Chapter 13

thirteen

" D id you know that George H. W. Bush outlawed broccoli in the White House while he was president?" Lottie stared at the offending vegetable as she looked over the produce Sadie had placed in the grocery cart.

"Yes, and when you're president of the US, you can make the same rule, but growing up, his mother made him eat broccoli—just like your mom." It shouldn't be so hard to convince a growing child to eat some healthy vegetables.

"What if I agree to eat…"—Lottie looked around and picked up a long, skinny cucumber—"this instead. You could put the broccoli back then."

After a full day of school, Lottie shouldn't be so argumentative. It was almost like she'd been saving up her stubbornness for this moment. When she got older, Sadie would encourage her to consider the debate team. "Add the cucumber to the cart, and we'll keep the broccoli. It's packed full of those vitamins and minerals your aunt Doris says you are lacking."

"M-o-o-m." Lottie fisted her hands and placed them on her hips. "Aunt Doris doesn't know everything ."

With this much sass now, the teenage years would be a blast. But Sadie couldn't disagree, Doris didn't know everything. But she did want to take Lottie away. And that was enough that Sadie wanted to include a few more veggies, in case anyone asked Lottie if she made her eat her greens.

Irrational? Probably.

Sadie hadn't told Lottie about her aunt and uncle contesting the adoption. With the hearing next week, Sadie needed to tell her so she wasn't surprised. It wasn't an easy topic to broach, though. The girl had lost enough, she didn't need to worry about losing Sadie, because that wouldn't happen. Sadie would fight tooth and nail to be part of Lottie's life.

Lottie threw the cucumber into the cart, and it bounced. "Careful, Lottie. We don't want to smash any veggies."

"Cucumbers aren't even vegetables. They're a fruit." The nine-year-old crossed her arms and grumbled.

Inhaling and exhaling on a four count, Sadie pinched the bridge of her nose and rolled her shoulders. Maybe she should have asked her dad to cover the store at some point during the day so she could have shopped without Lottie. Instead, he was closing, and Sadie was with a nine-year-old stuck in an after-school-funk in the middle of the grocery store.

Sadie deserved a gold star. Or a cup of coffee. Or chocolate. At the very least, a quiet bubble bath. Because shopping was hard enough, but with a little girl's picky palate, it was even harder to meal plan and shop. Next time she'd sneak out before school got out, rather than wait for Lottie to get off the bus.

A bunch of bananas was the next thing to go into the cart next to the…"Lottie, please don't take things out of the cart."

"I won't eat that broccoli. There's no point in buying it." Lottie stomped her foot with her hands on her hips.

Sadie counted to ten. Again. Did she really want to die on this mountaintop?

"Fine. I won't get the broccoli, but you cannot take anything else out of the cart. Besides, I want to take David dinner tonight, and he actually eats his vegetables." He must be in more pain than he let on, because when Sadie suggested that he take the weekend off, he quickly agreed.

Last night, after he'd called her his girlfriend—well, as juvenile as the term sounded, it sent a thrill down to her toes, and she wanted to surprise him with dinner today. They hadn't made any promises, but the intent had been clear. Little dreams about what the future might look had bloomed and played in her mind like movie reels.

Sadie pushed ahead and placed an onion—the one on top of the display—in the cart. A little bigger than she wanted, but she could chop it and freeze anything she didn't use.

Next, she selected a bag of apples and placed them in the cart, but the onion had gone missing. "Lottie."

She turned to see her daughter holding the onion in her hand.

"Don't put that back." Onions were one of the few vegetables Lottie had no idea she ate. Sadie hid them in meat and sauces.

"Onions are gross."

"But when you cook them up?—"

"They are always gross." Lottie crossed her arms and placed the onion back on top of the pyramid of veggies on the stand.

Forget shopping in person next time. Sadie would plan ahead for curbside pickup.

Next was the dairy department lining the back wall. Perfect distraction. "Do you want to go pick out some yogurt? I'll be right behind you."

Win-win. She could pack some veggies in her cart while distracting Lottie and keeping her in her line of sight. Sadie grabbed the offending onion and placed it back in the cart. She picked a second one for good measure. She'd chop it and freeze it, so she wouldn't have to have this debate next time she shopped.

Piling in a few more veggies, Sadie parked the cart next to Lottie.

A girl who looked about middle school age with freckles across her nose held a yogurt smoothie, looking at the label. Lottie bounced up to her. "Hi, Trinity."

The two girls chatted, and Mrs. Mathews waved as she approached Sadie. They'd spoken a few days ago when Sadie called about their line of credit. It wasn't the store's biggest loan, but the significant amount would help toward the bottom line she owed the bank. At this point, every penny mattered. Mrs. Mathews had assured Sadie they'd bring the payment by soon.

"Oh, honey, my husband stopped in the store last night." Mrs. Mathews pushed her cart forward. She didn't look much older than Sadie felt, but her hair had started to streak with gray, and she held a wisdom in her gaze that not many people Sadie's age could claim. Calm and confident, the woman oozed a sincerity Sadie hoped to emulate. "Your dad was there."

"I had to step out for a few. I'm sorry I missed him."

Mrs. Mathews nodded and placed a gallon of milk in her cart. "Your dad said you'd taken David to the ER after he'd had an accident playing soccer. The teens around town adore him. Even Trinity has mentioned how much she's enjoyed getting to know him. He's made such an impact by simply taking time to play games with them, talk to them at their level. How is he feeling today?"

Pride filled her for all the good David contributed around town. The man really had started to make a difference. If he could see what he was doing for the area, maybe he would be content to stick around. "It's just a sprain, but I encouraged him to take a few days off."

"So glad to hear he's going to be okay. Anyway, it was so generous of your dad to waive our tab. You have no idea what that means for us. Thank you both so much."

Her dad had waived the Mathews family's credit? Her ears clogged. Had the air been sucked from the store? This couldn't be happening.

Mrs. Mathews said a few more things, but Sadie would have had an easier time talking to the wall. Her dad had dismissed their bill?

Her dad had dismissed. Their. Bill.

A good-sized line of credit. She had two weeks left to scrimp together enough money for the bank. What was her dad doing?

Had he waived anyone else's? Was he trying to sabotage her?

No. Obviously he wouldn't. The store mattered to him. But how did he expect them to raise the money for the bank if he dismissed people's loans?

Sadie's hands shook. She'd done the math, over and over. She didn't have any wiggle room. And without this family's payment, she would be short.

Her dad had said he'd sell things to make up the money. He'd better be ready to follow through with that promise, because Sadie didn't have any extra.

Lottie finished picking out the yogurt. "Let's pick out a frozen pizza for dinner."

Sadie agreed. Because why not? She hadn't told David she'd bring dinner. They hadn't made any plans to see each other. It seemed silly, but she missed him. Missed seeing him at the store. Missed his teasing, his touches, his conversation. But it had only been one day. Still, David would know how she should respond to her dad, and he'd encourage her to stand up for what she believed in.

She could do that without David's encouragement, so she pulled her phone out and texted her dad.

Sadie: Mrs. Mathews said you forgave their line of credit? Why didn't you tell me?

Dad: I didn't want to worry you. But trust me, they need that money more than we do.

Sadie: I don't think you understand how much the store needs that money. Just how much is on the line.

Dad: It will come together.

Sadie: How? Cause I've run the numbers. What are you willing to sell to keep the store?

Dots appeared and disappeared.

Sadie: You said you trusted me to run the store. Did you change your mind?

Sadie shoved her phone in her purse. His response didn't matter. If he kept refusing money, the store was doomed. It didn't matter who ran it.

Sadie slowly pushed her cart, following Lottie. The girl picked up a box of Zebra Cakes and tossed it in the cart. Normally Sadie would put it back or tell her to stop.

But that box of Zebra Cakes probably wouldn't be around come morning. Little Debbie comfort for the win.

In the freezer aisle, Lottie opened a door and pulled out a pepperoni pizza and placed it in the cart.

"Mom. What are those?" She pointed at the onions like they were dead fish before picking one up.

Sadie let her breath out. "Please, Lottie. Let's not do this."

"Are you buying them because you're planning for me to leave?" Tears filled Lottie's eyes, and her bottom lip quivered.

"What are you talking about? I would never plan for you to leave me." Sadie tried to hug Lottie, but she stepped back, so Sadie dropped her arms.

"I saw the papers. Aunt Doris wants me to live with her." Lottie's shoulders sagged, and her arms hung down to her side as a single tear spilled over and ran down her cheek. "Do you want that, too?"

"No. Never. I want you to live with me." Sadie squatted down in front of Lottie and waited for her to meet her eyes, then she held out her hand. Lottie's smaller hand gripped Sadie's like she was afraid to let go. "You are my daughter—no matter what the court says, and I will fight for you with everything I have."

"I don't want to live with Aunt Doris and Uncle Patrick. I want to live with you."

"I want you to live with me, too." Sadie tugged Lottie closer, and she wrapped her arms around her. "I should have told you. I just didn't want to worry you."

Little arms wrapped around Sadie, squeezing tight, and Lottie released a small hiccup. Her dad's words from her text floated back to her. He hadn't wanted to worry her. Isn't that what she'd done to Lottie? Sadie had kept information from Lottie because she hadn't wanted to upset her. Good parenting was a lot more than getting them to eat their vegetables. It required a balance of honesty, love, and hard work. Sadie wanted to carry the weight of the world for Lottie, but she wouldn't always be able to do that. At some point she had to prepare Lottie for what the girl would face.

Maybe Sadie needed to spend more time focusing on that and less time worrying about the number of vegetables in their diet.

As if eating a cold sandwich on stale bread wasn't punishment enough, a huge glob of grape jelly rolled down the front of David's shirt.

Of course it did. It was like everything was out to punish him for refusing dinner with Sadie. He hadn't seen her since the Emergency Room visit. Yesterday he'd stayed home resting, considering the upcoming trip to Costa Rica. And now, he'd told her he couldn't make dinner and that he'd see her Monday when he returned. It seemed silly that he missed her. He'd gone ten years trying not to think about her, but now, just a few days had passed, and he missed her smile, her kindness, her kisses.

He could be sitting in her warm and cozy apartment enjoying a home-cooked meal. Instead, he sat in the quiet of his grandparents' kitchen. Not even the kittens were with him, opting for some time outside instead.

He needed to leave for his red-eye flight to Costa Rica in a few hours, and it had been easier to skip dinner and ignore the guilt of not telling Sadie about the job offer. She had so much stuff going on in her life, and with the adoption hearing on Tuesday, he didn't want her to worry about him, too. Not to mention the more time passed, the more certain he was that this job wasn't for him. But he owed it to Lance and his supporters to give it a look.

Pulling off his shirt, David stepped into the laundry room and added some stain remover to the grape-colored spot then laid it over the opening of the washing machine.

A knock rattled the screen door.

"Come in!"

The door creaked open then banged closed. "David?"

Sadie? David stepped out of the laundry room into the living room. She stood inside the door, a plate in hand. A maroon long-sleeve shirt tucked into her jeans hugged her curves. Her gaze dropped to his bare chest as she pulled her lips in and rubbed them before looking back up.

She held out the plate wrapped in tinfoil. "I thought I'd bring over dinner tonight, since you couldn't join us. Plus, I hadn't seen you since I brought you home. And I didn't want you to have to cook on your sore ankle again."

Her cheeks flamed red as her eyes dropped down to his chest again. Never before had he been more thankful for his simple workout routine. He still had a ways to go for a six-pack, but at least he wasn't a slouch. "Thank you for that. It smells amazing." And it did. So much more appealing than his stale PB&J. "Let me go grab a clean shirt, and I'll be right back. Want to set that in the kitchen?"

David stepped into his room and pulled out a freshly laundered shirt he hadn't put away yet. He slipped it over his head as he hurried back to where he'd left Sadie standing by the front door.

The sun shone through the window, highlighting her with soft evening light, her back to him. Outside, Lottie danced around the yard in her black ballet leotard. David crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Sadie's waist and pulled her close. She relaxed into him, and let her head fall to one side. He didn't need any more invitation and dropped a lingering kiss on her neck. A guy could get used to this.

"It's a bit chilly out there, but Lottie wanted to run through her ballet moves. They are performing at the town festival next weekend. But you should eat while the food's still hot." Sadie stepped to the side, knocking over his suitcase.

His suitcase…

Sadie stared at it. David reached for it, but she picked it up before he could, setting it upright. Her eyebrows lowered, and that small V appeared. "Is someone here?"

Danger, danger. The warning flashed in his mind. He had to fix this. He stepped closer to Sadie, hoping to hold her, reassure himself that he hadn't made a fatal mistake, but the expression on her face had him stopping before he could pull her close.

"You're leaving?" Her voice scratched.

"Only for a few days. That's why I couldn't come into the store this weekend. I'll be back on?—"

"Where are you going?" Sadie stepped back, the space between them growing.

David fisted his hands, jamming them into his pockets. "Costa Rica."

Sadie's eyebrows lifted. "You're going to Costa Rica."

It wasn't a question, but Sadie studied his face, looking for something. He nodded.

"And you didn't think to mention this?" Sadie crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was going to…The thing is—it's not what you think."

"Not what I think? Is it another job?" When he didn't answer, she turned away and gripped the sides of her head "Oh, goodness. Anna was right. This is just like before."

"No, it's not. I don't even think I'm going to take the job."

"But you might." Sadie sank into the couch, still holding her head.

"I would say I'm ninety percent sure I'll say no." David stepped closer to her, but she sat up straight and held out her hand to stop him. His heart raced. He didn't want to fight.

"But that leaves ten percent. Ten percent that you didn't think I had a right to know when you kissed me after I brought you home from the ER."

"Sadie." David stepped closer and held out his hand.

She looked at it, and then studied his face before slipping her hand into his. He pulled her up and into his arms, running his hands up to her shoulders and down to her wrists. To steady her? Comfort her? To comfort himself? He didn't know, but he needed the contact. Needed to feel her close to him. "I didn't know then. Lance called after that, and the school's principal wants to come home. They asked me if I'd take his place. My hesitation resulted in Lance encouraging me to at least go talk to Wesley."

Sadie let out a breath. "When were you going to tell me?"

"When there was something to tell. I didn't want to upset you, and I haven't decided anything?—"

"Upset me?" Sadie broke out of his embrace, her face flushed, and she walked past him to the front window, keeping her back to him. "So what? You were going to make a decision on your own again, and then what…send me a postcard?"

"It's not like that. I just…" The walls between them were too much. David stepped closer and turned her toward him. He wanted to pull her into his embrace, assure her he wouldn't leave. That this time he had no intention of letting go. Except her posture was so rigid. He settled for rubbing his hands up and down her arms. "I just felt like I needed to see it. I don't know yet?—"

"Yet? But you will make a decision. A decision that will affect my future—Lottie's future—and you didn't even have the decency to have a conversation with me. Just a few days ago, you called me your girlfriend. What do you think that means?"

When he didn't answer, she shook her head. "I get it, we aren't engaged. But we are too old to just be having fun like a bunch of high schoolers. Either we are in a relationship headed toward something permanent, or we are nothing. I don't have space for the in-between. Not with Lottie's heart on the line as well as my own."

"I get that."

"Do you? Because I want a partner, David. Someone who is going to share life with me—all of it. The ups, the downs. The good, the bad. The decisions."

"I want that, too."

"No, you don't, or you wouldn't have done this." She opened the front door and called for Lottie.

Didn't she get that this decision was bigger than them? He owed it to his supporters.

The door slammed behind her, and he followed her out. He didn't want her to leave angry. "What are you doing?"

"Lottie!" Sadie turned back to him. "It's called leaving. You should recognize it—it's your specialty."

David hurried to block her path. "Don't go. Not like this. Let's talk."

"I've heard all I want to hear." Sadie hurried to her car and opened the door. "Lottie, let's go!"

No response. No little girl's laughter. No footsteps skipping or dancing. Lottie was nowhere to be seen. Lottie didn't seem like the type to ignore Sadie. Or to be quiet.

David scanned the yard. Shadows were lengthening as the chill of the evening hours settled across the field. But there was no sign of Lottie.

Sadie put her hands on her hips. "Lottie? Come on, sweetheart. Time to go home."

Silence.

He lifted his hand to his forehead and looked to the west, the sun on the horizon, but there was no sign of the little girl.

"Maybe she's in the barn." David jogged down the stairs and behind the house to the barn, a slight limp in his step. But the barn was too still, too quiet. There was no way Lottie was inside. Still, he called for her.

Sadie came behind him, their voices blending as they called for Lottie. The shadows lengthened as the sun sank even lower, and a bird cooed.

Only the buzzing of a few bugs met them. David squeezed Sadie's hand, pulling her attention to him as she scanned the space between the house and the barn. "I'll go look in the fairy house. Check inside, maybe she slipped in the house."

They'd find Lottie. But even as he assured Sadie, he spotted the corner of something dark blue in the bush. He hurried over and pulled it out. His passport. His passport that had been on the dining room table when the argument started.

"Sadie." His strong tone stopped her as she put her hand on the doorknob. He held up the passport, she paled and sank to the steps.

No doubt she had drawn the same conclusion. Lottie had heard them, she'd run off, and it was getting dark. It was autumn, but the night lows this fall were already at a dangerous level, especially for a nine-year-old with no coat. His gaze flicked to the edge of the woods then back to Sadie.

Lord, help us . She could be anywhere.