Chapter Twenty-One

Brooklyn

THE FUNERAL WAS yesterday and Gavin has barely been coherent since we left the hotel to go to the cemetery. The second we got back, he climbed in bed and pulled the covers up over his head and fell asleep. He hasn't stirred since then and Jayce has had to tell me more than once that he'll be okay. Gavin had a tumultuous relationship with his dad and things were bad more than they were good. He believes that if it weren't for Gavin's stepmom, Gavin never would've had a thing to say to his dad and he wouldn't have met Kyler when he was born. While he's seen Mia once, Carrie sent him pictures every single week so he could at least see his brother, sister, and dad on a regular basis. He has them all stored in a box in his closet at the clubhouse and pulls them out when he's missing them. That's the only time he ever looks at the pictures and it breaks my heart to know that's the relationship he had with his family.

Watching Gavin break down when he was giving his eulogy broke my heart into a million pieces. When I stepped up next to him, I knew he needed the comfort I could give him and wanted to be there for him any way he'd let me. As I read the words he carefully wrote out for the eulogy, my heart shattered even more as he gave a glimpse into his life. Gavin doesn't open up about his dad at all. I'm not one to push him about that kind of stuff so this is all stuff I'm learning about him as we go. I just hope he doesn't fade away to nothing like his dad did. Though I can tell Jayce knows about the strained relationship between Gavin and his dad because he's been at his best friend's side since he was called at work when we learned what happened.

Today, Jayce and the guys went to the house to pack up what they knew the kids and Gavin would want at our home. The boxes were loaded up in a trailer that was rented to one of the SUVs. Fetch will drive it back with the ol' ladies in his vehicle. Creed is driving the other SUV with all the kids in it. Jayce made sure to lock the house up once they cleaned out the refrigerator and boxed up the nonperishables that we're taking back to the shelter to donate. He's hiring someone to keep an eye on things until Gavin is strong enough to come back and take care of things with us and decide what to do with everything moving forward. I have a feeling he'll keep the house for Kyler and Mia when they get older. What he does with it until then is his decision to make. Jayce and I will be by his side no matter what.

Mrs. DeGraw called us this morning to let us know what was going to happen moving forward with the kids. When we get back to Odin's Gap, we'll be assigned a caseworker to ensure we're doing everything right with the kids' best interests at heart. They'll keep a file on our home life and how the kids are adjusting to their life with us. I don't think Mia will have a problem, but I do worry about Kyler. Jayce is worried about him too. He's so quiet and hasn't said more than a word or two since we picked him up from Mrs. DeGraw. I don't believe this is how he normally is, but he has no clue what's going on and Gavin certainly isn't helping the situation by being so withdrawn and ignoring his brother and sister. When he held Mia at the funeral yesterday, I was shocked and I know Jayce was the same as we looked at one another.

We were planning on flying back to Odin's Gap with the kids since we flew here the night Gavin got the call from Mrs. DeGraw. Instead, with the club showing up and staying with us, we've decided to drive back. Jayce will rent an SUV for us to take home. I think it will be better for the kids because we can stop when they need to and we'll have the club with us. For now, I'm just trying to keep Kyler and Mia entertained as I wait for Jayce to get back to the hotel so we can wake Gavin up to get ready to leave. I'm hoping that once we return to Odin's Gap he'll start to lose the black cloud enshrouding him and start to come back to us. If not for us then for Kyler and Mia. They're going to need all of us to lend them support and strength at this time.

As I sit on the floor with Mia getting some tummy time and Kyler sitting next to me watching Bluey , I look up to find Gavin standing in the doorway of the bedroom we've been sharing as he watches us. I want to jump up and race to his side, but I don't know if that's what he wants. I'm trying to take cues from him and give him what he needs.

"Gavin, are you okay?" I ask him, my voice soft and hesitant as I continue looking at him.

"I don't know, Love. Why are you on the floor?" he returns, his voice raspy and filled with sleep as he takes a few steps closer to us.

I know he's been disengaged, lost in his head, but his question proves it further, since I've done this with Mia before. Cricket and Fee both stressed it was important for little ones because it helps them develop or something like that. Figured since I have twins coming, I definitely need the practice and while the circumstances behind it are horrific, I'm enjoying ‘practicing' on Gavin's little sister. I just wish I could figure out how to break through to Kyler, but guess we'll have to wait until we're home. Maybe meeting Nanny's chickens, or Fetch's dog will help. Little boys like that kind of thing, don't they? I know Nanny will be a wealth of information when it comes to raising a little boy, but there's time enough when we hit Odin's Gap and have the kids settled.

"It was easier to be on the floor. Mia needs some tummy time and Kyler was sitting down here playing with his motorcycle. I just realized it looks like your bike," I tell him, picking up the motorcycle Kyler's abandoned and show it to my husband.

"I never noticed that until now," he answers distractedly. "I'm gonna take a shower. What's goin' on for the day?"

"We're heading home today, Gavin. Jayce is grabbing some stuff from the house to take to Odin's Gap with the guys. He's renting an SUV so we can make the trip with everyone else. I don't really want to fly with the kids if we don't have to. We'd get home quicker, but with everything going on with them, I feel the best thing for them is to drive back," I answer him as he just continues looking at us on the floor. "Plus, with Mia being an infant, I understand flying can be hard because it hurts their ears. Don't really feel like spending a few hours in a plane with her screaming if I'm being totally honest."

"Okay. Whatever you and Jayce feel is best." He sounds so lost, my heart breaks for him, but remembering how I was in my head, I decide to extend him as much grace as he and Jayce have given me. He'll come through this and we'll be alongside him every step of the way.

Gavin disappears back to the bathroom off of our room. My eyes fill with tears and I don't bother holding them back as they slide silently down my face. Kyler notices and places his little hand on my arm without saying a word. He's giving me comfort in the only way he can as I smile sadly down at him. Kyler is such a loving little boy and is always there for his sister. The second Mia starts crying, Kyler stops what he's doing and jumps up to race to her side. Jayce and I have both watched him do it. That's the only time we see him display any emotion as he whispers to her. It honestly makes me wonder how often Kyler had to comfort his baby sister since she was born.

Being back in Odin's Gap is surreal. I left with just Jayce and Gavin and we're returning with a little boy and baby girl. Jayce drove us home while Gavin sat up front for the first time since I've come into their lives. I told him to sit up there so I could be in the backseat with the kids. Mia would need bottles made for her and Kyler would need help with the snacks Jayce bought for our trip. Plus, I knew we'd be stopping through drive-thrus at the very least to get food on the trip home. It's just easier for me to be back here with them instead of up front and leaving Gavin to try to figure out what to do when he can't stay out of his head long enough to do much good for anyone around him.

Jayce pulls up to our house and the other SUVs pull up behind us. Apparently everyone is coming to our house for some reason. I know the guys are really worried about Gavin and want to be there for him. The ol' ladies know enough to realize that this is a time for the men to step in and help their friend and brother while they remain in the background as silent support. These men served in the military together and know how each other deals with certain things.

The other ol' ladies and I get all the kids into the house with Fetch's help, leaving the men outside. While Nanny heads to the kitchen, which has me grinning, Fetch sets up two playpens so the sleeping babies can be laid down. Fetch looks down at Kyler, who is dogging his steps and grins. "Hey, little man, I've got a dog named Jethro. Do you wanna meet him?"

Kyler's eyes go wide as he nods. "I like doggies," he whispers, causing all of us to gasp. He really hasn't said much of anything and right now, I could kiss Fetch for managing to break through the walls that Kyler seems to have built around himself since being taken to the social services building and learning his parents weren't coming home again.

"Why don't you play with my phone, I have this cool game on it, and I'll go get him, okay?" Fetch asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. It didn't take him long to replace the burner phone with the newest version of what he already had because he likes playing games during any downtime he has and the burner phone didn't allow for that, so he finally parted with some of his money.

"Okay," Kyler says, taking the phone from Fetch, who quickly opens up a game and shows him how to play it.

"I'll be back in a few, ladies," Fetch announces.

We nod as we settle around the table while Nanny bustles around. She looks over at me and says, "Think you may want to start a list of things you're gonna need for the kids."

My eyes widen because with all of us gone, there was no one to take care of the basics at least. We're going to need a crib, a bed, dressers, more clothes. . . feeling faint, I drop my head only to feel a hand squeeze my shoulder. "We're gonna help you make that list," Robynn announces, pulling a pad of paper and a pen out of the giant bag she carries.

"Thank God," I murmur, completely overwhelmed. However, knowing that my sisters have my back shores me up and I take the items Robynn hands me and write down the obvious furniture items first.

Each of the ol' ladies add items based on what was packed up at the kids' old house, and soon, we have a rather extensive list.

"Can we order anything so we're not taking every vehicle the club has to get it all?" Cricket questions, giggling.

"Maybe some of the clothes because they've got plenty for the time being, but they're gonna need some warmer things as we move into winter," Robynn replies. "We can also go online and order the furniture for pickup, too, to save some time."

"I'll go get the laptop so we can do that," I say, standing.

"Fetch! What the fuck?" I hear Jayce yell then Jethro bark as the front door is opened.

Fetch's voice comes through as he says, "Kyler wants to meet him. He spoke y'all."

"Carry on then, but if he shits in my house, you're cleaning all the floors," Jayce retorts.

By now, we're all giggling and even Nanny joins in as Fetch and Jethro make their way into the kitchen, where Nanny coaxed Kyler so she could give him a snack. He's still playing the game, but alternating between sipping his juice and eating some crackers and cheese.

"Sit, Jethro," Fetch commands once he's next to Kyler, whose eyes are so big he looks like one of those anime characters. "Now, shake," he says, pointing to Kyler.

When Jethro's paw lightly touches Kyler's hand, the little boy starts giggling and I feel the tears welling up and falling down my face. He sounds like a normal kid, not one who has gone through such a tragedy. Fetch shows him how to shake Jethro's paw while the dog's tail thumps against the floor and his tongue lolls out.

"Once you're done with your snack, we'll take him out back and I'll show you what he likes to do, okay?" Fetch asks.

"Okay," Kyler says, looking at his plate, which only has a few more crackers.

"Take your time, little man, he's not goin' anywhere, I promise."

Jayce enters the house to watch Kyler eat his snack while keeping an eye on Jethro. When Kyler notices Jayce, he points at Fetch's dog. "Doggie sit."

Jayce's eyes widen in shock as a large smile fills his face. "The doggie is sittin'. Are you gonna go out and play with him when you're done?"

"Yes," Kyler whispers as if he's not sure if he's allowed to go out and play with Jethro and Fetch.

"That sounds fun, Kyler. You stay with Fetch and we'll be around if you need us," Jayce tells him as he remains in the house with us.

As Kyler finishes his snack and cleans up his place at the table, Fetch leads Jethro to the back door to wait for the little boy. The women have everything ordered already and we don't have more than an hour to wait to pick up the furniture. While we wait for it to get ready, we plan on going shopping for the things we didn't order. Food for the kids, formula for Mia, some toys and games, bedding, and more clothes we can actually hold in our hands instead of just ordering online.

"Jayce, we're gonna head out. Who do you want us to take with us?" I ask my husband walking up to him as the girls grab what they need to head out.

Nanny and the guys can take care of the kids while we're gone. It will be too damn chaotic to take all the kids with us to get things for Mia and Kyler.

"Take Theo and Rion. Theo can get around in the wheelchair good enough to go with you and Rion can do the heavy liftin'. Let them pick out some things they think Kyler will like since they were little boys once upon a time," Jayce answers me as Gavin enters the house and his eyes immediately find me.

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and hold him. He holds me close for the first time since the phone call that changed our lives.

"I love you, Gavin. Always and forever no matter what we're going through. I'm here for you. You just need to let us in to help you," I whisper so only he can hear me.

"I love you, Brooklyn. I'll be okay eventually. I just need some time to wrap my head around everythin'. Thank you for everythin' you've done over the last week to help me get through this difficult time," he responds just as quietly.

After kissing both of my men goodbye and making sure Kyler and Mia are okay, the girls sweep me away and we load up in an SUV. Theo and Rion are already waiting for us inside the vehicle. We head into town immediately and are followed by Creed in one of the guys' trucks to load up all the furniture we've ordered for the kids.

"How are you handling everything, Brooklyn?" Ophelia asks me once we're away from the compound.

"I'm worried about Soul. Really worried. I'm slowly gathering that he didn't have the best relationship with his dad growing up and now he doesn't get any kind of closure. His dad has passed away and Soul has to live with the guilt and pain filling him about the situation," I answer them honestly as tears fill my eyes once more. "I don't want the kids to be hurt by the way he's so withdrawn and distant. Especially Kyler who is already so quiet and lost. Today is literally the first time he's said anything unless he's whispered to Mia when she's fussy. He's so quiet and I don't know how to help either one of them."

"You've been doing it, Brooklyn. You're showing Soul and Kyler that you're there for them when they're ready to open up. Just keep being you and they'll come around sooner than you expect. Remember, you locked yourself away for weeks because it's what you needed to do. Soul is dealing with a lot and might need to just take some time for himself the way you did," Cricket says, her voice softer than I've ever heard from her.

"That makes sense," I reply. "Then I'll just keep doing what I've been doing, I guess. Plus, it's not like we're alone, we have all of y'all."

"Yes, you do, and the guys will help Soul get sorted out," Robynn says. "He's not only having to grieve the loss of what could've been with his dad, he's also got to adjust to the fact that y'all have a ready-made family plus are expecting your own baby. It's definitely overwhelming."

Before long, we're pulling up to the store where we ordered the furniture. Creed pulls the truck over to where you pick things up at the side of the building while Rion parks the SUV as close to the front of the store as he can. We all get out and walk around Theo as he wheels himself inside the store. Every single one of us grabs a cart and we make our way to the baby section where we can grab everything we need. Rion and Theo head for the games to pick out toys and things for Kyler while the rest of us systematically make our way through the store to grab everything else. By the time we're done shopping, every single cart is overflowing with the items we need for the kids. Cricket and Ophelia actually left their full carts up at customer service to grab two more for the food we'll need to bring into the house for the kids. I'm fucking exhausted and we still have so much to do once we get home. Welcome to being a parent!