Chapter 24

William sat in his study, his decision heavy on his shoulders. He knew he had to talk to Olivia, to tell her about the suitor he had found for her, but the thought of her reaction made his heart ache.

Summoning all his resolve, he called for her, and moments later, Olivia entered the study, her expression curious yet expectant.

"Your Grace," she greeted him with a warm smile, "You wanted to see me?"

"Good morning, Miss Staunton," William replied, "Yes, I did. Please, have a seat."

As Olivia settled into the chair opposite him, William couldn"t help but feel a pang of guilt at what he was about to do. But he knew it had to be done, for both their sakes.

"It's funny," she smiled, "Every other time that I have been in here, it has been to argue with you. It feels different now. It's rather nice."

William agreed, though he knew he couldn't tell her that.

"About last night," William began.

"There is no need to explain," she said quickly, "It had been a long day, and I understand that you were tired. I shouldn't have pushed."

William hesitated, his gaze flickering away from hers as he struggled to find the right words. How could he tell her about his decision? It wasn't what he wanted to say, nor what she wanted to hear, but it was needed.

Doing his duty, as always.

"I"ve been thinking a lot about what you said," he said finally, "About your future, and what"s best for you."

"What do you mean?"

William took a deep breath, steeling himself for her reaction as he prepared to deliver the news.

"I"ve been giving it a lot of thought, Olivia," he began, his tone measured yet determined, "And I"ve decided that you will marry soon. Within the year, perhaps. I have decided on the right suitor for you."

"The right suitor?" she echoed, "So that is why you have been so distant. You've been concerned about it, is that it?"

"Extremely."

"Well, you are not to worry, Your Grace. I trust you completely, you know that. We can navigate all of this together."

"Yes," William confirmed, "And the suitor, he has his faults, but he will be good to you. He is someone with means to support a family, powerful connections, and the kindness that you are looking for. It"s a good match, Miss Staunton. You"ll be taken care of, and you"ll have the opportunity to start a family of your own."

"So this is–" she beamed, "You've decided that you–"

"Yes, Scott has agreed."

Olivia"s eyes widened in shock, her heart sinking as William"s words washed over her. He watched as her face fell, and then froze, as if she were incapable of smiling or frowning.

"Scott?" she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, Scott," William confirmed, "He"s a good match for you, Olivia. He"s well-respected, with means to support a family. And he"s agreed to the match."

"Has he truly?"

"Well, no, but he will come around eventually."

She fell silent, and the only sound in the room was his grandfather clock. The ticking was excruciating. He willed her to say something, anything, but she simply stood up to leave the room.

"Miss Staunton, wait–"

"How could you?" she demanded, her voice shaking, "How could you do this to me, William? How could you make such a decision without even consulting me? Scott does not love me, he loves that horrid lady he brought with him. I told you this, and it is as though you did not listen to me at all. I thought you cared about me?"

"I thought it was what you wanted," he admitted, "I thought you wanted to settle down, to start a family of your own."

"I did, but not like this," she insisted, "Not with him. I barely even know him, William, and the parts that I do know, I cannot say that I like. How could you expect me to marry someone I don"t love?"

"I know it"s not ideal," William conceded, "But it"s what"s best for you, Olivia. It"s what"s expected of you, of both of us. And I promise you, Scott will take good care of you. He"ll provide for you, protect you. You"ll be safe with him."

"I don"t want to be safe," she insisted, "I don't want what you believe is best for me. I want to be happy. I want to marry for love, William. Not for convenience, not for duty, and certainly not because you tell me to do so."

"There is nothing else I can do."

"There is nothing else that you want to do," she corrected him, "You could do so much more, but it is not the easiest choice and therefore you don't want to do it."

"I don"t want to see you hurt," William protested.

He reached out to take her arm, but she yanked it away.

"Hurt?" she scoffed, "If you did not want me to be hurt, you would not have done this, and you know that."

"This will not be forever. You will come around to him in time, and then you will be happy we did this."

"How am I supposed to be happy if I have to see you?"

He froze. Her eyes burned into his, and he had no words left. There was nothing that he could say to change her mind, not when she was so unquestionably furious with him.

"This is my punishment, isn't it?" She whispered.

"No, I would never do that to you."

"But you are! If I marry him, I shall have to see you all of the time, and be so very close to you without ever being able to feel–"

"To feel what, Miss Staunton?"

"Do not pretend not to know."

"I-"

"No. You can play this game all you like, and act as though sending me away will rid you of me, but you are wrong."

"I do not want to be rid of you."

"Well, you have a funny way of showing such a sentiment."

"I do not wish to lose you, Miss Staunton."

"Then I suppose we are both disappointed, Your Grace," she sighed, "It's almost funny, you know, here I was thinking..."

"What?" William demanded, "That I"m some kind of villain? That I don"t care about you? Is that what you were going to say?"

"No, Your Grace," she shot back, "Although now that you mention it, that is not exactly incorrect. No, I was going to say that I trusted you. That I thought you were different. But I guess I was wrong, wasn"t I? The only person that you care about is yourself, and the only thing you care about is never having to change. Congratulations, Your Grace. You have succeeded."

"This isn't what I wanted. You know that."

"I do not know what you want, Your Grace. I thought that I did, but that was foolish of me."

"No, it wasn't. You were right, just- please don't make this any harder on me than it has to be."

"I can"t do this right now. I cannot stand here and make you feel more comfortable about what you have done. I need some time alone."

"No, stay."

"What do you want from me?" she demanded, her eyes brimming with tears, "You want me to go, and then you want me to stay. You want me to like you, and then you don't want me to be anywhere near you. You want me to trust you, and then you want to break my heart. Why didn't you just send me away in the beginning? You want me to suffer, don't you?"

"No, I swear it wasn"t like that," he protested, "I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to do what I thought was best for you."

Olivia shook her head, her gaze hardening as she met his eyes.

"And did you ever stop to think about what I wanted? Or was it always just about what you thought was best?"

A pang of guilt shot through William"s chest at her words. She wasn't right about his intentions, but that didn't matter. The outcome remained the same, and the outcome was that she wanted to leave him, and he hated that. He hated that he was losing her and he couldn't change things.

"I... I didn"t mean to be selfish," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, "I just wanted to protect you, to spare you from the pain I knew was coming."

"You"ve certainly not succeeded there. I"m in pain, and it is completely your fault. But at least now I know the truth. You would never like me, the impoverished girl that should have known better."

"That isn't true."

"Is it not?"

For a moment, neither of them spoke. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, and that she had misunderstood his actions and that he had made a mistake, but the words wouldn't come.

"I need some time alone," she repeated, and this time he did not argue.

He remained rooted to the spot. He knew that he had caused her pain, that his actions had shattered trust between them, and though every fiber of his being screamed for him to go after her, to try to fix what he had broken, he knew that it was too late.

It was as she said, she needed time.

He spent the rest of the day in his study. He did not want to see Scott, and he did not want Miss Staunton to see him. It would have hurt him far too much to see her face if she did look at him.

She was not at dinner. He wondered if she was spending it with the staff so as not to have to see him and Scott, and he had to admit that it was likely for the best. There was no doubt that Miss Margaret was aware of the situation, and she was not going to be kind about it.

"Mother, do you happen to know where Miss Staunton is?" he asked her when they had finished.

"I believe she has spent the day in the garden. She left with a basket earlier," she replied, "Is everything all right, William?"

"I"m not entirely sure," he admitted with a sigh, "We had a disagreement earlier, and I need to speak with her. It"s important."

"She didn't seem too upset earlier. She was actually quite determined, which I thought was quite strange considering she was only going for what I believed to be a picnic."

"She came back after that," Scott laughed, "I saw her this afternoon. She did not seem to be interested in conversation, though."

"That is enough, Scott."

"I saw Miss Staunton leave after that, if that is any help," Margaret announced.

"You saw her leave?" he asked, "Why were you watching her?"

"I was going to speak with your brother, if you must know," she huffed, "Now, do you want to know where she went or not?"

"You know perfectly well that I do."

"Then ask me nicely."

God, he hated her.

"Please tell me what you saw, Margaret."

Margaret nodded, a smirk playing on her lips.

"She had a bag with her, and she was sneaking around as if not wishing to be caught. She seemed rather upset."

"When was this?"

"This afternoon, perhaps around three o'clock."

"Margaret, it is now nine o'clock. Why didn't you say anything?"

"She tells everyone how capable she is. I decided that she knew what she was doing. In any case, she will return soon. Nobody is stupid enough to be out alone at night."

Except Miss Staunton had done so before, and William knew that as he was the one that had found her.

"I will deal with you later," he said to Margaret before turning to Scott, "As for you, I want to know exactly what you said to her."

"Nothing worth all of this, I assure you. She is likely sulking elsewhere and will be back by morning, brother."

"Scott, now."

"Fine. I told her that her attention was nice enough, but that I would never do that to myself. She did not take it as intended, of course. Ladies never do."

"I do, Scott," Margaret said all too sweetly.

"I have heard enough," William snapped, storming out.

She could be angry with him, furious even. She could tell him that she never wished to see him again, and that she would have had a better life if she had never met him, but that did not change how he felt.

He needed to find her, and he needed to bring her back safe.