Chapter 12

12

SUTTON

A shbury Books had been in my family for over a hundred years. In the back of my mind, even while I’d been making all those other plans for my professional life, I’d always worried about what would happen to this place when my parents retired.

While I hadn’t planned to be back here, working with them in the store, I couldn’t deny that I was happy to do it. Not only had I always adored this place and had grown up here, but it felt somehow right, like I was finally accepting a legacy of some sort.

As I arranged a display in the window, my dad came back in after having been out for a quick errand. He smiled at me. “You didn’t burn it down while I was gone?”

I chuckled. “You came back too soon. I was looking for a match.”

To my surprise, I saw Hawk walking past the store as the door swung shut behind my dad, and I wondered if it was a coincidence. After what he had said to me about Hawk the other day, I knew he wasn’t the greatest fan of my rekindling my friendship with the guy, and Hawk had a very intense expression on his face as he strode past.

Curious and maybe even a little bit worried, I started moving toward the door to see if I could catch him, but my dad stepped into my path. “I need your help with something.”

I glanced at Hawk’s rapidly retreating back. He disappeared from sight and I nodded at my dad. Guess I’ll just have to find out later what happened to put that furious look on his face.

“Sure,” I said. “What do you need help with?”

“We need to, uh…” Dad glanced around before finally jerking his chin toward a poster on the wall for a reading that we’d had last week. “Those need to be taken down.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “Right now?”

“Yep,” he said happily before hurrying into the back room.

I frowned after him, seriously suspecting it hadn’t been a coincidence that Hawk had walked past just after Dad had come back in—or that he’d looked so angry about something. Shaking my head, I went to take down the offending posters, all the while wondering what Dad might’ve said to Hawk. If they’d even spoken.

On the one hand, I knew Dad thought he’d grown up to be selfish, but on the other, I also knew that my dad loved him.

Hawk had been like a son to him at one point, and despite the time between then and now, those kinds of feelings didn’t just go away. I suspected it was more a matter of Dad being disappointed in Hawk rather than actually believing he only cared about himself.

From the sound of things, the Brunsons had been having a rough time of it lately and Hawk simply hadn’t been around. I understood why that would’ve disappointed my dad, but at the same time, he hadn’t visited me in Scotland—purely because he hadn’t liked my husband.

They’ll figure it out , I thought as I went back to my display after getting rid of the posters.

My day went by in a bit of a blur, but I enjoyed the work, interacting with the customers and the books, and even sipping coffee with Mom’s book club just before I went to collect Winnie.

When I got to the packed front lawn outside of Bayshore Elementary, I smiled when I saw Emery in the crowd. I wound my way through the other parents waiting for dismissal, smiling when I reached her.

“Hey,” I said as I took a spot beside her. “How are you?”

Before the question was even out of my mouth though, I realized she looked more frazzled than usual. Her hair was windblown, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes just a little bit too wide. She’d been typing furiously on her phone, but when she heard my voice, she looked up.

“Hey,” she said, her tone not unfriendly but definitely not as warm as usual. “We’re okay. How are you?”

“Fine,” I said cautiously, looking her over and wondering if this was about her father. “Are you sure you’re alright? No offense, but you look like you’ve had a bit of a day.”

She chuckled humorlessly. “All of my days these days are days .” She cringed. “Gosh, how many times can one person say the word ‘day’ in one sentence, huh?”

I smiled understandingly. “I get it. You’ve got a pretty full plate at the moment.”

“True,” she muttered, finally finishing on her phone and then drawing in a deep, calming breath before she focused on me. “There. That’s better. I’m going to throw that thing into the water one of these days. Or smash it on the deck of a tug.”

I grimaced. “That bad, huh?”

She sighed, her head shaking slightly. “I feel like people always think something is ‘that bad’ in my life. It’s not. It’s, uh, just a little bit chaotic. I’ve been trying to plan something for Thanksgiving dinner, but with everything going on with my dad, I’m honestly ready to throw in the towel and just order pizza.”

“Why don’t you come have dinner with us?” I suggested. “We’ll get our families together like we used to. The kids would love it and you know how much my mom loves to cook.”

“Are you sure she wouldn’t mind cooking for six extra people, though?” Emery asked, but I could see the hope suddenly shining in her eyes. “I don’t know, Sutton. That’s a lot.”

“Mind?” I said. “She lives for feeding people. The woman has like ten different spatulas and enough plates to serve an army. She will be thrilled. Plus, there’s plenty of room for everyone at our dining-room table and it’ll be a lot more festive if we’re all together.”

Relief splashed across her features and she blew out a long breath. “Yes, thank you. That would be amazing.”

“You got it,” I said, excitement suddenly thrumming in my chest. Since this would be Winnie’s first Thanksgiving, I’d been wondering about ways to make it extra special for her, and since she’d been getting closer to the Brunson boys, I knew she’d love having them there. “This is going to be great. Just bring some wine and don’t worry about anything else.”

“We will,” she said, opening her arms and pulling me into a hug. “I owe you, Sutton. Thank you! Next year is on me, alright?”

I nodded, squeezing her tight before letting go. “You don’t owe me anything. You’d be doing me a favor by coming, really. Your boys are the first friends Winnie’s made in the States. It’s weird. She made friends easily with everyone back in Scotland, but she’s been having some trouble since we got here.”

“It’ll pass,” Emery said sympathetically. “She’s been through a lot and moving here must’ve been a huge adjustment for her. If it’s any consolation though, the boys love her. They’ve got her back, whether she makes any other friends or not.”

Gratitude bloomed deep in my heart. Hawk had been a good friend to me before we’d messed things up by getting romantically involved. As long as Winnie avoided falling in love with any of his nephews, I already knew that a Brunson boy could be the best friend anyone could ever ask for.

As Emery and I chatted, Winnie ran out of the school, absolutely beaming as she raced over to us. I smiled. Her first two weeks of school had been a dream, and I was relieved it was going so well. Outside of the fact that she seemed to have lost interest in making friends, she was loving Bayshore so far. She adored her teacher, she was doing well in class, and she came to school every day with a smile on her face. It was more than I had hoped for.

“Hey, you,” I said, winding my arms around her when she reached us. “How was your day?”

“The school is putting on a Thanksgiving play,” she squealed excitedly. “I’m going to try out for it, Mam!”

“That’s an excellent idea,” I said, squeezing her before I let go. “I love that you want to get involved with the play, baby. You’re going to have so much fun.”

Emery stepped in to help me gas her up. “It’s going to be great, Win. Even if you don’t go onstage, there are so many other things you could do to help with the play, and if you are in it, you’ll be amazing. Your mommy told me you’ve been in a few plays.”

She beamed at Emery. “I love theater and being onstage.”

“She sure does,” I agreed, chuckling. I still wondered how any child of mine had come to love being the center of attention as much as Winnie.

She must’ve gotten it from Calen , I thought bitterly, but at the same time, it was true. My ex lived for being the life of the party, and he was damn good at commanding the attention he craved.

When we’d met, he’d been in Edinburgh on a pub crawl with his friends, and from the moment he’d walked into the bar where I’d been with my sorority sisters, I’d been aware of him. Everyone had been. Calen Megill always made sure he was noticed.

His deep, Scottish brogue had drifted to my ears even above the music and he’d had his group in stitches, holding court at the other side of the pub.

I closed my eyes and breathed past the memories, wishing I’d known then what I knew now. As if Winnie had heard my thoughts about her father, she suddenly looked up at me. “Do you think Daddy will come see the play?”

Pain scorched my insides. “I don’t know, Win. I’m not sure.”

My daughter fell silent and I wondered for the millionth time if I’d done the right thing moving back to America. Emery gave me a sympathetic smile, waving goodbye when her boys came racing out. I took Winnie’s hand, trying to distract her as we walked home.

After tucking her into bed later that night, I climbed out on the roof to watch the port, still wondering about my decision to move back here. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed as I replayed in my mind how I’d gotten here.

Calen had been pulling away from me for a while before I’d finally found out the truth. I had been happy enough, but I’d felt him putting distance between us. Our relationship had burned hotter than a flame at first, but as Winnie had gotten older and our lives had become less and less about swinging-from-the-rafters sex and more about being parents, I’d sensed that he wasn’t as happy as I had been.

I’d tried talking to him about it, but it was like talking to a brick wall.

As I leaned back on the roof, I noticed the light on in Hawk’s attic bedroom. Memories of the time when I’d talked to him about everything swept through my mind. I so desperately needed someone to talk to right now that I scrambled back into my bedroom and grabbed the old walkie-talkie. But even with new batteries, it failed to connect.

Disappointment surged through me, but I knew this was probably for the best. It was becoming too easy to talk to him again, and I couldn’t allow myself to get used to having him around. He wasn’t staying, and since I was still attracted to him, he would never be just a friend to me.

There would always be something more with Hawk Brunson, and that just wasn’t a situation I should be getting myself into.

Not again.