Chapter 26

26

SUTTON

W orking at the bookstore while Winnie was at school, I couldn’t help wondering if Hawk had changed his mind about us. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in a few days, but I was trying not to be hurt by his sudden disappearance.

I had promised myself that I was going to try to trust him and that I wouldn’t let my past make me mess things up, which meant I just had to keep calm and trust that he was simply busy. I’d been busy myself, getting all the pieces of Winnie’s costume together and preparing for the Thanksgiving festival at the school.

Plus, I’d been helping my mom get things ready for hosting the holiday at our house and I was desperately trying to pull some feet into the store before then. Business was steady, but this time of year, we usually started seeing a spike.

People had time to read over Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I really wanted my first season back to be the best we’d had in a while. As I set up yet another display in the window, my dad came back into the store after stepping out a few hours ago.

I looked up to smile at him, but it slipped when I saw the grave expression on his face. He was slightly ashen, his eyes a little too wide and somewhat unfocused, and he was moving slowly as he slid out of his coat and hung it on the hook behind the counter.

“Daddy?” I asked, my heart suddenly pounding. I hopped off the step in the window and went over to him. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Henry,” he said, worry lacing his voice and making it sound deeper. “I dropped in at the port to see him. It’s been a couple weeks, so I thought I’d buy him a cup of coffee, but he wasn’t there.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, his worry working its way into my chest and wrapping its icy tentacles around my heart. It dawned on me that this was why I hadn’t heard from Hawk. “Did you find him?”

“At his house,” Dad said, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows. He collapsed into the stool he kept behind the counter. “He’s in worse shape than he’s been letting on. He told me the kids haven’t let him go to work this week. They’re trying to get him on some new medications, but they’re still gathering information. He says he doesn’t just want to keep pumping his body full of drugs.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my chest aching for Emery, Hawk, the boys, and even my dad. “Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe I could pop over to their office and see if there’s anything I can do for Emery at the business? I’m sure she’d be able to use an extra set of hands.”

Dad blew out a sharp breath through his nose, his expression a little incredulous. His eyebrows crept up as he stared back at me. “Apparently, Hawk is taking over. Emery’s not even at the office at the moment. She’ll still work there, but she’s at home with Henry for now. She’s the one gathering the information on the new meds. Hawk’s put her in touch with some specialists in LA.”

I blinked hard. “Hawk is taking over Henry’s business? Like, the one here , in Portsmouth? How? He lives and works in California. How is he supposed to do both?”

Dad shrugged, not really looking like he understood or believed it himself. “All I know is that Henry told me Hawk has spent the last few days holed up in their home office. He’s been making phone calls and having meetings with his company back in LA, preparing for the merger and whatnot.”

I felt like my head was spinning. “So he’s staying?”

My dad shook his head. The corners of his lips pressed in as he braced his hands against the counter. “I don’t know, Sutton. To be honest with you, even if he says he’s moving back now, I wouldn’t trust it to last. That boy has spent a decade only caring about himself and his bank account. It’s going to take more than just promises and phone calls for me to believe that he’s pulled his head out of his ass and is actually going to help.”

“Right,” I muttered, my heart beating much too fast.

I was tempted to ask how he would feel about Hawk and me giving things a try, but then I remembered that Dad had told him to stay away from me. Glancing at the clock, I realized that I didn’t have time for the argument we were likely to get into if I told him we’d gone against his wishes.

Plus, I needed to speak to Hawk first. Given that his dad wasn’t doing so well and he was apparently preparing to take over the family business, I wouldn’t go there from school after I picked Winnie up, but he and I definitely needed to talk.

He’s moving here? Or is he still going back to LA? Why didn’t he tell me about any of this? Unless there was nothing to tell yet. But seriously. How is he planning on doing it?

Part of me was bursting with excitement. If Hawk was taking over his dad’s business, that had to mean he’d be staying in Portsmouth, which meant he wouldn’t be going back to LA after all. In turn, that meant that he and I would be in the same town, and that we had a real shot at a relationship.

But the other, more realistic part of me knew it wouldn’t be that simple. Getting excited about it prematurely would only be setting myself up for disappointment. Gold Star Shipping was huge, a real player in the industry.

Not even its owner and founder could simply rip it up and move it across the country. Even if Hawk intended on taking over their family business as well, I knew there would be more to it than just spending a few days in meetings.

Sighing, I walked around the counter to grab my handbag, then shot my dad a tight smile. “I suppose we’ll find out more as they do. In the meantime, I need to go collect Winnie. See you later.”

“See you, sweetheart,” he murmured, his eyes faraway once more when I left him to his thoughts.

My insides were all knotted about the news that Henry wasn’t doing so well. As much as the possibility of Hawk moving home sparked all sorts of hopes deep within me, the reality of why he might be moving back was heartbreaking.

When I got to Bayshore Elementary, I saw Emery in the crowd and I made a beeline for her. She was staring off into the middle distance as I approached, but for the first time since I’d been back, I couldn’t help but notice there were no dark rings around her eyes.

She was lost in thought, sure, but she somehow didn’t look as frazzled today. Her long dark hair hung in a thick, intricate braid along her spine and her expression seemed calm. I smiled. “Hey, you. Get some sleep last night?”

She blinked herself out of her thoughts and returned my smile. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. I’ve been sleeping well all week, actually.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Hey, uh, my dad told me he stopped by your house earlier. He says your dad hasn’t been doing so well?”

She sighed but still seemed much more centered than since I’d been home. “The doctor warned me that it would be slow, but that he would keep deteriorating. I think Dad has just finally realized that he needs to own up to it with his friends. How’d David take it?”

I shook my head. “Not well, but he’s not the one who’s sick. How is Henry? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not right now,” she said. “Thanks, though. Dad’s really not much worse now than he has been for the last couple months. He’s just resisting the treatment they want to put him on. He’s also refusing to let the doctors run the tests they need in order to determine whether they need to increase the dosage of his current meds or try him on a different regimen.”

I grimaced. “That must be damn scary for you guys.”

“It is, but we’re pushing through.” She flashed me another, weaker smile. “I’m so grateful to have Hawk home and helping. Honestly, I don’t know what we did without him.”

“That’s why you’ve been sleeping better?” I asked, wondering if it was also because there was this new development with him potentially moving back.

Emery chuckled but finally lowered her chin in a nod. “I think I’m learning to depend on him again. I’m not on the nightshift with my dad and the boys every night by myself anymore, so that helps too.”

“Your dad is letting Hawk take care of him now?”

She rocked her head from side to side. “Sort of. They still argue a lot, but Hawk took him to the doctor the other day, and ever since, he’s been insisting on being more hands-on. With Dad and with the company, so?—”

“Sutton!” an all too familiar voice called out behind me and my stomach hollowed out.

Calen is here? No. No, it can’t be.

I felt the blood draining from my cheeks and my internal organs turned to ice. Emery frowned and glanced over my shoulder, bringing her gaze back to mine slowly. I saw the questions in her eyes as she tilted her head to the side.

“Is that…” She trailed off, leaning closer and whispering to me. “He’s coming closer. If you want to run, now would be a good time to do it. I can throw sand in his eyes if that will help.”

If I want to run? Of course, I wanted to run, but I couldn’t.

Instead, I swallowed and spun slowly to face him, a part of me still hoping that I’d been wrong about that voice and that it wasn’t really him. But no such luck.

Calen Megill was here, standing head and shoulders above most of the crowd of parents gathered and waiting for dismissal. With his deep red hair glinting in the afternoon sun and his sharp jaw clean shaven for a change, he strode toward me with a big smile on his face, like we were best friends and he was excited to see me.

At six and a half feet tall, he always seemed to tower over people and it was no different now. After Hawk had asked me if I still loved him, I’d wondered how I might feel when I saw Calen again, but there was no pang of longing or love that shot through me as I watched him making his way toward me.

In fact, as my gaze met his, everything in me turned to stone. I’d dreaded this moment for so long, but at least now, I had my answers. I didn’t feel anything for him other than hatred, and even that wasn’t for myself.

It was for Winnie.

It was so surreal to see him here, in Portsmouth, on the lawn outside my old elementary school, but it looked like he’d come to see her for Thanksgiving after all.

Glancing around, I didn’t see Maeve or the baby yet, which meant that for all his faults, at least he’d decided to reunite with his daughter without them in tow. That was something.

Not much but a little was more than nothing under the circumstances. I dragged in a deep breath through my nostrils when he finally reached us. I looked up into those deceitful eyes for the first time in months and already wished he’d just go back to where he’d come from.

“Calen,” I said coolly. “You could’ve told me you’d be getting in today. Winnie will be out in a few, but before she gets here, you and I need to get a few things straight.”

I grabbed his arm and led him away from the others, steeling myself for what was bound to be an unpleasant conversation, but ultimately, I refused to let him hurt my daughter and I was going to do whatever it took to avoid that.