Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Alexander

“ Y ou’re sure you want to do this?” I asked, handing Rosie a pair of binoculars.

“Get up early and walk in the cold when your bed is so much warmer?” Rosie raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed.

I’d been laughing a lot the last few days.

Good, no, great , sex was bound to boost anyone’s mood. But it was more than that. It was just well, hell, Rosie was just plain fun to be around. She had a cheerful approach to life, so long as she could follow all her lists, which I very much appreciated. The way she went about tasks made sense to me, and we often found ourselves comparing our daily schedules and making notes on where one could improve. Efficiency was a turn-on it appeared, because every time she added me as a to-do on her list, I’d bend her over a table.

Just to cross off an item on the list, naturally.

“It is, but just think how much warmer it will feel when we get back.”

“Plus, you’re carrying my shopping home.” Rosie patted her coat pockets, looking around. “Where is my grocery list?”

“Pocketbook?” I asked, pointing to where it had been left on my kitchen counter.

“Sure, have a look.” Rosie unzipped her coat and dug in an interior pocket while I unzipped her handbag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Seeing the neat title at the top, I blinked up at her in amusement.

“I’m not sure that Tesco sells what you’re looking for here.” I waved the paper in the air and confusion crossed Rosie’s face.

“What’s that?”

“What I want in a man,” I read out loud and her cheeks paled.

“Give that to me.” Rosie lunged, but I stiff-armed her and held it closer to read.

“Since we like to share lists so much.” I laughed as she tried to wrangle closer and squinted at the page. “Let’s see. Tall. Broad-shouldered. Ah, there’s that shoulder kink I knew about.”

“Damn it!” Rosie laughed, trying to duck under my arm.

“Trustworthy.” At that, I paused and looked down at her. As much as I wanted to read the rest of the list, it was hers to share or not. If I wanted to respect her, I had to hand it over. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” Rosie snatched the paper from my hand, blushing.

“But if you want to share it with me, I won’t mind. We could compare lists.”

“You have a similar list?” Curiosity popped into Rosie’s eyes.

“Not written down, but I have it here.” I tapped my head.

That was a lie.

I didn’t have a list.

Not really.

And if I did, it would just have one word on it.

Rosie .

But it was too soon for all that, and I needed some time to get comfortable with how seamlessly she’d fit herself into my life.

“Well, in the nature of transparency then.” Rosie walked to the kitchen counter and smoothed the paper out, and I leaned over to have a look.

“Interesting hobbies.” I looked up at her. “Does birdwatching and board games count?”

“Absolutely. I guess I should have clarified that they might be hobbies I also enjoy.” Rosie gave me a shy look.

“Ex-boyfriend had boring hobbies?”

“He gambled. On sports. It was sort of all-consuming for him and deeply uninteresting for me. Do you gamble? ”

“Nah, maybe a cheeky bet among friends here and there. Not a proper wager or anything of the sort.”

“Good to know.” Rosie sniffed. She tapped a finger on the paper. “Likes to read.”

“A good thing for a bookshop owner,” I agreed. Thank goodness I loved to read. “I also like a partner that enjoys books.”

“Enjoys travel.”

“Naturally, exploring is always good.” So long as she didn’t want to travel every weekend. I liked some consistency in my life. But travel meant I could possibly up my score on BirdFindr.

“Sense of humor. Intelligence. A kind heart. Won’t leave me.” At the last one, Rosie’s fingers clenched, wrinkling the paper, and I reached out and traced a finger across the back of her hand, wanting to ease her obvious tension.

“Because your mum left a lot?” She’d told me about her chaotic upbringing, and I could understand why she craved stability in her life. I was much the same, but that was because I’d grown up in a stable environment that I’d really enjoyed. After the chaos of Tara, I was happy to be finally back to my baseline of a consistent and reliable routine.

“I just want someone to choose me, I guess, and to put me first. I don’t want to be an afterthought anymore.”

“I understand.” I did, but for different reasons. My ex-wife had made so many decisions without me, that being kept in the dark had torn us apart—and that was long before she’d started cheating on me. She’d wanted the excitement of doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and I’d hated feeling like I never had all the information. That I was inconsequential in her life because she didn’t share even the most basic of things with me like wanting to book a trip to Wales for the weekend. Simple things, but it had eroded our foundation of trust. So, yes, I understood wanting to be put first in someone’s life. It should be a priority. “My ex-wife made a game out of hiding things from me. She seemed to find it fun, this keeping me on my toes, but I just realized after a while that I wasn’t really her person. It would be nice to be an actual partner with someone someday.”

My breath left me. It was the first time I’d articulated that I actually wanted to take a chance on a partner again. Hope bloomed. Maybe this Christmas season wouldn’t be so lonely after all.

“It’s tough, isn’t it? Feeling out of control in someone else’s choices?” Rosie shook her head. “I think that’s why I settled into a tepid life for a while. In some respects, the blandness soothed me.”

I wondered if Kingsbarns would do the same, and then one day she’d wake up and realize that it was too boring for her and on she’d go. Off to another big adventure.

A shaft of sunlight speared through the window, and I shook my head. Those were heavy thoughts for a morning of birdwatching with my friends-with-benefits friend.

“Och, well you’re in for a treat this morning. Because there is nothing bland about birdwatching.” I leered at her and Rosie laughed.

“Oh, I can imagine. I mean, it must be riveting,” Rosie teased, and I held up my phone.

“Here’s the main one we’re looking for. A cedar waxwing. Quite rare to the area, but we’ll luck out if we see one.”

“And then you’ll advance in your ranks on BirdFindr?” Rosie squinted at the photo.

“That’s the plan.” I zipped up my coat and hung the binoculars around my neck.

“Let’s do this. I’m ready to kick some birdfinding ass.”

Two hours later, and Rosie was still enthusiastic. I couldn’t believe it.

Not once did she complain as we trudged across frozen fields, bitter winter wind making our cheeks ruddy with the cold. Moody clouds hung low over the slate-gray ocean, white caps marring the choppy surface. We’d wandered along the beach for a while before we’d tucked ourselves away in a forest near Cambo Gardens, the ancient trees a canopy over our heads.

Never once had she moaned about the bitter cold or scrolled her phone mindlessly.

Instead, she’d alternated between chatter and silence, patiently waiting when I posted up at a spot, scanning the horizon with my binoculars. She never pressed me to head home early, instead happy as can be, clutching a thermos of coffee in her hands. My ex would have been bored out of her mind, but instead, Rosie was genuinely enhancing my birdwatching experience. She was so genuine. Trustworthy.

“Alexander. Look,” Rosie hissed, her binoculars trained on a tall tree spearing up from a ravine. “Is that it?”

I raised my binoculars, excitement flowing through me when I saw the cedar waxwing perched in the tree. Quietly, I lifted my camera and took a few photos before turning to beam down at Rosie.

“You’ve just advanced to a new level, Rosie,” I whispered. Helpless not to, I leaned down and kissed her gently, her lips cold against mine.

“What’s the level?” Rosie whispered back.

“Official bird nerd. Welcome to the club. We’re pretty friendly over here.”

“I want a badge.” Rosie grinned at me.

“I’ll make you one. Along with the no wankers allowed for your bird feeder,” I promised her. Happiness ballooned inside me. It was grand, this sharing of small moments together.

Maybe, just maybe, Rosie’s list might have led her to me for a reason.

“Come on. Let’s upload these photos and make the other birders jealous.” Grabbing her hand, I tugged her back home, my heart full.