Chapter 11

11

HAWK

N ot having anything to do was a luxury I’d not had for a very long time. Since Dad was refusing to let me help him, however, I found myself at home, alone in the kitchen, and with absolutely zero plans for the day.

Emery was busy and the boys were at school. Everyone had rushed out this morning and it’d been darn weird not rushing right along with them.

Instead of hurrying to join the ranks of the productive, I sat at the breakfast nook, staring out the kitchen window and noticing for the first time that the leaves had already changed outside.

Vibrant reds and oranges dominated the trees. The last of the green was quickly disappearing. I was sure it had looked like this since I’d gotten here, but my mind had been so preoccupied with other things that I simply hadn’t consciously taken note of it.

Now that I had though, I realized with a start that Thanksgiving was coming up fast, but I’d barely heard a mention of it from anyone so far. Emery had always been obsessed with the holidays.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were her jam. She’d never cared much for any of the others, but during November and December, our house had always been a hive of activity with all of her preparations, decorations, and orders being yelled when she couldn’t reach high enough to attach hanging ornaments to the ceiling. This year, it was a hive of activity alright, but there were no preparations in sight.

I suddenly wondered when that had changed. Or even if it had changed at all. I supposed it was possible she still loved the holidays but simply hadn’t had the time or the energy to do anything about it.

As I pondered the question—and possible solutions—I grabbed my wallet and jacket and left the house for a coffee run. I slid my hands deep into my pockets after zipping up, tucking my chin into the collar.

Outside, the air was crisp this morning, a lot chillier than it had been so far. The bite of winter was definitely in the air as an icy breeze rustled through the dry fall leaves.

As I strode past the Ashbury house, I glanced over at it, but there were no signs of life around. Winnie would be at school too, and Sutton and her parents were probably all working at the bookstore.

Since she’d mentioned college the other day and said she’d gone to Scotland after graduating, I knew that she had to have earned a degree, but I had no clue what she’d studied. Either way, I wondered why she was working at the bookstore.

Is it because she wants to, or because she has to?

It killed me to think she might not have had any other opportunities. Since I also knew she’d stayed home to care for Winnie instead of getting work experience in whatever field she was qualified in, it was a reasonably safe bet that the bookstore hadn’t necessarily been a choice.

My heart gave a painful throb at the realization and I frowned. My footsteps even faltered a bit, and I wondered when I started caring so much about someone else that it affected me physically. For so long now, I’d thought my heart had turned to stone.

It had been years since I’d really felt anything. Obviously, since I’d been back in Portsmouth, I’d been wrestling with a lot of emotions, more than I’d had ever, but this was different. This was an actual, physical ache I couldn’t really explain.

Shaking my head, I picked up my pace and left their house behind me, intent on forgetting it’d even happened. It probably hadn’t even had anything to do with Sutton. I’d been under a lot of stress at work before I’d come here, and then that stress had turned personal once I’d arrived.

Stress about my dad. My sister. My nephews. The very house they lived in.

Plus, I’d been feeling so guilty so often that it had to have an effect on my body. The ache might just have been a delayed reaction to that.

Ducking into a little cafe at the edge of downtown, I inhaled the earthy, bitter aroma of freshly brewed coffee and finally withdrew my hands from my pockets, relishing the warmth of the cozy interior.

Decorated to be a harmonious blend of rustic charm and modern comfort, the walls were painted a deep burgundy, adorned with local art and vintage coffee-related posters. Wooden shelves lined with books and quirky knick-knacks took up one side wall, while a large statement fireplace took up the other. A crackling fire in it added to the warmth and the ambiance in here.

The mantel was decorated with seasonal accents, and for the first time, I actually got the feeling that Thanksgiving was right around the corner.

The seating arrangement featured a mix of plush armchairs, overstuffed sofas, and well-worn wooden tables with mismatched chairs. It was pretty nice, reminiscent of my favorite coffee shop near my house in LA, and it was surprising to stumble upon a place like it here.

Pendant lights hung overhead and the ceiling beams were exposed. The remote-work crowd seemed to have turned it into one of their haunts, since almost every seat was taken by someone typing away on their laptop. It gave me pause as I looked around, marveling that this kind of thing was going on in my hometown now.

I guess maybe Portsmouth hasn’t gotten left behind after all.

It was something I’d noticed more and more since I’d been here, but I was only consciously taking note of it now. Like with the leaves.

I shook my head at myself as I approached the counter. Then I grinned when I saw a familiar face there, waiting in line. “Luke?”

My high school friend and teammate spun at the sound of my voice, his black eyebrows shooting up. Then he laughed and extended a hand toward me. “Hawk Brunson. I heard you were in town. How are you, man?”

“I’m good.” I shook with him, genuinely happy to see the guy. “How are you? God, it’s been years. We got old.”

He laughed again but nodded his agreement before he motioned to a pretty blonde next to him. “This is my wife, Aggie.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, shaking hands with her. Two little girls stood next to her. “Who are these tiny replicas of Luke?”

They truly looked like their father, with thick black hair, olive skin, and eyes the color of a tropical rainforest. They giggled, glancing up at their dad. When he introduced them, they shyly stepped forward. “Our daughters, Mia and May.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” I said, smiling at them before turning my attention back to my friend. “So you’re still in town, huh?”

He chuckled. “I went to New York, did the whole rat race thing for a while. Then I met Agatha and we got married. As soon as we found out she was pregnant with May, we gave up our apartment and moved back here.”

“Makes sense,” I said, and I meant it. “Portsmouth is a great place to grow up.”

Luke grinned. “That’s exactly what I said. What about you, bro? What have you been up to all these years?”

I glanced at his girls, who appeared to be younger than Sawyer, and I suddenly felt very far behind in life, despite my bank account reflecting years of hard work and financial success. The adorable kids standing next to Luke made the zeroes on my account statement seem a little insignificant.

I looked back at him. “Oh, I, uh, I’ve been working. Started my own company out in California.”

“Hey, that’s great,” he said, handing over some money to the barista when their orders were up. “I’m really sorry to say this, but we need to get going. My in-laws are flying in for Thanksgiving and our house still looks like a toy shop exploded, but we should get drinks soon. Catch up?”

I nodded. “Absolutely. Let’s do it. I’ll see you then.”

“See you.” He and his family took off and I slid into their spot at the counter, placing my order and wondering why being here was making me feel and think so many things that were so stupid.

As I walked back out with my coffee in hand, I saw Sutton in her dad’s bookstore across the street, and I decided on a whim to go visit her. Before I got there though, a sharp whistle rang out and I turned, seeing David, her father, hurrying down the street toward me.

“Hawk,” he said as his gray-green eyes met mine. “Thanks for waiting up.”

I chuckled, shaking his hand when he caught up to me. “No problem, Mr. Ashbury. How are you?”

“Same as always, son,” he said. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you since I found out you were back in town. Can we take a walk?”

I frowned. “Sure. What’s up?”

David had been around my whole life and he was my dad’s best friend. I had a mountain of respect for the man, but I was still annoyed when he started walking me around the back of the shop, to the trail leading to the pier—and away from Sutton.

“Have you and your sister had any luck getting Henry to give up the reins yet?”

I shook my head. “We’re still working on it. He’s got a few captains piloting for him for now on a rotational basis, but he’s still trying to get back on the boat. He’s stubborn as an old mule.”

I neglected to mention that my dad had tried firing them with that payroll excuse. Emery and I had spoken about it, and after I’d told her I’d take care of the hospital bills, she’d called up the guys who had been helping them out with the tugs and told them they still had jobs.

Even so, we’d narrowly dodged a bullet this time. Eventually, Dad was going to have to realize by himself that he couldn’t pilot the boats anymore—or we were going to have to force him to retire, which was obviously not ideal.

David nodded slowly, his gaze far away as we strolled along the pier. “Henry has always been the type who was going to try working until the day he dies.”

“Unfortunately, that may come sooner rather than later at this rate,” I said, admitting it for the first time out loud. If I had been speaking to anyone other than David, I wouldn’t have been caught dead saying it, but the man had known us a long time. I knew he really cared.

“The whole town is rallying behind your dad, Hawk,” he said, glancing at me. “We’re all hoping and praying that one of these treatments Emery is getting him on works, but in the meantime, it would be really great if you could stick around and help.”

“We’re figuring it out,” I said.

David finally stopped walking and turned to me with a serious expression on his face. “I know, and I’m sure your family is grateful you’re here, but I’m not just talking about them. I’m talking about helping the town, son.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. His gaze darted toward the port before he slowly brought it back to mine. “You already know that ever since Meecham Maritime moved into Portsmouth, they’ve been causing problems for the other private maritime companies out there. What you might not know is that Henry used to be the guy who’d go make sure that the smaller boats had a chance to operate and make a living, but now?”

He pressed his lips into a tight line and shook his head. “Someone else needs to step into that role, Hawk. I’d do it myself, but I own a bookstore. I don’t know enough about the industry to make a damn lick of difference.”

“I understand all of that, but I can’t just up and leave my company,” I said, trying my best to remain patient. “I’m sure there’s got to be someone else around here who can do it.”

“There isn’t,” David said, his tone grave. “It’s been a few months. The community has been trying to come up with another option and Henry is still trying to help, but it’s just a matter of time. I know you can’t up and leave your company. I understand that, but I’m still asking you to try.”

As I stared at him, the business-minded gears started turning in my brain. Whether or not he’d meant to, David had put a bug in my head that wasn’t going to leave me alone. It only took seconds before I started imagining the possibilities of merging my company with my dad’s, but before I could even begin to mentally work out how it might be possible, David abruptly changed the subject.

“Look, Hawk. I’ll level with you. I’ve always liked you. I have my opinions about you leaving your little sister to keep your family’s heads above water, but overall, I think you’re smart and capable. Thing is, you’re not smart or capable enough for Sutton.”

I blinked hard, taken completely off guard, but before I could say anything to defend myself, David went on. “I’m going to ask you this as nicely and as kindly as possible, but stay away from my daughter, Hawk. She already has enough strife and heartache in her life right now. I don’t want you sliding in to break her heart even further.”

With that, he clapped me on the shoulder and walked away, leaving me both stunned and fuming. Where the hell did that come from? And why the fuck do the people in my family and hers think I came here to hurt her?