Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Rosie
“ I ’m sorry, what was that? Did you just say friends with benefits?” Jessica screeched into the phone. “Yes, Queen . I am loving Scottish Rosie. Loving it. Yes , this is what I wanted for you.”
“Would you stop? It’s not a big deal.” I shrugged and glanced nervously toward the door. It was around the time when people would start showing up, with complete disregard for any actual posted opening hours at my shop. This did not annoy me as much as it would have if I’d still been working at the discount store.
“It is for you. You never do stuff like this.”
“Sure I do.” Did I? Maybe I didn’t. I kind of just moved seamlessly between relationships. I couldn’t quite remember anyone cornering me in a closet before and giving me the best pleasure of my life with just a hand though.
“Please, girl. Lie to yourself all you want. But not to me. Look, I even got you a shirt.” Jessica went off screen before returning with a shirt with a fat Santa on it.
“ Where’s my ho ho ho’s at? ” I read and glared at Jessica while she threw her head back and laughed. “I am not a ho.”
The speaker flipped on next to me and started playing There’s Some Hoes in this House and Jessica laughed even harder. It’s clear Jessica and Moira would have gotten along.
“Oh my God, perfect timing on that song. Told ya.”
“Yes, perfect timing.” I glared at the speaker, flicking it back off. I hadn’t yet told Jessica about the magick here. We hadn’t managed to get past my love life.
“But I do hope you’re entering your ho era. Every woman needs one.”
“Did you really buy that shirt for me?” I asked.
“Nah, I bought it for a Christmas happy hour I’m going to. But it fit.” Jessica grinned at me as the door to the shop swung open.
“Bitch,” I mouthed and waved at Edina poking her head in the shop. “Gotta run.”
“Bye, ho,” Jessica whispered, and I clicked off, laughing.
“Edina! How are you?” I asked, pleased to see her. Today she wore a cheerful scarf in rainbow colors and her eyes were bright as she crossed the shop to me.
“I just nipped out to get the messages and wanted to pop by before you opened. Is anyone else here?” Edina looked around the shop.
“Nope, just me.” And a cheeky ghost.
“Oh that’s grand. Right, so Samuel…”
“Yes?” I looked at her eagerly.
“Oh, he’s a dream, Rosie. Just a dream.”
I squealed and rounded the table to give her a hug. Pulling back, I held her arms and beamed at her.
“I’m so happy for you. I was hoping you two would hit it off.”
“We really did. Just I don’t even know.” Edina stepped back to pace. “We’ve had dinner three nights in a row now. We just can’t stop talking. It’s incredible. I wasn’t expecting to really make a match, and well, so it is then.”
“This is great, really, really great. I’m so happy for you both.”
“Do I owe you anything else?” Edina looked at me, her lips thinning.
“I don’t think so?” Did she?
“Och, I wasn’t sure if there was, I don’t know, a closing bonus or something. Or a bonus if you made a match.”
That would be smart . I waved the idea away. I wasn’t in this for money. Well, I was barely in it at all. I was still learning the ropes and toying with magick, so it was best that we just left things the way Moira had run them in that department.
The door opened and an alien poked its head in.
“Um.” Edina looked from me to the door .
“Just another day at Highland Hearts,” I said, grinning as the inflatable alien blow-up doll waggled its head back and forth.
“Must be another client looking for love.” Edina grinned and gave me a quick hug before pausing at the door as Alexander ducked inside holding the alien doll.
“You do you, darling.” Edina patted Alexander’s arm, giving a pointed look to the doll before she continued to the street.
Alexander blanched and turned to the street. “No. It’s not like that .”
I buckled over, laughing.
“I mean, it could be like that. No judgment, right?” I gasped, wiping my eyes.
“I brought this in for the window.” Alexander put the green blow-up alien on the table and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Don’t let Meredith steal it.” I laughed even harder when Alexander winced.
“Also not an image I want. Listen, what if we just moved on entirely from any alien sex discussions?”
“Did someone say alien smut?” Meredith sang, poking her head in the door, and I collapsed again, holding my hand at my side.
“No. Nobody said that,” Alexander rushed to explain.
“Ohhh, is that a blow-up doll?” Meredith’s grin spread even wider, and I howled, crossing my legs because I was quite certain I was going to pee my pants at any moment here. “Alexander, I had no idea you were a bad boy.”
“I can’t.” Alexander turned and banged his forehead against a bookshelf.
“I’m dead. I’m dying.” I fanned my face, trying to control my giggles.
“Where’d you get this cutie?” Meredith tapped the blow-up doll.
“You’ll have to ask Alexander for his source for blow-up dolls.”
“It’s not a source.” Alexander whirled on me. “You make me sound like I’m a dealer.”
“Lot of money in sex toys,” Meredith commented, unpacking the box of decorations she’d brought with her.
“It’s not. I can’t.” Alexander threw up his hands. “I’ve exceeded my tolerance for social interactions today and it’s not even ten in the morning. Good day, ladies.”
With that, he stormed out of the shop while I howled in laughter. Esther came in just then, with Shannon and Cherise on her heels.
“Someone’s a bit tetchy today,” Esther commented, nodding out the door while she unwound the scarf around her neck.
“I think his social battery is drained.”
“Maybe he’s just worn out from his blow-up doll.” Meredith held up the alien and the Book Bitches crowed with delight.
“Is that his toy?” Cherise looked at me like I would know the answer to Alexander’s bedroom contents. I mean, I might, someday, but we hadn’t leveled our friendship up quite that far yet. Alexander had been busy with final exams for his students, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to call him and ask him to come by. Yet.
“He brought it in for the window, but Meredith derailed the conversation and managed to make it sexual.”
“Me? I wasn’t the one talking about sex when I walked in the door.” Meredith fluffed her hair like she was meant to be minding her own business.
“You two were discussing sex?” Esther scoffed. “What’s there to talk about? You either want to have it or you don’t. Kids these days. Waste too much time talking.”
“Can we focus on the window design please? You all read too many romance novels.” Pulling out the diagram for the window, I pursed my lips. “We need to land on a song for the music.”
“I think I know,” Esther said.
The speaker flipped on, and David Bowie’s Life on Mars began to play.
“Damn it, Moira. That was my big reveal.” Esther snapped her fingers in the air and dropped her tote bag on the table in disgust. “She always loved being the center of attention.”
“That’s a perfect song,” I said.
And it was. If there was one advantage— and I used that term lightly— to my mother being absent throughout my life, it was music. Perhaps I used it to drown out my sadness, or maybe it became my friend when I felt so alone otherwise. But it had given me such a good memory for songs, and for song titles. What was weird though was how Moira seemed to know that. I wasn’t an encyclopedia of song names by any stretch, but she’d somehow picked easily identifiable songs that I recognized from the introductions. How is it possible that we’re so in sync, even though we never met?
“Well, let’s get to it, ladies,” Cherise said. Meredith had disappeared into my kitchen to make tea, something that I was more used to now, and my phone pinged with a text.
Nice to meet you the other night. Fancy a drink tonight? I leave this weekend.
I paused, my finger hovering over the keyboard, as I thought about it. Did I want to have a drink with a handsome, unattached man? Jessica would be screaming at me to accept. But the thing was, I just wasn’t sure what the point was. I didn’t want to be careless with Alexander’s request for exclusivity, and I also wasn’t looking for love.
Nice to meet you too. I’m sorry, I’m slammed this week. Safe travels back.
Putting my phone down, certain I’d made the right decision, I looked up as the bells jingled at the door.
“Ah, Daniel. Good to see you.”
I’d invited him here today because I’d been playing with my magnifying glass, which I’d since learned is also called a quizzing glass. Because I’d had a niggling suspicion that sometimes, maybe it was okay if two people’s favorite book was the same. I had to spend some time thinking about what the connection would be, but when it had come to me late last night, I rushed into the shop and wrote their names together along with the word.
Banter.
It had risen off the page in all its shimmering glory. Now, I just had to figure out how to put my plan into action without making my mark suspicious. Because she was a contrary old goat, I knew as soon as she sniffed out my intentions, she’d march the other way just to be difficult.
Daniel looked particularly dapper today with a suitcoat worn over a soft green sweater and tweed pants. A smart newsboy cap was tucked on his head, and frankly, I was surprised one of these women hadn’t gone after him yet. He was very handsome.
“You as well. How has the window decorating gone?”
“It’s coming along.” I moved around the table and hooked my arm through his, pulling him past the disco unicorn to where the women huddled by the window. “We’re going with an outer space theme this week.”
“Christmas in space. Stellar,” Daniel said.
Esther raised her head and looked him up and down.
“I’d say interstellar, wouldn’t you?” Esther held his look.
“Ah, I stand corrected. I must have spaced out.” Daniel grinned as Esther sniffed.
“It’s important to pay attention. We take things very Sirius-ly here.” Esther’s face was a mask as she braided silver twine together.
“I’ll make sure to approach the situation with the utmost gravity, of course.” Daniel tipped his cap.
The Book Bitches had stopped what they were doing, their heads swiveling between the two like they were watching a tennis match.
“Be sure that you do. We can’t have your interruption eclipse our work.”
“Of course not, I’d hate to ruin the atmosphere.” Daniel’s grin widened and it took everything in my power not to jump up and down in excitement.
“Everything will be perfect, because that’s how I planet.” Esther studied her twine, but I caught her quick glance at Daniel. She was interested. The outer space puns were killing me, and I wanted to jump in with some of my own, but I would never ruin this moment for them.
“Naturally, I am sure everything runs smoothly so long as everyone craters to your every whim.”
“It can be a bit of an emotional solar coaster with these three, but we get the job done.” Esther’s eyes lit with appreciation at her own pun.
“No comet.” Daniel’s grin widened when Esther flashed him an annoyed look.
I wondered who would back down first. For Daniel’s sake, I hope he bowed out and gave Esther the win.
“We have to get back to work. I don’t want to get the constellation prize.” Esther gave Daniel the side-eye as she pulled out more twine.
“I certainly hope to see you again, lunar than later.” With that, Daniel tipped his cap and turned, with what I thought was a perfect exiting line.
“Don’t hold your breath, or you’ll be all suited up with no space to go,” Esther called after him, and he just chuckled as he left the shop.
“Esther!” I whirled on her. “That was rude.”
Esther just shrugged a shoulder. “Just a bit of banter, lass. He’ll be fine.”
“He was cute,” Meredith said, an arm still around the alien blow-up doll.
“He was very handsome, Esther,” Shannon agreed.
“You should give him a whirl,” Cherise agreed.
“Nah.” Esther shook her head. “Didn’t fancy him.”
“Why not?” I demanded. “That was great. He seems very clever.”
“Nope, not for me.” Esther turned and began to tack up the silver twine.
Shannon met my eyes behind Esther’s back.
“In that case, I might give him a go. Rosie, would you be able to introduce us?”
“Oh, is he not from around town?” For some reason, I just assumed everyone knew each other in this place.
“I haven’t seen him before. He must be from one of the neighboring villages.”
“I’ll be happy to put in a word for you next time he pops in.”
“Oh good. He was too cute.” Shannon grinned at me as Esther sniffed, and then used a staple gun to loudly drown us out.
“I certainly think so,” I continued. Thwap.
“I love a newsboy cap on a man,” Cherise agreed.
Thwap.
I grinned, knowing Esther was annoyed. The speaker flipped on, and I bit back a laugh as Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin filled the air.
Thwap.
“Need any help there, Esther?”
“Bloody hell, do any of you ever stop talking?” Esther put the staple gun down and grabbed her pocketbook. “I’m going to Two Sisters for a latte. See if you ladies can stay on track while I’m gone.”
With that, Esther sailed from the shop, her head held high.
“Oh, she’s bothered by him. I haven’t seen her like this in years,” Cherise observed.
“She’s definitely flustered,” Shannon agreed.
“How do you know?” I asked, hope blooming that maybe there was a chance for a match between Esther and Daniel.
“She doesn’t drink lattes.”
“Ahhhh.” My phone pinged with a text, and I glanced down to see a message from Alexander.
Tattie just told me he misses you and would like you to come see his new enclosure.
Grinning, I wandered back to the front of the shop.
Well, I certainly can’t let Tattie down.
Perfect. Can you come by this afternoon? That way you can see it before dark. I’ll make dinner.
Tattie and dinner? Even better. What can I bring?
A smile.
I sent him a smile emoji and looked up when a throat cleared.
“Loverboy?” Meredith asked.
“No, my friend Jessica.”
Liar by Camila Cabello popped on the speaker and Meredith grinned.
“You said you liked Moira, right?” I pitched my voice over the music, annoyed. “Because I’m having a hard time seeing it.”
“Oh yeah, she’s the best.” Meredith blew a kiss into the air.