14. Chapter Fourteen

Shifting on the bed, I couldn’t hold back my grimace as my muscles and stitches protested the movement. There were so many things about childbirth, and after childbirth, the books didn’t tell you. Or maybe they had, but reading about it didn’t prepare you for the reality of what happened inside your body.

“Let me take her so you can try to get comfortable,” Grayson reached for Julianna but I shook my head stubbornly. This was the first time in hours that she had been quiet. I wanted to enjoy feeling her in my arms, content for the time being. I just wanted to feed my baby. To hold her and cuddle her.

“Stop being so bossy.” My snappish tone was sharper than I had meant it to be. I was still annoyed with him, and I had to keep reminding myself of that fact. Even if he had come in and taken charge of the situation. I was annoyed with myself for finding it so hot, too. “You can’t just keep trying to take over everything.”

For the first time since he had shown up, I noticed my duffel bag he must have placed in the chair, along with a white bag that the most tantalizing scents were drifting from. My stomach grumbled loudly, the sound filling the room. At some point, Nikki and the lactation specialist must have slipped out, leaving us alone.

Grayson’s lips twitched, but he didn’t crack a smile. “I went by your house and found what looked like the bag you had packed for the hospital. If it’s not, direct me to whatever you need and I’ll pick it up. And I brought dinner. Thought you might want something besides hospital food.”

“Oh,” ducking my head, I stared down at Julianna as she suckled. He had grabbed the correct bag, the one I packed just last week, too. All the books said to have the bag for the hospital packed a month before your due date, so that’s what I had done, never expecting to actually need it now. “That was really nice of you.”

Acknowledging the kind gesture was hard, and I had to keep reminding myself that I didn’t really know this man, even if he was Julianna’s other father. That I wanted to keep my distance. He had the power, if he chose, to take her from me. Nothing indicated that was what he was planning, but I had no doubt he was going to want to be a part of her life. That I was going to have to co-parent with him. Another thing in my perfectly laid out plans I had never counted on.

“Were the movers gone, then?” Very glad I had prepaid, it still made me anxious, thinking of the mess I was bound to have to take Julianna home to. Her crib wasn’t even put together yet. And I could only hope they had set up my bed. If not, I would be sleeping on the couch until I was physically able to do it. Or could hire someone. Plus, there was no way I would be able to even lift most of the boxes or move furniture around for several weeks.

He nodded, his gaze fixated on Julianna as well. For someone who hadn’t wanted a mate, let alone a pup, he seemed mesmerized by her. “They were. Miss Rose and Gigi were there. They were not happy with how the movers left your place, and I’m afraid I left them alone there, once we found your bag. Hard telling where you might find things, but I think they were hell bent on getting some things unpacked and set to rights for you. I heard something about ‘no one wants to have to worry about where the toilet paper is’, and I hightailed it out of there.” A faint blush rose above his closed cropped, salt and pepper beard. “Those two terrify me.”

Honestly, I could probably learn a thing or two from those two ladies.

“They are very formidable.” Nodding, I risked gently pulling the bottle from between Julianna’s pursed lips. Gently placing her on my shoulder, I patted her back.

“Good word to describe them.”

Julianna tossed her head, fussing at me.

“You need to pat her back harder to get the burp out,” Grayson instructed me softly.

Blowing a breath out through my nose, I shot him an annoyed look. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Babies are stronger than they look.” Reaching over, he took her from me and I let him. He patted her back firmly, and within three pats, a healthy burp erupted from her. Along with a frothy milk trail on the fabric of his shoulder. He didn’t seem upset by it, just leaned forward, took the burp cloth from my shoulder and swiped at it, then cleaned her mouth.

“Here,” sulking, I handed him the bottle, “you seem to be better at this than I am.”

“I’m not better, Wyatt,” he told me gently, adjusting Julianna in the cradle of his arms, and giving her the bottle back to finish eating. “I’ve just had a lot of practice the last couple of years. It’s like all my friends are single-handedly trying to start a population boom in Sweet Alps. Every time I turn around there’s another pup.”

Blinking, the prickly heat burning my eyes–Goddess, I was soooo over crying–I whispered, “She hates me. My own baby hates me. All she does is scream every time I touch her.”

Dramatic much?My giraffe huffed, and I chose to ignore them. I felt like I had a right to be a bit dramatic today.

Grayson’s dark eyes held a soft look that I had a hard time deciphering. “She doesn’t hate you Wyatt, she loves you. You kept her safe for months. She turns her head every time she hears your voice. But…”

“What?” Waving a hand at him in a come-on motion, I urged him to continue. “What were you going to say?”

“It’s just an observation from my friends, that’s all.”

“The ones having all the babies?” Goddess, even I was annoyed with my pissy, surly tone.

He pursed his lips, but he was smiling slightly. Not quite enough to see those dimples I had only gotten to briefly see once, but it was still a smile. “Yeah, them. It’s just if you’re tense and upset, she’s going to be tense and upset. Babies can feel your emotions and they take their cues from you.”

“So, I should relax?”

He shrugged, “Pretty much. Stop trying to be perfect at this, Wyatt. Parenting is not perfect. Trust me. Just do the best you can, but you’re going to need to learn to pivot. She isn’t a textbook. She has her own emotions, her own personality. She might not act, or even react, like you expect her to. And that’s okay. Just love her. Keep her safe. Protect her. Like you already have been. Like you know how to do. That’s all she needs from you.”

Blinking the wetness from my eyes, I nibbled on my bottom lip with my teeth, and took a shuddering breath in. “Stop it! Stop saying all the right things, dammit! I’m trying to stay mad at you.”

Grayson chuckled lowly, then ducked his head to look at the baby. “Sorry.”

He so isn’t, my giraffe huffed, and I crossed my arms over my chest, forgetting about my sore nipples.

“Ouch,” I hissed. “Everything hurts. It’s making me out of sorts. I’m sorry for snapping at you when you’re just trying to help.”

“When did you have pain medication last?” he demanded, sounding like he might go chase down a nurse on my behalf.

“Three hours, fifty-seven minutes, and forty-seven seconds ago.” I mumbled without thinking about it. When he just stared at me wide-eyed, I huffed, “What? There’s a clock over there.” So my brain was functioning somewhat normally again. I had calculated the time with no thought. Because pregnancy brain had messed with my real brain something fierce.

It meant Nikki was bound to be popping in with her overly annoying perky self any minute. Thank goodness, because I could really use some pain meds right about now. And some decent food.

“Can I eat?” With my eyes, I gestured to the white bag he had sat on the side table. I had kind of forgotten about the food for a minute, but I was ravenous. Hunger was probably partly causing my surly attitude. Along with a multitude of other things.

“Go for it. There’s a salad, a couple of cheeseburgers, a grilled chicken sandwich, fries and onion rings.” He brought the bag over and placed it on the rolling bed tray, pulling it across my lap. I was a lot envious of the way he did it, while still managing to feed the baby without interruption.

“How much food do you think I can eat at one time?” I dug the green salad out first and opened it with a sigh of happiness. “Spinach. Yum.”

Instead of lettuce, the base was spinach, which I knew was high in iron. The rest of the toppings were basic; cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots. My giraffe didn’t eat meat and loved leafy vegetables. This would make them happy. I dug in with a pleased sound of contentment.

“I thought I would eat with you.” His lips pressed together in that same little pleased smile of his, “I’ll eat whatever you don’t want.”

He proceeded to coax another top-notch burp out of Julianna, then efficiently changed her diaper, cooing nonsense words at her the entire time. Her little eyes were drooping and her lips made tiny smacking noises and snuffles, as he placed her back into the plastic bassinet. Watching him be so efficient, I tried to remember I was annoyed at him, and to not stare at his firm ass in his jeans.

Taking the chicken sandwich out of the bag, I snagged the fries too, after telling myself I didn’t need them and had baby weight to lose. After the ordeal of today, I felt like I had earned them, though, and dieting could wait. Handing him the bag, I murmured a quiet thank you around a mouthful of salad.

Nikki came in and I had to pause eating while she checked my vitals and administered my pain meds. “I’ll come back to take the baby to the nursery after I make my rounds. Since you’re not chest feeding, we’ll keep her there all night so you can rest, as Dr. Sinclair requested. We would have just brought her in for her feedings otherwise, then taken her back to the nursery,” she explained, entering my stats in her laptop.

“Can she stay in the room if I’m here to do the feedings?” Grayson shocked me with his question. Wait, he was planning to stay here? All night? In my room? To take care of the baby? I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. We still had a shit ton of things to discuss and decide, and this seemed like an intimate thing to do. We weren’t in a relationship, despite sharing a child.

Fated mate, don’t forget, my giraffe hummed, reminding me.

Nikki’s fingers hesitated over her keyboard. “I would need to get it cleared with Dr. Sinclair. He was pretty adamant that Wyatt needed to rest as much as possible.”

Grayson nodded, digging into the bag and pulling out a paper wrapped burger. It smelled delicious, greasy and I could see cheese and a piece of bacon sticking out. While my giraffe ate no meat, the human side of me didn’t mind chicken, or some fish now and then. Red meat had never appealed to me, but that burger looked and smelled amazing. Maybe I was hungrier than I’d thought I was if burgers were tempting me.

“I can call him,” Grayson put his burger down on my tray, pulling his phone out of his pocket and sliding his thumb over it. Surreptitiously, I tugged on the piece of bacon sticking out of his burger, sliding it free. Biting into it, my eyes closed and I moaned out loud. When I opened my eyes, I saw Grayson staring at me, his phone paused halfway to his ear, grinning and looking pleased with himself.

His dark eyes looked even darker than they normally did, his pupils slightly dilated. Realizing I was still making little moaning sounds as I devoured the bacon, I felt my face heat up.

The flush I was sure was burning my cheeks had been worth it because there they were. The dimples that had the power to topple a nation. Goddess, if I hadn’t literally just given birth, I was sure my backside would be damp with slick. Those dimples made my stomach do a whirly loop.

Staring back at him, I ate the last bite of bacon, daring him to say one word.

“Hey Finn, question,” he spoke into the phone, as I licked my bacon coated fingers, ignoring the gagging sound my giraffe made at my meat eating.

Nikki was smiling as she finished up with her notes. “I steal bacon from my mate too. I mean, it’s bacon, how can you not?”

Grayson held his phone out to Nikki. “Finn wants to speak to you.”

She took the proffered phone, and turned away, speaking quietly into it.

“You’re used to getting your way, aren’t you?” Though it wasn’t really a question, more me stating what I had deduced was a fact.

Grayson sat back down with his burger, taking a large bite and shrugging nonchalantly. “People tend to do what I ask, yes.”

Snorting, I bit into a fry. Even lukewarm, the diner food was delicious. Or maybe I was just so hungry I didn’t care. “I think you have the definitions of ask and tell confused.”

“Finn is a friend. I asked him if it would be detrimental to your recovery if I stayed in the room all night, and took care of the feedings. Believe me, Finn Sinclair would have no trouble telling me no.”

“Why do I feel like the list of people who would tell you no is rather short?”

Grayson shrugged, “Haven’t really thought about it. Jamie says I’m used to people doing what I say.”

“Jamie?”

“Jamie Sinclair. He’s my best friend. He’s also Finn’s brother. We worked together for a long time, before he came home to Sweet Alps.”

There was that Sinclair name again. There sure seemed to be a lot of them. I had questions I wanted to ask Grayson, about his life. Wanted to discover who he was. Needed to for my–our–daughters sake. I wasn’t about to let her go off with someone I didn’t know the first thing about, and the way Grayson had been acting, I was one hundred percent sure he was going to want some kind of visitation arrangement.

“Was that how you ended up here?” I wiped my mouth, reclining on the bed, pleasantly full. The pain meds had done their job, and I wasn’t hurting as bad.

“Something like that,” Grayson responded evasively. “Story for another time. I need to ask you something.”

Trepidation swirled in my gut, and it had nothing to do with the greasy fries I had inhaled.

“Sure.” Smoothing the blankets around my middle gave my hands something to do.

“Why didn’t you contact me when you discovered you were pregnant?”

The question hung in the air between us like a live thing.

“I didn’t even know your name,” I reminded him. “How could I contact you?”

Grayson stared at me, his eyes hard and assessing. Gone was the smile from earlier. I fought the urge to squirm under his look. If he stared at anyone who broke the law like that, I was sure they would confess to every wrong doing they had ever done in a matter of minutes. “All you had to do was look up my information on the app, Wyatt. Even with me deleting my account, you would have been able to find it.”

Icy dread flowed through my body. He knew. Somehow, he knew I had access to privileged information on the Taboo app. How did he know? Who was this man? He was much more than he appeared in his casual dress of jeans, work boots, and tan uniform shirt that he pinned a badge to.

Deep down, I think I had always known that, though. Even with no names exchanged between us, no small talk conversation, I had always known this man was powerful. Intelligent. Possibly deadly. It just seeped from his pores and was in everything he did. The way he moved, the way he looked at people, like he knew their deepest secrets with just a glance of his dark eyes. He exuded confidence and a don’t fuck with me attitude.

“You obviously know way more about me than I know about you.” The strength in my voice surprised me, but I sat up a little straighter in the uncomfortable bed. Maybe I should have spent the afternoon searching him on the internet, instead of trying to find scientific facts that supported the theory of fated mates.

“I know everything about you.” His voice was low and dark.

Snorting, I said, “I doubt that.”

He spent the next ten minutes rattling off disturbingly factual things about my life. When he finished, he went back to staring at me, his face impassive but hard. Gone were those lovely dimples of his.

Licking my dry lips, I jutted my chin out defiantly. “Miss Rose obviously had someone do a background check on me. I would have done the same thing in her place. Though it was surprisingly thorough. Some things you listed can’t be found on the internet, and seem to go beyond even what standard law enforcement would be able to find.”

“No one said I was standard law enforcement. But it wasn’t me. I just came into this information today. That doesn’t matter, though. You’re evading the question. Why didn’t you look up my information when you found out you were pregnant? I had a right to know.”

Annoyance and anger flared at his audacity, and I choked back a hollow laugh. “You had no rights whatsoever to know anything. We both made the choice to be on that app. To have a no names hookup. The end. Me becoming pregnant was just…an unexpected after effect. It wasn’t like you hadn’t used birth control–two kinds even. But your responsibility ended when you left that hotel room. I had no responsibility to tell you anything. I didn’t look up your information, Grayson, quite frankly because I never wanted to know. I never planned for you to be a part of my daughter’s life. I never planned to ever see you again, or for you to even find out she existed. No more than you ever planned to tell me that we were fated mates. Not that I even believed in that nonsense.”

His eyes narrowed at my words, “Does that mean you believe we are fated mates now?”

“It means I believe there is enough scientific research to prove their existence and I’m open to the possibility. I’m conflicted about how I feel about you keeping the information from me. And I don’t see how it changes anything, in the long run. You clearly didn’t want a mate, and I don’t see the point in them. For that matter, I don’t see the point in marriage, or mate claiming. Certainly not the bond claiming that is talked about with fated mates. I’ve had enough of people controlling my life and making decisions for me. I’m capable of financially supporting myself and my daughter on my own. That was my plan all along, and I’m not changing that just because we happen to live in the same town now and you know she exists. I’m aware I will have to make some concessions now, as I assume you will want some sort of visitation.”

“Our,” he corrected quietly, sounding annoyed. “You keep saying ‘your daughter’. She is our daughter.”

There was no mistaking the chill in his voice, or the short, sharpness in each word he spoke. Exhaustion tugged at me, and I just didn’t have it in me to continue this conversation with him, that was bound to turn into a fight. It had been a long, demanding day, both physically and mentally.

“I think it best if Julianna stays in the nursery tonight,” I leaned back against the pillows. “I’m exhausted and need to get some sleep. There’s no need for you to spend the night here.”

“That’s not happening,” he settled himself more comfortably in the padded rocker, arms crossed defiantly over his broad chest, stretching the material of his uniform shirt until the shoulder seams looked like the threads might start popping.

“We don’t–” my protest died on my lips as he pointed a finger at me, his razor-sharp gaze cutting me like it was a physical thing.

“Do not say one more word. I’m staying. That is the end of this conversation, Wyatt. I will take care of feeding and changing our daughter, and you’ll still be able to be close to her. If you’re awake and want to cuddle her, you can. The rest of whatever we need to work out can be worked out later, once I get you both home tomorrow. And yes, I’m taking you home when you’re released. Regardless of if we are together or not, she is my child, and I have a responsibility in making sure she is taken care of. That both of you are taken care of.”

Rubbing a hand against my temples, I closed my eyes, feeling drained. “I don’t have the energy to fight with you.”

“Then don’t.” The chair creaked as he adjusted his bulk in it. “Easy solution.”

He flicked the light switch by him, and the room was swallowed up by darkness. The only glow came from a nightlight in the corner, and the light from the outside hallway that seeped under the door. “Just get some rest, Wyatt. All the other stuff can wait.”

Eyes closing, I finally allowed myself to relax enough to drift off. Julianna was healthy and safe, her soft little snuffles filling the room every few minutes. I hadn’t let myself rest, not properly, since my water broke that morning. Grayson was right; all the other stuff could be dealt with when Julianna and I got home.

“Her crib’s not put together,” I mumbled, slipping into a dream where soft lips placed a kiss on my head and a large, calloused hand caressed through my matted, tangled curls.

“Shh, sleep,” the deep voice whispered, slipping into my subconscious. “You don’t need to worry about a thing. I’ve got you.”