Chapter 34

Though it was Salvador’s idea to meet, Simon is happy to host the others in his home, where they all sit in a circle on the blue velvet chairs in the living room. Salvador and Liisa are on either side of him, Reese and Baljit across from him. It’s as close to a family as Simon has these days. But JJ’s absence is palpable. And there’s an edginess to the gathering. It reminds him of how awkward and painful things got with the band after Jeremy’s suicide. Nothing was ever the same, and the band soon dissolved. He wonders if that will be the fate of the tribe, too.

“I heard a rumor that JJ was drinking again,” Baljit says.

“Who told you that?” Salvador asks.

“A friend,” Baljit says. “Her little brother is a paramedic in Newport. He says they found empty bottles at her place.”

“JJ was drunk most nights before she began treatment,” Liisa points out. “And she never jumped then.”

“But she was completely bent out of shape over Elaine’s OD,” Simon says.

Salvador nods vehemently. “And throw in the shame of having fallen off the wagon…”

Baljit glances from Salvador to Simon and shakes her head. “Is that what you figure, doctors? That’s literally what pushed JJ over the edge?”

Reese’s head snaps toward the other woman. “What’s wrong with you? Is nothing off-limits?”

“She wasn’t exactly my friend,” Baljit says unapologetically. “Besides, sometimes humor diffuses the tension.”

“Well, she was my friend. And you’re not funny.”

Simon has a mental image of the two women naked and bloodied, tied at the wrists and ankles, wrestling on an oily mat. He forces the fantasy out of his mind, aware that he’s slipping again.

“Why don’t you dial down the meanness, Baljit?” Salvador says, siding with Reese. “We’re all in shock after losing JJ the way we did.”

Simon nods. “I can’t imagine what was going through her head after she jumped.”

Salvador glares at Baljit. “And if you say ‘the pavement,’ I swear to God I’ll absolutely lose it!”

Reese massages her temples between her thumb and her fingers. Her eyes look tired, and Simon wonders if she’s been drinking. “I shouldn’t have canceled our get-together after that last session. Or at least I should have taken the time to call her. I knew something was wrong. JJ was just so… off.”

Liisa looks over to Reese but doesn’t offer any words of consolation. The room falls into a somber silence.

“OK,” Simon finally says. “What about JJ’s theory that there was something sketchy about Elaine’s death?”

“You don’t think there’s anything to that?” Salvador asks.

“Not really,” Simon says. “But JJ made it sound like Dr. D did.”

“Then how come Dr. Danvers didn’t say boo to the rest of us?” Baljit asks.

“Why would she, if she thought only JJ was involved?” Reese snaps, and Salvador nods his approval.

Liisa clears her throat. “Besides, she would never betray client-therapist confidentiality like that.”

“Yet another reason Dr. Danvers won’t want to resume group therapy,” Reese points out.

Simon’s heart sinks. “Dr. D’s treatment has been working for the rest of us. And I, for one, need to continue it.”

“I couldn’t agree any freakin’ more!” Salvador cries, practically bouncing in his seat. “I need it, too.”

“Me, too,” Baljit sighs.

Reese looks around the room. “After JJ and Elaine… can we really just go back to business as usual?”

“It definitely wouldn’t be business as usual,” Salvador says.

“Couldn’t we go to another ketamine clinic?” Reese asks. “Or get our own supply? Vitamin K, as they call it on the street.”

“Other clinics don’t do IV ketamine,” Liisa says.

“And snorting Vitamin K is not the same,” Simon says. “Trust me. The effect is nothing like the IV stuff Dr. D gives us.”

“Besides, Dr. Danvers is simply the best therapist,” Salvador says. “At this point, I must’ve tried them all.”

Baljit turns to Reese. “Are you sure you can keep away from the bottle without her help?”

Reese shrugs. “I’m not sure of much of anything at this point.”

“Does anyone in this group feel unsafe to continue therapy with Dr. Danvers?” Salvador asks the others. “Now is the time to speak up.”

No one does.

“I don’t buy what JJ told Simon,” Baljit says. “There’s a perfectly simple explanation for what happened to Elaine.”

“And to JJ, too,” Salvador adds.

“Then we’re agreed?” Baljit asks, staring into each person’s eyes, landing last on Simon’s. “We reach out to Dr. Danvers and convince her to continue our therapy?”

“Who reaches out to her?” Simon asks.

“I will,” Baljit says.

Simon shakes his head. “Uh, no. You lack tact. And judgment. Then again, so do I. It’s going to take some world-class persuasion to convince Dr. D.” He looks over to Reese. “I say we send in the best negotiator in the room. Naturally, the lawyer.”