Chapter 57

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WARD

WARD COULDN'T take it anymore. Watching Charlie desperately search the apartment? It was too much.

He felt so empty. He'd been left. Again. The worst part was that he'd known it was coming. There had been something in Skylar's eyes lately. Something Ward hadn't been ready to face. Deep down, he'd known this was going to happen. He just hadn't expected it to come so soon.

Especially after last night.

Ward let his head fall back against the wall with a thunk . Last night had been amazing. More intimate than anything he'd ever experienced in his life. And not just in the physical sense. It had been his first time having sex without a condom, but the connection had gone so much deeper than that.

The trust required. The walls coming down to allow each other in. To be able to share something like that without fear. He'd thought last night would have changed everything for them.

And it had, apparently. Just not the way he'd expected.

Ward looked at Charlie. The poor boy was completely distraught, and Ward felt helpless to do anything about it. No matter what he said, no matter how tight he held the boy, Charlie was inconsolable.

And Ward felt the same. He was barely keeping it together. There was an itch right under his skin, a desperate urge to scream and rage and cry just like Charlie. It took everything he had to hold it all inside, knowing it would only scare the boy.

He couldn't hold it in much longer. For Charlie's sake, they needed some space from one another.

Ward got up, grabbed his phone, and called Dakota.

“ Hello? ” the boy answered almost immediately.

“Dakota? It's Ward.” He turned and eyed Charlie, still sitting on the floor in the bathroom, then headed to the farthest corner of the living room, as far from Charlie as he could get. “Listen, is there any chance you could take Charlie for a few days?”

“ What? Why? What's wrong? Is he okay? Is– ”

“He's okay,” Ward rushed to assure him. “For the most part.” Ward sighed. “Sky left.”

Silence greeted him. After a long moment, Dakota swore. “ Fuck! Like left left? ”

“Yeah.”

“ Goddamnit .” Harsh breaths sounded over the line. “ Charlie's a wreck, isn't he? ”

“Yeah.” Ward glanced at the bathroom. Charlie still sat there, his phone on the floor, his hands over his ears. “I can't just leave him alone here tomorrow when I go to work.”

“ Shit. Yeah. You're right. Bring him over. Or I can come get him. I'll make up a room. I'm pretty sure the one he likes is vacant right now. ”

“I'll bring him while you're doing that,” Ward offered.

“ Okay. Yeah. Thanks, Ward. ”

Ward ended the call, then paused to make sure he was calm enough before he strode over to the bathroom. He crouched down at Charlie's side, watching the boy. After a moment, he slowly reached out and rested a hand on Charlie's shoulder.

“Charlie? Hey, buddy. Can you listen for a second? When you're ready.”

The boy was silent for a long moment. Finally, he lowered his hands but didn't look up, his shoulders high and tense.

“I'm gonna take you to go stay with Dakota for a few days. Is that okay?”

Charlie rolled his head, his gaze wandering about. He was silent for so long, Ward started to wonder if he'd even actually heard him. Eventually, Charlie gave a dejected nod.

“Okay. Come on. Let's get your stuff.”

He helped Charlie up, then stood back and waited while the boy made sure all his things were still packed. Charlie fussed with his bag for several long minutes, checking and rechecking the closet. Ward had a feeling the boy wasn't looking for his own clothes, but Skylar's.

Finally, Charlie gave a big sigh of defeat, zipped his bag shut, and carried it out of the bedroom.

Ward pulled on his boots, then waited while Charlie fussed with his own shoes. The boy couldn't seem to get the laces to cooperate. Ward bent down to help him. When he stood back up, he saw Charlie staring blankly at the floor.

“Come on, buddy,” Ward murmured. “Dakota's waiting for us.”

Charlie shuffled around to face the door, then followed him outside.

The drive was tense and silent. As they slowly made their way across town, clouds began to roll in overhead. Ward breathed a bittersweet laugh. That was fitting. A storm would perfectly match the mood.

A light sprinkle began to fall just as they reached Living in Zin. Ward hustled Charlie inside before the boy could get wet, the clouds growing darker and more ominous.

Dakota ran down the stairs just as they were shutting the door. “I heard you pull in.” He practically slid to a stop in front of Charlie. “Hey.” Dakota hesitantly put his arms around his brother. “You okay?”

Charlie didn't respond.

Dakota pulled back with a wince. “Come on upstairs. I've got your room all set.” He gently turned Charlie and pressed a key into his hand. “I'll be right up to see if you need anything.” Dakota watched his little brother trudge up the risers, then turned back to Ward. “Thank you for this.” He paused. “How are you doing?”

Ward shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“I'm so sorry.” Dakota shook his head. “I gotta say, I really thought you guys were it, you know? All three of you. It seemed plain as day right from the start.”

Ward's heart clenched. It was all he could do to keep calm and still, itching to punch something instead.

“I should go check on him,” Dakota said, hooking a thumb over his shoulder.

Ward nodded. “Thanks.”

“Let us know if you need anything, okay?”

Ward nodded again automatically, but the only thing he needed was for Skylar to come back.

He turned and let himself out of the house just as the rain began to fall in earnest. Ward slowly made his way to the truck, not caring if he got soaked. He sank heavily into the driver's seat, moving on autopilot as he cranked over the engine, put the truck in gear, and headed back home.

The apartment was eerily silent when he returned. Ward stood in the entryway for a long while, feeling the emptiness like a crushing weight.

Maybe he was meant to be alone, just like his exes all said. Everyone had left him. That meant he was the common denominator. The underlying problem.

He wasn't worth loving.

Maybe what he had to offer simply wasn't enough. Skylar had been used to being wined and dined by wealthy men. Granted, that was all part of his job, but still. And even though Skylar had lived like a monk, the boy was still accustomed to fancy dinners and high society, surrounded by glamour and wealth.

Ward could never compete. Not with his simple lifestyle. It had been the same complaint with all of his exes, just one complaint amongst many. They'd wanted more. A bigger house. A fancier car. Luxurious dates. Ward had finally given in to those wishes with Kelly, thinking it was the only way to keep her, but she'd left, too.

He simply wasn't good enough.

Ward sat down on the couch and put on a show, but several episodes passed unnoticed. It was a distraction. Nothing more. Something to pass the time.

When dinnertime came, he managed a few bites of some leftovers, eating mechanically, then dumped out the rest. He left the dishes in the sink.

Charlie would hate that. But Charlie wasn't there to complain about it.

Ward skipped a shower and went to bed.

He woke the next morning and groaned when he saw the time. It was four-thirty. The same hour he'd gotten up every morning since the time change, thanks to his body adjusting to Charlie's habits. He half expected to hear the coffee machine percolating out in the kitchen.

But it wasn't, because he'd forgotten to set it.

Ward rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

When he woke again, he was already late for work.

“Shit!” Ward threw back the covers and sprang out of bed. There was no time for coffee or breakfast. He didn't even really have time for a shower, but he couldn't bear the thought of showing up for work without one. His parents had raised him better than that. He ripped off his clothes and jumped into the shower before the water had warmed up. Shivering, Ward quickly scrubbed himself all over. He rinsed, dried off, brushed his teeth, and ran to the bedroom to get dressed, leaving his dirty clothes and his wet towel on the floor.

He could deal with those later. Besides, there was nobody else there to care.

Ward choked back the emotion at that thought as he snatched up his wallet and keys, pulled on his boots, and ran out to his truck.

Traffic was light, considering he'd missed the morning rush. He parked his truck beside John's and hurried into the office, but it was empty. Ward ran back outside, then checked the barrel room and the storage warehouse before he finally found John talking to the vineyard manager in the midst of a nearby row of chardonnay vines.

The grapes were gone, everything long-since harvested. Now the leaves were turning red and brown and falling away, littering the earth between the rows. As far as the eye could see, green was fading, giving way to red and amber tones. Soon, the vines would all be bare, the naked branches reaching out like twisted claws, standing empty and forlorn until it was time for pruning.

Ward approached the vines and felt the sight like a punch to the gut. He seemed to be fading and falling apart, just like them. Stripped raw. Bare and twisted. Dying.

“I was just about to call you,” John said, approaching him while the vineyard manager took off in the other direction.

“I am so sorry,” Ward blurted out. “I completely overslept. It won't happen again.”

John eyed him. “Everything okay?”

“Not really, no.” Ward ran a hand back through his hair. It was strange to feel it damp. And in the cold morning air, it made him shiver. “Just tell me what you need done,” he said, changing the subject.

John gave him a nod, and they dove right into work.

Ward fought to focus and do as he was told, but his mind kept wandering back to the boys. Back to that crushing defeat he'd felt at the sight of Skylar's note.

By the middle of the day, Ward had dropped more things than he could count, forgotten important procedures, and nearly ruined an entire bottling.

John pulled him aside.

Ward braced himself. Whatever John had to say, Ward had coming to him.

John took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then said, “You're distracted. What's going on?”

Ward blinked, trying to mentally catch up. That was it? John wasn't mad? The man usually got so worked up when things didn't go well. Ward sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I'm sorry.” He tried to make an excuse, but wound up blurting out the truth instead. “Skylar left.”

John's frown vanished. “Oh. Shit.” He shook his head. “I am so sorry.”

Ward tried to wave it off.

“Tell you what,” John said. “Let's run into town and grab a beer.”

Ward frowned. “It's the middle of the day.”

“In this case?” John began with a shrug. “I'd say it's warranted.” He patted Ward on the shoulder, then pulled out his keys. “Let's go.”

Ward could do nothing but follow.

John drove them into town, picking a restaurant that didn't look too crowded. They got a table and ordered a couple of beers and burgers, then waited for the server to leave.

And Ward told John everything. How close he, Skylar, and Charlie had gotten. How he and Charlie had come home to find Skylar gone without a word of explanation.

“You know,” John said after a moment of silence, “I left Adam once.”

Ward nodded. He'd heard the story since the two men had gotten back together.

“I was a coward,” John admitted, “and I ran away. I've regretted it every day since that I didn't stay with him back then. We could have had so much more time together.” John paused, taking a sip of his beer. “It's possible Skylar did the same thing. Ran away while you weren't looking. Maybe he was afraid of something. Maybe he's hurting just as much as you are.”

Ward nodded. He knew that much. When he'd first brought Skylar away from the city, the poor boy had looked wrecked over the prospect of leaving Charlie behind. Especially when he'd admitted that he'd always planned to leave Charlie for good.

Wherever he was, Skylar was probably devastated.

“So what are you gonna do?” John asked.

Ward picked at the label on his beer. “What can I do? I have no idea why he left. Or where the hell he even went. What's the point, anyway? He doesn't want to be here. It wasn't like I could force him to stay.” Ward scoffed. “He left Charlie . If he could do that, leaving me was probably nothing.”

John winced. “Maybe he'll come back. Maybe you'll get a second chance, like I did with Adam.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ward mumbled.

But he wasn't holding his breath. He was certain he'd never see Skylar again.