Paige

PAIGE

It's easy to keep Paxton distracted with all of the Christmas prep and my sister of course. Although we don't have a tree inside—and, really, what could compare to the tree at my apartment that Eli sent over—we do have the entire state park, full of pine trees that are ripe with the holiday atmosphere.

Snow comes down heavy, and Penny promises him that they will build snowmen and make snow angels in the morning. After presents, she amends when Paxton reminds her.

With him occupied, I've been able to wrap what little presents I've accumulated. I was not a fan of Penelope pulling him on a sled behind her snowmobile, however. When I caught them, they shared a look with each other and tried to pull off the sheepish, innocent look. They were unsuccessful.

In any case, I've spent most of the afternoon in the kitchen, making treats to make up for the lack of toys. At least until I could go home and face my father, who would have plenty for him. Penny reassured me that she had her own stash too.

Still, I don't like making such rash decisions when they can affect Paxton so much. Like this one. But it does seem safest for him.

Rolling out my batch of gingerbread, I cut and shape them and lay them out on a pan to wait for their trip in the oven. Right now, I have a batch of sugar cookies and a white sweet potato pie. Next will be a coconut cake, and maybe some reindeer chow after that.

I really should be prepping for dinner instead, something big enough for tomorrow too.

Overwhelming emptiness comes over me, and I have to stop to press my hand against my chest.

This was a smart move for Paxton. It doesn't matter what I need right now. Even if I want Henry singing Christmas carols with Paxton, Eli putting up decorations and Jake sneaking a taste of everything while strategically finding ways to be in the way yet helpful at the same time.

Huffing, I rub the backs of my wrists against my eyes. Honestly, I want my dad here too. Then, the holiday would be complete. I'd have everyone I love here.

And maybe then, I wouldn't be thinking about how mortified I am, how I won't be able to show my face at work. Can I even go back? The pictures the newspapers ran showed a fair amount of skin, but other ones appeared online. Ones that revealed a lot more of me than I wanted the world to see.

I didn't have to scroll on my sister's phone for long before I dove into baking. So, maybe all the treats are more about me than they are about Paxton having a good Christmas. He's three. He'll have a good one because we will be there with him, making him the center of attention, and playing plenty of games.

He's always had more than enough toys, and I learned early that the time is more important than the things.

I refocus on the treats, pulling the sugar cookies out before they burn and shoving the gingerbread men in.

Still, most of the baking means waiting, and I'm back to worrying and panicking in rounds. Are the guys going to cut me loose instead of protecting me? Why didn't they pick me up early, warn me, bring me in to face the whole thing as a team? Show that it won't affect our work.

I shake myself loose long enough to smile at Paxton as he waves his dinosaur at me.

I'm disappointed that this is the way it's turned out. But, I haven't had the courage to turn my phone back on. Not with the phone calls Penny has received from reporters, wanting to ask her questions about me.

Both of our phones are off, and I feel bad for Dad again. He shouldn't be alone right now. Without all three of us.

My heart grows heavy as I redirect myself with dinner. Penny has a small ham that's nearly thawed, potatoes, green beans, and some rolls. All things Bub will eat, so that's what I start on.

Once the ham is in and the treats are out, I wash up and take a moment to breathe. The sun has gone down, the curtains closed, and the fire is lit in the hearth. The scene is sweet with the stockings Jackie packed up for us hanging on the mantel.

Penny has turned on cartoons and is singing along beside Paxton like a dork, clapping her hands and making the gestures like the characters do in the show. His giggle is like an ambrosia, refilling me in a way nothing else can.

I close my eyes for a second, letting my love for him take over.

A knock pounds at the front door of the cabin. I startle back, my lungs in my throat. No one can find me out here. Can they? They knew how to find Penny's phone number. Would one of those reporters trek all the way out here to find me for a story?

Penny glances at me as she gets to her feet. "Probably just another ranger checking in after seeing the unknown car. Relax. Go back to obsessively cooking."

She waves her hands at me on the way to the door, but I can't go back to what I was doing. The bubble has popped. I hold onto the counter's edge, between the door and the spare bedroom I can dash into if need be.

But once my big sister opens the door, Dad saunters in past her, his face stern. Upset. Intent on me.

I do my best to stand my ground, even though I want to shrink back. But it just takes a moment for my Dad to reach me and he grabs me and reels me into the tightest hug he's ever given me. Even tighter than the one he gave me after I told him I was pregnant at eighteen and that the father couldn't be in the picture.

This hug encompasses so much more.

Because he has to have figured it out by now.

My fingers curl into his flannel overcoat and I finally let it all out. All of the tears I've been trying to keep at bay. From the shock, from being attacked, from feeling violated and so alone with it all. It's a relief to let it out. I sobbed hard and fast, then after a while it recedes.

Dad is running his hand over my hair, rocking me, and whispering soothing sounds as I settle like he used to.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks softly against my temple.

"How could I? They're your best friends." A layer of shame drops over the rest of it. I should be ashamed of myself for wanting three men. Three older men. My dad's friends. My bosses.

But I don't. I'm only ashamed for not being honest. For the way it came out.

"Which is why I ripped them new assholes the entire drive here," Dad proclaims, and I jolt.

"They're here?"

"They are." Dad squeezes me to him a little tighter before he releases me. I wonder if it's any easier as we get older, but I have a feeling it's never easy to cope with one's child growing up.

I deliberately pause to look Dad in the eyes and smile. "Thank you, Dad."

He nods and smiles back, then I head towards the porch. I grip the railing when I see all three of them waiting by the truck, shadowed by the night. When they spot me, they rush forward. I meet them at the bottom step where the glow from the cabin highlights their serious features. Gloomy almost.

But I can't keep in how happy I am to see them, tears swimming in my vision again. They all reach for me at once. Hands on my shoulders, elbows, neck, back, waist. Each of them comforting me.

When I finally smile, I'm surrounded, as if none of them could wait.

"We're so sorry, beautiful," Eli whispers against my forehead. "You're more important than the business. More important than investors."

"This shouldn't have happened," Jake says in my ear. "We should have been here for you."

"We should have protected you better." Henry kisses my temple. "Kept you safe."

Here's the thing: with all of them here, now, I do feel safe and protected. At least to the point that I don't care about the other things.

Tears spill again, but only a few. And they're kissed away.

I suddenly notice that they're all dressed in jeans and flannels like my dad. Work boots. And they're clothes are wet.

"What did you guys do?" When I pull back, I'm damp too. And cold. I shiver as the snow blankets my hair and bare collarbones.

"Penny. Grab your sister's jacket. Would you?"

"Sure, Dad."

I turn to peer at him at the side of the porch, plugging something in. Electricity pops behind me, and I spin around. Six hands keeping me steady as the trees in front of the cabin glow around the giant one in the middle. The perfect Christmas tree with big blue lights and bright white stars that reach the top.

Which one of them climbed that thing?

But in front of the tree is a Santa bag—red velvet lined with white. It's big and half-full.

"What is all this?" I ask breathlessly. It's beautiful.

"It's for you." Jake squeezes me around the middle, dragging me back against his chest.

Paxton comes running out of the cabin, tumbling down the stairs and straight into the snow. His giggles fill the night sky as he pops up. "Did Santa come early?"

"And for him." Henry caresses my cheek, those small changes I saw in him—and the massive ones—when he confronted me about Paxton remain in his gaze. "I can't wait to spoil him."

"Me too." Eli reaches around me and smiles. "Penelope."

"Elijah." Penny hands him my jacket, and soon, I'm smothered in down and warmth. Jake has me encircled again, like he can't stand the thought of letting me go.

"Can I open presents now?"

Henry throws Paxton on his shoulders and walks out to the bag. "We have to wait until the morning, Bub. We promised Santa."

"You promised?"

"Yup. And we can't break our promises, right? Or Santa might be upset."

"No upset Santa."

"That's right."

God, my heart is breaking open from too much joy as they go to retrieve the presents together.

The soft rumble of Eli's voice fills my ear. "I want a lot of those little people, like the one you've got there."

Shivering, it's not from the cold.

"Me too," Jake says behind me. "The more the merrier."

"Alright. Alright. It's all pretty and romantic, but it's freezing. So get your rumps inside before someone catches a chill. Namely, my sister." Penny claps her hands three times, using her ranger voice—or as I knew it first, I'm-older-than-you-and-you'll-do-as-I-say voice. "Let's go."

I laugh, and we're all ushered inside. Penny has Paxton help her unload the presents, but Dad lingers for just a second.

He points at his three best friends. "You know my policy. It's not a threat. Don't make it a reality."

I can't help it, I have to ask Dad "So, you're okay with this?"

He shakes his head but doesn't seem disappointed. "You don't think I haven't noticed how happy you've been? Why would I not be okay with that?"

I grin, hug him, and let him retreat to join Penny and Paxton.

The guys lure me toward that back room. "You guys really need some dry clothes. And maybe a hot shower."

All of their eyes brighten with dirty thoughts and I cross my arms.

Sobering, Henry takes my hand, pulling away my defenses. "It was Sabrina. Jealous probably. She clung to me at the Christmas party."

"And gave me unending stink eye. Yeah." I nod. "That makes sense after she couldn't sabotage my presentation."

Taking a deep breath, I sigh. "It doesn't matter right now."

Their gloomy expressions return, like they're afraid I might reject them after all that.

"I don't expect you three to be perfect." I meet Henry's gaze meaningfully. "I'm certainly not. Besides, I love you. All three of you."

The words are barely out of my mouth before they have me sandwiched between them again, being kissed and cuddled and loved.

"We're going to need to rethink our sleeping arrangements," Henry says as he peels my sweater off me.

"None of us want to be left without you for a moment."