Chapter Three

There was a flash of black and poof! We were in my uncle's office. Aphrodite was wearing a bright pink catsuit which left little to the imagination. One look at her smug expression and my stomach knotted. What had she done?

Grrr!

Huh? My hitchhiker didn't like her either. So, the little guy was a good judge of character.

A lascivious smile curved Aphrodite's mouth as she examined Hothar. "He's perfect. Now get rid of the bitch."

My right hand balled into a fist. I was so going to enjoy breaking her nose.

Hothar wrapped his hand around mine. "I will handle this."

"Go for it." I stepped back.

Aphrodite's smile vanished when Hothar grabbed her around the neck and lifted her to eye level. "The next time you put my mate in jeopardy, I will kill you."

Aphrodite's eyes rolled back in her head as she fainted.

"Geeze, I told ya. No scary face."

With a grimace, Hothar dumped the wannabe goddess in a chair. "You expect us to work with her?"

"I do," Zarek said grimly. "Aphrodite is the only witch available."

"Lucky us," I groused and waved a smelling salts capsule under her nose.

Aphrodite's eyes snapped open, and she cowered in the chair. "Don't let him kill me. Please. Don't let him kill me. Please. Please."

"For God's sake, stop acting like a spineless bimbo," I snapped.

Aphrodite huffed, "I'm not a warrior. I'm a dancer."

"Dancer? What kind of dancer?" Call me intrigued.

"A Vegas show girl. I'm beautiful and have perfect breasts."

I fought back a laugh at the dumbfounded expressions on my guys' faces. "Yeah, but can you dance?"

"I had an audition with Premier Talent Agency, and then the stupid Tai-Kok ruined everything." Aphrodite buried her face in her hands and sobbed like her heart was breaking. "They ruined everything."

I grinned when my hitchhiker made a gagging noise.

Hothar's irritated gaze fixed on my uncle. "Is she at least a psychic?"

"She is," Uncle Saul replied. "But she refuses to use mind talk."

This ought to be good. I gave Aphrodite a mental push. "And why is that?"

"Because alien minds are icky," Aphrodite snapped.

"Let me guess. You tried talking to a Rodan or Tai-Kok."

"So? I thought I could reason with them."

I threw my hands up in disgust. "They're monsters who are only interested in eating us. They don't care what we think or how we feel. We're simply food."

"Their minds are full of violence." Aphrodite shuddered. "They crave our flesh."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Did you have a medic check the witch over for any signs of brain damage?" Hothar asked.

The look in Aphrodite's eyes had me stepping in front of Hothar. "Don't even think about it."

"You, see? That is how she treats me! I can't work with someone who doesn't respect me," Aphrodite wailed.

What a narcissistic bitch. "Respecting someone who faints on the battlefield will only get me killed."

"I should have never been put in that situation. I'm not a trained killer like you are."

I put a hand to my chest and staggered back a step. "Ouch."

"Enough," Hothar bellowed.

Aphrodite shrieked and slid off the chair in a dead faint.

Zarek rubbed his forehead as if he suddenly had a migraine.

"What she needs is the proper motivation," Uncle Saul announced.

"And what would that be?" I pulled out another capsule of smelling salts. "Threatening jail time or death doesn't seem to work for very long."

Uncle Saul's lips twisted into a cynical smile. "Aphrodite wants to be a Vegas showgirl. We make her one."

"A cunning plan, General," Hothar commented.

A delighted smile formed on my mouth. "It just might work." I broke the capsule under Aphrodite's nose.

She jerked upright, hissed like a cat, and swiped at me with her three-inch, bloodred fingernails.

Grrr.

Huh? My little hitchhiker had a ferocious growl.

"How badly do you want to dance in a Vegas chorus line?" Uncle Saul was wearing his friendly negotiator's face.

Aphrodite sighed. "I'd give my right arm to be a show girl."

Hothar and I exchanged amused looks. She had walked into that one.

"We will get you a job as a Vegas showgirl when you successfully compete the mission," Zarek added.

Alarm flashed across her face. "Mission? What kind of mission?"

"Disarming magical booby traps, hexes, death curses, and killing any monsters we come across," I answered.

Aphrodite chewed on her lower lip. "How do I know you'll keep your word?"

"You question my honor?" Zarek growled furiously.

Thud.

I sighed. "Do you think Shrek can come up with something to keep her from fainting all the time?"

"An excellent idea." Zarek picked Aphrodite up and teleported.

My stomach rumbled hungrily. "I'm in the mood for Mexican food."

"Today is all-you-can-eat fajitas at Hilberto's," Uncle Saul advised happily.

"Perfect." I wrapped my arms around Hothar. "Let's go."