26. Luke

Cleaning himself up in the bathroom quickly so he could get back to Ally, Luke grabbed a washcloth to clean her up with. Walking out of the bathroom, he smiled when he noticed she hadn't moved from the position she collapsed in on the mattress, her face buried in the fluffy comforter.

Touching her bottom gently so he didn't startle her, he chuckled when the only response she gave was a whimper of satisfaction.

"Roll over, baby. Let me clean you up and then we"ll snuggle."

Whining in protest, Ally did as she was told, rolling over lazily to face him. She grinned at him, though her eyes were closed. He grinned and spread her legs to clean her sensitive folds. She moaned as he moved the warm cloth against her skin. Tossing the towel aside when he was satisfied she was clean, Luke laid down next to her, pulling her body against his.

"Mmm… Daddy."

She rested sleepily against him, moaning gently as he laid delicate kisses along her cheeks, jaw, and neck. This Little girl had become so special to him in such a short amount of time, and he would make sure she knew how much he cherished and loved her. Blinking away the wetness in his eyes when he finally realized he was in love with this precious baby girl, Luke laid his head down against her. He prayed she would love him back.

He was almost asleep when he felt Ally stir. Peeking through his eyelashes, he watched as Ally struggled to move her body out from under his arm that was holding her against him. Tightening his grip, Ally whined quietly as she tried wiggling harder, making him chuckle.

"Daddyyyyy, I was trying to not wake you up."

Opening his eyes all the way, Luke grinned. "Where ya goin', little girl?

"I'm sooo thirsty. My throat is really dry from screaming."

Nodding his head, Luke climbed from the bed.

"Aww, I'm sorry I didn't think of getting you a drink, baby. Let's get you into a fresh diaper and then we can go get some juice and snackies."

Ally reached for his outstretched hand, gripping onto his index finger with her tiny hand. Luke helped her up onto the changing table and worked quickly to wrap her in a thick white diaper, adding an additional diaper stuffer that would be absorbent enough for bedtime. He snapped the crotch of her onesie, making the diaper more secure on her.

When Ally was back on her feet, she looked down at her crotch and poked the thick padding.

"This one is so much thicker than the last one."

Smiling down at her, he nodded. "Yeah, it's a bedtime diaper. Littles tend to potty a lot throughout the night, especially when they need juice to soothe their throat right before bedtime."

She giggled when he referenced their hot session causing her to need juice. Gripping her hand around his finger again, she followed him to the kitchen, her diaper crinkling with every step. He loved that sound, so innocent and pure, yet he knew it would be reminding her with each step she took that she was just a Little girl who needed her Daddy.

"What does the hungry bunny want for snackies? Want some goldfish crackers and grapes?"

Ally nodded enthusiastically as he moved throughout the kitchen, pulling a sippy cup and glass for himself from the cupboard before retrieving her snacks. Pouring the apple juice into her sippy cup, he tightened the lid and handed it to her. She stared at it momentarily before lifting the cup to her lips and sucking on the spout happily. A surge of love washed over him.

"Thank you, Daddy. It's so yummy."

Leaning his face down to her, Luke kissed her lips gently, tasting the apple juice she had just drank.

"Anytime, baby girl."

Luke set a princess plate of goldfish crackers and cut up grapes on the kitchen island in front of her. Ally sat quietly in her highchair, watching him. Clapping her hands happily, she nibbled on her snacks, occasionally reaching out her hand to give him an offering.

"Tomorrow it isn't supposed to snow so I thought we could go get a Christmas tree together. We could pick out one for your house, too."

His heart dropped when her eyes lowered sadly to the plate in front of her.

"Oh… um… okay, but I don't need a tree for my house."

Ally's eyes stayed fixated on the pink princess plate as she fiddled with a goldfish cracker between her fingers. Luke stared at her for a long moment, her long eyelashes hiding her deep green eyes.

"Baby girl, look at me."

She obeyed, raising her eyes to meet his. Pain washed over her face, making his heart ache for her. Removing the tray in front of her, he picked her from her highchair and carried her to the couch, pulling her into his lap as he sat.

Stroking her hair gently, Luke searched for the questions to ask. "Talk to me, baby girl. What's going on in that brilliant head of yours?"

Her lip trembled and he could see that she was trying to hold back the tears welling in her eyes.

"I don't like Christmas," she said, her words barely a whisper.

Confusion filled his brain with her words. She always seemed to be so fascinated with all the lights and décor whenever she saw them. How could she not like Christmas?

"Why don't you like Christmas, baby girl?"

Ally shook her head, lowering her head into her hands.

"Sweet girl, Daddy can't help or understand if you don't talk to me. I can tell that whatever is causing you pain is hard for you to talk about and it kills me to know you are so sad. Can you try to talk with me about it, baby?"

Luke waited patiently until she finally nodded her head. She sat in his lap quietly for several minutes before she spoke.

"My parents died on Christmas Eve almost five years ago. I haven't celebrated since. It was always our favorite holiday, but it hasn't ever felt the same since they've been gone."

Her voice cracked as she talked, the sorrow in her voice thick, and it killed him inside. Luke wanted to hug her close to him and tell her everything would be okay, but it still wasn't, even five years later, and he couldn't just make her pain disappear. It wasn't a knee scrape that he could kiss and put a bandage on. His heart broke for her. Not only losing her parents but losing them on Christmas Eve. Luke waited silently, rubbing her back and trying to encourage her to continue talking.

"My parents always went snowmobiling with friends on Christmas Eve. My mom rode with my dad because she didn't like riding alone. It was a warmer winter than normal, and they rode over a frozen lake. The engine died and their friends didn't see that they were stopped so they just kept going. The lake broke through and my parents went under. By the time their friends realized they weren't in the group, they backtracked, but my parents had already drowned in the frozen water."

Ally began sobbing as she finished telling him what happened, her tears spilling down her cheeks in a flood of emotion. Swallowing the lump that formed in his throat, Luke pulled her tighter against him, letting her cry in mourning for her parents. He couldn't think of any words that would provide peace so instead, he just held her and would hold her for as long as she needed.

"I got you, baby. I'm here."

Ally nodded against his chest as her crying quieted and turned into sniffles.

"I haven't celebrated or even decorated for Christmas since they died. My mom used to go all out for Christmas and would start decorating before Thanksgiving. She would bake all month long in December and give the cookies away. She used to always make me sugar cookies, my favorite, and let me decorate them. She did that even when I became an adult. It was one of my favorite memories. She always said more icing went into my mouth than on the cookies."

Luke chuckled.

"Your mom sounds like a wonderful lady. I'm sorry I missed out on meeting her."

Ally nodded and gave a small smile.

"She was the best. My dad was, too. He made the best hot chocolate. He always put in extra marshmallows and added cinnamon. Every Christmas Eve since I was a kid, we would watch that funny Christmas vacation movie and dad would make hot chocolate, and we would eat mom's cookies and wear our favorite Christmas pajamas. I still watch the movie every Christmas Eve and make my dad's hot cocoa and I eat cookies, but they are store bought because I can't bake very well. I guess it makes me still feel close to them, as silly as that sounds."

Luke smiled as she spoke about the precious memory.

"That doesn't sound silly at all. That sounds like a wonderful way to honor their memory, baby girl."

Her sad eyes raised to meet his, her lip trembling as though on the verge of tears again.

"That's why I don't want a tree."

"Baby girl, it's okay if you don't want a tree. But from what you are telling me about your mom and dad and how special Christmas was to all of you, I think they would want you to celebrate and keep all the traditions going that you did together."

Ally sat quietly as she thought about his words.

"I don't know. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way."

Luke nodded, stroking her back absently as his mind went into overdrive trying to think about how he could make the holiday less painful for his sweet baby girl.

"I know it's hard, baby, but what if we do some Christmas stuff together? I will be here with you the whole time and do my best to make it extra special and if it becomes too much or too emotional, we can throw all the Christmas stuff out and eat pizza on Christmas. We can go get a tree for my house and Daddy can make cookies for you to decorate and we can do everything that you used to love doing with your family, and maybe you and I can even make some of our own traditions as we go."