Fucked

THE WORST HANGOVER in history isn't even my biggest problem when I open my eyes.

Rather, it's the tall, dark, and handsome gentleman standing by the balcony doors, and because I've always believed Giancarlo has invisible eyes at the back of his head—-

I'm not even surprised when he turns to face me as soon as my eyes have opened.

The old witch wins again.

Even when I knew she was baiting me last night, I still fell for it. I've pushed the right buttons once and for all, and now I have Giancarlo's immediate and undivided attention.

"How are you feeling?"

The mildness of his tone alone is terrifying, and I don't even want to think of how he looks or I might just end up wetting the bed. He's still gorgeous like always, but the gentleness I've become used to - and admittedly take for granted - is completely gone. All that's left is a mask made of steel, and it makes me feel the Giancarlo in front of me is a complete stranger.

"Any headache?"

I nod, and he gestures toward the bedside table. "Drink that."

I obey without hesitation and nearly choke. Whatever this is tastes like shit, but no fucking way am I going to complain about it.

"Give it a few minutes," he murmurs.

I nod again. Any kind of reprieve is good news, and maybe if I'm lucky, my headache will last for hours.

Maybe.

But it doesn't, and Giancarlo being a supernaturally gifted alien in a human's body, seems to sense the moment my headache subsides.

"Better now?"

My heart knows the moment I say 'yes', it will be all over for me. But even though I know I deserve whatever punishment he has in mind—-

"I'm s-sorry."

I'm too scared to be brave, and the words of apology come tumbling out in a shaken whisper.

"P-Please don't be mad—-"

"I'm not."

I don't think he's lying to me, but the mildness of his tone tells me something's still wrong.

"But you can't say you didn't know what you were doing last night."

"I'll never do it again—-"

"That's exactly what I'm hoping for...and why last night cannot go unpunished."

I don't even have time to draw my next breath.

As soon as he's done speaking, he's on the move, and the world I know shatters as soon as I realize he has me stretched over his lap.

"No!"

Old fears and wounds that I thought had already healed are reopened, and I forget everything that matters.

"Let go of me!"

I forget that this is the only man in the world I trust—-

Giancarlo who would rather kill himself than break his promise—-

I forget how everything I know that's good is because of him.

"Fucking let go!"

Because the past once again has me in its vicious little clutches, and no, no, no!

I don't want to be helpless, don't want to be powerless, don't want to be hurt again!

"You cannot say you were not warned, signorina ."

SLAP!

My body arches at the first blow to my backside, and I scream like a fucking pig that's about to be gutted alive.

"Or that I did not take the time to properly explain to you—-"

"Fuck you!"

SLAP!

Another scream rips out of my throat. The motherfucker isn't even holding back.

"—-how much I abhor anyone who insists on drinking even if it's proven to swiftly impair their senses."

I'm struggling, kicking, and clawing. I'm doing everything I can to be free, but it's all futile.

SLAP!

"Do you not remember what I told you about the past?"

I remember, dammit. And because I now realize this is about his father and grandfather's death again—-

"Did I not make it painstakingly clear to you, signorina—-"

I know I was wrong.

"That of the factors in play was one of our security detail failing to make it to his post on time because of his drinking problem?"

No matter how much I was hurting last night, I know now it's still no excuse to hurt him back.

SLAP!

I lose count of the number of times he spanks my ass, and by the time he gently turns me around, the tears on my cheeks have dried, and all I can do is stare at him.

I want to be angry with him.

But I can't.

Because as much as I wish I could tell him he had no fucking right to punish me like this—-

I get it, dammit.

Because if our positions were reversed, I already know my hardened heart would make me exact a much greater punishment than this.

"Don't ever do this again."

His tone has changed. And instead of mildness, all I hear is the rawness of his emotions, and the sound breaks me because I just don't know—-

"I'm sorry," I choke out.

I don't know if I can promise not to keep pushing buttons.

"Why, Sarica?"

He's bleeding in front of me once again, and I start to cry.

"Why do you persist in fighting me so?"

Because I'm still a burden to you...when I realize now that I've been in love with you all these years, and fuck, fuck, fuck!

The sound of Giancarlo sucking his breath in makes my head jerk up, and my own throat tightens.

How?

The way he is staring at me makes it so damn obvious.

How the fuck does he know—-

"Say it," he grits out.

"S-Say what?"

"You know damn what."

As soon as I start shaking my head, Giancarlo actually grips my shoulders and gives me a shake.

"SAY IT, SARICA—- "

"Why?" I cry out. "Why should I say it—-"

"So I can say it back."

No. No. No.

All I can do is stare at him.

All I can do is wait.

All I can do is fear.

He couldn't have possibly said what he said.

And if he did, then he can't have possibly meant it.

He can't.

But when all he does is stare back at me.

God.

Oh God.

Is this real, God?

I'm not sure how or why it happened.

But I'm suddenly back on his lap, my legs around his waist, and our mouths fused in a kiss that makes me cry because I've never tasted anything sweeter.

Tears roll down my cheeks even as I suddenly find myself lying on my back and Giancarlo is moving down between my legs—-

AAAAAAAH.

My body arches up as he tastes the most intimate part of my body.

Giancarlo...

Oh, Giancarlo...

My love.

I'm dying to cry the words out, but I can't.

I want to so, so much, but he deserves more than a burden.

Giancarlo, my love.

All I can do is sob and claw helplessly at the sheets as I come, my body shuddering helplessly under the relentless thrusts of his tongue.

I sense him moving up as my body grows heavy in the aftermath, and my eyes slowly flutter open.

"You're mine, Sarica."

Yes, I am.

"As I am yours."

Oh God, why?

"And that's why I will never let you go."

I believe him.

It scares the shit out of me to believe him, but I do.

And that's why...

My heart shattered anew when I found out Giancarlo had lied to me...days after his brother Cesare was arrested for murder.