Chapter 42

The carriage ride back to Pemberley was quiet. It was not the appropriate time for a serious conversation, and soon after arriving home, Georgiana had retired. The following morning, she, Fitzwilliam, and Darcy sat together in one of Pemberley’s small sitting rooms. Darcy had chosen it because it was particularly bright and cheerful. Georgiana’s hands were folded together in her lap, and she did not look directly at either Fitzwilliam or him.

“I believe what Fitzwilliam and I would most like to know is why you felt compelled to leave the way you did,” Darcy said.

Georgiana visibly swallowed. “The day before, I overheard the two of you. You spoke of Miss Bennet and having to sacrifice a future with her. It was plain how much it hurt you to do so, and how much it still did, despite all the months that have passed. I thought if I were no longer here, you could marry her and be happy. I wanted that for you. I cannot explain why it affected me so much all of a sudden. I have always known that you did not propose to her because of me.”

“I must bear some of the responsibility for this situation—perhaps most of it,” Fitzwilliam said.

“What?” Darcy was too surprised to stop himself from blurting the word.

Fitzwilliam offered him a regretful shrug before explaining. “I have realised how unfair I have been about and to Miss Bennet. I regret that it took recent events to make me see it. Georgiana, do you recall that I met her previously, in the spring of 1812 in Kent?”

She nodded, and he went on. “I liked her a great deal, and I was quick to forget that or accept that she and your brother loved each other as much as I now believe they do.”

“When I met her, I liked her too, and I looked forward to the day she would be my sister,” Georgiana said. She turned to Darcy. “I knew she would make you happy, and I was very glad for you. You deserve someone who loves you and makes you laugh, as I saw she did last year.”

He murmured his thanks, and she continued. “Even when I was most frightened of being near her, I never once thought meanly of her, only of her connexion to him.” She paused and visibly straightened her spine. “Wickham. I ought not to be afraid to say his name. It cannot harm me unless I let it.”

Fitzwilliam pulled her hand to his mouth to kiss, demonstrating his approbation. “I know I said I disapproved of her because she is not rich or part of the ton, but I never cared about that. As soon as you learnt from our aunt that Darcy intended to marry her, you were distraught, and that was enough for me. I did not need to know more, and I acted accordingly. I was not kind. I argued with Darcy, and I treated this whole thing as a simple matter. You did not want him to marry her, and that was the end of it.”

“And it was,” Darcy interjected. “I would never do anything that truly made you unhappy, Georgiana. I hope you know that. I could not live with myself if I did.”

Georgiana’s cheeks turned pink, and her lips turned upwards in a small smile.

Addressing Darcy, Fitzwilliam said, “I know you would not, and it may have been necessary to postpone any plans you and Miss Bennet made, which is exactly what you and Bramwell suggested. Where I absolutely failed was that I did not take into account how difficult it would be for you—that your attachment to her was deep and long-lasting. I could say it is because I have never felt such for a lady, but in reality, I simply did not think of you—I only thought of Georgiana. Bramwell told me I was being stupid about it often enough, but I disregarded him because I did not like what he was saying. I made the situation worse for you, Darcy. If we had spoken of it more, if I had not simply argued with you, if I had talked to Georgiana of the situation in a more reasonable fashion instead of just saying that yes, of course it would be a terrible thing for you and Miss Bennet to marry?—”

“I appreciate what you are saying, but perhaps we ought to move on. Nothing can change the past. We all made mistakes, and we all shall again in our lives,” Darcy said. He reached across to clap his cousin on the shoulder as a way to emphasise the verity of his words. It was satisfying to know Fitzwilliam regretted his behaviour, but at this late date, it made no material difference, other than making it easier for them to return to being friends. He and Elizabeth were still as far apart as ever. Elizabeth would never agree to marry him if she had even the tiniest concern that their union would cause Georgiana a moment’s unease.

“What would you like to do?” Darcy asked his sister. “We could go to Romsley Hall or to town, visit some other place, if you like, or we might stay here.”

“Do not answer in the manner you believe would most please us,” Fitzwilliam said. “Take a moment—or longer, if necessary—and tell us what you need.”

Georgiana looked from one of them to the other and back again several times, all the while nibbling her lower lip. At length, she said, “I am not sure what I need at present. I know that I do not want to always feel this way.”

They spent the next interval speaking of what they had been advised to do by various people who claimed to be experts in nervous disorders.

“I have recently learnt of several other doctors, and I shall write to them. They might not have anything different to suggest or that we are prepared to try,” Darcy said, “but…”

“I shall gladly consult with anyone you can find who might aid me. I am determined to believe that someone knows what will help me, and I vow to truly put my mind and effort into feeling better, whatever it takes. I know it will not be easy, but I shall not let that deter me.”

Darcy took her hand in his. “Do not think we believe this is completely in your control. We know it is not, any more than you could simply wish away a bad cold.”

“We shall do our best to support you. As will the rest of your family, all of whom will rejoice with each step you take towards health,” Fitzwilliam added.

Looking less downtrodden than Darcy recalled seeing her in over two years, Georgiana smiled—genuinely smiled!—at him and Fitzwilliam. With a little more discussion, they decided to remain at Pemberley to enjoy more of the summer before travelling to town in about a month. Fitzwilliam would keep them company for as long as he was able, though he could be absent from his military duties only so long.

“I recall you saying the Reeds would visit us at the end of August,” Georgiana said, “but now we wish to return to town in early September. Do you think Rebecca might be able to come sooner, either with or without her parents? That would be agreeable, do you not think? Perhaps Lord and Lady Romsley and Bramwell would also like to visit.”

“I think it is a wonderful idea. I shall write to Mr Reed today and do my best to arrange it. As for Bramwell, if we tell him that Rebecca will be here, he will certainly come,” Darcy said.

Fitzwilliam turned a puzzled expression on him, which Darcy held with a steady gaze. It took perhaps half a minute until Fitzwilliam hit himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand.

“My brother is in love with Rebecca Reed? You hinted as much in town. My mother did too, come to think of it. Does she return his regard? Good Lord. Can you imagine what Lady Catherine will say of that match?”

Georgiana giggled, and the sound was like the finest music to Darcy’s ears.