13. Blaze

Alfie was already talking as he entered the den, and my entire being seemed to relax at the sound of it.

"It's been days and they're still not letting me out of the castle, you know. I had to sneak out and I was almost caught but I managed to get out of the door just in time. I was worried that you wouldn't have enough food but I couldn't think of a way of getting any to you without asking someone for help. I thought about asking one of the servants but they work for Lord Somerville and their first loyalty is to him. They'd have to tell him."

I stood up and went over to him, and then realised that I didn't have a reason to do that. I'd just gone over to be nearer to him instinctively.

I looked up at him and tried to think of something sensible to say.

In the end, I went for, "Are you fully healed?"

"Yes, Glenwise got the bullet out and I'm fine now."

Frowning, I asked, "Didn't that hurt?"

Alfie squirmed.

"It did a bit, but it's okay because it's all over now. I feel fine. Glenwise is a really good medic. He was away for ages doing his training. They did ask a lot of questions, though, and I had to tell them that I was going to the woods because that might be important for clan safety, but I didn't mention you or the den. Nobody's come out here, have they?"

"The Guardian flew around a few times but I got the impression he was focused on the boundary, not the woods."

"That's good."

Alfie looked at me expectantly and I realised I was standing in front of him, blocking his way.

"Ah, yes, do you want to sit down? I was just checking you were healed."

I felt my face heat up but it wasn't the usual sensation of fire and flame, it was embarrassment.

Alfie smiled at me. "I'm healed, I promise. You can check my arm if you like."

Even though I knew I should trust him and his clan medic, I couldn't stop myself from saying, "Yes please."

I just needed to see it myself. I needed to be sure that he was unharmed because I'd been so unsettled for days that a hand-wave and a casual ‘I'm fine' weren't going to cut it. I needed to be sure.

Alfie grinned at me and stripped his jumper off, and then his shirt. I hadn't actually thought about what he'd need to do to expose that arm to me but, when I realised, I felt a rush of embarrassment (again) and an equal amount of desire. Alfie was simply the most beautiful being I'd ever seen in my life.

With his shirt off, I could see his pale skin, white like marble. He was lean and slender, and it was clear that he didn't work out to build muscle but he had an athleticism to his body that I'd bet came from hours of running and building things like this den.

His chest was smooth and hairless and I could just see the start of a blonde happy trail below his belly button. I also couldn't help but notice that his stomach was flat and toned. I wanted to touch it to see if his skin was as soft and smooth as it looked.

Instead, I forced my eyes away from all that skin and focused on his arm.

There wasn't even a mark on him. No wound, no scab, no new red skin, not even a scar. His medic really was good.

I gave a little prayer of thanks for his dragon healing, too.

When I looked up to meet Alfie's eyes, they were fixed on my face and there was an intense expression in them that made me freeze in place.

"Were you really worried about me?"

"Yes."

"I'm all better now."

"Yes, I can see that. At least you weren't relying on me to fix your arm. I'm not very good at that sort of thing."

"I'm sure you'd have done it perfectly."

He said it with such confidence that I felt myself blush again, only this time it wasn't really embarrassment.

Clearing my throat, I said, "Is there anything you need? Can I do anything to help?"

He reached for my hand and took it in his own. I stared down at our joined fingers.

"Is this helping?" I asked.

"Oh, um, yes. Yes, it is. It's… medicinal. It's to… help my arm."

I tried not to snigger at my friend. He wasn't very subtle. And it made me almost sure that he was starting to feel as strongly about me as I was about him.

We moved further into the room and sat together on the wooden chairs, side by side. I was hungry but I wasn't really willing to break our contact in order to eat. That must have been a first for me. To want something else more than sustenance.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say.

"So you're still not meant to be outside?"

"No, Mother says I'm not allowed out until they catch whoever did it."

"Do you think they will?"

He shrugged and it pulled our joined hands up with the movement. I liked the feeling of it.

"I don't know. It must be hard to catch someone outside our borders if we're always inside them. But dragons need to stay inside to keep safe. That's what Father told me."

"Your mother isn't convinced that you're safe even inside? What if you promised to stay away from the edges?"

Alfie looked over at me and his silver eyes were crystal clear and open.

"Mother worries about me a lot. And Morgan. She worries about him, too, especially because he's away. She didn't want him to go but Father sent him anyway."

Finally I gave in, and was pleased that here was a perfect opportunity to find out about Morgan without sounding jealous.

"Is Morgan your… cousin?"

"He's my brother! I told you that, didn't I? I'm always talking about him."

Alfie sounded surprised, and I had to admit, "You do talk about him." I didn't want to mention the admiration I could hear in his voice when he did. "But you never actually said he was your brother."

"Oh. Well, he is. My brother, I mean. You'd like him. He was sent away, though. Father wanted him to learn to fight."

"What about Morgan? Did he want to go?"

"No, not really. Maybe he might have wanted to go if someone was going with him, but he was scared to go to a curaidh's castle all alone. I asked if we could go together but Mother went so white and her bonds drew so tight that I thought they might snap. She was petrified of us both going, so I didn't push it."

There was a lot of information in just that one little answer, and I tried to file it all away. Alfie spoke of bonds as though that was something I should know about, and I was going to have to ask him about it. That wasn't the most important question, though. Right now, Alfie seemed concerned that Morgan was out there all alone.

"But nobody else went with him? Couldn't one of your cousins have gone?"

"I don't know. Father never mentioned it. He only wanted Morgan to go."

I couldn't help the tartness that crept into my voice as I asked, "Does your father always do what he wants, even if his clan doesn't like it?"

"He's our elder."

"So?"

"So he's in charge! He protects us. He has to keep everybody safe and it's a great responsibility. He's got to maintain all the protections around the borders."

"I don't think he does that. I didn't feel any of his spells there until yesterday."

Even if they had been there, they'd obviously not kept me out. Or that bullet. I'd only felt very old spells and the ones I could now identify as coming from Glimmer, the Guardian. He'd layered them up and up over the past two days, building a boundary so thick that it was practically a fortress. I hadn't gone too far away from the woods, so I didn't know how far these protections stretched. I doubted they covered the whole, vast territory. It would take one dragon weeks to cover that much ground and the spells would need to be constantly refreshed. I doubted that Lord Somerville had added any serious protections to the borders for a long time.

Alfie, though, wasn't so sure. He suggested, "Maybe they were invisible?"

"Perhaps."

Alfie fidgeted and his movements tugged on our joined hands. He still hadn't let me go. Actually, that made me feel better and I wasn't so bitter about anything while I was sitting there with the sweetest, kindest person alive. I tried to change the subject so that we wouldn't argue.

"Tell me about the bonds your mother has. They sound interesting."

From the relief in Alfie's voice, I'd say he was just as keen to make sure we didn't argue about his elder. I knew that I was probably never going to agree with him, but I also knew that dragons felt a deep loyalty to their clan and their elder on a visceral, primal level and it meant that Alfie probably wouldn't agree with me, either. I was keen to avoid that particular argument.

"It was only the ones with me and Morgan that went funny at the thought of us both leaving. They sort of clenched as though she were trying to hold us tighter to her. I think it's got to do with my older brother."

As he said ‘clenched', he gripped my hand tighter to illustrate what he meant.

"It's about Morgan?"

"No, not Morgan. My other older brother. Lord Somerville's first-born son."

"You've never mentioned another brother."

Alfie shrugged. "I never met him. He died before Morgan was born. I don't think he was that old. Probably only around my age."

"How did he die?"

"I have no idea. Nobody will tell me. They don't like to talk about Alexander at all. Sometimes it's as though he's a big secret that they're scared people will find out about. I always get the impression that everyone's thinking about him all the time, but nobody will say his name. I think he did something."

"What?"

I had to admit, I was curious despite myself.

"I don't know. I don't think it could be bad, though, because the bond he had with Mother was just like the one she has with me and Morgan."

"How do you know?"

"Because it's there. I can see it. It's the only broken bond I can see. Everyone who met him has one, actually, and that's really unusual. Normally, people only form bonds with people they care about or feel responsible for."

"So everyone loved Alexander?"

"Maybe. The bonds don't feel… affectionate, though. More like the bond Father has with everybody. Maybe Alexander had a bond with the whole clan because he was meant to inherit the title from Father, one day. Then he'd have been the Somerville elder and he'd have been responsible for us all."

"What does that have to do with the bond you and your mother have?"

"It's the same one she has for all her sons. She loves us. Only, she lost one of us, and it's made her scared to lose the rest of us as well. She'll be relieved when Morgan finally gets home."

"I thought you said Lord Somerville wanted him to train to fight."

"I did. He does. It's just that now there's a threat out there, Mother wants him back here where we can all protect him. It's a shame that he's going to have to leave the Hoskins clan, though, because he fancies—"

Alfie cut himself off and slapped his other hand against his mouth. From behind his palm, he mumbled, "I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay," I assured him. "You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. Who else would I tell, anyway?"

"I didn't mean to give away his secret."

Alfie was still mumbling from behind his hand and I prised it away from his mouth so I could hear him properly. It meant that I found myself holding both of his hands.

Instead of letting go, Alfie tightened his grip and we sat there like that as we continued to talk.

He told me all about his brother and the instructor that Morgan liked. He told me tales of curaidh clans and even told me the history of his own clan.

I was so enthralled that I didn't even notice it getting late. Only when Alfie suddenly jumped up and looked around him in shock did I realise that it had grown dark.

"Mother's worried about me. I think she's realised I'm missing. I have to get back to the castle before she realises I've left."

I was disappointed but I tried not to show it. The trouble was, I was always disappointed when Alfie had to leave. I watched him until he was out of sight and then I looked around the little hut. It looked so bare without Alfie in it.

And it was cold, too. I got goosebumps and my skin prickled with vulnerability. I hadn't noticed that feeling had gone until it crept back over me now I was alone again. Why didn't I feel scared like this when Alfie was here?