Chapter 32

Olivia did not want to be married that day.

She was aware of how fortunate she was. Her husband was not perfect, but he would be good to her, and she knew that many ladies were not afforded such a luxury. Even so, there was that thought in the back of her mind that this was the one thing she never wanted. No matter what, she had always wanted her fate to be designed by her own hand, and this could not have been further from such a dream.

Her wedding gown felt like a prison, and her bedchambers felt like a cage. It was a beautiful one, but a cage nonetheless. She was also aware that she would be exchanging one cage for another that evening, and for the first time she realized that this would be her last day as a member of her household, so soon after her return.

"Will you miss me, Mother?" She asked as she looked at herself in the mirror, "When I am living elsewhere, I mean."

"Of course I will. I missed you terribly while you were away."

Her mother stepped in front of her and took her hands gently.

"I know that I was not the best as a mother. I know that I did not give you what you needed as a child, and you will never be able to forgive me for that, and I will never blame you for it, but there has never been a day that has passed where I did not love you."

"I know," she whispered, "And I know that I was not the best daughter-"

"I will not hear that. You were a blessing, and one accident does not change that. Look at you even now, marrying a stranger simply to please us. You are the greatest gift that we could have asked for, and you must never doubt that. Even your father knows that to be true, even if he would never admit it."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"He is a stubborn man, full of pride. Men like that do not change."

"They can."

She said it so assuredly, because she had lived it. The duke had done so, changing himself entirely because of her, and-

It no longer mattered.

"Well, it isn't unheard of," her mother laughed gently, "But it is incredibly rare. In any case, you are fortunate that it is not something you will need to concern yourself with."

"What do you think would make a gentleman change like that?"

"I suppose he would have to be very deeply in love, and you know perfectly well that your father and I- well, it has never been a factor in our marriage. He would never change for me, it is as simple as that."

"I suppose."

"Why do you ask, dearest?"

"No reason," she lied, "I was simply curious."

"I hope you never lose that curiosity, even if it tends to get the best of you. Now, you need your rouge to be applied and then you will be ready to go. Do you feel ready?"

"As ready as one in my position can feel."

"Ah, the pre-nuptial nerves. I remember my own."

Pre-nuptial nerves, or something of the sort.

She wanted her rouge to be applied forever, so that she wouldn't have to leave for the church. She didn't want to go, didn't want all eyes to be on her as she walked down the aisle and sealed her fate, no matter how much she told herself that it was a good life that she was heading towards.

The dukes were invited, and she prayed that they wouldn't attend. It would be too painful to see them there knowing that she truly wished to be with the Duke of Bolton. The day would be difficult enough without such a reminder.

Regardless, she would walk down the aisle smiling as brightly as possible, marry her suitor and then accept that her life would never be any different than what it was. It was what the duke wanted, and so it was what she would accept.

But the aisle seemed to stretch on forever, and the dukes were there, both of them, right near the front. The Duke of Bolton was nowhere to be seen, which was a blessing, at least, but it only helped a miniscule amount. She wondered why they were there, because they were not friends of hers, nor of Lord Buckingham's, and they certainly would not be in support of the union, but she tried not to question it too much. Perhaps it was simply their way of avenging their friend, though she couldn't understand why they would feel the need to do that. The only reason that she was there was because the duke did not want her, not enough to marry her at least.

Lord Buckingham was watching her approach. He was old, but kind and safe, and while she did not love him she knew that she could like him. He would be a friend, and that would be enough.

Would it?

She reached him, and he whispered something about her looking lovely and she mumbled some form of gratitude and the ceremony began.

It was all going as well as it could until they reached the part about objections. Olivia objected, of course. She objected to all of it, to the way she had to go along with all of it with no thought to how it would change her life irreversibly.

"I object."

Her heart stopped for a moment. She hadn't been the one to say it, or the two. There were two voices that had objected to the marriage in unison, one from far away and one…

One from right in front of her.

"My Lord," she whispered amongst the mutters of the guests, "What is the matter?"

"I object on the grounds that you do not love me, and as stated I am speaking now rather than forever holding my peace."

She glanced at her father, who was scarlet. She was causing a scandal a second time, once again with it not strictly being her fault, and she wished to disappear into another world where she was not herself.

"My Lord, I-"

"It is alright, Miss Staunton," he smiled, "It is as I have always said to you. You are a friend of mine, and I hope that I am a friend of yours. It is quite evident that you could be happier with another, and so it is my duty as your friend to encourage you to do that. Chase your happiness, Miss Staunton. You deserve to."

"But who do you mean?"

"Why don't you ask the other gentleman that objected?"

He held out his hand towards the back of the room, and she followed in that direction until she saw a figure step out of the shadows.

It was him.

"Miss Staunton," he said, his voice shaking as he stepped into the aisle, "Forgive me. I did not mean to intrude. I only-"

He quietened for a minute, taking a breath.

"I came here to make sure you were happy. It is as Lord Buckingham says, you deserve every good thing in the world, and I needed to know that you were going to have it all. I wanted to see you come in and marry this gentleman and leave for your new life, truly I did, but then I saw your face. It is less what I saw and more what I did not see. That fire within you is gone, and its absence is so blindingly clear. This isn't what you want, is it?"

"What else could I want?"

"Love. It is all you have ever wanted, and I know that I have my flaws and my faults but I love you and I know that we could have the most amazing life together."

He had said it so quickly, but everyone in attendance heard him perfectly well. There were gasps and sighs and Olivia knew that it was only partly due to the scandal. Here was the Duke of Bolton, the infamous recluse, professing his love for a lady that as far as they were concerned he did not even know.

"I want to make you happy, Miss Staunton," he sighed, his shoulders slumping, "I cannot promise that I will be the man you deserve, but I can promise that I will wake up each and every morning and try to be. I understand if you do not want me, and I will not blame you if you turn me away here and now in front of everyone here, but I couldn't stand being here for another second without telling you how I feel."

"And you have certainly made said feelings known," her father thundered, "Now, if you do not mind, there is a wedding taking place and you were never part of the arrangement."

"The arrangement," the duke echoed, nodding, "An arrangement between friends in the name of a lady that couldn't say no even if she wanted to. Is that what you mean to say?"

"She agreed to it."

"Under what threat, My Lord? Because the Miss Staunton that I know would never do something that she did not want to do unless she was forced into it."

"She made her choice. She wanted to come home, and as part of that she needed to secure a match. I secured one for her, as any good father would, and now here you are trying to destroy it. Tell him that this is what you want, Olivia, so that this charade can be over and done with."

She knew that it was the safer option. She knew that she needed only to tell the duke that she had made her choice and that she had fallen for Lord Buckingham and the ceremony would continue, but she couldn't do it.

"Do you mean what you said?" She asked Lord Buckingham softly, "Because if you did not, you made your claim first. It is only fair."

"I would never say something that I did not mean," he promised, "Now, look at that gentleman. Anyone can see that he is in love with you, and you and I both know that it would never be something that you and I share. I have waited so long to find a wife. I certainly will not go out of my way to ruin a lady's life just to call her mine. Whatever you decide, I will be happy. All that I ask is that the decision is yours."

It took a tremendous amount of willpower not to pull the gentleman into an embrace then and there. Truly, she had been so fortunate with her match from beginning to end, and that moment was indeed the end of it.

She smiled at him, nodding with appreciation, before turning to run down the aisle and collapsing into the duke's arms.

"You are such a fool," she gasped into his chest, tears spilling onto his shirt.

"I am your fool," he chuckled, "I have been for a long time now. I can only apologize that it took me this long to realize that I cannot bear the thought of living without you. I can grovel for the rest of our lives, if you so choose."

But she shook her head, as tempting as the prospect was.

"It is all forgotten, gone by the wind," she smiled, "We have so many years to look forward to now, and I could never spend all that time angry with you."

The guests seemed unsure of what to do. Some were continuing to gasp, a few even walking out, but others were applauding them. They were quite clearly conflicted, but it was evident to all there that this was what was right.

It was evident to almost all, at least.

"How dare you!" Olivia's father growled, storming towards them, "After everything that I have done for you, you dare to do this to me again? Who do you think that you are?"

"A duchess to be," William said coldly, "And unless you wish to fall out of favor with three dukes at once, I suggest you warm to the idea."

"I will never speak to you again," he snarled at her, ignoring the duke's words entirely, "You have proven once and for all that you are nothing but a wanton, and you have no place in our lives. Come along, dear."

But her mother remained where she was.

"Now."

"Go, Mother," Olivia said gently, "I shall see you soon."

That seemed to be the only permission that the viscountess was looking for, as it was then that she shuffled away with her husband as they left.

"I couldn't imagine speaking to my daughter that way," one gentleman said nearby, "Especially not in front of others."

"Some people simply have no shame," another sighed.

The ceremony ended there, and the guests filed out, leaving Olivia with her duke.

"I suppose we are the sort of people to have no shame," she laughed.

"I have to agree," he nodded, pulling her close, "And I blame you entirely for that, so it is just as well that I prefer it that way."

"And you are sure that this is what you want?"

"I have never been so certain of anything in my life. I think I knew soon after we met that I needed you, and it is my biggest regret that I didn't do myself a favor and accept that sooner."

"And your father?"

"Is a distant memory. You were right, I have choices. I am going to choose to be a different man, and I am going to choose to love and to be loved, and I know that with you by my side I can do that. I can do anything."

"Well, if you want me by your side, there is something you ought to ask me."

"Dare I ask your father for permission?"

"I believe that we are rather past that," she giggled.

"Ah, that is quite the shame. I believe he would like me a lot."

"And why might that be of importance?"

"Because I would very much like to marry his daughter. If she would have me of course."

She laughed gently, and he held her tightly.

"I believe that can be arranged."