4. Nico

NICO

The pounding bass of the club thrums through my bones, the flashing neon lights painting lurid colors across the undulating mass of bodies on the dance floor. The air is thick with the stench of sweat and spilled liquor, the sticky-sweet tang of cheap perfume and cheaper cologne. It"s the kind of place where sins are bartered like currency, where secrets are spilled as easily as the vodka sloshing in the glasses.

Normally, I thrive in this environment. The grit and grime, the pulse and grind of flesh on flesh - it"s as close to home as I"ve ever known. A place where I can lose myself in the physicality of it all, drown out the chaos in my head with the pounding rhythm of the music.

But tonight, even the bass can"t drown out the thoughts churning in my brain. Thoughts of golden curls and summer-sky eyes, of a smile as bright as sunshine on a field of wildflowers. Thoughts of Eli fucking Bloom, the man who"s somehow burrowed under my skin like a splinter I can"t shake loose.

It"s been a week since the attack at the flower shop. A week since I spilled my blood on Eli"s floor, since he stitched me back together with trembling hands and a tenderness that cracked me open like an eggshell. A week of heated glances and lingering touches, of a tension so thick it"s like wading through molasses.

I want him. Fuck, I want him so badly it"s like a physical ache, a hollow yearning in my gut that no amount of booze or anonymous fucks can fill. I dream about him, about the satin-soft glide of his skin beneath my fingertips, the breathy catch of his moans in my ear. I wake hard and aching, my cock throbbing in time with the relentless pounding of my pulse.

It"s a fucking liability, this bone-deep hunger for a man I have no business wanting. A distraction I can"t afford, not with the Bianchis breathing down my neck and the feds sniffing around my father"s operation. I need to be sharp, focused, ruthless. I can"t let myself be compromised by a pair of pretty blue eyes and a smile that could melt a glacier.

"You"re thinking too hard, brother. I can practically see the smoke pouring out of your ears."

I startle at the voice in my ear, my hand twitching towards the gun holstered at my side. But it"s just Tommy, my idiot kid brother, grinning at me with a mouthful of too-white teeth.

"Fuck off," I growl, taking a swig of my whiskey. The glass clinks against my teeth, the burn of the alcohol searing my throat. "I"m not in the mood for your shit tonight, Tommy."

He just laughs, the sound carrying over the thump of the music. "You"re never in the mood for my shit, Nico. That"s why you love me - I keep you on your toes."

I roll my eyes, but I can"t quite bite back the twitch of my lips. Damn him, but the kid"s not wrong. For all his playboy antics and devil-may-care attitude, Tommy"s always had a knack for cutting through my bullshit. He sees me, the real me, beneath the icy exterior and the hardened shell of violence and cynicism.

"So, you gonna tell me what"s got your panties in a twist?" he asks, signaling the bartender for another round. "Or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?"

I snort, my fingers tightening on my glass. "As if you could take me, little brother. I"ve been wiping the floor with your scrawny ass since we were in diapers."

Tommy grins, sharp and feral. "Maybe. But I fight dirty, and you know it."

He"s not wrong. For all my superior strength and skill, Tommy"s always been a wily little bastard. Quick and cunning, with a vicious streak a mile wide. It"s what makes him such a valuable asset to the family, and such a pain in my fucking ass.

"It"s nothing," I mutter, draining the last of my whiskey. The ice clinks in the empty glass, a mocking counterpoint to the hollow ache in my chest. "Just...business shit. The usual."

Tommy cocks his head, his eyes narrowing. "Bullshit," he says, his voice low and intent. "This is about flower boy, isn"t it? The pretty little civilian you"re playing house with."

I stiffen, my fingers clenching around the empty glass. "Watch your fucking mouth," I snarl, a hot flush of anger crawling up the back of my neck. "Eli"s not...it"s not like that."

Tommy"s eyebrows shoot up, a slow, wicked grin spreading across his face. "Oh, it"s Eli now, is it? Not Bloom, or the florist, or that annoying fucking twink you got saddled with? Interesting."

I glare at him, my jaw clenching so hard I can feel my teeth creak. "Drop it, Tommy. I"m not in the mood for your fucking games."

He holds up his hands in mock surrender, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Hey, no games here, brother. Just calling it like I see it. And from where I"m standing, it looks like you"ve got it bad for a certain golden-haired ray of sunshine."

I squeeze my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Fuck. Is it that obvious? Am I wearing my stupid, hopeless crush on my sleeve for anyone to see?

"It doesn"t matter," I grind out, my voice rough and raw. "Even if I did...feel something for him, which I don"t, it wouldn"t change anything. He"s a job, a means to an end. Getting tangled up with him would be a fucking disaster."

Tommy"s quiet for a long moment, his gaze heavy on the side of my face. When he speaks again, his voice is uncharacteristically serious, almost gentle. "Nico. Look at me."

I drag my eyes open, meeting his gaze reluctantly. There"s no trace of mockery or amusement in his expression now, just a fierce, almost tender understanding.

"I know you think you"re too far gone for something like this," he says quietly, his hand coming up to grip my shoulder. "That you"re too broken, too tainted by the life we lead to deserve a shot at happiness. But that"s bullshit, and you know it. You"re not our father, Nico. You"re not doomed to follow in his footsteps, to let this world swallow you whole."

I flinch, my throat tightening with a sudden swell of emotion. "Tommy..."

"No, shut up and listen to me for once, you stubborn bastard. You"ve been carrying the weight of this family on your shoulders since we were kids, and it"s fucking breaking you. I see it every day, the way it eats at you, the way it hollows you out little by little. And I won"t stand by and watch it happen anymore. Not when there"s a chance for something better, something real."

I swallow hard, my eyes stinging with the threat of tears. Fucking hell. Leave it to Tommy to cut right to the heart of me, to lay me bare with a few well-placed words.

"It"s not that simple," I rasp, my voice cracking like rusted metal. "Even if I wanted to pursue this thing with Eli, even if I thought for a second it could work...the risks are too high. If my enemies found out, if they tried to use him against me..."

"Then you fucking annihilate them," Tommy says fiercely, his eyes blazing with conviction. "You protect what"s yours, no matter the cost. That"s what you"ve always done for me, for the family. Why should it be any different for the man you love?"

The word hangs between us, stark and unavoidable. Love. Is that what this is? This clawing, desperate hunger, this ache in my chest that feels like it might split me in two? I don"t know. I"ve never...I"ve never felt anything like this before. Never let myself want something, someone, with such reckless abandon.

But looking into my brother"s eyes, seeing the unwavering faith and support shining back at me...I feel something loosen in my chest. A tightly-wound knot of fear and self-loathing, unraveling thread by thread.

"Okay," I rasp, the word tearing out of me like a bullet from a wound. "Okay, Tommy. I"ll...I"ll try. For him, for a chance at something real...I"ll try."

Tommy"s grin is blinding, his hand tightening on my shoulder. "Damn right you will. And I"ll be right there with you, brother. Every step of the way."

Something warm and fierce blooms in my chest, a rush of gratitude and affection for this reckless, loyal idiot I"m lucky enough to call my blood. I pull him into a rough hug, thumping his back hard enough to rattle his teeth.

"Thank you," I mutter gruffly into his shoulder, my voice choked with emotion. "For always knowing what I need to hear, even when I"m too chickenshit to admit it."

Tommy laughs, squeezing me back just as hard. "That"s what brothers are for, asshole. Now go get your man before I do it for you."

I pull back, swiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. "Fuck off," I grumble, but there"s no heat in it. "As if he"d give you the time of day, you scrawny little punk."

Tommy just grins, smug as a cat in cream. "Never underestimate the Caruso charm, brother. It"s a powerful thing."

I flip him off, but I can"t quite suppress the answering grin tugging at my lips. For the first time in longer than I can remember, I feel something like hope fluttering in my chest. A tentative, fragile thing, but real and precious all the same.

Bolstered by Tommy"s support and my own reckless determination, I throw myself into planning the perfect first date. I want to do this right, to show Eli that I"m serious about exploring this thing between us. That he"s more than just a job, more than just a convenient warm body to lose myself in.

I settle on a secluded botanical garden on the outskirts of the city, a lush oasis of flowers and greenery hidden behind high stone walls. It"s the kind of place Eli would love, a riot of color and beauty amidst the grit and grime of the urban jungle.

When I pitch the idea to him, his eyes light up like fucking Christmas trees, his smile so bright it"s almost blinding. "Really?" he breathes, his hands fluttering excitedly. "You want to take me to a garden? On a...a date?"

I shrug, feigning a nonchalance I don"t feel. "If you want to call it that, sure. I just thought...I know how much you love flowers, and I wanted to do something nice for you. To show you that I...that I appreciate you. Beyond just the job, I mean."

Eli"s smile softens, his eyes going warm and liquid. "Nico," he murmurs, stepping closer to me. His hand comes up to rest on my chest, right over the hammering of my heart. "You don"t have to do anything special to show me that. Just being here, just...being you, is enough."

I swallow hard, my throat clicking. "Yeah, well. Maybe I want to do something special, did you ever think of that? Maybe I want to spoil you a little, treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

Eli"s breath catches, his fingers curling into the fabric of my shirt. "And how do I deserve to be treated?" he asks softly, his gaze heavy-lidded and full of heat. "Like a precious orchid under glass? Or like a wildflower swaying in the wind?"

Fuck. The image those words conjure, of Eli splayed out amidst a tangle of wildflowers, his skin gleaming with sweat and his hair haloed in gold...it slams into me like a freight train, desire spiking through my veins like a drug.

"Like both," I rasp, my voice rough and raw with want. "Like everything, Eli. You deserve everything I can give you, and more. Let me...let me show you. Let me give you a perfect fucking day, one shining moment outside the madness of our lives."

Eli"s eyes flutter shut, a shuddering breath escaping his parted lips. When he opens them again, they"re blazing with a fierce, almost desperate longing. "Yes," he whispers, his hand sliding up to cup the back of my neck. "Yes, Nico. Take me away from all of this. Make me forget, just for a little while."

It"s all the permission I need. I capture his mouth in a searing kiss, our teeth clacking and noses bumping in our eagerness. Eli opens for me instantly, his tongue sliding hot and slick against my own as he arches into my touch.

I walk him backwards until his shoulders hit the wall, my thigh sliding between his legs to press against the hardening bulge of his cock. He whimpers into my mouth, his hips rolling against me in desperate little circles. It"s fucking intoxicating, the way he comes alive under my hands, the way he melts and molds against me like he was made to fit there.

I deepen the kiss, my tongue plundering the hot, slick cavern of his mouth as my hands roam restlessly over his body. I slip them beneath the hem of his shirt, skimming over the smooth, heated skin of his back before dipping lower to cup the firm globes of his ass. Eli moans into the kiss, arching into my touch like a cat in heat.

Emboldened by his response, I tear my mouth from his to blaze a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down the column of his throat. Eli tips his head back with a gasp, his fingers tangling in my hair as I latch onto the sensitive skin beneath his ear. I suck and nibble at the spot, worrying it with my teeth until I"m sure I"ve left a mark. A brand, a claim, a visible reminder that he"s mine.

"Nico," Eli pants, his voice thready and desperate. "Please, I need...I need..."

"Tell me," I growl against his skin, my hands kneading the firm muscle of his ass. "Tell me what you need, baby. I"ll give it to you, anything, everything..."

"Your mouth," he gasps, his hips bucking against my thigh. "I need your mouth on me, please..."

Fuck yes. I drop to my knees in a heartbeat, my fingers making quick work of his belt and zipper. I tug his jeans and boxer briefs down just enough to free his straining erection, the hard, velvet-smooth length of it slapping against his belly.

I take a moment to admire the sight of him, flushed and leaking and so goddamn beautiful it makes my chest ache. And then I"m leaning forward, my tongue darting out to lap at the bead of moisture at his tip.

Eli cries out sharply, his hips jerking forward as if pulled by a string. I pin him to the wall with a forearm across his hips, holding him steady as I take him into my mouth inch by torturous inch.

He"s hot and heavy on my tongue, the taste of him salty-sweet and intoxicating. I hollow my cheeks and suck hard, swirling my tongue around the sensitive crown before sinking down until the head of his cock nudges the back of my throat.

"Oh fuck," Eli sobs, his fingers scrabbling for purchase on my shoulders. "Nico, your mouth, it"s so...fuck, it"s perfect, you"re perfect..."

I moan around him in response, the broken desperation in his voice stoking the flames of my own desire. I bob my head in a steady rhythm, taking him deep and then pulling back to tease the tip with flicks of my tongue.

Eli writhes against the wall, his thighs trembling and his abs clenching as he fights the urge to thrust into my mouth. I can tell he"s getting close by the way his moans pitch higher, his fingers tightening almost painfully in my hair.

Part of me wants to push him over the edge, to taste his release on my tongue and feel him shatter apart in my hands. But a bigger part of me wants to make this last, to draw out the sweet, agonizing build of pleasure until he"s a babbling, incoherent mess.

So I pull off with a filthy, wet pop, licking my lips to chase the taste of him. Eli whines at the loss, his hips twitching forward in a futile search for friction.

In a flash, I"m back on my feet, spinning Eli around to face the wall. I press up against his back, my still-clothed erection nestling into the cleft of his ass as I grind against him desperately. Eli pushes back into me with a moan, his hands scrabbling for purchase on the smooth surface.

I reach around to wrap my fingers around his spit-slick cock, stroking him in time with the roll of my hips. My other hand slides down to tease at his entrance, circling the furled muscle with the pad of my thumb.

Eli gasps and clenches around my finger, his head dropping back onto my shoulder. "Please," he pants, his voice ragged and wrecked. "Nico, please, I need you inside me..."

Fuck, the temptation is overwhelming. To just kick his legs apart and sink into the tight heat of his body, to claim him wholly and irrevocably. I"m so hard it hurts, my cock throbbing in the confines of my slacks.

But before we can get too carried away, I force myself to pull back, my breathing ragged and my heart thundering in my ears. I turn him around so we're facing each other again, my cock painfully hard as I tuck his straining erection back into his boxers, his whine making my shaft twitch.

"Wait," I pant, pressing my forehead against his sweat-dampened nape. "Not here, not like this. I want...I want to do this right, Eli. I want our first time to be perfect, to be everything you deserve."

Eli makes a soft, desperate sound, his fingers digging into my shoulders. "It will be," he rasps, his eyes fever-bright and glazed with desire. "It will be perfect, Nico. Because it"s with you. That"s all I need, all I want. Just you."

Fuck. The naked adoration in his gaze, the raw, unbridled want...it"s almost enough to shatter my resolve. But I cling to it stubbornly, determined to give Eli the romance and tenderness he deserves.

"Tomorrow," I promise, brushing a soft, lingering kiss over his lips. "I"ll pick you up at noon, and we"ll spend the whole day together. Just you and me, no distractions, no interruptions. And then...then I"ll take you home, and I"ll show you just how much I want you. How much I...how much I feel for you."

Eli shudders against me, a soft, broken moan spilling from his lips. "Tomorrow," he echoes, his eyes shining with anticipation. "I can"t wait, Nico. I can"t wait to be yours, in every way that matters."

Neither can I, I think fiercely, pulling him into a crushing embrace. Neither can fucking I.

But as I bury my face in the soft golden curls at his nape, breathing in the warm, green scent of him...a cold tendril of unease unfurls in my gut. An icy premonition, a sense of impending doom that has the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

Because even as I hold Eli in my arms, even as I let myself imagine a future where we can be together without fear or hesitation...I can"t shake the feeling that we"re being watched. That somewhere out there, in the shadows and the hidden places, eyes are trained on us with malicious intent.

And if my instincts are right, if my worst fears are about to be realized...then tomorrow might not be the beginning of our happily ever after. It might be the beginning of the end, the first domino in a chain reaction that will bring my world crashing down around my ears.

But as Eli sighs and snuggles deeper into my embrace, his heart beating in perfect sync with my own...I know that I"ll fight like hell to keep him safe. To keep this fragile, precious thing between us alive and blooming, no matter the cost.

Even if it means going to war with my own father, the man who molded me into the monster I am today. Even if it means tearing apart everything I"ve ever known, everything I"ve ever been.

For Eli...for a chance at love, at redemption, at a future beyond the bloodstained legacy of my past...

I"ll burn the whole fucking world down.