Chapter 2

2

3 years later…

The morning had been busy and yet, Alison felt no relief returning to the castle. It was strange how the place she had hoped to reside in had all at once become her prison. The walls, though they allowed the sun to shine in, held no warmth. Once the doors closed behind her, the click of them sounding out her entrapment, she felt any warmth from the day drain away. It had been this way in the three years since Laird Anderson and his Lady’s deaths. Three years of mourning what could have been.

“My Lady, perhaps we should see about–” The maid’s words stopped when Alison reached the hallway leading to the bed chambers. The door to Liam’s room opened abruptly, spilling light into the hallway. When another maid stumbled from the room, her dress not yet affixed properly, Alison paused, her blue eyes staring straight ahead. It was not an uncommon scene, but one she had blessedly not borne much witness to. The maid froze when she realized she was not alone in the hall, but before she could fix her lips to say anything, Alison turned around and walked back the way she came.

“I had forgotten to task you with speaking with the maids of Laird Cormac’s estate. We must make a list to provide them with.” Alison’s voice held steady, betraying the pain she felt in the scene that was just before her. She continued on as if unperturbed. It wouldn’t do to let anyone see her upset. It would not change the situation she now found herself in; married to the mere shell of the man she’d hoped her husband would be. If the clan knew how she suffered, there would never be any end to the pitying looks. She could handle it in the keep, where she knew the maids and servants would keep their words tightly under their breath and behind closed doors so she couldn’t feel the whispers, but others may not be as discreet.

When Alison entered the foyer, she saw one of the elder maids trying to lift the edge of a heavy table, and she rushed forward to help. The maid looked up, eyes widening before she tried to stop Alison.

“Don’t strain yerself, my Lady. I’ve been lifting this table fer years now.”

Alison shook her head with a soft smile. “And may you continue, but with a bit of help. Really, it is no strain for me to help here and there. It helps the day go by quicker.” She wasn’t lying about that. She could have easily found herself wallowing in despair at the curve her life had taken, but Alison wasn’t the type to wilt away and fade into the background. She wasn’t raised to be sidelined when things went unexpectedly. She would forge ahead, creating a new path that worked for her.

The afternoon pressed on, as it often did. The castle ran like a well-oiled machine, with maids and servants bustling about taking care of their daily chores with hardly a word needed. It had been as such for years now, and though Alison often found herself lonely, she was hardly ever alone. The maids seemed to keep an account of her always coming in with a soft word or a poignant update on affairs related. She hardly had to seek them out, so adept they were at knowing her location. Perhaps it should have felt smothering, the constant vigilance, and yet it made her feel cared for in a way she had not gotten in her marriage, if it could even be called that.

Early evening found her walking into the kitchen, her spirits lifted as could be, given her lot in life. She was expecting to walk into a bustling chamber with maids about handling tasks for preparing the evening’s meal. She wasn’t expecting to find them crowded around one whose face was hidden behind cupped hands as her shoulders were racked with loud sobs.

“What is going on?”

Alison’s voice had them jumping in unison, with a couple turning to look anywhere but. The scene was one familiar to her, and she looked down at the crying woman. She schooled her expression into neutrality and tried not to let herself be overwhelmed by the need to lash out. It would do no good and would only serve to make those around her walk on eggshells when she was near. She needed the servants to trust her and remain open even in the face of her damaged feelings.

“It is of no importance, my Lady.”

When one of the maids stood rushing by, Alison couldn’t stop herself from reaching out, gently cupping the woman’s elbow and bringing her to a stop beside her.

“Please, I would like to help if I can. But I need to know what’s going on.“

The maid, Glenda, if Alison was remembering correctly, paused and looked over her shoulder. Alison understood what gave her pause, but she waited patiently. She knew it would do no good to push too hard. Alison wanted to maintain a cordial relationship with everyone in the castle, and being overbearing wasn’t the way to do that. Diplomacy was always the best option in circumstances such as these. Finally, as if getting some silent stamp of approval from the other maids, Glenda spoke again.

“It’s Emily, my lady. She’s pregnant.”

Pregnancy and a new bairn should have been an exciting occasion, and yet, Alison felt nothing but dread. Something fell heavy in her stomach, like a large boulder being dropped in a lake, the ripples of it spreading out and disturbing the stillness of the surface. Alison pasted what she knew had to be a brittle smile on her face before turning to the group. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to cry, and scream, and rage at the unfairness of it all. Three years and she should have been carrying the heir to the Anderson clan. Instead, she was trapped here in a ghost of a marriage with no end in sight. All she could hope to do was guard her heart and make sure the others didn’t suffer on her behalf.

Alison nodded before quickly reaching into her pocket, and pulling out a small change purse. The coins inside jingled as she walked over to Emily and held out her hand. Emily’s sobs subsided slightly as she looked up from between her fingers.

“What is this, my Lady?”

Alison’s smile still felt brittle, but she didn’t allow it to subside. “It’s for you and the wee bairn. Take it so that you may take care of them.”

Shock was written all over Emily’s face, as if that were the last thing she expected. And perhaps it was. Perhaps she was expecting to be promptly thrown out of the castle, but Alison knew that wouldn’t change anything. If she did what was expected, tossing her out without a care, then it would be on her conscience that there was a child out there somewhere unaccounted for, unloved.

“My Lady,” Emily started, looking up at Alison, her eyes shiny with tears. Alison couldn’t take it. She had to turn away, and when she did, her gaze happened upon Bain. She hadn’t even heard the man come into the kitchen. He cut an imposing figure standing in the doorway.

Bain was large, with broad muscular shoulders and a stocky build that showcased his strength. His gray eyes were similar to Liam’s, though they were much harder for Alison to read. He had an imposing aura, with his angular jaw covered in thick dark hair and a steely gaze always seeming to fill the room he entered. The first time Alison had met him, his height alone had been enough to catch her gaze, but when his stormy eyes had landed on and stayed fixed on her, she had been forced to look away. As Liam’s cousin, he was often at the castle, speaking with servants and sending them on errands throughout the clan. Even after three years, Alison was still finding herself getting used to his presence.

“Bain. What brings you here?”

His gray gaze scanned the kitchen, taking note of the crying maid and Alison’s less than genuine smile. He curled his lips up before holding out a hand to her.

“I came to invite you to stroll with me through the gardens. The day’s light is strong, and it should be enjoyed while it lasts.” His voice was rough and yet softened with each word. It wasn’t too unusual of a request. Alison often caught sight of Bain wandering through the grounds, sometimes alone, sometimes not. She sometimes saw Liam do the same, and yet not once had she been invited to join. “It is simply a request. You may decline if you wish.”

“Nay, it would be nice to enjoy the sunlight while there. I will join you,” Alison said softly. She followed Bain from the kitchen ignoring looks from the maids and servants that rushed around them.

The gardens were a thing of beauty. The groundsmen kept them immaculate, with colorful flowers tastefully dotting a lush green landscape. The sun gave it all an attractive glow and Alison found herself smiling much more genuinely in the face of nature’s beauty.

“You should do that more often,” Bain said, catching her attention. He wasn’t looking at her this time, sweeping his own eyes over the grounds. Alison couldn’t help but notice his strong jaw, enhanced by thick, wiry hair around his chin.

“Do what?”

“Smile.” His simple response had her cheeks heating as she looked away. “There’s not enough of that around here, and if anyone deserves to smile, it’s you.”

She shook her head and looked down at the ground. The sounds of their footsteps were muted on the thick grass underfoot. “I don’t think I’m the only one here deserving of a few smiles.”

Bain’s derisive snort had her swallowing hard. “If you mean that cousin of mine, I don’t think it’s a smile he deserves.”

She wanted to say something to defend Liam. Even with all that had happened between them, he was still her husband, the man she had pledged her life to stand beside. But she couldn’t deny there was a part of her that yearned for the passion of their first night. The night that changed the course of their relationship forever.

“You deserve more than silence, Alison.” Bain pulled up to a stop, and Alison continued on for a few steps before pausing as well. She couldn’t look at him at first, giving herself some time to gather her thoughts. Bain waited patiently. He knew his words had struck a chord in her, and he wanted to make sure they landed. He’d been watching this dance between his cousin and Alison with greedy eyes. If Liam didn’t realize what he had, Bain had no qualms against taking it for himself. He would be inheriting the clan after all and with that, he needed a strong woman with exceptional character by his side to help lead. Alison was just that woman, and it helped that with her fiery auburn hair, ocean blue eyes and milky white skin that pinked up so easily that she was a beauty to behold.

“Bain,” she began, not knowing what to say. His words were wanted, craved even, but they shouldn’t be voiced. Not by him or anyone other than the man who scarcely looked at her. “I do not think–”

“Alison,” he cut in, waving his hand to stop the flow of her words. “I don’t presume to overstep, but you are a woman who deserves everything and more. You are not someone who deserves to be sidelined and forgotten. I would never treat you as such.”

Alison turned away, but she felt the warmth of him at her back, not close enough to touch but close enough to prickle her awareness of their proximity. If it were Liam here, saying those words and being near enough to make her cheeks pink in excitement, she would have fallen into him without a thought. But this was Bain, not her beloved. These feelings were unacceptable, as were the thoughts that stirred with his words.

“I’m not asking for you to say anything right now,” Bain continued. His voice was quieter, as if aware that on the grounds they were never really alone, but his tone was still firm. “But your worth is so much more than that of my cousin.” He almost spat the word, as if the very thought of Liam was something less than acceptable. Alison could not deny his sentiments, and it was that realization that shook her. She took her leave of the conversation and tried not to let the echo of Bain’s words follow her back into the castle that seemed more of a prison than home.