Chapter 19

NINETEEN

Dee

For the next few months, Dee painted like a woman possessed, desperate to catch up on the time she missed. She didn't go back to her flat in the city just yet but made good use of her old studio at her parents' house. She painted until she was past hungry, until her fingers were cramping, until her brain felt like it had been stripped entirely of thoughts and sense. It was a haze, wonderful and unmemorable all at the same time. It consumed her and she loved it.

A desperate scratch came from the other side of her studio door and she put her brush into the cup. She'd never been a fan of interruptions because nothing was ever worth being disturbed for. That was different now.

She opened the door to find Millie on the other side with an expectant look and her lead in her mouth. It was remarkable just how expressive a dog's face could be.

"You're right, it's time for walkies," Dee said, stroking the spaniel's head. "Let's go see your best friend."

Millie barked and charged to the front door, knowing exactly where they were going. It had become part of their routine, something that Dee hadn't expected to enjoy so much.

The fresh air and the fields had grown on her and she had a newfound appreciation for them. She'd always found Crescent Valley suffocating and stifling. She'd never been able to paint properly here.

Nowadays, when she walked over the frozen clods of mud, it made her smile. If only her teenage self could see her now, enjoying the slow life of the village she so desperately sought to leave. Walking the family dog over shitty roads, nodding at neighbours, making daily visits to the old craft store to see her rival. It was truly a strange twist of fate and the weirdest part was that most days, Dee found it perfectly normal.

She passed by Crescent Lake where it had all started and she called Millie to her, clipping her back on the lead. She wasn't risking another repeat of that night, even if it all turned out alright.

The craft store was only five minutes further and looked just as out of date as it always had. Dee stepped through the glass doors, the little bell chiming as it always did. She headed straight to the counter where Clarissa was helping a man with his purchase.

Their eyes met and Dee received a smile that was just for her, one that made her whole body tingle. She waited patiently for her turn, unlike Millie who was whining with excitement.

Clarissa came around the till and the spaniel's tail went even faster.

"Someone's happy to see me," Clarissa remarked, fussing the dog's snout.

Dee chuckled. "I am, yes." She leaned in, capturing Clarissa's lips with hers for a kiss that was mostly appropriate for public display but it was nothing compared to the type of kiss they shared in private.

"You have paint on your face," Clarissa pointed out, touching the tip of her finger against Dee's cheek. "Pink, this time."

"It was a productive day so far."

"I can't wait to see it. I've been enjoying getting an early look."

"Perks of knowing the artist." Dee took Clarissa's hand in hers, noting the difference in them. Unlike when they first met, her own hands were stained with paint whereas Clarissa's were pale and colourless. Winter wasn't exactly the best season for painting outdoors and the long hours looking after the shop and her dad were clearly taking a toll on the bear shifter.

Dee wished she could do something, do more, but Clarissa was stubbornly independent. Even though they were together, they weren't quite a real team just yet. That sort of thing didn't happen overnight although Dee wondered if it ever would. To make this work, both would have to give more than they currently were.

"How's your dad?" Dee asked, as always afraid of the answer. She knew it was one of the things that bound Clarissa to this place, tethered her. It stood between them, just like Dee's career or flat in the city, but they weren't really talking about it. One of them had to make the first move but neither were.

Clarissa put on a brave smile. "He's holding on and driving me crazy. Yesterday, he took Bork for a walk and almost passed out on a random corner. He's a stubborn old man."

"Looks like stubbornness runs in the family," Dee quipped as she gave Clarissa's hand a little squeeze. "I'll have more time after my paintings are done. I can help more."

"From the city?" There was no venom in Clarissa's tone, no accusation. If anything, she just sounded tired and a little guarded.

Dee hesitated. "What if I don't go back to the city? I could stay in Crescent Valley?"

"You can't live with your parents indefinitely and your home is in the city. I won't make you move here for me." Clarissa mustered a smile. "We'll make it work. That's what we said, right? And this is working, isn't it?"

"It is," Dee said, not adding the instant thought that followed. For now.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and a curse slipped from Dee's mouth. "I really need to mute my agent. Sorry, I have to take it."

"Go for it," Clarissa said with a little wave. "I'm going to close up the store."

"I won't be long," Dee promised as she answered the call. "Hello, Angela."

"Dee! The pictures you sent me are amazing. I love, love, love what you're doing right now."

"You like it? You don't think they're too different from my usual style?" Dee replied, trying not to let the worry consume her. Worrying wouldn't help her. This was what she was creating and she had just as little say over it as anyone else. It was what the muse demanded.

Angela squealed with excitement. "I'll reserve my final judgement for when I see them in person but they're gorgeous. So vibrant and haunting at the same time. I love the contrast between the city and the countryside, the industrial versus nature. It has so much depth and personality, it's great. The gallery is going to be relieved because they've been hounding me, you know. Don't worry, I fended them off saying you would deliver because you always do. But wow, this is beyond what I expected. Now I totally understand why you were taking your time."

Dee was honestly surprised. She liked her new pieces but she wasn't sure anyone else would, they were different from her usual style. Still buildings, still cityscapes, but with different emotions than just the celebration of solitude. There was longing for the countryside, the weight of loneliness, the corruption of nature. All new feelings that Dee hadn't felt before.

"You really think they're my best work so far?" Dee asked, not usually one to search for validation.

Angela's voice trumpeted in her ear. "Absolutely! I don't know what they're putting in the water over there but it's fantastic."

"Funny, I never used to be able to paint here. Not freely, anyway," Dee said, remembering just how eager she used to be to get out of here. She'd rented a room in the city as soon as she had the money and never looked back. And somehow, now she couldn't seem to drag herself away from Crescent Valley.

The thought took her aback even if it was only putting words to what she'd been feeling for the past weeks. And suddenly, it all seemed so stupidly crystal clear, and she knew exactly what she needed to do.