Day 88

I like walking around early in the morning when most people are still asleep, and it's nature that I hear instead of man-made evil and oppression.

It's just waves crashing against the shore, birds chirping to each other, and the crunch of my footsteps against gravelly pathways.

It's moments like this that give me the greatest hope.

(Because I feel Him.)

But at the same time, it's these precious moments of solitude that break my heart the most.

It hurts, oh God, will it ever stop hurting?

Because this was always around this time of the day that I'd be with the cats.

Feeding them whatever I could steal from the kitchen.

But now they're gone.

They're there with You, right? They have to be.

I look up, and the skies are beautiful.

One day, God. One day I'll be there with You and the cats.

I look down, and I see...blood.

Specks of them on pebbles that lay out a trail to someone in hiding.

And bleeding.

(It's him, of course. You know it can only be him, no one else.)

My head feels faint, and I have a hard time breathing again. I can barely think over the way my heart is bang, bang, banging against my chest.

He's the reason why everyone got roaring drunk last night. But they've clearly celebrated prematurely, since the "high-ranking" government agent they've captured has somehow managed to escape.

'Se fue!' He's gone!

(You know what to do.)

I yank the used plastic bag I have in my pocket for emergencies---

(Who knew I'd actually have use for it?)

---and use it to the bloodstained pebbles I can find to avoid leaving fingerprints.

(Go, go, go!)

And then I run---

(Run like your life depends on it!)

---to the point that my lungs feel like they're about to explode.

(Because it does!)

But still I run.

(Faster, Eden, faster!)

I run without stopping.

(You can do it.)

Until I finally reach the top of the cliff and I'm able to throw the pebbles away.

(Well done, child. Well done.)

I crash down on my knees as I hear the barking of dogs behind me.

Oh please, let this be enough, God.

Tears start racing down my cheeks.

Please, God. Please.

Because He alone knows why I wasn't given the chance to save my cats.

Let this be enough.

And yet this time, it's different.

So please.

The dogs have finally reached me. They're my babies, too, but right now they have a job to do.

'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!'

The scent of blood has brought them here, and my heart only hurts when they start barking. It's not what they want, but it's what they've been taught to do.

'Se escapó!' He's escaped!