Chapter 38

38

SUTTON

H awk had a way of making me feel like we were alone in the world, just him and me and the love that had always been between us. Forged in years of friendship and laughter, our relationship had grown slowly and steadily. Sure, it had nearly ended in disaster once before, but what was a relationship without challenges?

The only thing that really mattered was that we’d found our way back home again, both of us venturing far and wide, trying to fight the inevitable draw that had brought us both right back to the place we’d once so longed to escape.

As he sank to his haunches in front of me, I saw a depth of emotion in his eyes that made my heart soar and smart simultaneously. I held his gaze, knowing he was seeing the same thing from me. When our lips touched, the rest of the world disappeared.

Hawk’s kisses were hard and deep, his tongue parting my lips and sliding into my mouth like it was a part of me and not him. I slid my hands onto his broad shoulders, feeling the strength there as I held on to him, trying to ignore the stabbing pain of the knowledge that he would be gone soon.

As I ran my fingers from his shoulders to his neck, I brushed my fingertips across his skin, mentally cataloging every inch of him. I made a note of how the brief pricks of his stubble on my fingertips didn’t sting but rather simply provided a reminder that he was a man now and not a boy.

I had so many memories of touching him like this when that hair had been so much softer than it was now, and regardless of the knowledge that so many years had passed since, when it was only him and me like this, it didn’t feel like anything had changed.

We were still just Hawk and Sutton, the boy who’d moved to town with his dad after his mom’s death and befriended the girl down the road. The boy who used to spend hours reading fantasy novels on the back of his dad’s boat, with my head on his shoulder as I did the same thing.

He and I had been inseparable for so long and now here we were, the very fabric of our beings still as woven together as they had ever been. I swept my tongue into his mouth in turn, wondering about the cruel twist of fate that had kept us apart for so long and yet had resulted in the best gift I had ever received.

The same cruel twist of fate that had allowed Hawk to leave this place and go turn into the superstar businessman I’d always known he could be. If not for that twist, I didn’t know where we would have been, but I was suddenly grateful for it.

A connection like ours wouldn’t have allowed us to separate and seek out our own identities without each other if it hadn’t been for that twist. Ultimately, however, we’d done just that. We’d learned who we were when we were apart and we’d both decided that we were better together once life had put us back on each other’s paths.

I finally had peace with it all. I never thought I would get to this point, but I truly was now. What had happened before had happened. Now it was time to focus on our future, and as I pulled him onto the couch with me, there was a certainty deep within my bones that we would have that future together.

The relief that came along with the peace and certainty was so immense that it brought tears to my eyes, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him, kissing him deeply before I lowered my hands to the waistband of his jeans.

My heart was hammering as I clawed at his belt, suddenly too desperate to wait even another minute. Hawk groaned, lifting his hips to allow my fingers space to work and kicking off his shoes while I freed him from the confines of his pants.

As soon as his belt and button were undone, I pushed his jeans and underwear off while he slid my sweatpants and panties down, lifting himself up to stand on his knees as he pulled the fabric from my legs. His gaze was hooked on mine, his eyelids heavy and his lips parted as he looked at me, lowering himself back down as soon as our lower halves were naked.

Brushing a few tendrils of hair out of my face, he kissed me again, both of us breathing hard as he positioned himself between my legs. I felt the tip of him at my entrance and I moaned into his mouth, shuddering as a wave of need swept through me.

“Condom,” he muttered, but instead of letting him go, I pulled back to look into his eyes and shook my head.

“I have an IUD, Hawk. We don’t need a condom.”

“What?” His eyes suddenly widened and he grinned. “You didn’t think to tell me this before?”

I gave him a coy smile. “You didn’t need to know before.”

“Okay, I get that, but I do need to know now?”

I looked deep into his eyes, drinking in the beautiful blue around his dilated pupils and nodding. Almost since he’d first gotten back, he’d been completely open with me about his feelings. He’d reassured me time and again and I’d been the one to hang onto insecurities and old grudges, but I was letting go of all that now.

“I love you, Hawk. I want to be with you and I trust you, so yes. You do need to know that now.”

His chin lowered and disbelief crossed his features, his jaw slackening as he blinked hard. The atmosphere between us suddenly charged with anticipation but also something deeper and warmer, and I smiled as I nodded at him.

“I do. I love you.”

Our eyes locked, the sincerity and vulnerability of my words hanging in the air between us, but our connection and our unspoken understanding of one another was right there with it. For a moment, it felt like the earth had stopped spinning as he looked at me like he never had before.

I held my breath and it felt like the world was holding it with me.

Hawk closed the distance between us slowly, the kiss beginning with a mere brush of our lips but quickly deepening, becoming more passionate and more fervent as our mouths moved together. Hawk’s tip slid through my folds. Then he was pushing at my entrance, breaking the kiss just as he started pushing into me.

“I love you, Sutton. I have loved you since I first figured out how to love and I’m going to love you until my heart stops beating and it can’t love anymore, but even then, whatever might be left of me on this plane of existence or any other will still love you. It’ll just be from a little further away.”

My heart tripped over itself and my lungs stalled, warmth spreading through my body as a whirlwind of physical and emotional sensations swept through me. Tingles ran from my fingertips to my toes as he pushed a little further into me, those eyes still on mine and truth of those incredible words shining from them.

I felt electrified, suddenly holding back more tears as a powerful mix of exhilaration and joy coursed through me. A sob wracked my body. I pressed my lips to his again and stopped fighting the tears, catching his face in my hands as they started streaming down my cheeks.

“God, I love you,” I murmured between kisses, bringing my feet to his butt and pressing my heels into it to encourage him to go further.

Hawk held me gently as he thrust all the way into me, kissing me as we started moving together in perfect harmony. Moans and sighs spilled out of us both, our hands in each other’s hair and roaming everywhere we could touch, eventually clawing at each other’s shirts to remove the last remaining barriers between us.

Having him inside me without anything between us was transcendent, making me feel like we were touching the realms of another world as he moved inside me. A world where only we existed and where we would never again feel anything other than pleasure.

I’d heard of making love before, obviously. I’d even thought I’d done it countless times and perhaps I had, but it’d never been anything like this with Calen. Here and now, with Hawk, I felt the immeasurable knowledge sink in that this was it.

This was the beginning of our forever.

I kissed him back. My toes curled and my body tensed, an orgasm starting to build within me. He held me close, his movements smooth and perfectly rhythmic as he thrust into me again and again, taking me higher each time our bodies connected.

When I finally let go, the pleasure that raced through me felt like an explosion of light and joy, a culmination of almost an entire lifetime of love and desire for this man. I cried out into his mouth with the intensity of it, and then he was coming with me, swelling deep inside me and filling me with his release for the first time ever.

We collapsed together in the aftermath, panting and kissing sloppily until our bodies finally stilled and Hawk managed to lift his head to look into my eyes again. “Do you still love me?”

I grinned lazily. “Maybe. I mean, I don’t know. I said all that?—”

He laughed, reaching for my ribs and tickling me until I was squealing and squirming underneath him.

“Fine. Okay? Yes, I still love you. Of course, I still love you. What kind of question is that?”

He shrugged as he lifted himself up on his elbow, still inside me as the laughter faded from his eyes and he brought his free hand to my cheek, just looking at me as he stroked his thumb gently across the skin underneath my eyes.

“It still kind of feels too good to be true, so I figured I’d better check.”

“Do you still love me?” I asked softly.

He grinned and brought his mouth to mine for a slow, tender kiss. “You know I do, Sutton. Everyone knows I do. Sometimes, I feel like I was the last person to find out.”

“All that matters is that you did find out,” I murmured, inhaling deeply and closing my eyes to drink in this moment once more. Then I sat up as he slid out of me. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Grilled cheese?” I asked, getting up and striding over to the kitchen, still naked as the day I’d been born but for once I wasn’t self-conscious about it at all.

Hawk groaned, and I felt his gaze burning into me from where he lay on the couch. “Let’s eat fast. I haven’t had nearly enough of you yet, and as soon as we’re done, I’m taking you to bed and keeping you there for as long as I possibly can.”

A thrill shot down my spine, a smile spreading on my lips despite his looming departure. Hawk had to leave for a little while and that sucked, but he would be back, and once he was, this would be our lives. Maybe I wouldn’t get to be naked in the kitchen every day, but he, Winnie, and I were starting a new chapter together and I honestly couldn’t wait to see what we would fill its pages with.