Chapter 23
He did not speak to Scott that night.
He found that, as he walked through the house, he could not face the other guests. They were too lively for him, but more than that he simply felt that it was not the place for him to be.
Scott, Miss Staunton, his mother; they belonged in the light. He belonged in the darkness, where he could not hurt anyone. For the longest time, he had thought himself to be the only person that was not a problem, but sitting on his bed he realized it was quite the opposite.
And thanks to that darkness, he would have to lose her.
He knew, deep down, what Miss Staunton's words had implied. She had grown attached to him, had feelings for him, feelings he couldn"t reciprocate. It did not matter how much he wanted to. He couldn"t afford to entertain the notion of a romantic relationship with Miss Staunton, no matter how tempting it might seem. He wasn"t the right man for her, couldn"t offer her the love and happiness she deserved.
With a heavy sigh, he sank into the nearest chair. He knew, with a certainty that bordered on conviction, that he was ill-suited for fatherhood. He had witnessed firsthand the devastating impact his father"s actions had on their family, the way his mother had suffered in silence. And as he grew older, he swore to himself that he would never subject another soul to such torment, that he would break the cycle.
Frankly, he wasn"t worthy of her affection, and he couldn"t bear the thought of causing her pain. But even as he made his decision, a part of him couldn"t shake the lingering doubt, the fear that he was making a mistake. He couldn"t deny the undeniable pull of her presence, the warmth of her smile, and the way she made him feel alive.
But for now, he pushed those thoughts aside, burying them beneath a facade of determination and resolve. For her sake, he would do what was necessary, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness in the process.
Scott, his younger brother, was far from the ideal suitor for Miss Staunton. He lacked the maturity, refinement, and steadfast character that William believed she deserved in a partner. Scott"s reputation as a carefree and somewhat reckless individual preceded him, and William harbored doubts about his brother"s ability to provide the stability and support that Olivia would undoubtedly need.
And yet, despite his reservations, William couldn"t shake the notion that Scott possessed the potential to mature and grow into the role of a suitable husband. He would grow and change, which was something that William would not do, that he could not do.
"Scott," William began, finding him in the drawing room with the others, "We need to talk."
He was sitting with his friends, who were playing cards without him. They likely would not miss him if he was gone, and he wondered if Scott knew that.
"What"s on your mind?"
"It is a private matter, so we ought to go to my study."
"Is it about me, perchance?" Miss Margaret asked.
"Not at all," he replied firmly, "In all honesty, I had forgotten that you were still here."
She did not like such a response, but he wondered what exactly she was expecting. She must have understood by that point that he did not like her, no matter how much his brother did.
"Well," she stammered, "We hardly talk about you, either."
"Wonderful, keep it that way."
"Will," Scott said, "Be nice."
"When it is deserved, to be sure. Now, come on."
Scott looked at the group, who were smirking at him save for Miss Margaret, who seemed rather annoyed. He rose from his seat and followed William out of the room, and the two of them remained by the doorway for a moment.
"I hate the duke," Miss Margaret said almost instantly, "It is a shame, because I had so hoped that Scott would be wrong about him."
"Why? It is not as if you are going to marry him."
"No, but he is to be my brother in law. I had hoped we would at least find some common ground."
"There is no finding such a thing with him. He is as hopeless as Scott said, though I will say that he is not as easily led as him."
Scott sighed as he heard them, and then the two went to the study.
"So…" William said, with a faint smirk, "Brother-in-law?"
"She seems to think so."
"Is it not the case?"
"No, not at all," Scott huffed, "I told you, she is a companion of mine, but I do not wish to marry her."
"That is just as well."
"Because you do not like her?"
"Partly."
"Then at least we agree. Now, what did you wish to talk to me about?"
With a heavy sigh, William took a seat opposite Scott. This conversation would kill him, but it needed to be done.
"It"s about Miss Staunton."
At the mention of her name, Scott"s expression shifted into a bemused smirk.
"Ah," he mused, "What trouble has she gotten herself into now?"
"This is serious, Scott," William interjected, his tone stern, "I"ve been thinking, and I need to speak with you about it."
"Thinking about what, exactly? Marrying her off to the highest bidder?"
The accusation hung heavy in the air, and William felt a surge of frustration rising within him.
"That"s not what this is about, and you know it," he retorted, "I"m trying to do what"s best for her."
Scott"s laughter rang out, sharp and mocking, "And what, pray tell, is your grand plan for her? You hardly know what is best foryourself, never mind her."
"What is best for her, of course."
"And you would know what that is because?"
"Because I have asked her. She and I talk, and she has gone into great detail about what she is looking for in a man."
"And it is not you, is that what you are trying to tell me?"
"No," he replied, trying to remain calm, "But you might be. I think you should consider marrying her."
For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Then, to William"s surprise, Scott burst into raucous laughter, doubling over.
"Marry her?" Scott gasped, "You must be joking, Will. We have nothing in common, and besides that, I have Margaret."
"This isn"t a joke, Scott," he insisted, his voice tinged with frustration, "Olivia needs someone who will take care of her, someone who will support her."
"And you think that someone is me?" Scott interrupted, "I"m not ready for marriage, Will. I have my own life to live, my own adventures to pursue. I can"t be tied down to some woman I barely know."
"This isn"t just about you, Scott," he snapped, his voice tinged with frustration, "I know you like it best when everything revolves around you, but it"s about Miss Staunton too. She deserves better than to be cast aside like some unwanted burden."
"But she would be an unwanted burden. I do not want her, that is for certain."
"And your friends do not want you, in case you are yet to notice, so in that respect I believe the two of you would be perfectly matched."
"How dare you speak to me like that," he seethed, "You think you know what"s best for everyone, don"t you? Well, allow me to be the one to tell you, William, but you are not. You"re just as clueless as the rest of us. At least I know how to enjoy myself."
"At the expense of others," William huffed, "When are you going to grow up, Scott?"
"I never had to, Will," he admitted, "And never shall I. Not when I had the perfect brother to overshadow me at every turn."
"You cannot envy me for that. It is a gift to be the youngest, to cavort around doing whatever you please because you know there will be someone there to fix everything."
"And as a result I am a horrible person, is that what you are trying to say?"
"No!"
"Well, it is true. I"ve never had to be a better person, Will. Not when you were always there to pick up the pieces, to be the shining example of everything I could never be."
"That"s no excuse, Scott," he retorted, "You can"t just blame me for your own shortcomings."
"I"m not blaming you, I"m just stating the facts. You"ve always been the golden child, the one everyone looks up to. And I"ve always been the one who can never quite measure up. You know, I thought those people there were my friends, real friends, because I never told them I was the brother of a duke. I thought they liked me for who I was."
"And who is to say that they didn't?"
"You saw it yourself. Margaret may like me well enough, but only for the life I would provide as a husband, and as for the two gentlemen… They see me as a way to stay in a duke's residence and nothing more."
"Scott, I–"
"No. I always sit and smile and allow people to mistreat me and that will not happen now. Pardon me if I have used your money William, but something good had to come from my life. I am never going to be good enough no matter what I do, so I might as well do what I want."
"You can change that, Scott," William insisted, "You can be better."
"Maybe I don"t want to be better, Will," he countered, "Maybe I"m perfectly content being the way I am."
"Then your life will never change."
"No, but at least then it will be on my terms."
"I pity you. To be so young and so content to never be anything more than a rake."
"Well, tell that to Miss Staunton. You all must think that I am a fool, but I know exactly why you brought me here. This was your plan all along, wasn't it? To marry me off to Miss Staunton and force me into all of these responsibilities that I never once asked for."
William stayed silent; he was not exactly wrong.
"Well, brother, you cannot force me to," Scott sighed, turning to leave, "You overestimate your power as a duke. You cannot make me marry her."
"I do not plan to force you. I only want you to consider the option. Think of how happy Mother would be."
"Then why don't you marry her? You seem to know her so well. This is not my problem, William. It never was, and you and Mother dragging me here does not change things. I have no interest in her, and that is final."
"You will not be receiving my blessing to marry Miss Margaret, if that is something you were hoping for."
"I do not require it, as much as I'm sure you hate that. You cannot and will not control who I marry, and as she is a lady that makes me happy I shall do as I please."
"Then you are not the man I thought you were."
"If you thought I was the sort of man that would marry out of obligation purely because you said so, then you never knew me at all."
He then turned on his heel and left.
William was furious, but he knew that arguing was no use and so he had to leave him be for the moment. He knew that, with time, Scott would see reason. Miss Staunton needed their help, and at least for their mother's sake he would do the right thing.
Now, William realized, it was time for an even harder conversation.