6. Gabby

She didn't know what she had done to deserve a man like Sean in her life, but the way he sat with her while she slept after her panic attack and then talked to her and reassured her that she wasn't a total freak made her feel something inside of her that she'd never experienced. She wasn't exactly sure what the feeling was, but she never wanted it to disappear.

Sitting in his lap had been heaven, and it was the first time she'd ever truly felt like a little girl. She didn't want it to end, and when he let her snuggle up against him on the couch while they watched a movie, she felt so at peace and safe. Who knew that feeling safe could be such a meaningful feeling? She supposed since she hadn't ever really felt safe in her life that it meant more to her than it would most people.

Now, he was offering to pay for her to see a therapist, and the idea tempted her, but she also felt some of that fear that she was so used to creeping into her mind. What would Sean want in return for him doing that? What would he expect from her? Surely he wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart because people didn't do things like that. People didn't do things like that, did they?

"Why would you want to do that?" she asked quietly.

She almost expected him to get angry that she was questioning him, but instead, he walked over and sat on the stool next to her.

"Because I care about you. I think you're a wonderful woman and an adorable little girl who needs someone in her life that cares and expects nothing in return. I want to be that person for you. The one you can come to for anything and know that I will help you in any way that I can."

Gabby stared up at him and felt that he was being genuine when he spoke. His eyes were focused on hers, and she believed that he was telling the truth.

"But I can't… give you anything in return… I don't have any money, and if you want sex, I…"

Sean held up his hands to stop her.

"Gabby, I want nothing from you in return. I don't want money, or sex, or anything. I just want to take care of you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to be my Little and me to be your Daddy, but whether that was ever to happen or not, I would still want to do this for you."

He wanted to be her Daddy? Her? He could have any woman he wanted, and he wanted her? Was he blind or crazy or both?

"You want to be my Daddy?"

He smiled shyly and nodded, and it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. Big, strong, manly Sean was smiling shyly at the admission of wanting to be her Daddy.

"I feel a pull towards you, Gabby, and I think you are adorable and sweet. I love having you in my home, playing in the nursery, and letting me read you bedtime stories. I've missed being a Daddy and having someone to take care of. It's my nature, and having someone like you who needs my care does something for me that makes me feel whole again."

Holy cow.

She almost looked down at the floor to see if she needed to pick her jaw up off the ground.

"I don't know what to say to that. I enjoy being here too. I've never had a Daddy or someone who wanted to take care of me."

Sean stood and walked around to the cutting board where he had been cutting vegetables.

"I'd love to take care of you if you let me, Gabby. I know it will take time for you to trust me, but I'm a patient man, and I will work to earn your trust."

Several days went by after her panic attack, and she was slowly getting more comfortable talking to Sean. Most of their conversations were kept light, and he hadn't asked her any more questions about her past, much to her relief. She was afraid that he would realize she was garbage once he found out about her life and would want nothing to do with her.

He read to her every night, except instead of sitting across the room in the rocking chair, he now sat on the edge of her bed to read. He rarely touched her without asking first, but he always offered to let her snuggle with him. She liked that she was given a choice, and the few times that she was feeling anxious or a little down and had shaken her head at the offer, he just smiled and nodded.

She hated feeling like she was letting him down, but he never made her feel bad about it or acted like he was upset. It made it so that, more times than not, she took him up on his offer to snuggle on the couch.

Sean had arranged for her to have an appointment with his friend, Savannah. He reminded Gabby that she was in the lifestyle herself, and that she was very kind. Gabby couldn't help but feel a bit of jealousy run through her as Sean spoke about the woman. She wondered if Sean and Savannah were involved somehow. But then Gabby reminded herself that Sean had said that he wanted to be her Daddy one day, so she pushed the thoughts from her mind.

"Hey, cutie, what are you doing?"

Gabby looked up from where she sat on the carpeted floor of the nursery and smiled at Sean. She was getting used to seeing him pop in to check on her, and his height didn't frighten her as much as it did the first time she'd seen him.

"Patches and I are playing fetch, but he won't go get anything I throw for him, so really, I'm playing fetch."

She giggled at herself, knowing she probably sounded silly. Sean grinned.

"Silly, Patches. He must be a lazy dog, huh?"

Gabby nodded and shook her finger at Patches.

"You're a lazy boy, Patches."

Sean chuckled, "It's about time to go to your therapy appointment. Why don't you bring Patches with you?"

She tensed but nodded. The thought of talking to a stranger about her life scared her, but Sean had assured her that Savannah was very professional and wouldn't judge her at all. It still made her uneasy. Grabbing Patches, Gabby came to her feet and followed Sean downstairs. The only time she left his house was for work, so that was another thing that was making her feel unsure. Anything out of her routine threw her off.

Luckily, the drive was short, and when he opened the car door for her, she looked up at him and then down at Patches, unsure whether she should bring him with her.

"You can bring Patches, baby girl."

Smiling up at Sean, she held Patches under her arm and got out of the car. When Sean turned to start walking, Gabby couldn't resist reaching out to hold his hand. He froze and looked down at her, and for a brief moment, she thought she'd made a mistake, but then he grinned and squeezed her hand gently before leading her into the office building.

As soon as Dr. Savannah Tolland walked into the waiting room and called Gabby, all the jealousy she had pushed aside came rushing back. The woman was beautiful. She was tall, blond, blue-eyed, and had the type of curvy figure that Gabby could only dream about. She gave Sean a hug which made Gabby want to claw her eyes out, which was silly because Gabby had no say about who Sean dated or Daddied. But she didn't like the idea of him Daddying or dating anyone else.

What is wrong with you? Stop being jealous.

When she got to Dr. Tolland's office, the doctor told Gabby to sit anywhere she felt comfortable. Except Gabby wouldn't be comfortable anywhere in this stranger's office, so she just sat on the leather couch.

"Gabby, you can call me Savannah. I'm not sure what Sean has told you about me, so I want to give you a little information about me and the type of therapy I offer. Does that sound like a good way to start?"

Gabby nodded and hugged Patches closer. Savannah probably thought she was ridiculous for bringing a stuffed animal with her. It was evident that the woman was sophisticated and well educated. She would be the perfect match for someone like Sean.

"I'm what's called a sex-positive therapist. I specialize in therapy topics related to sex and BDSM, but I am qualified and experienced in providing any type of therapy my patient needs. Some people come because they want to talk about vanilla topics and some people come because they want to talk about their sex lives or things related to them. There is no topic off limits here, and I will always keep what we talk about confidential unless you talk about self-harming or suicidal thoughts. Do you have any questions about that?"

"Are you and Sean dating?"

Gabby's eyes widened as soon as the words came out, and she slammed her hand to her mouth in mortification. Savannah smiled gently and shook her head.

"No. Sean and I are only friends. I'm not sure what he told you about me, but I'm a Mommy, and I'm sure you know that Sean is a Daddy. We wouldn't be compatible even if we tried. Besides, from what he told me, he already has a little girl named Gabby in his life that he seems to care for very much."

Sean had told Savannah that he cared for her? Did he really like her that much? Maybe he was serious about wanting to be her Daddy.

"Sorry I asked. I didn't mean to."

Savannah grinned, "That's quite alright, Gabby. You can ask me anything you'd like when you're here. I always promise to be honest with you, just as I hope you'll be honest with me. Sean is a good friend. I've known him for many years. He's a wonderful man and a very sweet Daddy. You found a good one when you met him."

She nodded and looked down at her hands nervously, although the knot of jealousy and worry in her tummy had dissipated at Savannah's reassuring words.

"Sean told me you've been experiencing panic attacks. How long have you been experiencing those?"

"For as long as I can remember," she said quietly.

Savannah nodded, "What is your dog's name?"

Gabby blushed, "Patches. I've had him since I was a kid."

"Do you hold Patches when you have a panic attack?"

"If I can. Sometimes he's not around when I have one, but I hold him if he's close by. It seems like my panic attacks aren't as bad when I'm able to hold him and pet his fur."

Savannah smiled, "I bet it does help. Dogs are known for helping people with anxiety, and I bet even stuffed dogs have the same effect. Have you ever had a real dog?"

"No. I've always wanted one. I love dogs. They are my favorite animals. And cows. I love baby cows. Especially those really furry ones."

Gabby stopped when she realized she was rambling, and Savannah was grinning at her.

"Those little hairy cows are the cutest, aren't they?" Savannah asked warmly.

She nodded and smiled back at the kind woman.

"Have you ever had a panic attack when you've been in Little space, Gabby?"

It took her a moment to think about it, and she realized that she hadn't, but up until she had lived with Sean, she had never really been in Little space. Even while living with Sean, she still had her guard up even when she was playing in the nursery. She explained that to Savannah, who jotted down notes.

"It sounds to me like submerging yourself in Little space might be helpful to keep your attacks at bay. Have you thought about asking Sean to help you get into more of a Little headspace?"

Nibbling on her bottom lip, Gabby wasn't sure how to answer that.

"I think about him being my Daddy. I'm scared, though. I'm so damaged and have so many things that frighten me that I'm afraid I might freak out if I give up control or if he does something I'm not ready for."

Savannah stood from the chair she was sitting in and came to sit beside Gabby, looking her right in the eye.

"Gabby, has Sean done anything to you that you haven't been ready for since you've been staying with him?"

She immediately shook her head, "No, not at all. He's been so kind and careful around me. I don't trust people easily, especially not men, but I feel safer with him than I've ever felt with anyone."

"The most important thing in any relationship is communication. If you communicate your concerns, limits, and fears to Sean, I have a feeling that he will do everything in his power to make sure you feel safe and that he will respect all of your limits. Some Doms like to push limits, but Sean prefers that whoever is in his care feels safe and comfortable with him," Savannah said.

She thought about Savannah's words. Could she ask Sean to Daddy her? That would be a big step and a terrifying one at that. It would also mean that the feelings she already had for him could become deeper, and then when it was time to move out of his house, would she be able to handle that loss?