1. Prologue

Prologue

S ometimes I wonder what it would be like to be normal. To have a life where everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Unfortunately, I know the truth about the world, and once you know, there is no turning a blind eye.

It's hard when you grow up and follow the same path as your mother. It feels like I'm in her shadow, even if I am my own person. Agent Alexandra Darling was amazing at her job... and I will prove that I'm amazing at mine.

I am Detective Hydessa Darling. Because of my mother, I know the evil that lurks in the shadows. I have grown up surrounded by the reminder that no one is truly who they say they are, not even the good guys.

My parents didn't believe in raising us with delusions of how the world truly is. They always said that the places we go are battlegrounds where light and dark are in constant conflict, and each of us has a bit of both inside us. They didn't shelter me or my sister from the harsh realities; instead, they prepared us to face them. While other kids were learning to ride bikes and play tag, we were learning survival skills, training in self-defense, and figuring out how to understand the complexities of human nature and just how easy it is to hide evil.

I know the darkness that calls from deep within the soul, because it calls from deep within mine. And though I don't consider myself evil, I don't consider myself good either. Not even the daughter of the great Agent Darling can outrun her demons, and I have a feeling mine are coming for me soon.

I remember the first time I realized I wasn't quite like other kids. It was in middle school, when I was around eleven. A group of students were picking on a boy smaller than them. Everyone else looked away, not wanting to get involved, but I couldn't stand it. As I sat there and watched others turn a blind eye, my anger grew until the shadows within me demanded I unleash my anger on those bullies.

They never touched that small boy again.

As I grew older, I became more aware of the storm that would command the fury within me. There were times when that darkness threatened to overwhelm the light. Times when anger, resentment, and despair felt like they would consume me and take everything good with it. But I learned to channel those feelings, to use them as fuel rather than letting them control me. It's a delicate balance, one that requires constant vigilance and refusal to give in.

I often wonder if there's a point to all this. Is there a purpose to the struggle? Or is it just the way things are, an endless cycle of light and dark, good and evil? My parents say that it's our choices that define us, not our circumstances. They believe that even in the darkest of times, there's always a choice that can bring out the light.

I don't know if I believe them.

While I know the darkness is a part of me just as much as the light is, I don't think I can always control which one presents itself. And perhaps that's the true challenge: not to banish the darkness, but to coexist with it, to find harmony between the two and know when to let the rage loose.

But who could love someone who embraces the darkness within themselves so readily? My dads adore my mom. They are still obsessed with her twenty-five years after having me and my sister. If love doesn't come with the same obsession that my dads have for my mom, then I don't want it.

Growing up, their love was like a beacon, a shining example of what true, utter devotion looks like. They never hide their feelings, their passion, or their commitment. It is intense and all-consuming, and I couldn't imagine settling for anything less.

They found a way not to fear their darkness, but to let it shield them. It's what makes my mother so good at her job and why so many people look to her for answers. Her sixth sense about others and their intentions is unparalleled in the world of crime solving.

My sister, Seanna, chooses not to think about it and embraces the darkness; she spends her time in the arms of strangers she meets while partying, living life to the fullest and taking on whatever jobs she can within the family business. She will cross whatever line she needs to in the name of justice. She believes that a love like what our parents share will be impossible to find, so she refuses to look for it.

She says she's just being realistic, that the world isn't made for fairy-tale romances and epic love stories. Seanna laughs off the idea of finding someone who would obsess over her the way our dads obsess over our mom. Instead, she throws herself into the moment and the fleeting connections that come and go with the night. It's her way of coping, of dealing with the darkness within her.

Sometimes, I envy her ability to live in the now and to embrace the shadows without fear or hesitation. She seems so free, so unburdened by the weight of expectations and the hopes for a love that might never come. Yet, I also see the emptiness in her eyes when she thinks no one's looking. The loneliness she hides behind her carefree facade.

I don't want to look like that.

I want the kind of love my parents have, the kind that endures through every storm, that sees the darkness and still chooses to stay. But the fear of never finding it gnaws at me. What if I'm destined to walk this path alone, forever battling the shadows without someone to share the journey with?

Still, a part of me hopes that somewhere out there is a person who can see both the darkness and the light within me, and love me not despite them, but because of them. Someone who understands that the darkness isn't something to be feared, but something to be embraced.

Maybe one day I will find a way to accept that part of me I try to keep buried deep, and it will bring me everything I hoped for. Maybe even more.