16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Bennett

Waking up in my bed alone wasn't how I pictured starting off the morning after the incredible night Shay and I had shared. An unease ran through me that I hadn't felt the night before, wrapped in Shay's arms. He had knotted me three more times before the heat inside me had subsided, and we'd both nearly passed out from exhaustion and orgasms.

Rolling over, Shay's side of the bed was cold, telling me he had been up for a while. Early morning sunlight was just starting to fill the room, and glancing at my alarm clock, I saw it wasn't even seven yet. Which meant he had slept very little, since it had been after three when we had succumbed to sleep.

The unease I had felt upon waking shivered through me, knotting my stomach. Where was this feeling coming from ?

Mate , my wolf grumbled, and I wondered if he was right. Was what I was feeling coming from Shay? Sure, all the movies depicted being able to feel what your fated mate was feeling, but I had always thought that was made up for entertainment value. Didn't we need to be mated to feel this…bond? And if this weird feeling was coming from Shay, why was he feeling the way he was? Did he have regrets about what we had done?

I really need to see if the library has some books on fated mates. There was so much I didn't know. Why does it feel like my whole life is about to change? And maybe not for the better.

Of course it is, Benny , my wolf grumbled. You've met your fated mate. And sealed the deal. There's no going back now.

Throwing my bare arm over my eyes, I inhaled deeply. The scent of Shay–mixed with me– wafted up from the sheets and my skin, instantly calming my nerves. Had anything ever smelled as good as that alpha did? I didn't think so.

Today Shay would meet with Alex, and tomorrow he and Lucas would no longer be taking up space in my house. Only they hadn't just taken up space in my house. They had taken up space in my heart.

They'll be right next door.

Then why does it feel like something bad is about to happen? Like this is the end and not a beginning?

For once, my wolf was silent, telling me he felt the odd vibes floating in the air, too. Or across some invisible bond I still wasn't sure wasn't just a figment of my overactive imagination. Or wishful thinking.

Even knowing they would be living next door to me didn't make me feel any better. It was too far away. I loved having them here. I had never thought my life was missing anything, until the Pierce men had stumbled into it. Now, I didn't want to let either of them go. Not even to just next door.

Sniffing, the scent of freshly brewed dark roast tickled my nose and got me up. Nothing got me moving as fast as the promise of coffee flowing into my veins. Sliding into a fresh pair of pajama shorts, I winced when I stepped into the leg opening. My muscles let me know I had used them for the first time in too long, and my hole was more than a little tender. Despite the ache, I grinned as I slipped a shirt over my head, remembering what had caused it.

Cracking the door, I made sure to make as little noise as possible, not wanting to wake up Lucas if he was still sleeping. The guest room door was shut tight, telling me the little boy was still asleep.

Shay was standing in front of the glass sliders that looked out into my backyard, his back to me. He was already showered and dressed in clean jeans and a blue T-shirt, but his muscles were tensed beneath the tight material stretched across his back. His expensive looking jeans were dark, fit him to perfection, and displayed his ass like it was a piece of art. My mouth watered at the sight he made standing there, all long, lean muscles and golden hair.

Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I waited to speak until I had it doctored with just the perfect amount of cream and sugar. Clearing my throat, I quietly said, "Good morning."

What did one say after you had spent the night with your fated mate's knot stretching you wide, filling you up and coming more times than you could count on one hand? Especially now that reality was setting in and you knew this story wasn't going to end with a magical glass slipper fitting perfectly?

Good morning seemed a safe place to start .

Shay slowly turned to look at me, unsmiling, but when his blue eyes fell on me there was a warmth there that filled my heart and gave me a sliver of hope that everything was going to turn out okay.

"Good morning." His greeting was low, slightly raspy, and sent a shiver down my spine. He sipped his coffee, his eyes roaming me from head to toe. He had shaved, his face smooth from the sexy bristle that had covered it last night. Shay with the beginnings of a beard was sexy, but a clean-shaven Shay was hot as fuck.

There was no mistaking the tell-tale signs that he had been ill. He was still pale beneath his tan, dark circles edged under his blue eyes. His face was still marked with bruises that had faded but had not disappeared. None of that detracted from the fact that the man was freaking beautiful, and there was more than a passing resemblance to his gorgeous brother.

"How are you? Sore?" He scanned my face for any hint of discomfort.

I gave a half-hearted shrug with one shoulder. "A little. It's a good sore though. Big day for you today."

Talking about my hole made me want to duck my head and blush, so I quickly changed the subject. It wasn't like I was a virgin, but I couldn't remember one alpha I had fucked–granted the list wasn't that long–who had ever asked if I was sore after. It was such an…intimate question. One a lover or mate would ask.

Shay ran a hand through his blond hair, tousling it. "Are you sure you don't mind watching Lucas this morning? I need to see about opening a bank account after my meeting with the lawyer. Pick up a few things Lucas and I need. I'm not sure how long all of this is going to take. I don't want to take advantage of you, Bennett."

"I don't mind at all." Sitting down at the table, I ran a finger over the rim of my coffee mug. "I offered, remember? Take as much time as you need, Shay. I love hanging out with Lucas; he's a great kid."

He smiled at my words. A real smile, that shone all the way to his bright blue eyes. The effect of that smile made my stomach flip inside me. I hadn't been graced with a feeling-halfway-decent Shay Pierce smile before. Holy Goddess, it was breathtaking.

That smile had me squirming in my seat, and I felt the trickle of slick on my backside. Clamping my thighs together tightly, I silently urged my half-mast cock to go down.

"Thank you," Shay told me, as I waged a silent war with my body, telling it to behave. It was just doing whatever the fuck it wanted, dragging me along for the ride.

"I have a few errands to run today." Taking another much-needed sip of my coffee, I nearly sighed in bliss as the caffeine entered my system. "Is it okay if I take him with me? I wanted to make sure first, but we can stay here if you would rather I didn't take him anywhere. I don't have anything to do that can't wait." That we didn't need another grocery store incident went unsaid.

He gazed at me for what felt like forever, staring at me with an expression I couldn't read or understand. Finally, his words soft, he said, "I trust you, Bennett. It's fine if you take Lucas. I'm sure he would enjoy it, actually. And I'll pay you back for anything you spend on him. I'll get an account opened today, and since Asher gave me a cashier's check, they shouldn't hold the funds. "

Hearing him say he trusted me pleased me and had my wolf preening inside. I had a feeling Shay did not trust easily, and I couldn't blame him. It was something I wouldn't take lightly, and I wouldn't break.

Shaking my head at his offer, I sat my cup down. "You don't need to pay me back, Shay. If I choose to spend money on Lucas, it's because I want to. Keep your money for the things you need, and for a security blanket."

He stared down into his own mug, before looking up.

"About last–"

"I don't–"

Our sentences, said at the same time, were interrupted by a quiet knock on my front door. At the sound, Shay got a slightly panicked look on his face, while I just wondered who was knocking so early on a Friday morning.

Standing, I told him, "I'll see who it is."

He looked torn. Like he wanted to protect me from who, or what, was waiting on the other side of the door. Yet slightly relieved that I was the one getting up to answer it.

Catching my hand as I passed him, he silently stopped me. His blue eyes had that shadowed look in them I had seen way too many times the past week. "Check who it is first. Please."

Ignoring the weird energy Shay was giving off, I softly caressed his smooth jaw, rubbing my thumb over his high cheekbone.

"I will," I promised, before he released his hold on me.

Standing on tiptoes to see through the peephole, I turned to Shay. "It's your brother."

Opening the door, Asher stood there, dressed for work in dress pants and a white button up and silk tie .

"Morning," he said by way of greeting, and I moved out of the way so he could enter. Shay had crossed the living room and gave his brother a tentative smile.

"You're out and about early," he commented, his tone light, but he looked unsure as to why Asher was here.

"I'm on my way to work." Asher held out a black box to Shay. "I got you a cell phone. It's on our plan right now, but we can get it switched when you get things figured out. No rush. But you need a way to stay in touch with people, the school when Lucas starts this fall, pretty much everything."

Shay looked stunned as he opened the box and pulled out one of the latest models on the market.

"I figured basic black was good, but that can be switched too." Asher continued, "Or you can just put a case on it. Seth, my nurse, is always changing his phone cases."

I nodded in agreement with Asher's statement. "Like every week. I swear he has more invested in cell phone cases than is healthy. It's a problem."

Shay glanced from me to Asher and back, a confused look on his face.

"Seth is my best friend and Asher's nurse," I explained. "You'll probably meet him sometime."

"Goddess help us all," Asher muttered, though there was a fondness in his tone.

Shay gave me a questioning look and I shrugged. "Seth can be a bit over the top."

"He's a great nurse and I'd be lost without him, so please don't take that the wrong way," Asher assured us. "Anyway, I programmed in some numbers for you. Mine and Gabe's, Alex Ortega's office number, and Bennett's. "

"Thank you, Asher." Shay's voice was quiet as he woke the screen up, but it was locked.

"Oh, yeah, I had to set a pin up," Asher told him. "It's your birthday. I didn't know Lucas's, but you can change it to whatever you want."

"August sixteenth," Shay swallowed hard, "that's his birthday."

"Well, we'll need to mark the calendar and throw him a party." Asher nodded, like it was a done deal, and he was already party planning. "School won't be back in session yet, but we have a whole group of friends who have bunches of kids. He'll make some friends this summer, I'm sure."

Shay seemed at a loss for words, staring at the phone in his hand. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, but it was obvious there was some significant meaning to this thoughtful gift from Asher.

It had to be hard for him to ask for help, and even harder to accept it. His reactions weren't any different than I had seen from countless other domestic violence victims.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" I offered Asher, giving Shay time to collect his thoughts.

"I'm hungry." Lucas announced, shuffling into the room. His dark hair was a mess and standing on end, and he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Seeing his uncle standing there, he offered a little wave as a greeting.

Asher gave him a wave back and a smile. "Thank you, Bennett, but I've already had two cups. I have my travel mug in the car to get me fueled up for the day."

Giving Shay a long look, he lowered his voice, "Call me after you meet with Alex, please. If I don't answer, I'm with a patient, but I'll call you back when I'm free. I want to know what the next steps are."

Shay nodded but didn't answer. Lucas wandered to the dining room table and plopped onto a chair, no doubt waiting for his breakfast. It had become our routine in the last week.

Asher turned to go, then spun back around, snapping his fingers. Shay flinched at the movement, and I frowned, but Asher didn't seem to notice his brother's reaction. "Oh, I almost forgot. Gabe said the cleaners finished at the house, and he stocked some groceries. Sheets are clean on the beds, so you can move in today if you want."

My heart felt like it leaped out of my chest and landed in my throat. They were leaving today. Their leaving tomorrow would be bad enough, but I at least thought Shay and I would have one more night together.

Goddess, Bennett, stop your doom and gloom , my wolf huffed, the man is going to be right next door. You are acting like you're never going to see him again. Please get a fucking grip. I don't like this side of you.

It just feels like this is so…final. Can't you feel it? He's having regrets about last night, I just know it.

Stop being paranoid, my wolf grumbled, but he didn't deny he was feeling something too.

"That's…wonderful news," I chirped, way more cheerfully than I felt.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to get your house back, Bennett," Asher grinned at me. "I'm not sure I can ever properly thank you for what you've done for my family."

Shay's wide eyes searched mine, and I could read all his emotions like I was reading a book. Fear, hope, regret, indecision .

"I would have done it for anyone," I said softly, unable to tear my gaze from Shay's anxious one.

The words were an absolute lie. I would never have done what I had for any random patient in the hospital. Not even one in need. I would assess the situation and find them the resources they needed to help them.

With one touch I had seen what my future could be, and there was no way in hell I wasn't going to make sure my fated and his child were safe. And near me. Yeah, that last part played hugely in my decision-making skills last week.

But I wasn't about to tell Asher that. It was bad enough standing here in my pajamas, wondering if he could tell there was something going on between his brother and me. Could he tell we had had sex? Worse, could he smell it and was too polite to comment? Ew, I didn't want to think about that possibility. I would never be able to look Asher in the eye again.

Lucas dropped his head to the table dramatically, tired of all the grown-up talk going on around him. "I'm starving, Bennett. Can I please have my breakfast?" he whined.

Shay gave his son a sharp look over his shoulder, a frown marring his forehead. "Excuse you, sir, we are guests and Bennett is not your servant."

Asher laughed, but quickly said his good-byes and slipped out the door, happily leaving Shay to deal with his absolutely-not-a-morning-person son.

Lucas frowned back at his dad, and boy, if they didn't have the exact same looks on their faces, I would eat my hat. They might not have the same coloring–other than their eyes–but there was no doubt that Lucas was a Pierce .

"But Bennett always gets my breakfast when I get up, Daddy. He makes the bestest frenchy toast. It's better than Maria's. But don't tell her I said that, because I don't want her to be sad."

This kid. He made my heart swell with his sweetness and kindness, not wanting to hurt Maria's feelings. Oh, he could bring the sass when he put his mind to it, but most of the time he did it with a sparkle in his eye, and I adored him for it. It was a testament to Shay as a father, that despite all that had happened the last week and even before, Lucas felt secure enough to tease.

I'd had the pleasure of spending the past week with him, being his caretaker, and he was such a great kid, quickly and easily becoming one of my favorite people to spend time with. And, yes, a part of me knew I was playing house, making believe that this was my family. That Lucas was my child. That Shay was my alpha. But whenever that nagging voice in my brain would start flashing warning bells, I ignored them. Nananana, I can't hear or see you.

Shay sent him a small, tight smile, and I saw the flash of pain in his eyes at the mention of the woman's name. In an instant it was gone, and he ruffled Lucas's hair, kissing the top of his head. "I promise I won't tell."

Thanks to the many little casual chats Lucas and I had over the past week, I knew who Maria was, along with her husband, Albert. I really wished I could send them a thank you card for helping Shay and Lucas the way they had. Maybe when all this was over with Edward, I would get the chance.

"Aren't you sick of French toast yet?" I teased, though I already had the fridge open, pulling out eggs and milk.

Shay chuckled, "It's his favorite. He'd eat it every breakfast if I let him. "

Nibbling my lip, I decided not to tell him that Lucas had eaten it every day for breakfast the last week.

"Daddy, Bennett warms the syrup up!" Lucas told his dad excitedly. "It's the best thing ever!"

Glancing over at the pair as I cracked eggs into the bowl, Shay's blue eyes were warm on my skin.

"Does he?" Shay's voice was starting to lose the gravelly roughness from his illness, and non-stop coughing. His voice was dark and rich, like smooth bourbon on a cold night, and I felt my cheek's heat under his gaze. "I bet it's delicious."

The words, so close to the ones he had whispered in the dark as he licked my slick from his fingers, caused a shiver of need to run up my spine, and I cracked the egg a bit too hard against the side of the bowl. Scowling, I fished out the pieces of shell that were swimming in the slimy egg pool.

Whisking away, I only half listened to their soft conversation, concentrating on adding milk, cinnamon, nutmeg, and a touch of vanilla.

My ears perked up when I heard Shay tell Lucas, "I have to go to an appointment today. It will probably last a few hours, so Bennett is going to watch you, okay?"

Flipping the first pieces of batter-soaked bread, I saw Lucas shrug from the corner of my eye.

"Bennett has been taking care of me while you were sick, Daddy." His little voice was so self-assured I couldn't help but smile. "We have fun. He plays games with me, and we color. Sometimes we watch movies."

Shay's heated gaze burned me through my clothes. "I'm glad you like him. "

"Don't you like him, Daddy?" The innocent question tugged at my insides. It took everything in me not to peek over my shoulder to see the expression on Shay's face, in his eyes.

You liked me last night, Daddy, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut. Definitely did not need to have to explain that comment to Lucas.

"I like Bennett a whole lot." Shay's warm words did funny things to my stomach. "And we need to remember to thank him for taking care of us both. Your Uncle Asher said the house is ready for us and we can move in tonight."

Hearing him say they were leaving tonight had the effect of a cold shower on my overheated skin. Placing a stack of steaming, buttered French toast in the middle of the table, next to a container of warmed syrup, I gave them both what I hoped was a bright, sunny smile.

Fake it until you make it, Bennett.

"How about I order us a pizza for dinner tonight, before you guys go? One last meal together." Did my voice sound as desperate as I felt, wanting to hold onto them for even a few minutes longer?

Shay was busy cutting up Lucas's breakfast, but his eyes flickered to mine for just a second, before sliding away. That underlying tenseness in his muscles from earlier was back. A gloom dimmed the brightness of his eyes, a heaviness hung in the air between us.

"You don't need to go to any trouble for us, Bennett. You've already done so much. Above and beyond."

"It's no trouble," I waved my spatula in the air, cringing at the high-pitch my voice had taken, "I always get pizza on Friday nights if I'm home. And it was my pleasure having you both here. "

Goddess, what the actual fuck were we doing here? This was the most awkward morning after talk in the history of morning after talks.

It's just pizza, Shay. It's the least I could do after you knotted me so well last night and pounded me into the mattress.

And just to make it more awkward, my mouth had to go and add, "I'm going to miss you both."

Goddess, you should just stop talking now, Benny, my wolf snickered.

"We're going to be neighbors, Bennett," Lucas reminded me, talking around his mouth full of food and I didn't have the heart to admonish him for it. "I can come visit you whenever you want."

Smiling softly at him, I swallowed the baseball sized lump that had formed in my throat. "I would love that. You come over whenever you want."

Shay frowned, his fork paused halfway to his mouth. "If Bennett is home, and it's a good time." He gave Lucas a pointed look. "We aren't going to make a nuisance of ourselves."

Lucas wrinkled his nose adorably. "I don't know what that word means, Daddy, but Bennett and me is friends. I'm not a…whatever word you said."

"Bennett and I are friends," Shay corrected, before taking a bite of his French toast and moaning. Eyes wide, I couldn't tear my gaze from him, as he made obscene noises and his eyes rolled back in his head. "Lucas is right; this is the best French toast I've ever eaten, Bennett."

Shrugging, but secretly pleased, I sat down in my chair and gathered some of the battered bread onto my plate. "It's just bread, milk, and eggs. It's nothing special. "

"Yeah, it's a bit more than that. I could eat this every day for the rest of my life and die happy."

To stop myself from saying something completely inappropriate, I shoved a bite of food in my mouth.

"You know what would make it better?" Lucas questioned, a drop of syrup trailing from his lips down his chin. Without thinking, I reached out with my napkin and wiped his face. Something I had been doing all week for him.

"What's that?" Catching Shay's gaze, I couldn't read the expression I saw there at my tiny gesture. Just as quickly as it was there, he blinked it away, looking down at his half-eaten plate. His appetite wasn't back to full strength–at least I didn't think it was–but he was eating, at least.

"Bacon." Lucas said with conviction.

"Mmmm," Shay agreed, and I jumped up and gathered his medicine bottles, placing them in front of him.

Fucking stop jumping around like you have ants in your pants, Bennett! My wolf admonished me, and I ignored him.

"Last day for them," I mumbled, picking up my fork, "and yes, Lucas, I agree. Bacon makes everything better. But some little boy ate the last of it yesterday morning, and I haven't restocked."

He giggled, not at all ashamed about eating the last of my bacon and dug back into the food on his plate.

"I'll make sure to reimburse you for all the food," Shay assured me, and I frowned, shaking my head. Were we back to this nonsense again?

"I don't want your money, Shay." My tone held a touch of bitterness that I couldn't hide. "I told you that. It's some groceries, it's not a big deal. And I've enjoyed hanging out with Lucas this week. With both of you. "

Jumping up from the table once more, Shay frowned at me and my wolf growled low in his throat, huffing noisily. Something he did when he was extra annoyed with me. Digging in my junk drawer, I triumphantly held up a key on a sparkly pink keychain.

Holding the key out to Shay, I shook it at him when he looked at me like I was handing him a live snake. "In case you get back before we do from your appointment. Lucas and I have lots of errands to run."

There was some kind of internal war going on in Shay's head. I could practically see it playing out in his eyes.

"I can't take your house key, Bennett." He shook his head, frowning.

Placing it in front of him on the table, I sat back in my seat, taking a bite of my food. He picked it up, reading the keychain, then gave me a dubious look.

"Nurses, both queens and angels?"

"Seth bought it."

When Shay sat the key back on the table, I said under my breath, "Take the key, Shay. It doesn't mean anything. It's just so you can get in."

I'd never given anyone a key to my house before. Not counting the copy Seth had, and Asher and Gabe for emergencies. Not even my dad had a key to my house. I didn't need to come home and find he had moved in. For reasons.

Even as I told Shay the key meant nothing, a part of me knew I was lying. I wanted that key to mean something. I wanted it to mean everything.

I wanted to talk about last night, wanted to ask a thousand questions. Like what did it mean for us? Did it even mean anything? Or was it just one night of two people giving into forces they had no control over? Where did we even go from here? And why was it suddenly weird between us?

Even as I wanted to ask all those questions and more, I knew that Shay wasn't ready to answer any of them. And I needed to be okay with that. I needed to be okay with him not even acknowledging last night.

Even if I was so far from okay with the entire situation.

This man and his son had completely stolen my heart over the last week, without even trying.

"Take the key, Daddy," Lucas chased his last bite through the syrup on his plate, completely drenching the bite of bread. "Bennett and me have lots of adventures to do today, and we don't want you to be locked out."

Shay and I stared at each other, something we had been doing pretty much all morning. Silent words passed between us, without either of us speaking.

Tread easy, Benny, my wolf whispered.

I know.

Finally, without saying a word, Shay pocketed the key and I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

When breakfast was finished, and Lucas was getting dressed, Shay was getting ready to leave for his appointment with Alex. Following him to the door after listening to him say his good-byes to Lucas, he hesitated before opening the door.

Gathering my courage, I finally said, "Shay, about last night…"

He turned, towering over me, and I peeked up at him from underneath my lashes. I couldn't read the expression on his face.

"We'll talk tonight, Bennett. I need to go, or I'll be late."

His tone, the look on his face–in his troubled eyes–his body language…and I knew .

Nodding, because I didn't trust myself to speak, I blinked rapidly to push away the heat burning my eyes.

"I'll see you later, Bennett," he whispered roughly, before pulling the door closed behind him.

Why did it feel like when I said good-bye to them tonight it was going to be forever?