Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Ainsley

Ainsley, age eighteen…

There aren't many differences between going to school and staying at home. I do almost exactly the same things, except I don't have access to my instruments or Dad's music room. I miss playing when I'm feeling lonely. All I have are my playlists and the little time I get to spend in a classroom with borrowed instruments. I feel miserable. If my parents allow it, next year I'm moving to an apartment.

Porter doesn't visit me often—he's too busy touring. I feel lonelier than before. At least, my brothers call and email me every day. They're creating music and sending it to me so I can add lyrics to it. Even though they're farther from me, I feel closer to them. Jacob talks about a girl who he met before classes started. Mattie swears our big brother is in love. I wish I could meet her.

Maybe moving to Austin wasn't a great idea, but Seattle wasn't either. Do I regret saying no to Juilliard? I'd rather not dwell on it.

It's not long before Jacob gets into an accident and… we almost lose him. He breaks his back. During the winter weekend, I help him with his rehabilitation since I love water and he has to do a lot of exercises in the pool. It hurts me to go back to school, but Mattie assures me that he's going to be okay. Jacob has plenty of nurses, Mattie, and our parents.

At the end of my first year of college, Porter helps me pack my dorm room before I return home. He has a surprise for me. Three hours, seven boxes, and five plastic containers later, we finish. We pack everything into his new truck and give the room a final check.

"Was the room this filthy?" I ask, almost defeated. The longer this takes us, the less time I'll have with Porter.

"I'll sweep while you go and find the RA."

"Thank you," I say, stepping closer to kiss him, but he glares at me. Right, we can't touch or kiss in public.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, leaving the room immediately before he lectures me for being so careless with his career.

I doubt anyone will recognize him. He wears a cap, sunglasses, and a hoodie that makes him look like any other student on campus. The RA doesn't recognize him. She barely pays attention to the room. I'm glad because there are a few holes in the wall that my roommate made.

Once I turn in the keys, we trot to the truck. Porter is in a rush. Our flights leave in a few hours, and he hasn't shown me his surprise yet. We still have to drop my things at the storage unit he rented. I wish he'd come home with me, but he has to be in New York. He's always there or in Los Angeles. I don't understand why he said Austin was the best choice out of all the other schools.

It's as if he wanted to isolate me from my family and the rest of the world.

"Guess what?" he asks playfully before turning on the engine. I relax when I hear his normal, almost sweet voice. I hate when he's growling and tense, but I understand. He dislikes crowds and strangers.

"You're coming home with me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Ainsley," he snaps. "I have shit to do. The world doesn't revolve around you. Plus, going there means I don't get to be close to you. Your parents will know."

I doubt it. Chris is on tour, and Gabe is in Australia filming a movie. Since I don't want to upset him, I only say, "Okay."

My attention goes to my phone, where I check my grades. If I get straight A's my parents will finally buy me a car. I'm not sure how that'll happen when neither will be home this summer. I wish things were like in the old days when one of them would go to work, and the other stayed at home to take care of us.

That other was usually Papa. He barely went on tour when we were young. We have a recording studio in the house so he can produce music for other artists. Without us there, I guess he doesn't see the point of staying in the house.

Why am I going home when no one is waiting for me? Jacob is in Switzerland getting some state-of-the-art treatment that'll help him with his back and his legs. Mattie is with him. They don't need me.

I don't want to cry, but this is borderline pathetic. Is this the end of our family? Since his accident, Jacob has changed a lot. Mattie is quiet and I… well I keep writing music for them because it seems like the only thing that keeps us connected.

We should do something to fix our family though. I don't think this is what happens in the real world. I heard people talking about their vacations with their parents, jobs, and… there has to be more to growing up and leaving your childhood home.

Out of nowhere, Porter says, "I bought us a house."

"Us, a house?" The three words don't make sense.

"Yes, well, Gabriel told me the other day that I should invest my money in real estate or something."

Of course, Dad and his financial advice. His number one goal is to make money. He's a billionaire, but I doubt that's enough.

"What better way than buying a place for my girl where we can live together?"

My heart makes a couple of flips, but my stomach becomes one big knot. What does this mean for our future? "You want us to live together?"

I take several breaths as I think of the consequences. Are we finally telling my parents? Am I ready for it? Yes. Do I even have to go home? This is the surprise. He purchased a house, and we're spending the entire summer together.

"Baby, you usually speak more than a few nonsense words. What's going on?"

When I glance at him, I notice his tight grip on the steering wheel. His mouth twists from one side to the other. I upset him, and I don't know how. Worse, I have no idea how to make it better. My entire body stiffens, and I'm barely breathing.

"Is that it? You don't want us to live together. I thought you loved me." His voice is cold, angry, but not loud. "I sacrifice so many things for you, and you can't even do one fucking thing for me."

"It's not that," I almost stutter.

Fisting my fingers, I remind myself that he's sensitive and sometimes needs a little more understanding than the average person. He suffered too much. He needs my understanding.

"We haven't… you know, told my parents or had sex," I whisper, afraid that I might be saying the wrong thing.

All I want is to make him happy.

"You have to understand," I thread my words casually. "You—we've been waiting for the right time. Suddenly, you buy a house. I'm speechless, Port, and I… it's an incredible surprise."

Wiping my sweaty hands on my short skirt, I say, "My parents. I don't want them to be upset with you."

From the corner of my eye, I notice his shoulders relax. "Right, I forgot for a moment that my girl likes to overthink everything." He grabs my hand, squeezing it hard. Maybe a little too hard because it hurts, but it's okay because then he kisses it tenderly. "I love you, AJ."

"I do too."

"Listen, there's no rush. We'll have sex at the right time. I want you to be sure and ready. Your parents… I don't think I'm ready to tell them just yet. There are tours, presentations, and all the rest of the shit that keeps me away from dealing with the stress of telling your parents. I bought the house under your name so no one would know that I live here. You just need to keep that between us, okay?"

"But they need to know where I live," I remind him.

"Damn it, AJ. They lie about you. You shouldn't feel bad about this." He sighs and slams the steering wheel. "You're an adult. Figure this out without fucking up my life."

I flinch.

"We need a home. I've never had one or a family. The first idea was to buy a place close by. A house sounds better than another shitty hotel. I'll be able to spend more time with you. Also, it'll help me keep track of you. I want to know where you are and that you're safe. What do you think?"

I'm confused, and… well, I smile because if this makes him happy, I'll do it.

"All I know is that I love you."

So what if my parents don't know? It's not a big deal.

Will they freak out? I don't know, but their entire life is a big secret. If there is something I learned from them it's to be discreet and hide the truth. I can do this. It's for Porter. Once I make peace with myself, I feel like I can breathe.

It's not long before we come face to face with a gated property, greenery along each side of the concrete pathway. He enters the code. "Zero-seven-two-six," he says.

"That's my birthday," I say excitedly.

He grins, pulling forward as the gates open. "I know. It's one of the most important days of my life."

A half-mile later, a Victorian two-story house comes into view. It's right by the lake. The place is beautiful, like a castle in the middle of a field. It's love at first sight.

"It has almost the same security features that your parents have on their properties." Porter reaches out, taking off my seat belt and pulling me to his lap. "It's big enough to keep out uninvited guests. This is only for the two of us. We'll build a practice room. We can share a music room and perhaps later a studio. Two pools, one indoor and the other one is private enough for you to feel safe. AJ, would you do me the honor of living with me?"

I hold his head with both hands, lacing my fingers in his hair. Instead of answering with words, I crush my lips against his.

After a long kiss, I whisper, "I love you."