Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Rosie

O ur win had been overshadowed by Alexander’s absence. Even though I’d gone to celebrate at the pub, my heart hadn’t been in it, and I’d gone home early the night before.

You keep letting everyone else make the choices for you, but when are you going to make your own?

Alexander’s words rang in my head. I’d repeated them to myself over and over the last few nights, agonizing over his words, little truth bombs that I hadn’t been prepared to acknowledge. The fact of the matter was he was right.

I’d grown up allowing my mother to drag me everywhere, accepting when she’d forgotten about me half the time, waiting for her to come back and take me somewhere else. Granted, I’d been a child, so the parent was in control, but it had established a pattern of accepting what life threw at you. Which wasn’t a bad mentality to have in the grander scheme of things, but when it came to being in charge of my own life, it clearly wasn’t working for me. I’d been so desperate for stability that I’d put the burden of building a foundation on my relationships instead of on myself. I needed to create my own life and my own safe space for myself. Nobody else could do that for me.

Certain that I’d found it here, in this bookshop and in the lovely little community of Kingsbarns, I knew I had to make a change. I could be my own stable base and provide the comfort that I’d craved my whole life by providing myself with a career that I loved and friends that made me laugh.

And love would only complement it, if I let it. I realized that I needed to be the one in the driver’s seat, which sounded silly when I thought it, but I’d been in the passenger seat for too long. Now I knew what I wanted, which was a future here as a bookseller and matchmaker, and I wanted Alexander as a part of my life.

Now I just had to convince him that my actions hadn’t been calculating when it had come to not sharing the matchmaking with him, more so that I was still getting my feet under me when it came to this new life. I absolutely should have shared it with him, and I would have, but I hadn’t gotten a chance to before he’d discovered it.

But I had a plan. A loose one, which involved some groveling and presents for Tattie, but it was still a plan.

Zipping up my coat, and checking my face in the mirror once more, I took a deep breath.

“You can do this. Go get your man, Rosie.”

Eye of the Tiger boomed from the speaker, and I laughed, giving it a thumbs-up.

“Thanks for the confidence, Moira.”

With that, I snagged a card I’d written for Alexander and slipped it inside the gift bag for Tattie. Now I just had to work up the nerve to knock on Alexander’s door and give it to him.

Kingsbarns had received the smallest dusting of snow that morning, enough that people were hopeful for a white Christmas, and I huddled deeper into my coat as the icy wind barreled across the fields. Still, a few people were out and about, and most gave a friendly wave as I passed. It was weird, this cheerful acceptance of newcomers in a small town, and I realized now that maybe this community was part of what my heart had been craving all along. I didn’t need a big adventure, at least not how Alexander had phrased it. What I needed was consistency and stability. A small life full of simple joys was the key to my happiness, and there was nothing wrong with that. It was something my mother had never understood, or it hadn’t resonated with her, and I had to accept that her path was her own. She shouldn’t have dragged her daughter along on it, but that no longer mattered. What did matter was the decisions I made for myself moving forward .

I wanted to sip tea while I read books by the fire and watch the moody winter light over the ocean. I wanted to stop in the supermarket and chat with my neighbors and make friends over our shared love of books. I wanted to build a future with Alexander, if he would have me, and settle in, right here, and find our peace. Together.

Even though I talked myself up the whole way to Alexander’s house, by the time it came into view, nerves derailed me. Immediately abandoning my plan to knock on his door, I veered right instead and stumbled my way over the dunes toward the beach. Maybe I needed just a few more minutes to gather my courage before I knocked.

Annoyed with myself for delaying, yet at the same time trying to give myself grace, I came out over the edge of a small cliff.

And saw a puffin struggling on the rocks.

“Oh no,” I gasped, as it tried to hop about, one leg dangling at an awkward angle. Unsure of what to do, I unwrapped my scarf and crept forward hoping to catch it.

The puffin paused, tilting its head at me.

“I promise I’m just trying to help,” I said, whispering softly, crooning to the little one as I crept closer. Ever so gently, I draped the scarf over the bird and scooped it up. To my surprise, it didn’t even struggle. I wondered if the poor thing was simply exhausted. Bundling it inside my coat, to keep it secure, I turned on the rocks to head for Alexander’s house when I caught my toe.

“Shit!” I gasped, turning to protect the puffin as I went down .

Hard.

Pain speared up my ankle and I winced as my back hit the sharp rocks. Somehow, I managed to twist my body so the puffin didn’t hit the rocks. I lay there for a moment, the puffin wiggling in my arms, tears spiking my eyes as I gasped for breath. For a moment, nothing came, and panic seized my throat.

You’ve just had the wind knocked out of you.

I repeated it over and over to myself until I could finally drag in a shaky breath, and then another, before I shifted on the rocks and sat up. The puffin was starting to freak out in my coat, and I was worried it would hurt itself more. Easing myself forward, glaring at the deep crater in the rock that I’d missed, I tried to stand.

And sat back down with a sharp cry of pain, my ankle unable to support my weight.

“No, no, no. Shh,” I whispered into my coat, tears streaking down my face. Murderous dark clouds had gathered on the horizon, a winter storm rolling in fast, and I had no other option than to call for help. Fumbling about, I reached into my pocket and called Alexander.

When he didn’t answer the first time, I called again.

“Please pick up, please pick up.”

This time, when his voice sounded over the line, I cried even harder.

“Rosie?”

“Help me. I need help. I’m hurt.”

“Where are you?” Alexander’s tone sharpened and I cried harder, choking on the words.

“At your beach. I rescued a puffin and I think I broke my ankle. I can’t move.” Just saying it out loud made the pain worse, and the reality of my dire situation set in. How was I going to get off this beach and save the puffin at the same time?

“Don’t move.”

Like I could. Alexander had already clicked off, so I just did my best to soothe the puffin, wrapping the scarf a touch tighter around its wings so it didn’t flap about so much, and waited. It wasn’t long before I spotted Alexander coming at a dead run over the dunes, in just gray sweatpants and a hoodie. He must have been relaxing at home in front of his fire, a spot I desperately wished I could be in right now.

“I’m here,” Alexander said as he skidded to a stop by me, crouching.

I cried even harder. I couldn’t seem to stop.

He’d come for me.

Without a second thought.

I loved him. Oh, God, but I loved him. The truth slammed into me, and I gasped, not from pain this time. No, from the understanding that this man had irrevocably changed my life.

“Are you hurt anywhere else? Is it just the ankle?” Alexander ran his hands across my head, checking for blood.

“Bruised, I think. But just the ankle.” Angling my coat, I looked up at him through the blur of tears. “I have a puffin in here. Also with a broken leg.”

“Of course you do.” Alexander shifted and put his arms around me .

“What are you doing?” I gaped at him.

“Just hold tight to the puffin. I’m going to lift you.”

“You can’t lift me from a squat, Alexander! I’m too heavy!”

“Wheesht. Just let me carry you.”

I squeaked as he did just that, lifted me from the rocks and cradled me in his arms as I held tight to the puffin, crooning into my coat. He strode across the beach, as the first drops of rain stung my face, and I burrowed deeper into his arms, my emotions an absolute mess inside me.

By the time we reached his house, an ambulance had arrived.

“You called the ambulance?”

“I didn’t know how bad it was and I wanted to be sure I had proper medical help available.”

A paramedic with a stretcher moved toward us and Alexander placed me gently on the stretcher.

“Here. You have to help her,” I said, motioning to the puffin. The paramedic looked down at the bird and shook his head.

“I don’t do birds, lass.”

“I’ll take her.” Alexander reached for the puffin, and I handed her over, trusting that he knew what to do.

“Right to the vet? You’ll make sure she’s okay?” I was worried.

A brief smile crossed Alexander’s face and his eyes softened when he looked down at me.

“Aye, lass. I’ll take care of her.”

“And this, give this to Tattie.” I handed the gift bag, which was still hanging off my shoulder, to Alexander who took it with a bemused smile.

“I will. I’ll call Esther and make sure she knows where you are,” Alexander said. He tapped the paramedic’s shoulder, who was already urging me to lie down so he could take my boot off. “Take care of her. She’s important to me.”

My heart swelled.

And then he walked away.

There was nothing else to do.

Nothing else to be said.

It had happened so fast and now we both had bigger problems on our hands than our miscommunication. Alexander had to save another puffin and I had to see if my ankle was broken.

This was not how I’d planned my apology tour.

“Come on, lass, lie down. The rain’s coming on something fierce.”

Lying back, I blinked at the storm clouds as the rain sheeted over me and I was loaded into the ambulance.

“Do you have someone we can call, lass? An emergency contact? Or will your husband meet us?”

“He’s not my husband,” I said, weakly, as they slipped my boot off and stabilized my ankle. “And no, there’s nobody to call.”

I couldn’t help but feel so wildly alone as I was driven to the hospital, realizing I didn’t even have an emergency contacts list. I’d been alone so much of my life, but this was the first time I felt so bereft. I might be important to Alexander , but I wasn’ t his to claim.

I was still a stranger in a strange land. I desperately wished that Jessica would be here, my one person I could rely upon, giving the comfort I so desperately wanted.

Instead, I’d just have to figure this one out on my own.