Chapter 19

nineteen

I love the ground under his feet, and the air over his head, and everything he touches and every word he says. I love all his looks, and all his actions and him entirely and all together.

— EMILY brONT?

F inding out that my name was actually Hailey Sommerfeld took Ashton a few days to get over. Every time he said Tally, I could hear the hitch in his voice. As if he felt like he were being disingenuous. But after I assured him, repeatedly, that I didn’t want to go by Hailey ever again—that I couldn’t go by that name—he seemed okay.

Though I felt lighter having told Ashton about some of my past, the parts I’d conveniently edited gnawed at me. The fact that I was lying to the man I loved, was never far from my mind. But, as Mom kept reminding me, I couldn’t jump the gun.

The second week in June, I found myself at Ford’s house, helping Ashton move in. Ash had been spending every waking moment that he could with us, often driving to his place in Sweet Grass at one or two in the morning. We tried to say goodnight earlier but it never seemed to happen. When he was too tired, he’d sleep at Ford’s. The longer we were together, the more we wanted to be together. Until finally he was spending most nights at Ford’s place. It made sense for him to move in. Ford was thrilled.

Ford had a whole house speaker system and was currently playing Southern Country Zone , Whiskey and Women’s newest single, at a level that was surely going to make us all go deaf a few years early. It was a fun, upbeat song that made you want to dance.

Pickup trucks and open fields

City lights, they hold no appeal.

Small town roots run deep in me.

But your love sets my spirit free.

I walked into Ashton’s room. Actually, it was a whole suite complete with a sitting area, small kitchen, and a luxury bathroom. With a large box in my hands I couldn’t see where I was going and tripped over Theo who was kneeling on the floor putting back together one of Ash’s Lego sets that had come apart in the move. When my foot landed, I heard the building bricks crash apart.

“Aunt Tally!” Theo yelled in frustration. “I barely got that part back together.”

“Sorry, bud!” I hollered so he could hear over Ford’s dulcet tones. I set the box on the built-in desk and squatted down to help gather the pieces.

Theo’s head hung and his dark hair fell into his eyes. “Sorry.” His lisp caught on the s sound. He tipped against me. “I keep calling you Aunt. ”

I’d told him and Charlie the truth a few nights ago—with Brianna’s permission and Mom at my side. There had been some tears, but some whoops of excitement too. The hardest part was their questions about their dad. I couldn’t answer them. I wouldn’t. They would never know what kind of person he was. I’d make sure of that. The adjustment was going to take time, for all of us. But I knew the sooner they knew the truth, the sooner we could settle into our new roles. Our new life together.

I put an arm around Theo and pulled him against me. “It’s okay.” I smoothed his bangs over. “It’s a lot to take in.” I offered him a sad smile. “A lot to get used to.”

His nose crinkled. “I like it though!” He boomed over the music. Then he grinned. “It’s kinda cool that you’re my mom.” He looked around Ashton’s massive bedroom. “Cool that we get to live on this ranch.”

“It is cool. The coolest.” I opened the instructions and picked up a white building block. “Okay, so where does this piece go?”

“It’s okay, Mom .” He smiled. “I’ll get this put back together. You can keep helping Ash ton.”

I smiled at my cute boy, stood, and carried the box to Ashton’s closet. A room that was bigger than my mom’s entire living room.

“Hey, you!” Ashton said, standing atop a step ladder, replacing a bulb in one of the recessed lights. Two inches of abs peeked out from the bottom of his T-shirt. I couldn’t resist. I set the box down on the floor, walked up, and slid my hands up those abs.

“Heeey,” he said in a warning tone, hands carefully balancing the bulb.

I leaned my cheek against his stomach, feeling his warmth. His heartbeat pounded under my ear. “‘I can resist everything,’” I murmured. “‘Except temptation.’ ”

“Oscar Wilde. You are not making things easy on me, woman.”

I placed a kiss right over his belly button.

“ Tally .”

“What?” I giggled.

He finished twisting the bulb in place and hopped off the ladder. Then his arms were around me. His lips on me, kissing my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, so fast I didn’t know where he was going next. He finally made it to my mouth where I made him stay for a long while.

The song died. And then Dirt Road Memories , my third favorite Double Dubs song, started up. It was a slow ballad about young love gone wrong.

Ashton tipped his forehead to mine, put his hands on my lower back and we swayed to the music.

Tailgate talks under country skies.

Sharing dreams and catching fireflies.

First kiss by the old oak tree.

Now it's all dirt road memories.

We looked over when Theo walked in the room, hands on his hips. “Does anyone else find it disturbing that the person’s voice coming through the speakers is the man who owns this house?” he yelled over the song. “And it’s all he plays? Like he’s obsessed with himself or something?”

“I think it’s great!” Charlie squealed as she came flying into the room on a hoverboard, arms waving in the air, wearing a pair of purple heart shaped sunglasses. She made a quick circle around Theo.

The best part was that Ford was right behind her, on a matching hoverboard, wearing identical glasses. And he had on a pair of skintight cheetah print pants, a plain white T-shirt, and a black rhinestone studded cowboy hat. “It’s a simple fact, Theo, my man. I have the best voice in country music and I have the Grammy to prove it!” he yelled over himself serenading us in the background. “Why would we listen to anything else when Double Dubs is the best?”

“The best!” Charlie thrust her fists into the air. Then she came straight for me and Ashton. “Look out, Mom!”

She’d had no problem getting used to the switch.

We jumped out of the way and let her make a figure eight before she flashed out of the room, Ford right on her heels. Er—her wheels.

Theo rolled his eyes and walked back into Ashton’s bedroom.

Ashton chuckled. “If two months ago, you would’ve told me this would be my life…” He shook his head. “I can’t believe you talked me into living with him. I’m one hundred percent going to regret it.”

Ford belted from the other room, his twang thickly exaggerated.

Every pebble, every stone.

Tells the tale of how we've grown.

Charlie joined in on the chorus.

Down that winding path we drove,

Where bluebells and young love grow.

“I’m parched, Chuck!” Ford bellowed. “I think we need root beer floats! To the kitchen!”

“To the kitchen!”

“I think I already do.” Ashton shook his head.

“C’mon.” I slid my fingers under his shirt and rubbed calming circles along his stomach. “You get to be my neighbor. Go on walks with me after dinner. Count the stars together. Have our very own, two-person book club. Remember, you promised.”

“I remember.” His fingers trailed along my spine. “And I’ll save money this way. So we can buy the little house from him.” His shoulders slouched. “In fifty six years.”

The “little house,” which was plenty big for us, had ridiculous upgrades like asian walnut hardwood floors and porcelain tile in the bathrooms that made it way out of our price range.

I scratched his back. “We can move. Get a cheaper house. It’s okay.”

He cupped my face in his hands. “But you love it here.” He sighed. “We need to get a book deal.”

“Yeah.” I laid my head against his shoulder. “We need more followers.”

Our dream was to both quit our day jobs and write together. At that moment, just shy of six hundred thousand readers, it felt like a pipe dream. The other books on Incognito that had gotten agents and book deals were those that had a following upwards of ten million.

“He’s happy,” Ashton murmured.

“Ford?” I asked.

“Yeah.” A chuckle sounded like it bubbled in his throat.

“Happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

“Yeah,” he said again. And I could tell he was happy that he’d made Ford happy.

The music coming through the speaker stopped suddenly and Ford’s voice blared overhead. “Blacksheep Bookworm! Blacksheep Bookworm! K-666!”

The music started up again.

Ash stared at the ceiling and snorted .

I stared at the ceiling, nose crinkled. “What does that mean?”

“Blacksheep Bookworm is my code name.” He pulled his phone out. “He sent me a list of codes I’m supposed to memorize.”

“K-666? What the Satan?”

He shook his head. “Who knows.”

We scanned the list of codes together.

The music stopped again. “Blacksheep Bookworm!” Ford’s voice was anxious. “K-666! Do you copy?”

Ashton rolled his eyes, walked over to the intercom on the wall, and pushed the biggest button. “Fo-shiz. I don’t know what that means. What’s K-666?”

“It means get your ace down to the kitchen!” I giggled at his slang swear word. Ever since Peyton had plugged his mouth with her sweaty tank top, he’d been practicing keeping his language clean. An effort I appreciated since my littles were watching. “Mom’s here! We have a situation and your presence is needed. STAT!”

Ashton groan-chuckled. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll come. I wanna see what the ‘situation’ is.”

“Trust me. You’re safer up here. My mom can be…”

I bit my lips, trying not to laugh. Jenny was an A type, helicopter mom/grandma, whose middle name was, ‘I Know Best.’ Who knew what was happening down there.

He stalked out of the room and I admired his muscled calves and broad shoulders as he went.

I knelt down and untaped the box I’d carried upstairs. When I looked inside, I smiled. Each article of clothing was carefully folded with precision. Did the man use a plastic folding board? He had to. These were too perfect.

I made short work of putting Ashton’s clothes into the built-in drawers. When I got to the bottom of the pile, I spotted a small white jewelry box. I glanced at the door to make sure I was still alone before pulling it out. The box looked new…ish. Too small for a necklace or bracelet. The perfect size for a…ring? No. It was probably earrings.

My birthday wasn’t for months though. I huffed at myself. It was completely arrogant to even entertain the thought that whatever this was, it was for me.

What if it’s an engagement ring and he’s going to propose?

Ludicrous. You’ve been dating for a month!

But you’ve known each other much longer.

It’s way too soon for something like that.

But what if?

I held the box between my steepled fingers, letting the idea settle. I waited for the panic to come crashing down. The panic that caused me to self sabotage with Madden. Yeah, after months to dwell on it, I knew that’s what I’d done.

But it didn’t come.

In fact, the opposite happened. Peace washed over me. Like every cell of my body had been infused with joy and calmness.

But marriage means sex. Lots of sex.

Yes. Sex with Ashton. Correction: love making with Ashton.

I waited, wondering again if the panic would make an appearance. Instead, my face split into a grin. The thought of it made me downright giddy.

We’d been attached at the hip since the day we got together. And not once had he pushed me for more than kisses. If anything, he was fending me off. I loved him for wanting to wait. It was the sensible thing to do. But every time he kissed me, it was a struggle. I wanted to love him. Fully. Not just kisses. But all of it. Wanted to wake up every morning next to him, tangled in the sheets.

With that self-realization I stared at the box, hoping beyond hope that it was a ring. After all that deliberation, it was probably a tie tac. Now, I had to know .

I flipped open the lid and my air was suddenly gone. It was a ring. And it was gorgeous. At least a carat. Set in an intricate rose gold band with small diamonds tucked into the sides. It looked old. Vintage. Like something straight out of the Victorian period. But in pristine condition.

It was perfect.

I plucked it from the box and slid it over my knuckle. Then I curled my fingers and uncurled them again. Not a perfect fit but close enough.

“Charlie, what’s wrong?” I heard Theo say from the bedroom. There was a tug of concern in his voice that I didn’t like. Had Jenny made her cry? Why my mind went there, I’m not sure. But an upset Jenny in the kitchen could have something to do with it. I hopped up and hurried to see what was wrong.

When I came into the room, Charlie was sobbing. Gone were the sunglasses and the smile. Theo had an arm around her.

“Hey.” I knelt in front of her. “What’s going on?”

“She—” She sucked in air, her chin trembling. “She says you’re…you’re not my mom. She says I’m confused.”

“Who said that?” I said softly, putting a bit of cheer in my voice, for Charlie’s sake.

“J-J-Jenny.” A sob shook her shoulders. She buried her face in her hands. I didn’t need to ask how it happened. Charlie had been telling everyone she saw, proudly, that I was her mom. That’s all it would take.

“Oh my goodness.” I pulled both of them against me and smoothed Charlie’s hair. “We haven’t told Jenny yet. She’s probably confused. But we know better, don’t we?”

She nodded, sniffling, the tears already slowing. Theo slipped out of the hug, letting me take Charlie’s full weight. I gave him a smile and he knelt down by the Lego. He’d almost completely repaired it. But he waited, watching Charlie. The same way a gentleman waits for a lady to get her food at a restaurant before they start eating.

“No!” I heard Ashton yell. The fact that I could hear him in a house this size, with Ford’s music cranked up, did not bode well for whatever was going on in the kitchen. “Nope. That is not happening, Mom!” There was a tightness and frustration in his voice that surprised me. In all the time I’d known him, I’d never seen him lose his cool with his mom. He was the Dupree who could roll anything off, no matter how invasive she was. He adored her.

I patted Charlie’s back. “Can you help Theo finish the Lego? I’m going to make sure everything’s okay.”

Charlie nodded, wiped her nose on her arm, and knelt by her brother. I hurried out of the room and tiptoed down the stairs. When I got to the foyer, I waited, listening.

“I’m just saying you should discuss it. That’s all. Those kids need a mom and a dad who are married,” Jenny whisper-shouted. “And the sooner they get that, the better. They’ve had enough instability.”

I could not agree more.

“You’re not going to pressure her.” Ashton’s voice was tight. Ready to snap. “If she wants to wait five years, I’ll wait five years. If she wants to wait twenty, then it’s twenty. If she doesn’t want to get married at all, then that’s what we’ll do.”

I pressed a hand to my heart. He couldn’t possibly want that. Especially with his ban on premarital sex. Would he really do that for me?

“You can’t not get married your entire life,” Jenny said.

“I mean, I can,” he said with a defiant huff. “I’m not going to be Madden and have her freak out and run away after I ask her. When I ask— if I ask—it’ll be because I know she’s ready.”

“You would give up the chance to be a dad?” Jenny sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “Ash, you need to be a dad. You’re too good not to be a dad. ”

As Brooklyn would say, no cap.

“I’ll be a dad to Theo and Charlie.”

Seriously, if he didn’t stop being so gosh dang wonderful, I was going to disintegrate on the spot.

Movement from the balcony caught my eye and I looked up to see Theo and Charlie standing by the railing, listening.

I put a finger over my lips.

I didn’t know what Jenny was going to say next. This whole conversation felt like a loose cannon about to go off. So I walked into the kitchen.

Everyone looked my way. Ash, Jenny, and Ford. I flicked my brows, letting them know I’d heard.

Ashton gave me an apologetic, mortified look as he walked over. “Sorry.”

I offered them a smile and a wave. “I want you to know that there are listening ears. Little ones. Please, be careful with whatever you say next.”

Jenny clamped down on her words. She looked as apologetic as Ashton. And like she’d been emotionally bludgeoned by the news that Charlie and Theo were mine.

“What’s going on?” I asked quietly. “Maybe I can help sort this out.”

Ford’s hands were resting on the granite countertop of the island. “Oh, nothing that serious. Jenny’s just feeling a little broadsided, what with the news that she has two potential grandchildren she didn’t know about.” He made a crashing sound effect. “She likes to plan these things out, nine months in advance.”

Jenny squinted a glare and popped him in the back of the head, knocking his cowboy hat off. “Be respectful. Stop wearing your hat in the house and address your mother properly.”

His jaw dropped. “It’s my house and I?—”

“I don’t care if you won a Grammy!” She smacked the counter. “Or an AMA, a CMA, or a People’s Choice Award.” She smacked it again. “You came out of my uterus. You’re a Dupree. Now have some sense and act like it.”

Ashton snorted next to me.

“What the hell, Mom?” Ford yowled. Jenny popped him in the back of the head again. He clenched his jaw and his nostrils flared.

Ashton chuckled. Relaxing a bit, he reached over, and wrapped his hand around mine. Then he tensed. Crap. I was still wearing the ring.

He picked up my hand and looked at it, eyes wide.

The room went silent for three steadying breaths.

“You’re engaged?” Jenny said, jubilant. “Why’d you let me stand here having this stupid conversation if you’re already engaged?”

“No.” Ashton shook his head. “Mom, it’s not?—”

“It just happened,” I said quickly. “Last night. We haven’t told anyone yet.”

Ashton groaned. “We’re not engaged. She’s kidding.”

I slipped my arm around his waist, drilling my finger into his ribs as a warning. “It’s okay. I’m ready to tell people.”

He turned to face me, frustration etched in his forehead and the crows feet around his eyes. “You can’t kid about stuff like that around my mom. If you put that seed in her head, she’ll grow an entire forest.”

“He’s not wrong,” Ford said. “In the last ten seconds she’s already planned out the menu and the guest list. Haven’t you, Mom? ”

“I have not,” she scoffed but her cheeks turned fuchsia.

Ashton thrust his hand at her. “See?”

I put my hand dramatically over my heart, my mouth hanging open. “Are you getting cold feet already?”

Ashton’s lips pursed and he turned to his mom. “We’re not engaged. She must’ve found the ring in a box upstairs. ”

I slapped the counter like Jenny had. “No, I did not.” I made a face of mock offense. “Are you saying that after the trail of poems, the starlit picnic, and the proposal last night, now you’re having second thoughts?”

Jenny looked hopeful. Ford was suspicious but verging on believing it.

Ashton’s mouth clamped down. His eyes burned into me.

“So…you…are…engaged?”Jenny asked with trepidation.

“Yes. We definitely are.” I rolled my shoulders back, head held high. “Unlike some people, I’m excited about it.”

Ashton’s brow furrowed. I had him twisted in an emotional knot. I felt bad about that but I’d set him straight in a minute. I knew he wanted to marry me. He talked about it every day, as if it were a fact.

“Yay!” Jenny shook her fists in the air. “Mind if I ask when you think the wedding will be?” Her voice was teensy, clearly afraid to push.

Ashton unclamped his jaw enough to say, “In five years.”

“Nooooo.” I scoffed. “Nobody wants to wait that long.” I shuddered. “Do you want to wait that long? I don’t want to wait that long.” I nodded once with finality. “Soon.” I tipped my head. “Actually not soon. Expeditiously. Forthwith. Lickety split.” I snapped. “Posthaste.” I made jazz hands.

Jenny bounced on her toes and clapped. Then she shook Ford’s shoulders. “Did you hear that? Ashton is finally getting married!”

“I’m finally getting married,” Ashton said dryly, clearly convinced I was still pulling everyone’s legs. The big fat joke was going to be on him.

“You could get married at the ranch. Or…” Jenny’s eyes brightened. “What about beach week? We could set it up right in front of the water. Everyone will already be together. Blue will even be there for the last four days.” It was three weeks aw ay. Could we pull a wedding together that fast? Between Jenny and my mom? No doubt.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I’m not sure I can wait that long.”

“No, Mom. She’s not serious.” Ashton smacked the counter top. “No one is getting married at the beach.”

Jenny’s face fell.

I shrugged, cool and unfazed. “I mean, I’m getting married at the beach. I don’t know about you. But I have this gorgeous ring on my finger and I am not taking it off. E-ver.”

“No, Tally. Stop it. No one’s getting married.” Ashton smacked the counter again.

I smacked the counter. “I am.”

Ford smacked the counter. “Sorry, FOMO.” He grinned and nodded at my hand. “That was Granny Dupree’s ring.”

Jenny smiled. “When Ashton told us you two were finally together, we thought you should have it.” She shrugged. “Not that we favor Ash?—”

Ford snorted.

She glared at him and continued. “But Silas and Lemon went and picked a ring out together before we even knew they were getting married. And then Holden wanted to have some hideous monstrosity made for Christy.” She huffed. “Who puts sapphires on an engagement ring?” She shook her head like she was clearing it. “Anyway, we thought Ashton might like to give it to you.”

“Plus,” Ford added. “Ash is broke and it’s a free ring.”

Ashton bristled and I swear I could hear his teeth grinding.

“Well.” I held it up to let the light hit the diamond. “I think it’s perfect. And I’m so happy I get to wear it every day for the rest of my life. No one is getting this thing off of me. They can literally pry it off my cold, dead hand.”

“No one’s getting married,” Ashton power- whispered, frustration strangling him. “Not at the beach. Not on the ranch.”

“Not in a church, not in a park. Not in the daytime, not after dark.” I bumped his hip with mine. “Look at us rhyming. Like I said, I’m getting married. At the beach. If you don’t want to marry me, I’ll have to find someone else. But I guess if I want to keep this ring, I need to marry a Dupree.” I glanced at Ford. “Want to marry me? At the beach?”

His amused eyes slid sideways to Ashton. “Hell yes.”

Jenny smacked him in the back of the head again. “Stop cussing.”

“Tally,” Ashton growled and gripped my elbow. “I need to talk to you in the hall.” Then he yanked me behind him, hauling me from the room. His stride was so long I had to jog to keep up or risk falling on my face.

When we made it to the foyer, he whirled to face me. “Why did you do that? My mom is going to be so mad when I have to tell her it was a joke.” He threw his hands in the air, completely frazzled.

I took it as an invitation to capture him in a hug. Then I reached up, trapped his handsome face in my hands and kissed him. Hard.

When he tried to protest, I yanked on his hair, smashing his lips to mine.

“Ouch.”

I pulled away enough to say, “I love you, dummy. And I want to marry you. At the beach. This year. It’s not a joke.”

“You do?” His voice was full of hope.

“Yes. I do. Pun intended.” I melted against his chest. “You’re my best friend, my person, and the love of my life.”

He sagged against me. “You know you’re mine. You always have been. But…it’s too fast,” he said with a shaky laugh.

“I’m not going to freak out like I did with Madden, so you can stop worrying about that. ”

“You won’t?”

“I won’t.” I leaned back to look into those eyes. My favorite pair of eyes. “That’s the difference between being with the wrong guy and the right guy.”

He chuckled, sounding so relieved. “But I didn’t do a fancy proposal. You deserve a fancy proposal.”

I patted him on his left peak of perfection. “Oh, I’m getting my proposal and I just told you what I want.”

He chuckled. “Okay.”

A little voice coughed above us and we looked up to the balcony. I’d forgotten about my adorable eavesdroppers. Their eyes were huge, watching the scene below.

“Are you guys cool with me marrying Ashton?” I asked.

“Does that mean he’s going to be our dad?” Theo asked.

“Yes.” I sighed, utterly content.

“And he won’t change his mind?” Charlie asked and my heart stuttered at the fact that she even had to consider it.

Ford and Jenny were in the doorway, watching.

“Not a chance,” Ashton said. “You guys are my favorite.”

They looked at each other again, something passing between them.

Then Theo looked at us. “Hell yes.”

“Theo!” I said, aghast, at the same time that Jenny said, “Ford Sutton Dupree, look what you did!”

Then she popped him in the back of the head one more time.