9. Blaze

"So you're a uasal?" I asked.

Alfie had bought me two oil lamps and another load of food, not to mention one of the most comfortable little armchairs that I'd ever sat in. He'd struggled down from the castle carrying it alone and I couldn't believe he'd managed to get out of the castle with it without anyone noticing, but he insisted that he had.

We were both sitting up at the table right then, though, because I didn't like sitting in the armchair when he was on one of the wooden chairs. That didn't seem fair.

"Yes, that's right. We're one of the oldest dragon clans in the world. The Somervilles can trace their lineage back through pure uasal bloodlines further than anyone else, too. Father's very proud of that. I suppose it must be useful because we're a very powerful clan. Lord Somerville is the strongest dragon I know and I know I've not met many other people than my clan but we're all dragons and we have a lot of power but Lord Somerville radiates it more than anyone. He's got more power even than Great Aunt Evangeline and she's older than anyone."

"Do dragons get more powerful as they age?"

"Yes, but I'm not sure whether that's getting more powerful or whether they're learning more. Morgan has a theory that they can just control their magic better. I'm not sure about that, though, because Glimmer's really young and he has some of the strongest magic in the clan."

I loved to hear Alfie talking about his clan. His face lit up when he did it, and I didn't think he even realised that his voice changed, too. It became warmer, richer, and had something lurking in the depths that I couldn't identify yet.

It was clear he admired Glimmer very much, so I asked about him, partly to give Alfie a chance to talk about him and partly so I'd get to see that look of admiration for longer.

"Is Glimmer the one who makes the borders?"

"Um, yes? No. Maybe. Um, I don't really know. I can't see magic very well."

Alfie looked down and fiddled with his cuff, and I didn't like it. He seemed embarrassed and something in me burned with hot discomfort at the realisation.

"Not everyone can see magic," I pointed out.

"I can see it a bit! Just not very much. Morgan had a tutor for a while but he found it hard to get much magic out of his dragon. I wanted to have a go, too, but Father wouldn't allow it. He said I wasn't ready to shift yet."

"Didn't you say you were nineteen?" I asked.

"Yes. So?"

"So I thought most shifters learned to shift in their teens."

I realised my mistake a second after I'd spoken. Alfie's face fell and I cursed myself, feeling the heat in my belly intensify.

"Oh, um, I guess I'm a late developer," he mumbled.

"That's okay. You're still young. There's loads of time for you to learn to shift."

"Mmm, I suppose."

"Do you think Morgan would show you how to do it?"

As I suggested that, I resisted the urge to ask who Morgan was. I really, really wanted to know, though. Most likely he was related to Alfie, since they were in the same clan. But something inside me just wanted to check because there was an affection in his voice that made my skin prickle as I heard it.

Alfie said, "No, he can't. He's away."

Now, I might only have known Alfie for two days but already I could tell that something was wrong. He was a talker and, surprisingly, I actually liked that. He was fun and interesting and enthusiastic and I got swept away when he spoke.

I did not like the sudden awkward answers he was giving me.

If Alfie stopped blurting out all the words in the world, that meant there was something wrong.

Pulling my chair closer, I said, "You could try shifting now. I could tell you how I do it."

"Would you?"

"Yes, of course. I just… wish myself into flame. It feels very natural. My fire form protects me."

"Oh."

I realised I hadn't been all that helpful because Alfie's shoulders slumped. I reached out a hand and tentatively touched one of them. Alfie looked me in the eyes and I felt that burning inside me again, only this time it was a nice feeling.

"Do you want to try?" I asked. "I'll be here with you."

"Okay, I'll try."

We sat there and it didn't look like anything happened. Eventually, I asked, "Can you feel your dragon coming out?"

"I can't feel it at all."

"You should be able to feel it at your core. Dragons can feel their dragon inside them, the way I can feel my wick at my centre. It's the very core of me."

"I'm not sure I have a core."

I waited a while longer while Alfie frowned with concentration and his brow became shiny with sweat. Then I leapt up with alarm and cried, "You're bleeding!"

Alfie looked startled, then lifted his sleeve to his nose and wiped it where the blood had begun to drip.

"That never happened before," he said. "Maybe I burst a blood vessel."

"I think we should stop for today."

I didn't mention it, but I didn't plan to start again, either. It had only been a few drips of blood but the sight of it had made my wick scorch with fearful heat.

"Maybe I'm not ready to shift. Thank you for trying, though. Nobody else has even tried to help me."

"Why not?" I demanded. That heat inside me was unsettling me, making me feel like fire even though I was in my human form.

"Maybe they know I can't do it."

"But Morgan couldn't do it, either, until he got a tutor, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"So maybe once you get a tutor, you'll shift. Why doesn't Morgan's tutor help you?"

"No, he left ages ago."

"Why doesn't the elder hire a tutor for you?"

"Um, I don't know. Maybe they're expensive."

Sparks of anger burst from my fingers as I demanded, "Are you not worth the expense?"

Suddenly Alfie leapt up and began to stamp on the floorboards around me.

His voice was panicky. "Watch out, you're burning the floor. And the ceiling. Are you alright? You're not hurt? Fire can't hurt you, can it? That was silly; of course fire can't hurt you. I didn't mean to panic. I mean, I wasn't panicking. I was just… surprised. That's it, I was surprised. You can burn things if you want to. Although maybe don't burn the den down because then you won't be able to stay here because it will be too cold."

I was so relieved to hear him babbling that all my anger fizzled out of me. I so rarely got angry but it blew over quickly. I was always sorry about it afterwards.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I said.

Alfie was stamping on the floorboards and patting out the first smouldering hint of fire that had taken hold of the ceiling.

"That's okay," he said as he patted. "I like that you're angry about me. I mean, that you care. It means we're really friends, aren't we?"

As I looked into Alfie's eyes, those beautiful silver eyes that seemed to shine with lustre like they'd been polished, I realised two things.

The first was that I did not want us to be friends. I wanted us to be more than friends.

The second was that I absolutely couldn't tell Alfie that. He was so damned innocent, and he'd probably run screaming if I suggested it. Besides, we were practically strangers. I'd never felt this intense desire for someone before, and it frightened me a little. More than I wanted to move towards him, be held by him, taste those lips at last, I was frightened of losing him. Alfie was the one person I knew. He was my only friend in the world. I couldn't do anything that would frighten him away.

No, I'd keep my sudden desire to myself and take the friendship that was offered.

It would be enough.

"Yes, we're friends."

"Best friends?" he asked, and he sounded so hopeful that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Absolute best friends," I assured him.