Chapter Four

There was a flash of black and we stood inside Hilberto's. Juan Hilberto had bought an old donut shop, painted it a glow-in-the-dark orange and turned it into a Mexican food restaurant without an ounce of ambiance. The walls were covered with awful velvet paintings of matadors, tigers, and Elvis. The Mariachi music was a tad too loud, but the food was to die for.

We ordered our fajitas and since the music was so loud, we took our trays outside to a narrow patio full of battered picnic tables.

Placing my tray on a table, I kept a wary eye on the wasps buzzing around a nearby bush.

"In his report, Vorian stated Skye gave Badon large female breasts and a huge butt," Hothar said.

"She did after he almost beat her to death."

Hothar's eyebrows rose. "I'm surprised she didn't kill him."

"Death was too easy. She wanted him to suffer." I waved my fork around. "I mean, who's going to work for a mercenary with ginormous boobies and a butt the size of a Buick?"

"No one," Hot Lips answered with a grin. "How did Badon die?"

I swallowed a mouthful of rice. "Devi ate him."

"Devi?" Hothar dumped hot sauce all over his steak fajitas.

Zap! Zap! Zap! Zap!

I glanced over my shoulder. Huh? All the wasps were gone. Guess my hitchhiker was hungry too. "Devi is a sentient Rui tree Skye rescued from Marion's lab." I flashed Hothar the image of a bushy, turquoise sapling.

"Did Devi eat the witch too?"

"Nope. Skye incinerated Marion and her hatchlings with a shitload of thermite grenades."

"Our greatest fear is Mallox has cloned the witch," Uncle Saul added.

Hothar grimaced. "Can magic be cloned?"

"That is the million-credit question." My eyes widened in horror when Zarek teleported in with a smirking Aphrodite in his arms. "Oh, God."

A growl rumbled in Hothar's chest.

My hitchhiker let out a menacing yowl.

Uncle Saul drained his beer.

Aphrodite stroked Zarek's massive chest. "Do you work out? You're so muscley."

I spewed my drink. Muscley?

Zarek dumped her on her feet and stalked over to us. "The witch wanted to join you for dinner."

Oh, yay.

"Please, call me Aphrodite, sweetie. We are working together." She trotted after him and patted his butt. "You're firm all over.

My jaw dropped. Did she have a death wish or what?

A muscle twitched in Zarek's jaw as he sidestepped her groping hand. "A word, War Commander." Power roiled around him as he strode to the far side of the parking lot.

The smirk on Aphrodite's face made me want to throw her in the nearest dumpster.

Hothar planted a kiss on my cheek and whispered, "Do not kill her."

"No guarantees," I whispered back.

Poof! Hot Lips appeared next to Zarek.

Sashaying like a street walker, Aphrodite strolled over to the table and sat next to Uncle Saul.

"He's married and unless you want to die horribly, you need to stop groping my guys," I said nastily.

She shot me a withering glare. "I'll have a salad with low calorie, ranch dressing, Casey." She thrust her girls out. "I need to stay in shape, unlike some people."

The bitch!

Uncle Saul's hand clamped down on my arm. "Salads are not on Hilberto's menu, Aphrodite."

"I guess grilled chicken will do," Aphrodite huffed.

Ignoring the growling in my head, I snapped, "You order inside."

"You expect me to pay for it myself?" Aphrodite squawked.

I rolled my eyes. God, what a pampered princess.

"I'll get it." Uncle Saul teleported inside the restaurant.

The coward had left me alone with the witch. I searched my mind for some harmless subject that would keep me from throwing her in that dumpster. "Skye said you're a healer."

"I'm the best of the best," Aphrodite said arrogantly.

"And so modest too."

"My talents aren't highly overrated like yours."

I bared my teeth in a predator's smile. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"And we will keep it that way," Hothar inserted as he sat down beside me.

"Spoilsport."

Uncle Saul appeared next to the table with a plate of grilled chicken in his hand. He placed it in front of Aphrodite.

"What am I supposed to eat this with?" Aphrodite whined.

I pointed to two glass jars. One held forks, the other napkins. "Help yourself."

With a grimace of distaste, the witch grabbed a fork and poked at her meal. "Is this cage-free chicken?"

"Does it matter?" Zarek grabbed Aphrodite's plate and started eating her chicken with his fingers.

"Now that's just rude," Aphrodite huffed.

Menace oozing from every pore, Zarek snapped, "Shut up."

Aphrodite jumped to her feet. "I'm filing a complaint with the Overlord. You need to be taught some manners."

All of us stared at her in stunned disbelief.

Zarek seemed to be amused by her outburst.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get him on your communication thingy," Aphrodite demanded.

Not only was she clueless, but she also had a death wish. "Zarek is the Overlord."

Aphrodite frowned. "You're sure?"

"Very."

"Oh, my bad." Aphrodite eyed Zarek warily. "I need to pee." She rushed inside the restaurant.

Uncle Saul expelled a long breath. "Please tell me Shrek found a way to stop her constant fainting?"

"Aphrodite just saw Zarek at his most intimidating, and she did not faint," Hothar replied.

I started laughing. "Oh, my God, you're right. Shrek's a genius."

"Yes, he is." Zarek handed Hothar an injector. "She will need two ounces of fludrocortisone every other day."

Hothar tucked it away. "If she misses an injection, how soon before she starts fainting again?"

"Three hours." Zarek finished the chicken.

I took the last bite of my fajitas. "I have a hankering for some fried ice cream. Anyone else want one? My treat."

"I'm not sensing the witch," Uncle Saul said.

I mentally scanned the area. "Me, either."

"She is not showing up on my scanner," Hothar added.

I let out a long-suffering sigh. All I wanted was to spend some time with Hothar, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. "If she's using an illusion spell, we'll never find her."

"Check the lady's room, Casey," Uncle ordered.

"Yes, sir." I hurried into the restaurant. One look at the empty women's restroom and I knew she had flown the coop. A piece of metal on the floor caught my attention. I picked it up and linked with Uncle Saul, " Aphrodite ditched her tracker."

"I'm not surprised. Check out the shopping center to the west. She can't have gotten far."

"Yes, sir." I went out the back exit and noticed muddy stiletto tracks. The time I spent with the Chiricahua Apache had given me some awesome tracking skills. I followed the footprints to Candy's Cabaret. A big sign declared, Nude dancers! Call me dumbfounded. No sane woman would pick a titty bar to hide in. Oh, wait. Aphrodite was crazy as a June bug. The thunderous bump and grind music shook the front door.

"Did you find her?" Uncle Saul demanded suddenly.

"Maybe. I'll let you know."

I opened the door and stepped inside. Dang. It was darker than Hades. I stood for a moment letting my eyes adjust. Just my luck, the place was packed with drunken, horny men who were fascinated with the well-endowed dancer shaking her booty on the stage.

A biker dude grabbed my arm as I walked by his table. "How much for a lap dance?"

"I'm not a dancer. Let go of my arm or I'm going to do the world a favor and neuter you."

The biker dude laughed. "You're kinda itty-bitty to be making threats."

"It's not a threat. It's a promise."

"Tell ya what. I'll give ya twenty bucks, if you show me your titties."

"No. Let go of my arm." I sighed when the growling in my head started up again.

The biker dude's eyes bugged out. "What the hell is that? What the hell is that?" He jumped to his feet. "What are you?"

What was it? I hadn't a clue, but I knew my hitchhiker wasn't a threat to me. The biker was another matter altogether. "My buddy doesn't like you. I don't like you. What am I? I'm a psychic assigned to Central Command. The better question is: Do you want to live?"

"Yes." The biker stumbled backwards. "Keep it away from me."

"Okay. Leave now or I'll sic Hitch on you."

The biker fled.

Loud purring filled my mind. "Got a name?"

The purring stopped.

"I'll take that as a no. How do you feel about Hitch for a name?"

Hitch purred.

"Good."

Hothar demanded suddenly, "Did a male just touch you?"

"He did, but he's gone now," I flashed him an image of the biker running for his life.

"Why are you in a pleasure house?"

"It's not a pleasure house, it's a titty bar, and I'm looking for the witch." Hmm. I was surprised Hothar hadn't sensed Hitch.

"Why would the witch be in a titty bar?"

"That is the question."

"I am checking the light rail. When I am finished, I will join you," Hothar advised.

"Okay."

"Next up is Aphrodite, Goddess of Love," a voice shouted over the loudspeakers.

"No freakin' way. The witch wouldn't be stupid enough to audition as a stripper when we were hunting her, would she? Nah. It was just a coincidence. There were probably lots of dancers who called themselves Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love.

Aphrodite's bell-shaped breasts bobbed wildly as she ran out on the stage, wearing only a pink G-string.

Hitch made a noise like a cat hacking up a hairball.

Yep, that summed it up. What had happened to Aphrodite's dream of being a chorus girl in Vegas?

The men in the audience whistled and stomped their feet as Aphrodite humped the pole like an inebriated caterpillar.

"Move your ass," someone shouted.

The witch twitched her butt spasmodically.

Holy hell. Aphrodite had no sense of rhythm, nor could she dance. Ugh. Enough was enough. I wound my way through the tables and jumped up onto the stage. "Are you insane? We're leaving now."

Aphrodite glared at me. "Go away."

Dozens of cockroaches scurried over my sandals. "Wazzock's piss!" I hopped around like a crazy person trying to dislodge the little beasts.

Hitch trilled in excitement and the roaches began to vanish.

The men shouted, "Shake it baby. Shake it!"

Aphrodite shoved me. "Get off the stage. You're ruining my routine."

"Routine?" I did a tap dance on the bugs. "This is a cockroach-infested titty bar, not Vegas."

A man shouted, "Show us your knockers, red."

"You're spoiling everything," Aphrodite snarled.

"You'll thank me later. Where are your clothes?"

"I'm not leaving," Aphrodite shrieked.

An older man with a bad comb-over and a beer gut that would give a pregnant woman a run for her money stormed onto the stage. "Yes, you are leaving. I'm the manager and I'm telling you to get out."

"But the other guy gave me a job," Aphrodite cried.

"Consider yourself fired. You can't dance, and you have granny boobs."

"Granny boobs!" Aphrodite let out a howl of rage. "Sonitum!"

There was a cracking boom, and the manager went flying. He crashed into a table, flipping it over and spilling the men's drinks.

I frowned as the angry drunks jumped to their feet, grabbed the manager, and tossed him over the bar. The bartender pulled out a baseball bat and waved it at them. Great! The last thing I needed was for a fight to break out.

Hitch's angry yowl raised the hair on the back of my neck.

"Look at me! Look at me! I am utter perfection," Aphrodite shouted and started dancing.

Perfection? The witch moved like an arthritic seventy-year-old, and she was totally oblivious to all the nasty catcalls.

A man with a startling resemblance to a gorilla stormed onto the stage.

"You! You're the one who told me I had a job here," Aphrodite snarled.

The gorilla glared at her. "You need breasts implants, and dance lessons. Now get out or I'll call the police."

"Implants!" Aphrodite gestured with her hand and shouted, "Mensura lees sum!"

"Fuck!" The gorilla yelled as he was suddenly sailing across the room. His arms flailing wildly, he smashed face-first into the mirror behind the bar, shattering it. He slid slowly to the floor.

The bartender grabbed his bat and headed our way.

I glared at Aphrodite. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No one insults my girls."

"Who cares what they think!"

"I do!" Aphrodite waved her hand and chanted, "Yankata throne wasr."

The bartender's bat caught fire. He shrieked and dropped it.

Flames spread across the booze-soaked floor, setting a table and chair on fire.

The smoke alarm began to wail.

The sprinkler system kicked in, drizzling water over the room.

Hitch meowed pitifully.

"It's okay, little guy. It's okay."

Chaos erupted. The panicked patrons pushed and shoved each other in a desperate attempt to flee the growing fire.

Then again, maybe not. I couldn't teleport yet.

Aphrodite jumped up and down on a horde of roaches. "I hate bugs! I hate bugs!"

There was something seriously wrong with the witch.

Hitch hissed in agreement.

The crazy wannabe dancer finally noticed the men running for their lives. "Why are they leaving?"

"Duh. You set the building on fire."

Aphrodite blinked and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirrored tiles. The mascara running down her cheeks gave her the appearance of a demented clown. "My makeup is all ruined!"

"Put the fire out, you twit."

"No! Let it burn."

I jumped off the stage and headed for the fire extinguisher behind the bar.

"What is wrong?" Hothar asked.

"Aphrodite has lost her mind, and the situation is deteriorating rapidly."

Poof! Hothar was standing next to me. He quickly surveyed the growing fire. "Did the witch start the fire?"

"She did."

Uncle Saul walked in, pulled his laser pistol, and fired. A crackling, red energy storm knocked Aphrodite down. Screams tore from her as violent muscle spasms contorted her body. Her arms and legs slammed repeatedly against the floor.

I winced. Being stunned hurt like a mother and I hadn't seen my uncle this angry in a long time. "Now we know why Skye and Ella put her in a remote area of the Navajo Nation."

Uncle Saul gave me the stink eye.

"Just saying." I grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed the burning table.

Hothar pulled a cylinder from his right pocket and tossed it into the fire. Whoosh! A white mist exploded, dousing the fire.

"Cool. Can you get me one of those?"

Every inch the war commander, Hothar turned to me. "I can and why aren't you wearing your armor?"

"Ah, well, I was going to be spending time with you and didn't think I would need it. I mean you are the big, bad war commander," I said.

Hothar frowned. "Would not need it? Wherever you go chaos follows."

"I'm not responsible for this," I protested.

"But here you are," Uncle Saul snapped. "Wear your fucking armor belt."

"Yes, sir."

The gorilla got to his feet and swiped at the blood running down his face. "I want that crazy bitch arrested."

I felt Hothar's power surge. "You do not want her arrested."

"I do not want her arrested," the gorilla repeated.

"A cigarette started the fire."

His eyes blank, the gorilla nodded. "A cigarette started the fire."

"We were never here."

"Never here," the gorilla confirmed.

"Go get medical treatment."

The gorilla left.

Zarek entered the bar, inspected the damage and his gaze settled on Aphrodite. "Can she dance?"

"She's one of the worst dancers I've ever seen," I answered.

Zarek grimaced. "Ella said Aphrodite is a skilled healer, but between her sense of entitlement and propensity to panic, she is impossible to work with."

"Did you find another witch?" I asked hopefully.

"No. Bodhi is waiting for us in your office, General."

From the look on Uncle Saul's face, things had just gotten a whole lot worse. "Who's Bodhi?"

"He is one of Sariel's trusted commanders," Hothar replied.

An Askole warrior was the last thing we needed. "We need to keep him away from Aphrodite. She'll take one look at his tentacles and freak."

A glittering blue light formed on the stage.

"Guess he's eager to talk to you, Uncle Saul."

Zarek's mouth tightened.

The light faded and a seven-foot-tall medieval knight, complete with a horned black helmet and armor stood there.

Hitch growled menacingly.

Bodhi stared down at Aphrodite.

Aphrodite's screams got louder.

"Any way we can talk Bodhi into keeping his helmet on?" I asked Hothar on our private link.

"Unlikely. I want to know why Bodhi is here."

I shrugged. " A lot of Askole warriors are intrigued by human females."

"Aphrodite's antics would drive away even the most determined Askole," Hothar replied.

"True."

Her body twitching madly, Aphrodite wailed, "Make it stop. Make it stop."

Bodhi queried, "Was it necessary to stun the female?"

"Yes," Uncle Saul growled.

I really didn't like the possessive note in Bodhi's voice. I gave him a predatory smile. "Are you here to get yourself a hot-to-trot human female? Because if you are, it ain't gonna happen." To my utter surprise, neither Hothar, Uncle Saul nor Zarek corrected me.

Snikt. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Schlik. Within seconds his helmet retracted, revealing something out of a nightmare. Tentacles squirmed about Bodhi's snakelike features. Instead of skin, he had black armor-plated scales. His determined yellow eyes were fixed on me. "Do you belong to the Jones clan?"

"Casey belongs to me," Hothar inserted .

"I am aware of your situation War Commander."

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean?

Aphrodite's wails got louder and louder. "Make it stop. Please! Make. It. Stop!"

"As you wish." Bodhi knelt beside her.

Her eyes bugged and she screamed, "Go away. Go away. Go away."

Bodhi totally ignored Aphrodite's demands and let his tentacles nip at her neck.

The violent muscle spasms contorting her body stopped. With a shuddering sigh, Aphrodite's eyes closed.

I walked over to the stage and scanned the witch. She was sleeping. I stared up at Bodhi. "Why are you here?"

"I need a witch to complete my task."

"Which is?" I gave Bodhi a mental push .

Bodhi bared his lethal teeth. "Kill Mallox and rescue my son."

I felt Hothar's start of surprise and asked, " When did Mallox capture him?"

"Twelve hours ago." Bodhi tentacles flared. "I was told of your ability to loosen tongues."

I gave a slight bow. "A small talent."

"There should be no secrets between allies," Uncle Saul snapped.

Hothar scowled. "Where was he taken?"

"Dway was captured during the battle for Noxpa."

"What makes you think he still lives?" Zarek demanded.

Bodhi tapped his gauntlet, and a three-dimensional vid appeared over the stage. A badly injured Askole warrior was strapped to an examining table. Using a universal translator, Mallox looked into the camera and said, "If you want your son back alive Commander Bodhi, you will withdraw your warriors from Noxpa. If you fail to comply, this is what I will do to your son." The camera focused on a Kotsor/human hybrid. "You have three days to comply." The vid vanished.

"When did you receive the vid?" Call me worried.

"Four hours ago."

Hothar interjected, "Were you able to track the transmission?"

"Mallox and my son are on Diza, the painted planet."

"And why do you need a witch?" I gave him another mental push.

Bodhi's tentacles squirmed wildly. "Our scout was murdered by this female." A three-dimensional image of a young Marion appeared above the stage.

Hitch shivered violently.

"Oh, hell. Mallox did clone the traitorous witch," I groaned.

Fury lit Zarek's eyes. "How did she kill your warrior?"

"With a strange amber fire that burned through his armor and turned him to ash."

I studied the image. This Marion was around twenty and her skeletal body was covered in open sores. "She's dying."

"I agree." Hothar pointed to the infected wounds. "She has necrotizing fasciitis."

Uncle Saul smiled grimly. "Mallox's poor treatment of his test subjects will eventually lead to his defeat."

"Time grows short for my son." Bodhi picked up Aphrodite and slung her over his shoulder.

"Wait!" I jumped up on the stage and grabbed her leg. "Aphrodite is not a warrior. All she does is faint. Believe me, you can't depend on her."

"I will do what I must," Bodhi replied, and an energy field erupted around Hothar, Uncle Saul and Zarek.

"Have you lost your mind?" Before I could move, Bodhi's armored hand clamped around my arm. "Let go of me."

Hitch yowled furiously .

A glittering blue light engulfed us.

Wazzock's piss! I couldn't move. All I could do was watch my molecules whizz about. The Hothar's battle cry echoed in my ears as the titty bar vanished.