Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Clarissa

With a yawn, Clarissa shuffled out of her bedroom so she could start breakfast. She hadn't been all that surprised to find her bed empty. She'd even expected it. This was Dee Lewis she was dealing with, after all. It would take more than one great night of sex to thaw her.

She flicked the kettle on and put two slices of bread in the toaster, brown because she was trying to be healthy. The crinkling of the bread bag was followed by the clicking of dog paws on the tiles, which was just business as usual.

"Morning, Bork." She tickled the border collie's head although he didn't have much interest in her and was already looking for crumbs.

Millie joined him in his search, sniffling loudly.

"Morning, Millie." Clarissa paused in her tracks and frowned at the sight of the two dogs. "Millie? What are you still doing here?"

The spaniel gave her a hopeful look and licked her lips. She looked adorable with her head tilted to the side, clearly trying to work out what was happening.

"Where's your owner?" Clarissa asked, glancing around the flat. The bathroom door was open and she couldn't imagine that Dee was in her father's room. Had she just left and forgotten her dog?

That didn't sound like her.

Her slices of toast popped up and she carried them to the table on a plate. Two notes were waiting for her in her spot and she picked up the first.

"Not sneaking out, needed to paint. See you soon, Dee," Clarissa read, her eyebrows rising. The word 'needed' had been underlined twice as well, just to emphasise the urgency. She looked at the second note which was in her father's writing. It was shaky and just a single word.

Store.

"I wonder what that's about?" Clarissa asked the dogs, showing them the notes.

They gave her blank looks, their tails wagging hesitantly.

Clarissa ate one slice of toast with butter while she got semi-dressed. She wasn't sure what to make of all this but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. In general, it was better not to get her hopes up.

She grabbed her key and made her way down to the store, surprised when the lights were already on. And more than that, she saw Dee standing behind an easel.

Clarissa's heart fluttered. So she hadn't left at all. She was right here, totally lost in her painting, and looking all the more beautiful for it. The focused look on her face made it clear she was totally engrossed in her work and Clarissa considered not interrupting.

Then again, if Dee hadn't wanted to see her again, why would she have stayed?

She unlocked the door, mesmerised by how in the zone Dee looked. She was standing straighter, her lips kind of pursed, her gaze locked onto her canvas. Her strokes were frantic and wild in some way while perfectly controlled in another.

Clarissa cleared her throat. "Hey."

Dee snapped from her haze, a startled look appearing on her face. "Oh. Hi. It's morning."

"It is. How long have you been down here?"

"Few hours?" Dee stepped back from her canvas, her arms and hands covered in flecks of paint. There was even a streak of red on her face. She'd looked like the passionate determined teenager Clarissa remembered but with the confidence of age instead of the arrogance of youth. It was the most beautiful thing.

Clarissa hesitated. "How did you?—"

"I, umm, ran into your dad which was totally awkward. He said I could paint here. I think he just didn't want me to leave you so he also totally knows about last night." Dee's cheeks flushed almost as red as the paint on it.

"I'm surprised my dad let you paint in here. I'm not even allowed." Not quite ready to discuss the previous night, Clarissa gestured at the canvas. "Can I see?"

"Be my guest."

Clarissa stepped around the easel and her breath hitched. The painting in front of her was far from finished but it had the same confident bold strokes as all of Dee's regular works. A silver crescent moon illuminated tall buildings with the night sky reflected in every little window. There was more colour than her usual pieces, splashes of green grass, strokes of reddish brown, deep dark blues that gave the piece an ethereal look. But mostly, it captured emotion. The wild desperate strokes fought with the calmness of the piece, making it feel fleeting, fragile, like a memory on the verge of disappearing.

"I love that," Clarissa said earnestly, totally impressed and in awe.

A little smile tugged one side of Dee's mouth up. "It needs a lot more work but I just needed to paint. I wanted to capture how I felt this morning in your bed. The quietness of the room, the grandness of the sky through the window, the feeling of being alone in the world while not being alone at all. I could feel it."

"I'm happy for you. And I'm totally taking credit for unlocking whatever needed unlocking," Clarissa said, grinning now she knew what had inspired the piece. The work wasn't a literal depiction of their morning after but it was filled with the emotions from it, which made it even more special.

Dee smiled properly. "Fair. So you're not mad?"

"No. I mean, last night was pretty impulsive. We didn't really talk about what it means, if it means anything at all. Was it the start of something? Just some fun?" Clarissa crossed her arms over her chest. "Any regrets?"

"Definitely no regrets. And it was fun. Very fun." Dee fought a yawn and ran her hand up and down her neck, exposing the back of her arm.

Clarissa froze. The pink marking on Dee's arm didn't stand out all that much but it was there and definitely new. A mating mark that looked suspiciously familiar.

She pointed it out. "You're marked?"

"What?" Dee gave her a frown, only blinking slowly.

"Your arm."

Dee had to contort her body to check, her eyes glazing over. "Shit, I didn't notice. Time just kind of slipped away and I forgot. I, um... Is it... Yours?"

There was both dread and hope in her voice which made Clarissa feel all the more conflicted. "Show it to me again?"

Dee stepped closer, evoking memories of last night. Clarissa's heartbeat quickened and her fingers tingled with the urge to touch the mating mark. She traced the lines, discovering she could do so with her eyes closed.

"It's mine," Clarissa breathed, not quite managing to swallow the lump in her throat. Of all the ways she expected this conversation to go, this wasn't it. They were fated.

Fated. She couldn't believe it was Dee, except that she could.

The blank look on Dee's face wasn't helpful though. "I... don't know what to say."

"Something. Anything."

"I'm only back in Crescent Valley temporarily. And I know the city isn't that far away but when I get in the painting zone, there's not really much room for anything else. And you've got the store and your sick dad who you can't leave." Dee's forehead creased, the thinking line only growing more pronounced as she continued. "It's not like I asked for this. I didn't come looking for a fated mate. "

With every word, Clarissa's stomach twisted tighter and tighter. There were stories about shifters being rejected by their fated mates but it was a rarity. She'd certainly never thought it would be happening to her.

"Are you saying you don't want to make it work?" Clarissa asked, her jaw clenching shut. She should've known that she'd be left behind again. This was just history repeating itself, like it wanted to make sure Clarissa remembered her place, that she was never going to get out of this little town and that it would never be enough for someone like Dee Lewis.

The realisation didn't even hurt as much as when she was a teenager.

Dee gave her a pained look. "No, I do want to make it work. We're fated mates. It's just not going to be easy."

A bitter taste filled Clarissa's mouth and her voice was tainted by it. She took a step back, suddenly desperate for space or air or something else she couldn't put her finger on. "Do you only want to make it work because we're fated? Would you be saying these exact things to someone else if you woke up with their mark? Or are you just done with me now your muse is back?"

"That's not fair," Dee whispered, sounding surprisingly hurt. "I'm here, aren't I? I stayed before I knew we were fated. I'm saying this to you, not to anyone else. I want to give this a try even if it's going to be hard."

It was a good point but Clarissa turned away, reaching for the hard edge of the counter to grip onto. She was too overwhelmed to be happy or excited, and those feelings confused her. Why wasn't she glad about this development? Why was she more distressed about Dee wanting to make something complicated work than her sneaking out of her bed?

Maybe it all sounded too good to be true. Dee Lewis was her fated mate and wanted to be with her and it all felt like a dream and a nightmare tangled together.

Dee's hand landed on her and the touch didn't just burn her shoulder, it made her shifter mark on her hip tingle. It reminded her of the lovely night they spent together, before they were fated, a choice entirely and truly just theirs.

She turned around, facing Dee's piercing gaze even though her heart was pounding. She didn't know if she wanted this, if she could allow herself to want this, but her worries melted away as Dee slid her hands up her arms. She melted into the embrace, only realising now that she had walls of her own to lower if this was going to work.

"Say yes," Dee whispered in a strange turn of events. Usually, it was the shifter doing the convincing.

Clarissa lost herself in the depth of Dee's eyes and found herself nodding. It was the only answer to this question because she did want it to work, she wanted it more than she ever let herself. She bridged the gap, connecting their mouths for a kiss that tasted of hope and memories at the same time. And it made perfect sense that they decided it here, in the craft store where their past, present, and future were colliding.