Day 109

W ar has revisited our shores, but this time it's my father who tastes defeat.

I'm not sure what he's done, but he's somehow caught the eye of Dauphin Tueur. Compared to that man, my father nothing but a big old fish in a small pond.

And it's why, for the first time in his life, it's my father who's forced to swallow his pride.

Negotiate.

And offer me, his daughter, as bridal collateral.

But of course that's just for show.

Not once did I believe he had any intention to keep the peace, and true enough, as soon as I finished signing the documents that made me a bride by proxy, my father pulled me into his arms and started whispering into my ear.

Kill him when you have the chance.

It's clear that he only has vengeance in mind.

Or he'll find out you're not my real daughter,

And he's determined to have it, regardless of the costs.

And it will be your own husband who'll kill you.

My father steps back. "Take care of yourself."

His voice is gruff but tender, and it sounds so convincing it almost has me questioning my sanity.

Is it possible I've just imagined everything he said?

Oh please, let it be so.

Because I'm not above hoping that my father can still be redeemed.

So please, God, please .

But when I look into his eyes all I see is emptiness.

He's so consumed by evil that he doesn't even realize his soul is already burning in Hell.

My father smiles at me. "It's alright, daughter."

Kill him before he kills you.

"I know you can do this."

It's so easy to tell he believes he still has me under my thumb.

And even though I knew in my heart that it was best to just let it go---

To just walk away and let him think I'm his puppet---

The devil is always prowling around like a lion, and at that moment, my father's not the only one he's been able to devour.

When I look into my father's eyes again, the only thing I see all of a sudden are my cats, but it isn't God who's making me remember them.

(Don't do it, Eden.)

The spirit is willing, but my flesh is just too weak, and even then---

Even then I knew a day would come when I'd regret what I was about to do---

But even so, I still hear myself whisper, "No."

Because I, too, wanted vengeance.

"I can't do it."

And I have it the moment the penny drops.

No, I won't kill his enemy for him.

I turn away just as my father starts shaking in impotent rage.

I can feel him staring at my back as his enemy's men lead me out of his room, and I know he's already furiously busy thinking up ways to torture and kill me, for daring to disobey him.

But because my father is no idiot...

I know he'll bide his time and hope that I change my mind.

It's why he's survived this long.

He has never lacked patience. He's always been the type to stand back and watch, and most times, it works. Fear would get the better of his prey, and they'd end up doing whatever he wanted.

Not this time, though.

Or ever again.

Because even if he does make good on his threat, so what?

I'm more than ready to meet my God, and death is the only thing that's standing in my way.

So feel free to do your worst, Father.

But for now, I need to live.

Why though, God?

The reason I'm alive still escapes me, but the thought of questioning His decision doesn't even cross my mind. There's still something I have to do in this world apparently, and whatever it is requires swapping one prison for another.

The men in front of me come to a stop when we reach the front door. All of them have balaclavas over their faces to hide their identities, but figuring out who's in charge is a no-brainer.

I've seen him in action earlier. All he does is nod or gesture, and the rest of them follow like clockwork. And so when Mr. Stranger-in-Charge turns to me, I have to resist the oddest urge to click my heels and salute.

Sir, yes, sir!

"Is there anything you'd like to take with you before we leave?"

The question completely catches me off guard, and my mood instantly switches from hysterically playful to uneasy and wary.

"Or perhaps you have someone whom you would like to go with you?"

Yeah, right.

I've lost count of the times my father expressed the same offer to his captives, but it was never out of mercy or compassion. He asks because he wants them to hurt even more. He asks in order to know what and who to destroy.

"You do not have to fear us, mademoiselle. We are no longer at war."

My mind says he's lying.

Because it's what the mafia does best.

They lie and lie and lie, just like a thief in the night that only wants to kill, steal, and destroy.

"You can always ask again on another day, of course."

And yet my heart, oh God.

I'm scared, God. I'm so scared.

Why is it suddenly full of joy and hope?

"But there is no guarantee that the things - and people - that matter to you will still be here whenever it is you decide to trust us."

I want to trust what he's saying, God.

But can I?

May I?

"We are here to serve you . You're about to be the wife of Calixte Romano---"

My head spins. My heart races. And my soul starts to sing.

"W-What did you call him?" I ask jerkily.

" Ah ." Even though the balaclava he's wearing hides his face, the smile in the stranger's voice is undeniable. "No one told you, mademoiselle ?"

I shake my head.

"Dauphin Tueur is nothing but a fake name that he's taken to using, mostly because it was what the people called him back in the day. Loosely translated, you can say it's French for Prince of Killers. But his real name, which he also goes by in the 'real' world, is Calixte Romano."

Romano.

Romano .

Romano .

I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. Just when I was on the brink of deciding whether to run away or trust this new path, I would've thought He'd choose to answer me very clearly with a 'yes' or 'no'.

(That would not make a good story to share, child.)

But instead, He gives me a puzzle to solve.

And one so subtle that tears finally win over laughter, and my knees completely fold under me.

I see what you're doing, God.

(And it's fun, is it not? To know that you see what I want you to see.)

No, not really.

(And hear what I want you to hear.)

It's scary, that's what it is.

(How is it scary?)

Because what if I didn't get it?

(You would not "get" it if you were not my child.)

(But you are. Aren't you?)

Romans 10:9 Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.