12. Stella

Chapter 12

Stella

O ne month later…

This pregnancy is making me horny.

Not only do I wake up each morning to throw up—and need a nap each afternoon—but my nipples are very, very sensitive and I feel like I'm on fire, needing an orgasm.

Rake was right, I need relief.

I've started masturbating in the cleansing unit every single morning, but that's not even enough. I'm still left feeling empty, like I needed to be filled up and left with a few scrapes of fang in the process.

My stomach is a bit larger and more firm now and I've definitely started to wear pants or dresses that allow room for the thicker belly.

I check the Hyrrokin calendar on my tablet again, noting that I have three more diurnals until I need to return home or stay on Tarvos for good. Rake is being very patient, not acting like this is an emergency. But Erid told me many times if I didn't walk to the courthouse and make this whole thing legal he would have to do his job and pick me up and take me to the transporter station on the appointed day. And I'm certain Erid will do exactly as he threatens.

It's just such a big decision. Do I want to live here forever? Of course I love it here now and I'm having a great time playing house with Rake, learning all about his ranch and befriending his friends and family whom I like too, but will I love it here ten years from now? Because if I hate it then, too bad, I'm locked into being here forever.

I'm totally falling in love with Rake Flagstone.

I'm definitely the only woman who has ever been in this house. He really did build it mainly by himself and he's never had a pleasure mate here. I'm the only one.

I don't know why, but this is important to me. Yes, I've had a few not so serious boyfriends in college and the most recent one-night stand, but I've never been with anyone who I wanted to be long-term, let alone marry. I always assumed that when I did make that giant leap and get married someday, that would be the man I was ready to commit to for the rest of my life.

And his mother, Gryce, told me that while it's true Rake has had many pleasure mates in the past, it's been a long time since he's been with anyone. It sounds like there was a past girlfriend who everyone thought might be the one but then they broke up and she took another bound.

Gryce, Mica and Lucy all say they are shocked at how he treats me. They've never seen him like this, so talkative and protective. Which is good to hear. It makes me feel special.

Each morning Rake patiently helps me when I throw up in the toilet. He takes me to my med lab checkups and makes sure I take a nap.

And he still offers to help me out with my need.

Each night and morning, when we're in bed together I'm afforded a sight of his tented erection and those amazing lips and chest. I haven't kissed him again, because I'm certain it will lead to more in two seconds flat. If I supposedly can't decide on whether to stay or not, then I shouldn't be making out with him and leading him on. Or leading myself on. I still haven't fully furnished the house. I haven't even started a nursery next door because…what if instead I'll be going back home to New Earth and I need to set up a nursery there?

It's crazy how I can't decide. I've been here for thirty days and this man treats me better than any best friend or lover I've ever had in my life. I know his whole family. He's shared his business with me and his home. One day he even sat me down and showed me all his currency accounts. Nothing about him is hidden from me. There are no red flags.

And still I refrain.

I vid message my mother each day.

She still wants me to come and live with her. All my things were delivered and are stored in my old room.

"I still cannot believe that they were able to legally punish you for being pregnant out of wedlock and have the ability to send you to some place across the four sectors. Can't we sue them?"

"I know. And no, we can't sue them. But that's exactly why I was protesting because the laws that they have are antiquated and misogynistic."

"Well, what about Tarvos?" she questions. "You are testing it out and seem to really like that terrible-looking man you're living with. Are you sure where you're at now isn't the same as that ridiculous community? They say you have to be married for forever on Tarvos? What's up with that?"

"I know it seems crazy, but I think it isn't a patriarchal thing. If we were to marry, he would be physically locked to me for life and then there is no one else for him."

"Wait a second," she said. "So if you marry him, he can never cheat on you?"

"Yeah, he'll never cheat on me."

"Oh, I like this better."

"His mother Gryce, was wondering if it would be okay if she could get in contact with you."

"I would love that."

I pass along the contact information and I swear now it seems like our mothers are becoming great friends. Recently, my mom seems to think that me being here is perfectly fine. And she is looking forward to making a trip. My mom works full time with a busy career, but she plans on being here for the first two weeks after the baby is born.

The baby is going to be born during rainy season, which sounds scary. Everyone here acts like that's no big deal. It happens often. Hyrrokin women go into rainy season pregnant and the rains end and they come out holding an healthy infant.

They can do it. I can do it too.

And I am very pleased with everything about this life. It's just that I don't know where I fit in around here. I was a teacher and what do I do now? It's so strange, giving up my career. I guess I'm going to be a stay at home mother? I would love to help out at the ranch, but I don't know how to do much of anything.

Mica fits in great because of her business acumen. She has taken over as sort of the accountant, the business manager for the ranch, and she does an amazing job and has even found ways to make them more money. She does that and she takes care of Locus when Thorn works. She says she loves working from home and being self-employed.

And then Lucy has a whole career where she runs a website which I've totally heard of and I can't believe this celebrity lives nearby. She can work remotely or take the transporter back to New Earth for business meetings. Cats are becoming popular on Tarvos and the Hyrrokin think that cats are darling. They're just these little fierce, beautiful creatures.

I meet with Lucy often. Driving the utility vehicle all by myself to her domicile is one of my greatest joys. Rake threatens that I can only do this for a short while longer because he doesn't like the idea of me being alone on the road if something were to happen. He's got a point. But for now, I take in the wilderness and the weather, all by myself, proud that I can do this one thing on my own.

"You could still be a teacher," Lucy tells me, as we tend to her cats together.

I blink with surprise. "That doesn't sound possible. I don't have the proper credentials for Tarvos. Plus, I live way out here and not in one of the cities."

"I bet we'll all be able to think of something."

I shrug, trying not to get excited over something that won't happen.

There's no one to teach because I don't know anything about Hyrrokin and there isn't an intergalactic school. And even if there was it wouldn't be out here in the country. There might be one in the biggest city, but I doubt it because Tarvos is far off the shipping lanes. And they also are scary. Other beings don't come here to vacation. Other species only arrive for short-term jobs and then leave. It's a dilemma.

"What do you want for breakfast?" I ask Rake Flagstone the next morning.

"Pancakes."

We're in the kitchen together. He's already been out at dawn, riding out to a distant pasture and herding cattle. After we eat, he'll go back out and I'll go with him this time, into the barn because he's going to start training me on how to mount a riding beast, which sounds wonderful.

For some reason, I suddenly feel grouchy. Why is this guy so perfect? Is he playing me and after I walk with him to the courthouse he'll act like his true, terrible self and then I'll be stuck.

It happens. I've listened to true crimes stories that have that exact plot.

Coco and Boots happily race around the floor of the kitchen. Both of my babies are bigger now and look fat and sassy. They've been fed and this is their favorite time of day to cause trouble.

"This is so amazing that you have kittens." I give him a sharp glance. "Did you do this on purpose?"

"On purpose? What purpose would these tiny beasts serve?" Rake keeps eating but reaches out and pets the head of a nearby kitten.

"It helps that you have cats and you like cats. How can I dislike someone who has a cat? Fellow cat lovers are sort of instant friends."

He lets out a grunt of approval.

"I went to university and they didn't allow pets in the dorms. I was hired and teaching and considered myself too busy to give a pet my time or attention. I still cannot believe I've traveled across the four sectors so far and you have a cat…a pet that only comes from the original planet of my species or on New Earth, where the formerly enslaved humans now prosper."

He nods in agreement. "It will also be good when our son arrives, for him to have these tiny beasts nearby. Bonding with an animal makes a being happier and more at peace."

I take a sip of my coffee, hiding a smile.

I knew he was ready to take on my baby as his, but not this ready.

He keeps doing things I never expected any man to do. I've literally never met a man who would stand up for me in this way. My own father left us when I was a small child and I've never seen him again. I don't have any brothers, uncles or male cousins. There have been some upstanding men in my life—professors and teachers, community leaders and first responders. But to be truthful they are few and far between. I haven't met a guy who I could handle me exactly the way I am –outspoken, loud, proud and overweight. I'm always too much for most men.

But this one might be different.

For instance, this morning he's genuinely listening to me as I fret again about leaving my students behind mid-year. "My brain keeps telling me that I need to be there and I feel terrible that I left them behind. We were in the midst of a huge project and I just…left. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye or even go in and close my classroom.

I haven't messaged anyone from where I used to live. The whole thing is tragic. I feel embarrassed about how everything must have gone down and I feel so bad. I feel guilty. I still think about my students. It's only been a month and I still think of where we would be in the lesson plan and how again, I didn't finish the year with them. I continue to get this sinking feeling about it in the pit of my stomach."

"You know what you need?" Rake tells me as I complain about this again. He wipes at his face with a napkin and pushes aside his clean plate. "You need closure."

"Closure?" I question the big, satanic-looking male with a barbed tail flicking in the air behind him. "You know about closure between two beings?"

"Yes, it is a Hyrrokin term that means two beings can finally move on after a verbal dispute."

"No, it's a human term that means what you said, but it was invented by my species."

He snorts and gives me a questioning glance. "If you want to believe that…but the fact remains that you need closure to let go of your anxiety over the way you left that position. You were not able to say goodbye. You need to communicate with whomever you had the best rapport at your former workplace."

"Julia? My best friend at the school? Do you think she would talk to me?"

"Yes, if she was truly your friend, she will accept your message. Talk to that human first. Tell her the things you've told me many times about how you wish you could have ended the year and that you feel terrible because you've never gotten to say goodbye to the students or to any of your coworkers because you had to leave so quickly. If I were in your situation and that happened here at the ranch and I suddenly was yanked out and put on another planet and I never got to say goodbye to anyone here, that would be unsettling. The Hyrrokin I work with here at the ranch and here in town and all of my animals, my beasts would be like your students. They all depend upon me. They were expecting me to be here through their lifespans. And then suddenly I'm gone. It would be difficult to carry on, knowing you'd left behind beings who had depended upon you."

I look at him with my mouth open. "I can't believe how reasonable you are. You're a good person to talk to. Do you know that the others keep telling me you never talk this much?"

"It is true. I don't ever talk this much."

I laugh. "Well, I feel very blessed that you like to talk sometimes because you have good things to say."

"You know, just to you," he says. "I only talk to you like this."

"You like talking to me? Are you sure? Most people think I'm loud and pushy and wish I'd lower my voice and talk less."

"I feel more comfortable talking to you than anyone I've ever met."

"Including your brothers and your mother?"

Rake stands, and rolls back his muscular shoulders, looking ready for work. "Maybe with my brothers I felt comfortable, especially if I've had some fire ale and it's late at night, but I can talk to you like that at any time and it's because you're my bound. I trust you. You're not just a pleasure mate. You are indeed my bound."

Somehow, he looks sexier than ever before. I've been gazing every single day and night at his silver belt buckle. His dark brown work pants are clean, but I know they will soon be dirty. I love watching him leap up onto his favorite riding beast. He sits a saddle better than any of the others and his barbed tail wraps down his thigh.

It's been difficult, living and sleeping beside this sexy beast, who gets sexier with each passing day. He walks into a room and I get that swooping feeling in my belly. And I lie next to him at night, in his massive arms, with his thick erection prodding me in the stomach. But he won't touch me unless I specifically request and…I want him, but I also want my freedom. Maybe all these years the reason why I only had one-night stands, make out sessions and no real boyfriends was because of my wild nature that doesn't want to have anyone tell me what to do? Touch me for a bit and a fun night and maybe a few dates and then…bye-bye.

But with Rake Flagstone it's different. I like spending all my free time with him in this house. I want to talk with him and do nice things for him.

Rake is a partner, not a boss.

And now that I realize he's a true friend, I want him even more than ever before and I've been wanting him bad. I put down my coffee cup and take a step closer. I've been wearing loose sundresses lately and maybe this isn't just because I needed more room for a thickening belly, but also because I require easy access. "I want you to know that every day, this whole last month my need for release has been getting worse and worse and worse because I'm four months pregnant now."

His voice deepens. "I know, I can scent your constant arousal."

I bite my lip. "Do you think that you could help me with that?"

He leans forward and inhales my scent which causes his tail to flick in the air again. "Right here? Or do you want to go upstairs?"

I look around. It's early in the morning and I glance out the big, sunlit windows. It doesn't look like there's anyone out there and we're so far away. No one can see inside.

Rake turns so that his back is to the windows, and from the angle that he's standing, his giant body blocks anyone's view. He leans close. "If any Hyrrokin were outside, they can't see you. This would only be for me. Tell me again," he says. "What do you want?"

I blow out a breath. "I am having…I need you to touch me down there and bring me relief. I need you to make me come."

"You need an orgasm?"

"Yes."

"If I put my hands down your pants and into your panties and touch you in your wet heat between your legs, I can find your pleasure spot."

"Please," I say, with a pleading tremble in my voice. "Please do all of that."

"Tell me again exactly what you want me to do. And I'll do it directly."

I point. "Put your hands right there. Put your hand there."

His hand is on my swollen stomach, but over the fabric of my dress. I love this. Now I'll want him touching my belly more often.

He buries his nose in my hair. "Do you want me to tell you what to do too?"

"Yes, please."

"Open your legs slightly."

I do what he asks.

And his other hand slides down my hip and he pulls up my skirt and puts his hands in my stretchy panties. Down there. He finds my clit and gives it a brush and I sigh.

"I'm going to lift you and place you on the counter. Is that all right? Because then I can have easier access and you don't have to worry about standing and I will still block you so that no one can see."

"That sounds like a great idea."

He removes his hands from under my clothes and lifts me up and places me on the counter. I splay my legs wide.

"Can I pull down the top of your dress and see your breasts and touch them too? Your nipples look hard. I can see them through your clothing."

"Yes. I touch myself there when I'm in the cleansing unit."

"I heard you cry out this morning," he confirms.

My cheeks feel hot. "You did? You know what I've been doing in there?"

"Yes. Because I've been doing the same."

"You have?"

"You didn't hear me shout my release? I do this every morning in the cleansing unit."

"This morning?"

"Yes, this is how I'm able to remain reasonable right now and not tear your clothes off."

I grin.

"Tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to take down my top. And then I want you to pinch on my nipples and suck on them and make me come just from that first. I swear I'm so sensitive I think it's possible."

"I will."

And then he really does do exactly as I ask. He pulls down my blue top. My heavy breasts bounce free, with sensitive nipples that lately turning from a light pink begging for his touch.

He gazes, as if this is a treasure he's been waiting to open. "They're beautiful."

Rake bends down and sucks on one breast and I am happy that I'm on the table because I swoon with delight. Watching this satanic-looking male, with his fangs and red hands grasp and suck on my delicate skin so firm and tender is basically the most erotic moment of my life. Then he uses a hand to pinch the other nipple and he's working on them both at the same time.

I grab onto his two black horns and hold on as the pleasure is so sharp and sudden, rushing through my body and pooling between my thighs. "Oh, oh," I gasp.

He continues, sucking on one and pinching the other.

And soon I'm coming so hard I cry out.

Rake licks my neck.

"Kiss me please, please kiss me."

He captures my lips and we're kissing again and it's epic. This time Rake takes the lead and swoops his forked tongue inside my mouth. He tastes so good.

I break free and beg for more. "Touch me down there. I need to come again. From your touch."

He does exactly as I ask.

I pull his lips against mine again and his fingers find my wetness between my things. Then he finds my clit and I sigh with delight. He uses a masterful stroke right where I need him and he doesn't stop.

And I end up having another huge orgasm and I hold him tight as I cry out against his lips. There's a rush of liquid and I can't help but wish for more.

He's hard and could take his erection out and shove it in me right now. I would love knowing how that thick shaft looks and feels in and out of me right now. I've only seen the outline under his pajama pants this whole time.

But for some reason I'm still not ready for this next level, which again, I know is nutty considering I literally had a one-night stand. And it wasn't the only one. But there's something about this that's different. When we take it that far I want it to be special. And I want it to be special for him. I want to wait for that because I want that moment to solidify forever between us.

I know I'm treating him differently, but in a way it's because he's not like the others. It's because he means more to me. As a matter of fact, I think I might be because…because I'm maybe falling in love with Rake Flagstone and I have a feeling he loves me too even though neither of us have said the words.

He kisses my neck and removes his hand gently from my panties.

But I can't leave him hanging high and dry. I feel evil. "I want you to come on my breasts."

He lets out a grunt and groan of desire.

"Show me," I say.

He lets me undo the buckle. Rake pulls down his pants. And then I get to see it. It's beautiful. The skin is as red as the rest of him and he's thicker than any man I've ever met. And there's come leaking from the tip. Oh, it would be so easy for him to pull my pants down too and slide inside. I'm so wet. But I'm going to wait. I must wait.

I lick my lips. "Touch yourself," I order. "So I can see what you do when you pleasure yourself. I need to learn what you like."

He gives himself a few rough strokes and I watch like this is college credit. Then

I reach out and he allows me to place my hand around the girth. He's so thick my fingers can't touch.

"Tell me how you like it," I say. "You direct me."

He holds my shoulders as I use my hand and arm to jerk him off exactly as he describes. "Next time, I want to use my mouth and swallow all of you."

"I'm going to come." His red shaft throbs in my hand and I move forward and make sure he's on my breasts as he comes. There's so much and I love watching it shoot out, warm on my skin.

I dip a finger into the wet seed he's left on my nipple. I reach up and lick it. "It tastes good."

He pulls up his pants. "One moment." Soon he's wiping me with a warm, wet towel.

I let out a sigh of happiness.

It's time to boldly go forth. No more being scared of this man's touch, because now I know I'll want this forever. But there's always one more question. "Are you worried that because I had a one-night stand and I don't know where the father of my baby is, that I won't be the type who can commit?"

"This is of no concern to me."

I remain seated on the counter and he moves close again. "Well, I want you to know that just because that happened it doesn't mean I can't commit. It's sort of like if one of those pleasure mates of yours from the past had become accidentally pregnant. That would have been shocking to you, right? I'm sure you thought that you'd done everything to make sure that wouldn't happen, because you knew those females weren't your lifelong mate. Well, I thought I'd done the same, but it turned out my birth control had expired. Yes, it's weird that you and I have met right when I'm accidentally pregnant with another man's child. I really, really understand the weirdness. And of course, I wish on some level that this baby was yours, or that we'd met before all of this and I could come to you with no baggage. But it didn't happen that way and…and I really appreciate how you have taken on this baby with no questions asked. You just decided he's yours."

"He is mine. And you're mine too."

I take Rake's rough hand in mine. "I can commit as well as any Hyrrokin."

His gaze darkens. "I believe you can."

"Rake?"

"Yes?"

"Will you walk with me to the courthouse tomorrow and become my husband?"

He cups my face and give me a gentle kiss. "Yes, Stella, I would be honored to become your bound."