Chapter 14

fourteen

S he'd always believed that nightmares couldn't come to life—she'd been wrong. Sadie pressed her hand to her chest as she struggled to breathe. She had to find Lottie.

"Lottie!" Sadie's voice scratched on her throat as she called for her daughter again. She checked her watch. It had been thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of calling. Thirty minutes of searching David's house, and thirty minutes of David searching outside.

Thirty minutes of nothing.

Sadie wrapped her arms around her chest and stood on the front porch, looking out over the property. The shadows had grown longer as the sun sank into the horizon, the chill of the night making a shiver run down her spine. And Lottie was out there somewhere in only her black ballet leotard and tights.

What kind of irresponsible mother let her daughter leave home without a jacket at this time of year? Easy—one who didn't deserve custody. Maybe Doris was right, and she didn't deserve to raise Lottie. One who was fighting for custody should never ever do something so…careless. So stupid.

David had a long tube tucked under his arm, and his warm hands gripped her arms. "We need to call for help."

She had no doubt he was trying to sound calm, but his words confirmed that this was bad.

Sadie pulled her phone from her pocket just as it began to ring, and her father's face flashed on the screen. Maybe they'd heard from her. "Do you have her?"

"Who?"

"Lottie's missing. The light's almost gone. I thought?—"

"Where are you?" Panic laced her dad's voice.

"I'm at David's—his grandparents' farmhouse."

"Where have you looked?"

"Everywhere. And, Dad, she's not wearing a coat."

"We're on our way, and I'll bring people. There are a lot here standing around that will help."

"What?" But he was already gone.

Sadie hung up and walked toward the house with more purpose. People were coming, she had to get organized. "Dad is bringing help. We need a plan in place when they arrive."

David lifted the tube and slid out some papers then unfurled them across the hood of her car. "I found the plans for the property a while back. I figured they'd be helpful. We can divide the property up into zones. I added the fairy house I built Vangie there." David pointed to a spot close to the pond. Then he ran his finger over the area of the pond. "I moved the fire pit back from the water, but Lottie wouldn't have gone closer to the pond, would she?"

"No. She hates swimming, hates being in the water. There's no way…" Sadie's voice dropped off. She couldn't say the words.

They would find Lottie. She had to believe that.

Nate's motorcycle was the first to pull in the driveway, then a sedan, followed by a truck. Nate climbed off and hurried over to them.

"Have you devised a plan? Because practically the whole town is coming." He motioned to yet another car turning in. There had to be ten cars now and more were still arriving.

"Word travels fast." Sadie wiped her face.

"Helped that we were all together when you talked to your dad. But Lottie is more important. Now where have you looked so far?"

David gave Nate the rundown as more and more cars pulled into the driveway. There had to be close to thirty people already waiting for instruction, and they were all carrying blankets and flashlights. Nate took charge, zoning off the property and sending people in different directions.

"Nate's got this part under control. I'm going to go check the playhouse again." David squeezed her hand then pulled her close, resting his forehead against hers. It was so easy to lean into him, into his strength. To soak in the warmth he offered. "Why don't you stay close to the house, so you're here when we find Lottie."

Words seemed to clog in her throat.

"We will find her." His warm breath fanned her face, and he pressed a quick kiss on her forehead before jogging off.

"He's right, Sadie." She turned to see Nate still leaning over the map on the hood of her car. "We will find her. God is in control of all of this. He already knows where Lottie is. Do you want to pray with me before I head out?"

Pray? She'd trusted God to bless her plans, but could she really trust Him to take the lead?

Then again, look what trying to be in control had gotten her. A missing daughter, a battle for custody, a loan she couldn't pay, and a broken heart. Right now, praying was the last thing she wanted to do, but she couldn't say that to Nate. Couldn't let him know how her entire life was crumbling around her. Instead, she nodded.

Nate gathered everyone together and said a prayer for Lottie's safety and speedy return. He prayed for peace. If only Sadie could get a sprinkling of that. Then he left to look for Lottie.

"I don't think I have ever seen this many cars in the driveway. Had to park along the road down the street." Her mom's sweet tone nearly broke her last bit of control.

Sadie sank into her mother's waiting embrace. Calming lavender and rose fragrances filled her senses.

"I take it there's no news."

Sadie straightened and rolled her shoulders back. "Not yet. But I think we should find some blankets to throw in David's dryer so they're warm when we find Lottie."

"That's a good plan. Let's head inside." Her mom passed her a coat that Sadie hadn't even realized her mom had been holding. "I figured if Lottie didn't have a coat, you didn't either."

Sadie slid her arms into her coat and zipped it closed, cutting the wind. Lottie must be freezing. Linking arms with her mom, they went inside and tossed some blankets they found in the hall closet into the dryer.

"Dad never did say why he called. Is everything ok?"

Her mom shook her head as she pushed the front door open, the hinges squeaking, loud and sharp.

A cold gust of wind blew through the front porch and stole Sadie's breath. Please, Lord, keep Lottie safe.

"There was an accident at the store."

"What kind of accident?" How much more could go wrong?

A loud breath escaped from her mom. "We're going to find Lottie, and then we'll handle things at the store. But Mrs. Allen crashed into the front window."

"Is she okay? Was anyone hurt?"

"I believe she is okay, but her car isn't. And the store is going to be closed for a while."

"A while like a few days? Or…"

Her mom wrapped her arm around Sadie's shoulder and pulled her close. "Or. Definitely or."

Sadie wrapped her arms around herself. Words failed her before her heart took off racing. The store? But she couldn't even consider that right now. Her hands shook. She needed something to do. "Maybe I should go look for Lottie, too."

Her mom shook her head. "I know you are itching to move. But we're going to stay here and trust God and the others to find Lottie."

"Mom, I'm not good at trusting."

"I know, sweetheart. But it's often in trusting that we find peace. Let's do more than ask God to bless the plans we've made tonight. Let's ask Him to go before us. To guide each person looking for Lottie. And we'll trust Him to watch over our girl, wherever she is right now."

Sadie tried to block out the fear threatening to consume her as she allowed her mom's comforting hug to surround her. Could she really let go and trust God? With Lottie? With the store? With their future?

Tonight, Sadie had already lost David and potentially the store. If she lost Lottie Tuesday…

What choice did she have but to trust?

She'd never wanted to give up control before, but her life was quickly becoming a dumpster fire that she couldn't contain. If she couldn't figure out how to salvage a part of her plans, she wouldn't have a choice but to trust.

Could she afford to wait and see if she could put out the fire on her own?

Sadie didn't know.

And she wasn't sure if she should find out.

David stood next to the fire pit and listened as he moved his flashlight over the familiar terrain of his grandparents' land. The light lit up the playhouse he'd built, and a paper moved inside, but it was empty. Mamá Gata wove between his legs, purring and swishing her tail.

The moon reflected off the pond, and the water gently rippled in the sharp night breeze. Sadie said Lottie hated the water, but what better place to hide than the location she hated most?

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he yanked it out, but it was a text from Lance. He didn't even open it, just repocketed it and kept moving his flashlight over the ground. He'd have to tell Lance later that he'd missed his flight, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now but finding Lottie.

David's heart pounded dangerously against his chest, and Mamá Gata rubbed his leg harder. If he didn't want to be found, he'd try and find the least obvious place to hide. Would Lottie think like that?

Mamá Gata meowed as if to encourage David to follow his thoughts.

"Lottie!" David's voice mixed with others who called in the distance. The water rippled again, and he jogged toward the dock. It might be a waste of time, but his gut told him to check it out. Using his flashlight to scan the landscape, he called for Lottie again and again.

Only the sounds of the quiet nighttime responded. That and the distant calls from other searchers. He glanced at his watch. How long did it take for hypothermia to set in? Was it even cold enough for that? The cold night breeze fluttered the trees, and David tucked the blanket he carried closer.

"Lottie?" He tried again.

Had he heard something? He paused, listening. The wind rustled the trees behind him, the others searching for Lottie, calling for her.

But there it was again.

A faint sound. He looked down at Mamá Gata, who stared at the pond. He hadn't been the only one to hear it.

He listened as the breeze rippled over the water, lapping gently against the shore as he crept closer. And then, he heard it again—a muffled cough. David shined his light in the direction of the noise. A shadow moved across the dock as a little girl paced back and forth.

"Lottie?" His heart skipped. Sadie had been so confident the girl wouldn't go near water. David stepped onto the dock, his flashlight landing on Lottie.

Her eyes widened, and she turned away from him and jumped into a boat tied to the end of the dock.

Air whooshed out of David's lungs, and he bent over, his hands on his knees. Lottie was safe. He pulled out his phone and sent Sadie a message. Then he shoved the phone in his pants pocket and cupped his mouth. "Found her! Lottie's over here."

David stepped closer to talk to her. "Hey, Lottie."

She sniffed and used her fist to wipe her face.

She stared at him, her lips tight and her arms crossed.

"Lottie, are you okay?" David's voice scratched across his throat.

She glared at him.

David slowly walked to the edge of the dock. Lottie took a step back in the boat, and it wobbled and strained against the rope keeping it tied to the dock. She lunged for it and untied the boat, holding the rope close to her body.

"I don't want to talk to you." Her teeth chattered as she spoke, and the boat floated backward away from the dock. She let out a startled yelp as she sat down, holding the sides of the boat as it rocked, and the rope fell into the water.

"Okay." David held up his hands. "But I want to talk to you."

She crossed her arms and rubbed at her bare skin. "Fine. I'll talk then. You're leaving. You didn't even say goodbye. I thought you liked us." Lottie sniffed again.

David rubbed his forehead. He'd messed up. "I'm sorry Lottie. I'm only going for the weekend."

"I heard Mom. She said you're going away. Why would you leave? Mom likes you. I can tell. And you like her."

"I do lo—" Love. He did. He loved Sadie. Oh man, what had he done? "I do like your mom."

"So why leave?"

"It's not for good. I'm coming back."

"Yet. You said you're not leaving for good yet. I heard the fight. You look at Mom like she's special. Like Daddy looked at my birth mom in the pictures. Why leave?"

For being nine, Lottie sure picked up on a lot, and she was throwing some tough verbal punches.

The boat rocked again, and heavy shivers had Lottie shaking violently as she looked up at the full moon. With Lottie distracted, David took a few steps closer to the end of the dock.

"Why are you here anyway? Don't you have a flight to catch?" The edge in Lottie's voice surprised David, but she had every right to be upset.

David knelt down, hoping he could get ahold of the rope or the boat, before it floated too much farther away from the dock. "I couldn't leave when I didn't know where you were. It's cold out, and you don't have a coat."

"Why do you care?" She shot him a look, but then her jaw trembled.

"Because I care about you." Lottie looked away from him, but her frown lessened.

"Why don't I help you climb out of the boat? We can go inside and warm up. Your mom is worried." He swiped for the rope but missed. He lay flat on the dock and scooted forward, so only his waist and legs were on wooden planks, and then he stretched, hoping to be able to get a grip on the rope. His fingers barely touched it, but he worked it closer until he could grasp it. "I'm going to pull the boat a little closer, okay, Lottie?"

As David scooted back on the dock, Lottie stood up, like she was ready to leap out.

"Lottie, can you sit down?"

Lottie glanced at the water and shook her head stubbornly. "I want out."

The boat tugged on the rope in David's hand, his balance teetering on the dock, as he strained his muscles to scoot back and keep the rope in hand. But when Lottie took a step toward him, the boat pitched to one side.

"Don't move. Hang tight." David slowed his movements, his abs on fire. "Please sit down, Lottie."

"I c-c-can't." Lottie circled her arms, frantically trying to regain balance.

"Lottie!" She was too far away, and he froze as an ear-piercing scream ripped through the night then cut off as Lottie's head disappeared into the water.

David was taken back to that moment when Remy went over the raft. His hand shook, and his breath whooshed out of his lungs as his vision started to tunnel.

David's heart rammed his rib cage. Oxygen became a commodity he couldn't find, and his throat burned. He might as well be back in that river.

This was not the same as Remy.

He was not in a raft.

"Help!" Lottie's shrill plea pierced David's terror.

Not the same .

He could help Lottie. David jumped into the pond and swam two strokes to the boat. Lottie was under water, and it was cold. He dove beneath the surface, but it was so dark, he couldn't see her. He swiped his arms through the icy pond but didn't make contact.

Lottie broke the surface, splashing, several feet to his right, beyond the rowboat.

"Lottie!" Her name ripped from his throat as he swam toward her, but she disappeared before he got there. He dove under the water again, frantically searching for her, his hands finding nothing.

Lord, please! David pushed forward underwater, completely blind. He couldn't let Lottie drown. His arms burned as the cold sank in. He surfaced, hoping to hear or see any sign of Lottie. Nothing.

Please, Lord. Please let me find her. He again pushed under, his arms moving in front then to the side, and his fingers touched a hand. He pulled her close and hauled them both to the surface. She coughed and spit as he patted her back.

Footsteps pounded on the dock as people approached.

"I found her! We're over here!" David yelled. A grateful heart, a praise to anyone who could hear. Thank you, Lord. He held the shivering girl close, and he swam back to the edge of the pond. People were gathering close, lights bouncing as more people ran toward the pond. He could hear people calling, "She's found!" "Lottie's here!" "Over here!"

He stood up and walked out of the pond. Nate greeted them with a huge blanket and wrapped it around Lottie and David.

"I'm s-s-s-still mad at you." She buried her face against his chest.

"I'm mad at me too. I never meant to upset you or hurt you. I would never have left without saying goodbye." Except as he said the words, the hypocrisy of the moment slapped him in the face. That's exactly what he had planned on doing—even if it was only for the weekend.

Lottie's muscles started to relax, and her breathing deepened.

"Stay awake, Lottie." David jogged toward the house, his jeans sticking to him, stinging his skin, his legs burning with cold.

Red lights flashed in front of the house as an ambulance sat in the midst of the cars, its back doors open. EMTs ran to him and pulled Lottie from his grasp. He staggered after, refusing any medical treatment. "I'm fine. Check Lottie. She was underwater for a while. I don't know how long."

"Mom!" Lottie's strangled cry whimpered as Sadie pushed through the crowd and hugged her soaked daughter.

An EMT allowed the embrace then guided them toward the ambulance. "I'd like to take her to the hospital just to be sure everything is okay."

Sadie nodded, and David held her hand, needed to feel her warmth, to make sure she was okay, too. But the comfort, the friendship he'd come to expect during the last few weeks was gone. Her expression shuttered, blocking him out.

"Thank you for finding Lottie. Good luck on your trip." She pulled her hand, but David squeezed tighter.

"Let me change, and I'll meet you at the hospital."

Sadie watched as the EMT picked Lottie up and set her in the ambulance, wrapping a new, dry blanket around her. "No. I have it under control."

"Sadie—"

"I'll text you that she's okay." Sadie shook her head and tugged her hand again. David let go. "No. I need to focus on Lottie. On the disaster that is my life."

"I want to be a part of that life."

"No, you don't. At least not fully. And that's not enough."

"Sadie—"

"Don't come."

"Sadie?" David's voice broke, as he let his hand fall to his side. She couldn't just jump in the ambulance and leave him.

She looked back at him. "This isn't your problem, David. It's my problem. There is nothing you can do to fix it. This is my family. My responsibility."

The door closed, and the ambulance pulled forward, its lights flashing. David stood there until the vehicle turned out of his driveway. It drove away, his heart inside.

A warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders and gentle hands tugged it closed. Dawn, Sadie's mom, stood in front of him adjusting the blanket. "I don't know what happened tonight. But go change. You're no good to anyone if you're sick. Meet us at the hospital."

"But she said?—"

"I heard her. But that little girl will expect to see you. I'm not sure there is hope for you and Sadie after what she just said, but don't break my granddaughter's heart, too."

She patted his chest and hurried to her car. He spun on his heel and headed to the house. Dawn was right—he needed dry clothes before he went to the hospital—and he had to let Lance know he didn't make his flight.

Did he ask Lance to rebook it? Everything in him screamed no—Sadie was his home. But if she was serious, and there was no room for him in her life, what future did he have here in Heritage?