5. Eli

ELI

The secluded garden is a fairytale come to life, all twinkling lights and fragrant blooms beneath a canopy of stars. Nico"s hand is warm and solid in mine as we meander down the winding path, our shoulders brushing with every step.

I can"t stop smiling, my cheeks aching with the force of my joy. This whole day has been like something out of a dream - the laughter, the sweet, stolen kisses, the way Nico looks at me like I"m the most precious thing he"s ever seen. I keep waiting for the clock to strike midnight, for reality to come crashing back in.

But as Nico tugs me to a stop beneath a sprawling oak tree, his eyes molten and intent on mine, I realize that this is no dream. This is real, and it"s happening, and I never want it to end.

"Eli," he murmurs, his free hand coming up to cup my cheek. His thumb strokes over my cheekbone, the calluses rasping deliciously against my skin. "You have no idea how long I"ve wanted this. Wanted you."

My breath catches in my throat, my heart rabbiting against my ribs. "I want you too," I whisper, turning my head to press a kiss to his palm. "So much, Nico. I feel like I"ve been waiting my whole life for you."

He makes a rough, desperate sound, and then his mouth is on mine, hot and demanding and perfect. I melt into the kiss with a sigh, my lips parting eagerly beneath the onslaught of his tongue.

Kissing Nico is like standing at the heart of an inferno, heat and hunger consuming me from the inside out. I can taste the wine we shared at dinner, rich and heady, and beneath it, the dark, smoky flavor that is pure him. It"s intoxicating, addicting, and I know I"ll never get enough.

Nico walks me backwards until my shoulders hit the trunk of the tree, the rough bark scraping deliciously against my skin through the thin fabric of my shirt. His body is a furnace against mine, all hard planes and coiled strength, and I can"t help but arch into him, seeking more of that delicious friction.

"God, look at you," he rasps, his lips trailing down the column of my throat. He nips at my pulse point, soothing the sting with his tongue, and I shudder, my head tipping back against the tree. "So fucking beautiful, Eli. I want to touch you everywhere, taste every inch of you."

"Please," I gasp, my fingers tangling in his hair. "Nico, please, I need you to touch me."

He groans, low and guttural, and then his hands are everywhere, skating over my ribs, my hips, the curve of my ass. He grips my thighs and hitches me up, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist, and oh. Oh.

The new angle brings our groins into perfect alignment, the hard ridge of his cock pressing against mine through the barrier of our clothes. I can"t stop the desperate little whimper that escapes my throat, my hips rolling mindlessly against his as I chase the exquisite pressure.

"Fuck," Nico grits out, his forehead dropping to rest against mine. "You"re killing me, sunshine. If we don"t slow down, I"m going to end up fucking you right here against this tree."

A bolt of molten lust spears through me at the thought, my cock throbbing almost painfully in the confines of my jeans. "And that would be a bad thing?" I rasp, my nails raking down the flexing muscles of his back.

Nico shudders, his grip tightening on my thighs. "It would be fucking incredible," he admits, his voice low and rough with strain. "But I want our first time to be in a bed, Eli. I want to spread you out and take my time with you, make it so good you forget your own name."

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god. If he keeps saying things like that, I"m going to spontaneously combust. "Yes," I pant, my head swimming with need. "Yes, Nico, please. Take me home, take me to bed."

He doesn"t need to be told twice. We barely make it back to the car, our hands grasping and roaming as we stumble down the path, exchanging frantic, biting kisses. By the time we reach my apartment, I"m trembling with anticipation, my skin feeling too tight for my body.

The moment the door clicks shut behind us, Nico is on me, his mouth hot and hungry as he walks me backwards towards the bedroom. We leave a trail of clothing in our wake - a shoe here, a belt there, buttons pinging off the hardwood as we tear impatiently at each other"s shirts.

And then we"re falling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, our skin flushed and damp with sweat. Nico braces himself above me on his elbows, his dark hair falling over his brow, his eyes glittering with desire and something infinitely tender.

"Hi," he murmurs, the corners of his mouth curling up in a soft smile. He brushes a lock of hair off my forehead, the gesture unbearably sweet. "Fancy meeting you here."

A breathless laugh bubbles up in my throat, joy and love and aching fondness expanding in my chest until I feel like I might burst with it. "Smooth talker," I tease, leaning up to brush a kiss over his smiling mouth. "You know just what to say to get a guy naked."

Nico hums, low and approving, as he trails his lips down my jaw, my throat, the wildly fluttering pulse at the base of my neck. "Oh, I"m just getting started, baby. By the time I"m done with you, the only word you"ll remember is my name."

And then he sets about making good on that promise, his mouth and hands taking me apart with devastating skill. He maps my body with lips and tongue and teeth, finding all the secret places that make me gasp and moan and writhe beneath him.

Time loses all meaning as he works me over, pleasure building and cresting in endless waves. He teases me to the brink again and again, backing off just before I can tumble over the edge, until I"m a sobbing, pleading wreck, my fingers clenched in the sheets, my hips arching helplessly off the bed.

"Please," I beg, my voice thin and thready with need. "Nico, please, I can"t...I need you inside me, need you to fuck me, please..."

"Shhh," he soothes, his hands smoothing over my trembling thighs. "I"ve got you, baby. I"m going to give you what you need, fill you up so good..."

The blunt head of his cock nudges against my entrance, slick with lube and my own desperate arousal. And then he"s pressing forward, breaching me in one long, slow slide that punches the air from my lungs and makes stars explode behind my eyes.

My back arches off the bed as he bottoms out, my body stretching and burning around the thick, heavy weight of him. It"s almost too much, too intense, but Nico gentles me through it, peppering my face with soft kisses as he lets me adjust.

"Breathe, baby," he coaxes, his voice low and soothing. "Just relax, let me in. I"ve got you, I promise."

And I do. I breathe out on a shuddering sigh, my muscles unclenching, my body opening to welcome him deeper. And then he starts to move, long, deep strokes that drag over that sweet spot inside me, making me see stars.

The bedroom is dark, lit only by the thin sliver of moonlight spilling through the crack in the curtains. Our bodies move together on the sweat-damp sheets, a tangle of slick skin and grasping hands, our breaths mingling in harsh pants and bitten-off moans.

"Nico," I gasp, my back arching off the bed as he drives into me, his hips snapping against mine in a relentless rhythm. "Oh god, yes, just like that..."

He groans, low and guttural, his teeth sinking into the sensitive flesh of my shoulder. The sting only heightens the pleasure, my nerve endings singing with sensation as he takes me higher and higher.

I"ve never felt anything like this before, this bone-deep connection, this sense of utter rightness. It"s like Nico"s touch has awakened something in me, some hidden well of desire and need that I never knew existed.

"Fuck, Eli," he rasps, his voice rough with strain. "You feel so fucking good. So perfect around my cock, like you were made for me."

I whimper, my nails raking down the flexing muscles of his back. I can feel my release building, coiling hot and tight at the base of my spine. "I"m close," I pant, my hips rocking frantically against his. "Nico, please, I need..."

"I know, baby," he soothes, his hand slipping between our straining bodies to wrap around my aching cock. "I"ve got you. Come for me, Eli. Let me feel you."

He strokes me in time with his thrusts, his grip tight and perfect. It only takes a handful of twisting pulls before I"m coming with a silent scream, my vision whiting out with the force of my climax.

Nico follows me over the edge with a guttural shout, his hips stuttering against mine as he spills himself deep inside me. I cling to him as he shudders through the aftershocks, my heart so full it feels like it might burst.

But as the sweat cools on our skin and our breathing slows, I feel Nico start to pull away, his shoulders tensing beneath my hands.

"Nico?" I ask, my voice small and uncertain in the sudden quiet. "Is everything okay?"

He sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. His back is to me, the broad expanse of his shoulders rigid with tension.

"This was a mistake," he says, his voice cold and distant. "I shouldn"t have let it go this far."

I feel like I"ve been doused in ice water, my stomach plummeting to my toes. "What? Nico, what are you talking about? How can you say that, after what we just shared?"

He shakes his head, still not looking at me. "It doesn"t matter. It was a moment of weakness, a lapse in judgment. It won"t happen again."

Hurt and disbelief war for dominance in my chest, my eyes stinging with the threat of tears. "Bullshit," I choke out, my voice cracking. "You don"t get to just dismiss this, Nico. Not after everything. Please, talk to me. Tell me what"s going on."

But he"s already standing, pulling on his clothes with jerky, mechanical movements. "I can"t," he says, his voice thick with some unnameable emotion. "I"m sorry, Eli. But this ends here. It has to."

And then he"s gone, the soft snick of the door closing behind him like a gunshot in the sudden stillness.

I curl into myself, silent sobs wracking my frame as hot tears spill down my cheeks. I don"t understand. How could everything have changed so quickly? How could Nico just walk away, after the way he touched me, the way he held me like I was something precious?

The thought sustains me through the long, bleak hours of the night, as I hug Nico"s pillow to my chest and inhale the fading scent of his skin. He couldn"t fake what I saw in his eyes, that raw, almost desperate tenderness. Something else is going on here, something he"s not telling me.

The sharp rap of knuckles against my apartment door jolts me out of my spiraling thoughts. For a moment, my heart leaps into my throat, hope surging through me in a dizzying rush. But then I hear a familiar voice calling my name, and my shoulders slump in mingled relief and disappointment.

"Eli? Open up, it"s me."

I drag myself out of bed on leaden legs, not bothering to throw on more than a ratty pair of sweatpants. My hair is a wild tangle, my eyes red and puffy from crying, but I can"t bring myself to care.

Sophia takes one look at my blotchy, tear-stained face and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug, her tiny frame belying her strength. "Oh, honey," she murmurs into my hair, her hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. "I"m so sorry. What happened?"

The story spills out of me in fits and starts, my voice choked and wavering. Soph listens without comment, her eyes going dark and flinty as I describe Nico"s abrupt departure, the coldness in his voice as he shut me out.

"That fucking bastard," she hisses when I"m finished, her fingers clenching into fists at her sides. "I"ll kill him. I"ll rip off his balls and feed them to him, see how he likes that."

Despite everything, a weak chuckle escapes my raw throat. "Down, girl," I rasp, wiping at my eyes with the heel of my hand. "Violence isn"t the answer, remember?"

Sophia huffs, but some of the blazing anger fades from her expression. "Fine. But Eli, honey...you can"t let him do this. You can"t let him just walk away without a fight. You love him, don"t you?"

My throat tightens, fresh tears threatening to fall. "I do," I whisper, my voice cracking. "God help me, Soph, but I love him so fucking much."

She nods, her eyes soft with understanding. "Then you have to go after him, Eli. You have to make him see that what you have is worth fighting for, no matter what spooked him."

I take a shuddering breath, my chin lifting in determination. "You"re right," I say, my voice gaining strength. "I"m not giving up on him. Not now, not ever."

Sophia smiles, fierce and proud. "That"s my boy. Now go get your man. And give him hell for making you cry, you hear?"

I press a grateful kiss to her cheek before sprinting for the door, snagging my keys and a hoodie on the way out. I peel out of the parking lot in a screech of rubber, my heart pounding in my throat as I speed through the predawn streets.

I find Nico at the warehouse by the docks, the dimly lit space filled with the acrid scent of gunpowder and stale cigarette smoke. His men tense as I stride across the concrete floor, their hands twitching towards their weapons. But Nico holds up a staying hand, something unreadable flickering in the depths of his dark eyes as he watches me approach.

"What are you doing here, Eli?" he asks, his voice carefully blank. "I thought I made myself clear last night."

"No," I say, my chin lifting stubbornly. "You didn"t. You gave me some bullshit excuse and ran away, and I want to know why. I deserve an explanation, Nico. I deserve the truth."

He flinches like I"ve struck him, his mask slipping for just a moment before he shutters his expression. "The truth?" he laughs, the sound harsh and bitter. "The truth is that I"m no good for you, Eli. The truth is that my world, my life...it"s too fucking dark and twisted for someone like you. If you were smart, you"d run as far and as fast as you can in the opposite direction."

I shake my head, hot tears pricking at the backs of my eyes. "I don"t care about that," I say fiercely, my voice trembling with the force of my conviction. "I don"t care about your world or your darkness, Nico. I care about you. I love you, all of you, even the broken parts. And I know you love me too, even if you"re too scared to admit it."

Nico goes utterly still, his face draining of color. For a moment, I think I"ve gotten through to him, that he"s going to pull me into his arms and never let me go.

But then his expression hardens, his eyes going cold and flat. "You"re wrong," he says, each word falling like a hammer blow. "I don"t love you, Eli. I can"t love you. What happened between us was a mistake, a weakness I can"t afford. And I won"t let it happen again."

I reel back like he"s slapped me, my heart shattering in my chest. "Nico," I plead, my voice breaking on a sob. "Please. Please don"t do this. We can find a way, we can make it work. Just give us a chance."

But he"s already turning away, his broad shoulders rigid with finality. "Go home, Eli," he says, his voice leaden with exhaustion. "Forget about me, about us. It"s better this way, for both of us."

And then he"s gone, striding out of the warehouse and out of my life, his men falling into step behind him like loyal shadows.

I crumple to my knees on the cold concrete, gasping sobs tearing at my throat as I curl into myself. It feels like Nico"s ripped my still-beating heart from my chest, leaving me broken and bleeding in his wake.

But even as despair crashes over me in overwhelming waves, a small, stubborn spark kindles to life in my shattered heart. This isn"t over, I think fiercely, my tears drying on my cheeks. I won"t let Nico throw away what we have, not without a fight.

He can push me away all he wants, but I know the truth. I saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch. He loves me, as deep and true as I love him.

And come hell or high water, I"m going to make him admit it.