6. Broken Heart

Broken Heart

Larken

" I let you down." I hung my head in shame. This had been the most important task I'd ever been given, and I'd ballsed it up. If it wasn't for Roan, I dread to think what would have happened.

"Did you?" Deke looked me square in the eyes. It was almost as if he was trying to lead me somewhere. There was no condemnation in his gaze. If anything, there was sympathy there.

"Yeah," my exasperation bled into my tone, making it sharper than it should be while I was speaking to my boss. Deke was the Head Enforcer. If he said something to Alpha Blake, I could be exiled from the pack.

"They got past me."

"How did they manage that?" Deke was being super patient with me. Completely at odds with how he usually was. Not that he was a ball-buster, just exacting. He wanted to have confidence that the pack was properly protected.

"They knocked me out." Fully put on my ass before making me take a nap in the middle of the hallway. How humiliating! My alter was still growling over it even as my head throbbed. The pain was nothing against the shame I felt.

"Was that before or after you raised the alarm to Roan, giving him a split-second advantage?" Deke casually pointed out.

"Oh." Shit. I'd just reacted instinctively. I barely remembered shouting to Roan.

"Yeah." His nod punctuated his answer. "You fought both assailants." We stood at the same height, about six-three, so he maintained eye contact with me easily. "Yourself." Deke was pointing at me now, some of his alpha influence leaking out as he begged me to see what I'd done.

"In close quarters, without the backup of your alter, thanks to the magic they had you under."

Yeah, my lizard was pissed beyond belief he'd been locked away. He wanted to take a bite out of them, but Kade had already killed one, and the other was for the Alpha to deal with. We were both proud of the Alpha Mate .

Deke continued, bolstering my shaky confidence. "You created enough noise that Roan was prepared for them. What you did was your job, and you did it well."

A swell of pride rose up inside me. I was sure I was about to get a dressing down. I thought for sure they would reassign me and send me for more training. Except, here I was in front of the Head Enforcer, getting praised.

Tears pricked at my eyes. "Everyone is okay, right?"

My first thought was for Roan. I heard the screams and cries. I knew the other kidnapper had hurt him. Stuck in the house, I had to stay put as he was taken to the clinic.

Then I felt bad about the baby. The little girl put us all in danger just for existing. It wasn't even her fault. I didn't blame her at all, just stupid alphas who weren't ready to accept things were changing.

"Kade is in shock. Jasper is getting his memories tweaked, so he doesn't go into labor. Aldrin doesn't want him to have the baby yet because he's measuring smaller than he should be. Little Elliotte is perfectly fine. Not even a scratch—"

"Roan?" I did care about the others. All my mind could focus on was he hadn't mentioned Roan. Did that mean he was bracing himself to give the bad news? Had we lost him ?

"Going to recover." I nearly fell to the floor with relief. My knees went to jelly for a split second before I made myself stand straight. I barely heard what Deke was saying. He was grinning, so Roan really had to be out of danger. I was sure someone said Roan had stopped breathing.

"That new healer is amazing. Roan will be up and about in no time. No visitors for a bit, though. The clinic is maxed out."

Deke's words stopped me in my tracks. How was I going to sleep, function, without seeing for myself that Roan was really alright?

"Lark?"

"Yeah?"

"Go get some sleep."

All night I just tossed and turned, unable to really drift off, too aware of the empty bed on the other side of the room. Aside from being my best friend here and the guy I had feelings for, Roan was also my roommate. Sure, it made things awkward sometimes, but I wouldn't have changed it for anything.

It was tempting to text Roan, though it was unlikely he had his phone. He hadn't reached out to me, and I didn't want to hassle him or smother him if he just needed space to heal.

Although I had the day off after being given a concussion and some bruises from the attack, I decided to see if I could be of any help. There was a shortage of enforcers since the attack. So many of us would have to be checked again by Axel and Chase to ensure pack loyalty. I hoped mine wasn't in doubt.

The breakfast room was subdued. Talk was hushed whispers. The alphas stayed in their friend groups, either not to attract attention or because of suspicion. The Alpha would have to do something about the atmosphere and doubt before a rift formed.

I drank some much needed coffee and ate a breakfast sandwich while tucked into the corner. None of the other alphas approached me, though I heard my name being mentioned. They had to be curious about what happened.

After eating quickly, I hunted down Deke and begged him to allow me to work.

"Inside patrols only. I want you on the offices and always with a partner." He gave me a no nonsense look.

"Isn't that overkill? Aldrin gave me a potion. I'm fine." Deke giving me special treatment wouldn't go down well with the other alphas. Not that I particularly cared what they thought of me.

"I'm being cautious. As you should be. We don't know a lot about the magic they used on you. Head injuries are no joke, even with magical healing."

His concern was touching, so I just nodded. "Okay, I'll head around."

"Lark?" Deke called as I left his office. I paused and turned to meet his gaze. "You are on the trusted list. Blake automatically put you there after what you did. If no one has said it yet, it's because things have been out of control here. Thank you for delaying them and raising the alarm. You helped save that little girl."

My shift had barely begun when I got a text from Melody on the front door to say I had a visitor needing into my room.

Curious, I let my partner know I was leaving and headed over to where a cluster of people were waiting for me. A cute omega was standing with two betas, Melody and another enforcer standing by, listening out for my approach.

"Hey, so you want into our room?" I asked as I got close. Why would they want in my room?

"Hi, so I'm Hiroshi, and I'm Roan's fated mate!"

The words tore my heart apart. I felt myself falter, leaving a pause slightly too long before I replied. "That's wonderful!" Oh fuck! Shit! My alter tried to soothe my panic. Frankly, he was shit at it and just as scared we were about to lose Roan as I was. I tried to hold back tears and inject enthusiasm into my voice.

"Congratulations. I can't wait to get to know you better, Hiroshi." I hate you, I hate you. The sentiment could have been coming from me or my alter. "Come on, let's get some of his stuff." He's taking him away from me! The dragon inside growled at the audacity of this omega.

I got myself together to ask the most important question. "Is he okay?"

Behind us, the betas followed silently as Hiroshi filled me in on the healing he had done with Roan. There was still a way to go as he recovered from the blood loss, and finished healing up his arm. The relief was staggering. I had to ask again to make sure.

"So he's really okay?" I practically whispered as I deactivated the wards to allow the visitors to enter.

We were just into the relative safety within our wards when Hiroshi dropped another bomb on me.

"Oh, absolutely. We just want to get to know him better before we try our bonding." He said it with such nonchalance, too.

Stopping dead, I felt hope rise within me. "What? What's wrong with your bond? Why wouldn't it work?" Please let it not work .

"Well, because we want all four of us to be bonded," Hiroshi said, as if it was a foregone conclusion that Roan would want to mate with an omega and two betas.

Hiroshi twitched as he waited for me to speak.

"And Roan is on board with this?" I asked. Why would he be so open to betas, a poly bond, and completely ignore me and all I'd done for him? Was I not enough?

"He said he's willing to try, which is more than any of us expected," the blond beta said. He missed the other one narrowing his eyes. It felt like not all of them were equally on board with this plan.

"Try." I paused. "Being in a poly bond?"

"I know it's unusual—" Hiroshi began.

"Unheard of, but you know what? It isn't any of my business. If that's what Roan wants, then that's what he should do." Goddess, it hurt. I needed to get them out of my space, then drink as much of our Sweetwater cider as I could manage. Blackout drunk. This called for being absolutely, forget your name wasted.

"You need to know something, though," I warned.

"What?" Hiroshi was nervously biting his lip. Dammit, he was so cute! No wonder he was so assured Roan would want him. Roan probably took one glance and fell in love with the little omega.

"Roan has enemies in the pack. We still haven't proven which ones were in on the attack on him." They needed to know the truth about Roan's standing in the pack if they had any hope of protecting him. Why didn't they question why we had such powerful wards on our door?

"Attack?" The tall, dark-skinned beta straightened up from where he stood, leaning against the wall. He was imposing. I hoped he would help protect Roan.

"During the beta sickness, other alphas of the pack attacked and badly beat Roan. They left him on the floor a mangled mess." All my energy drained out of me and I slumped onto the bed, feeling so defeated. This was really happening. An omega had come to take Roan away from me.

"We identified three of them and they were exiled, but there are others out there." My eyes met Hiroshi's. I wanted to hate him, I really did, but here he was, his heart on his sleeve showing just how much he cared for Roan already.

"Having lost three members for Roan hasn't exactly made him popular. Those guys had friends here that might not have been a part of it, but they are holding grudges for lost friends."

I'd heard some of them on mornings when I had breakfast with Roan. They would make snide remarks, knock into him so he would spill his food or coffee. All stupid things which could be put down to accidents, which obviously weren't .

"So we need to watch out for the other alphas? Is that what you are saying?" Hiroshi asked, his voice unsure and quietly spoken.

"What I'm saying is that Roan is Kade's ex. He was in the Hayes pack, so people are cautious about him. He killed Rincoln, preventing Blake from getting hurt, so that's a point in his favor."

He was a hero to the pack for that. Still, being Kade's assistant put him too close to his ex. It was a mess. More than once, I suggested Roan swap with Dalton, though neither was up for that.

"Mating as a group just puts another target on his back," I said, finally just getting it out there. Roan needed to keep his head down and not attract attention for a while.

"How so?" The blond beta filled the silence that followed my statement.

I almost felt bad that Hiroshi looked devastated.

"Anything that has him standing out right now is bad. The pack already believes he gets special treatment from the alpha." Putting it mildly. I shouldn't have been sugarcoating the truth.

"Do you believe that?" Again the blond spoke. It wasn't a question, really. He wanted to know what I thought.

Another one under Roan's spell .

"Goddess, no! Look, saving Elliotte will help his image —" I could see him winding up to reply, so I held up a hand. "Not that it was the reason he did it. He loves those babies as if they were his own. Kade is like a sibling to him these days, however weird that sounds."

It was true. Anyone who spent time with them could see the familial love and affection between them. Kade had allowed Roan back into his world and given Roan a family, something he had dearly missed while looking out for Kade over the years at a distance.

"So, what's the solution?" Hiroshi whispered, looking overwhelmed. Unshed tears filled his eyes.

"Keep it as quiet as you can until you know it's going to work. Keep an eye out for each other. Roan's one of my only friends here, so I'll help keep him safe as best as I can."

I didn't say much else as I helped them gather up Roan's favorite things along with his laptop.

Once they were gone, it really hit me. Roan wasn't coming back. I'd lost any chance I'd ever had with him now his fated mate was in his life.

My room felt empty with half his stuff gone. Hiroshi had a house in the omega section, somewhere I couldn't go without permission, so it wasn't like I could visit Roan whenever I wanted. He hadn't even texted me to tell me he was okay. Hadn't asked if I was alright either.

Realizing I wasn't as important to Roan as he was to me was the moment something broke inside me.

"Fuck this."

I got up from my bed and went to find some alcohol. Time to drown my sorrows.

Sometime later, the hours had long since lost meaning, Dalton found me drowning my sorrows.

"Are you alright?"

No, "what happened," or beating about the bush. Clearly, Dalton already knew what was happening.

"Not sure. Can't feel my fingers." The now empty bottle of the alcoholic cider slipped from my grip.

He caught it easily and set it on the table. "Good thing I brought snacks. We'll get you sober in no time."

"Ugh, no, let me be numb, please." My tongue felt thick in my mouth. Forming the words took far too much effort.

"Okay, maybe not sober. Less drunk, so you actually make sense. All I heard was ‘ugh, no,' then it was a garbled mess." Dalton chuckled to himself, though, looking closely, his expression was tight, and the laugh held a manic edge.

I clasped his wrist. "Are you alright?"

"Me? You're sweet, but my problems aren't quite as big as yours right now. I'll be back with something to soak up that booze." He scanned the table and saw the many bottles there. "Did you drink all this yourself?" Dalton sounded scandalized.

Nodding, I listed to the side before Dalton caught me. Once he set me upright, he patted my shoulder with sympathy, then left.

I woke from the doze I was in when the smell of fries reached my nose.

"Hey, I got Winter to make you some poutine. Works wonders for me when I've been drinking. That cider is wicked strong. I'll ask anyone if they have a hangover tonic later, okay?"

"Dal?"

"Here, eat some." Dalton shoved the bowl at me. Everything about him screamed tension, yet he was sticking by my side, making sure I was okay.

Picking up a fork, I took a bite before groaning as the taste exploded over my tongue. I turned to thank my friend to see him tucking into his own bowl. I must have been really out of it to miss him bringing in two bowls .

We ate in companionable silence until I felt less drunk. There were days I was grateful for my shifter metabolism. Today wasn't one of them. I wanted to feel nothing again. None of the pain of missing out on my chance with Roan.

"I'm sorry about Roan," Dalton said as he set down his empty bowl. "Sounds weird to say sorry when he's having the best day of his life, aside from the injury, of course."

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Have you been to see him?"

"Can't. He's in the omega section. Hiroshi took him to their house."

"You'll be able to get permission, no problem. I'm sure Chase would escort you, or Axel."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Dal, he hasn't even texted me. Do you know how many messages I've left since I heard he was in the clinic?"

"Oh." He sagged into the seat of the sectional.

The mansion had an entertainment room with a bar, pool tables, dart boards, and a selection of board games. Since the attack, no one felt up to socializing, everyone was suspicious of everyone else, so the room had been empty. The silence had suited my mood.

"Yeah, it's fine. He'll surface in a few days, apologize, and like a fool, I'll forgive him." I made a face at myself. My alter was too distant from me, thanks to the booze I'd consumed. Sweetwater cider sure was potent. One of the few things which could get shifters drunk.

"Wanna hear something that'll make you feel better?"

With difficulty, I turned to face my friend, seeing the same hurt I was feeling echoed there. "Sure."

"The elf came out of Axel's room. He has stuff there. As in, he sleeps there all the time. He's got weapons, clothes, things in Axel's room like he belongs there. This isn't a fling for them. They are inseparable." He sniffled, then wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"Y'know, it'd almost be easier if they were fated. You don't fuck with fate." Catching a look at my scowl, he backtracked. "Lark, come on, y'know what I mean, right?"

I laughed, because I did. "Yeah, yeah. A choice over fate is worse. Why are we both being fucked over right now?"

"Dunno, but I hate it. Any of those left?"

"Not sure. There might be some elven type vodka Hakeem brought over."

"Ugh! It sounds good, but it's from them! "

It didn't stop him from heading to the bar and downing three shots in quick succession.

"Phew! That's strong!" he said as he staggered towards me. His giggle as he landed in the seat next to me was cute.

I liked looking at Dalton's face. His top lip was thinner than the bottom, but his smile for me was always warm. His nose was straight and maybe slightly overlong for his face, but he didn't use it to look down on others. He kept his face free of what little facial hair he could grow and now that his health had returned, I had to admit he was attractive. There were faint smile lines around his eyes and though he was over a decade older than me, we looked to be around the same age. Shifter genetics were awesome.

Dalton smiled at something, those damn dimples popping. I was sure I had a weakness for those dimples.

Fuck, he was cute!

My mind was clearer now I'd eaten. There was still a fog over my senses from all I'd drank, but I was more myself.

"Thanks for coming to check on me."

"You're welcome. I hope you feel better. I do, now that the booze is hitting. Damn, that was good shit." He giggled, leaning his head against my chest. "Are you okay now? "

"Better than I was. Still sad, just not as bad as earlier."

Dalton eased himself onto my lap. "You know what makes me feel better when I'm sad?" He leaned in, his arms resting on my shoulders. "Orgasms. A lot of them." I could feel his hot breath against my lips. He was so very tempting like this. "So why don't you carry me upstairs and see if I can make you feel good?"

"Dimples, I'm sure you can."