Chapter 56

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CHARLIE

CHARLIE REFUSED to believe that Skylar was gone.

Their Sky couldn't be gone. Not now. They had plans! Ward said so.

Charlie had been so excited about the prospect of moving. It would be big and loud and frustrating, but also important.

He was ready. Going back and forth all the time was getting exhausting. As was living with his parents. Yes, his childhood home was safe and familiar, but he was an adult now. Had been for years. And he loved Ward and their Sky! It was time for them to take that next step. To be with them always instead of only getting to see them every other week or so.

Charlie hated being away from them. Missing them.

True, he'd miss his parents instead, but it was time. And his parents could visit, just like they did with Dakota. They could stay at Dakota's house since it had so many rooms, and Charlie, Skylar, and Ward could go over there to see them.

But then the three of them could escape back to their own house, where it would be quiet and uncrowded. Charlie could see his family but also have some relief at the end of the day.

He'd been so full of plans as they drove back to Paso Robles. Charlie had spent the drive thinking of all the things he wanted in a new house. The steps he'd have to take in order so he didn't get overwhelmed. First, he'd have to unpack again. That was frustrating, considering he'd just done it the day before, but that had to be taken care of before anything else. Then, he'd probably have to get something for lunch. Eating was important for thinking and making plans and decisions.

Then he could make a list.

There would have to be space in the kitchen for hungry soup. Ward's kitchen felt a little better now that he didn't have all that junk food crowding the cupboards, but they still needed more room. The layout wasn't quite right, either. Charlie wanted to move more things so they made sense, but Skylar had kept reminding him that it was Ward's place, not theirs.

But if they got a new house, it would be their place! They could arrange it together.

Still, Charlie knew he'd need certain things. Besides the kitchen, they needed a bigger closet. Ward's was cramped with all of their combined belongings stuffed in there. They even had to pile things on the floor! A dresser would help a lot. The bedroom in the new house had to be big enough to fit one. Even more so because Charlie wanted to buy Skylar some new clothes. What Skylar owned was so old and threadbare, besides being ill-fitting. Charlie wanted their Sky to have clothes that were soft and warm and whole.

He'd probably have to get a job in order to buy those things. Getting a job had always sounded so big and loud and scary, though, which was why his parents had him do chores around the house and paid him an allowance instead.

Maybe Charlie could do that at the new house, too! He could still do chores! He could keep the house clean and tidy while Ward and their Sky were at work. Then they wouldn't have to do chores after working all day. And he could cook! He hated cooking, but he'd do it. Then he'd know that Ward and their Sky were eating healthy food.

And when he ran out of chores, he could sit and read. Which meant the new house would need space for all his books! There was some space in Ward's living room now, sparsely furnished as it was, but then it would feel cramped. Charlie needed to not feel cramped.

Maybe a second bedroom! He could put all his books in there. And his desk! Then he'd have a place to put his laptop.

And, most important of all: There had to be space for a piano. Charlie wanted to buy one for Skylar so badly, except he'd never had enough money to do so. Besides, in Ward's apartment, it would be out of the question. There was simply no good spot to put one. But maybe there would be at the new house! Charlie would have to make sure of it, even if it took a really long time to afford it.

When they passed a store all done up for Christmas, Charlie had gotten even more excited. If they got a new house in time for Christmas, they could decorate! They'd have to get a place with enough room for a tree. And get more decorations! Ward had some, but they were going to need more. Charlie loved Christmas. He wanted it all over the new house. He wanted to wake up on Christmas morning with Ward and their Sky. They could sit in front of the tree with only those lights on, drink their coffee, and enjoy the pretty colors.

Except Skylar was gone.

Charlie put the empty hanger back up on the rod, then folded his shirt back into his bag. He stood there, eyeing the empty space in the closet. All of Skylar's clothes were gone. Charlie stepped forward and flipped through every single hanger, then searched the piles of clothing on the floor and the shelf above.

But there was nothing. Not a single thing that Skylar owned.

Charlie ran to the bathroom. The toothbrush cup sat on the counter—and Charlie really wanted it to be in the medicine cabinet instead—but that wasn't what stopped him in his tracks.

There was only one brush sitting in it. Charlie hadn't unpacked his yet, and Skylar's was missing.

Charlie yanked open the medicine cabinet, touching every single item in there, then searched through the drawers beneath the sink. No matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find any of Skylar's things. His hairbrush, his injection supplies, his deodorant—all of it was gone.

In the kitchen, there was a tiny, empty space where Skylar's supplements had been.

That left one last thing to check.

Charlie ran to the front door, then lurched to a stop. Ward's boots were there, as were Charlie's own shoes.

But those were it.

“He left, little mouse,” Ward murmured.

Charlie whirled around and saw Ward standing just outside the bedroom, a piece of paper in his hand.

“H-He's gone,” Ward choked out in a whisper.

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Ward had to be wrong. Their Sky couldn't be gone!

He darted back into the bedroom, starting his search over again. Maybe he missed something. If he found anything belonging to their Sky, then he'd know that Skylar would come back. He scrutinized the closet, the bathroom, the kitchen. Charlie opened every drawer, cabinet, and cupboard, hoping to see one pill, one sock, one anything .

But it was all gone. It was like their Sky had never been there.

“Charlie, he's gone.”

Charlie screamed and thrust his hands down at his sides. Skylar couldn't be gone! Not now!

“Here.” Ward strode towards him and held out the piece of paper.

Charlie took it. He scanned the words over and over. That was Skylar's handwriting. He knew it well.

But the note didn't say anything about why Skylar had left or where he'd gone.

Charlie turned the paper over and over in his hands, searching for any more words.

But there was nothing. Not a single clue as to why their Sky had left them.

Charlie dropped the paper and screamed.

Everything was so fucking loud! He couldn't stand it. Charlie crumpled to the floor, beating his fists on his head as tears streamed down his cheeks.

Skylar wouldn't leave him. Or Ward. It didn't make any sense!

Big hands grabbed him. Lifted him. Charlie found himself wrapped up against Ward's body. The man held him so tight, he almost couldn't breathe.

But he didn't care. Charlie burrowed in closer, feeling like he might splinter apart into a million pieces. Ward's arms were the only things keeping him together.

Charlie cried until he felt utterly drained. His eyes hurt, and his cheeks were wet. He hated being wet in any capacity outside of a shower. And his nose was both plugged and running, which was gross and annoying. It was all too much. He couldn't think. Couldn't focus. Everything just kept getting louder!

Ward picked him up and carried him into the bathroom, then grabbed a wad of toilet paper and pressed it into his hands. Charlie blew his nose over and over. He had to get more toilet paper because there was still more mucus to get out. By the time he finished, his nose felt like it was burning.

And he wanted to cry all over again.

Why? he demanded. Why Sky leave?

Ward sank back onto the counter and hung his head. “I don't know, buddy. I'm so sorry. I wish I knew.”

They stood there in silence. Outside, cars went by, their roaring engines and squealing brakes sending itchy, stabbing sensations all through Charlie's body. In the kitchen, the refrigerator rumbled. It was old and noisy and Charlie hated it.

But it also reminded him that he hadn't eaten lunch yet. That was a loud feeling. It was hard to think when he was hungry!

When he tried to think of food, though, his stomach felt like it twisted around inside him.

This was all his fault. If he hadn't left that morning—if he hadn't insisted on going home—they would have been there. Skylar wouldn't have been able to leave. They could have stopped him.

They could have asked why .

“I knew something was wrong,” Ward suddenly muttered. He shook his head, his hands tightening on the edge of the counter. “I knew it. Something was off, but I was afraid to ask him what it was.”

Charlie froze. Ward had seen that something was wrong, but Charlie hadn't? How could that be? Charlie always knew when something was wrong. Things were supposed to be a certain way. Always. He could tell at a glance when something was missing or not quite right. Granted, he wasn't good at reading emotions. Those could be confusing even when they weren't too loud.

But he'd been so overwhelmed by what they'd shared last night, maybe he hadn't been able to see past it. All he'd been able to think about was running away. Getting back home. Escaping all the itchy, noisy things all around him so he could clear his head and feel comfortable again.

What if that was what Skylar had done? What if it had been too loud for him, too? Maybe Skylar had simply felt the need for a break—a chance to recover from all the noise—just like Charlie had done.

Maybe Skylar would be back in a few hours, too. Charlie had changed his mind. Their Sky could do the same!

Charlie latched onto that hope and waited. He made himself eat lunch, knowing his body needed it, and then he settled in to watch the front door. Skylar would come back. He had to.

But the afternoon wore on. The silence and emptiness stretched. Charlie got up, peeking out the windows, then opened the door. Skylar wasn't there, but Charlie was still sure he'd come back. He checked outside over and over. Watching. Waiting.

Growing more anxious with every passing moment.

What if Skylar had snuck back in while he was in the bathroom? Charlie checked the whole apartment, going from room to room. In the small space, it didn't take long. He checked each room again, then went back to the windows and the front door.

Charlie fell into a pattern. Kitchen. Look out the window. Open the front door. Living room. Look out the window. Bedroom. Look out the window. Bathroom. Then start all over and do it again. And again.

“Charlie,” Ward sighed. “You need to stop.”

No! Charlie shook his head and ran the circuit again. He had to look out for Skylar. Their Sky would be back. Skylar had to come back!

Ward reached for him. “Charlie–”

Charlie yanked his arm free and kept going. He wasn't done with the circuit. He had to finish! Otherwise, he might miss something.

But he reached the bathroom yet again, with no sign of Skylar anywhere.

Charlie's phone vibrated in his pocket. He gasped and snatched it out. It had to be Skylar! But it was only a text from his parents, asking where he was and if he was okay. He should have arrived at their house an hour ago, and they were worried. He'd entirely forgotten to tell them he was changing his plans. The thought of a new house had been so exciting, nothing else had mattered.

He squirmed, staring at the text. The last thing he wanted was to waste time texting with his parents when Skylar was missing. But he knew they'd worry even more if they didn't hear from him soon. That would be loud and scary. Charlie quickly wrote out a text, telling them he'd decided to stay at Ward's place after all, then backed out of that thread and opened the one he had running with Skylar.

Me : Where are you?

Charlie stared at his phone, waiting. The three little dancing dots should appear any moment now, showing that Skylar was typing a response.

But nothing happened.

Me : Where are you?

Me : Where are you?

Me : Where are you?

Charlie sent the message over and over, but Skylar still didn't respond.

“ Hhnn! ” Charlie opened the phone app, chose Skylar's number, and held the phone out to Ward.

“Charlie–”

“ Hhnn! ” he insisted.

Ward let out a sigh, took the phone, and pressed Send . He brought the phone up to his ear. After only a second, Ward lowered his hand and shook his head. “Voicemail.”

Charlie frowned in confusion.

Ward held out the phone and started the call again. Sure enough, instead of Skylar answering, the phone didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail.

Charlie snatched the phone back and opened the tracking app. He selected Skylar's phone and waited for the app to show him a signal.

But Skylar's phone was off. The app couldn't tell him where it was.

Skylar could be anywhere.

Charlie slumped to the floor in defeat.

Their Sky really was gone.