4. Gabby

She was in heaven. Sean's was the most peaceful and relaxing home she'd ever stayed at. He let her play in the nursery as much as she wanted, although she was careful not to mess anything up, and she always made sure to put everything back exactly where it was when she was done playing with it.

Sean took her to and from work each day, and he would make small talk with her occasionally, but he didn't force her to talk for the most part. She was slowly beginning to feel more comfortable around him, but she reminded herself often not to let her guard down. Monsters always stayed hidden… until they didn't. Gabby found it challenging to keep distance between them because Sean seemed to be sweet and thoughtful and, most of all, gentle with her. He also had a stern side, though the sternness she saw from him didn't scare her.

He had read her a story each night before bed, and most nights she wasn't even able to make it through the entire book before she fell asleep. It was the easiest she'd ever fallen asleep, and for the most part, she was sleeping through the night as well. She had only woken up twice to nightmares, and thankfully she hadn't screamed out in her sleep during them so she hadn't woken Sean.

Sometimes she wished he would sit beside her in the bed while he read to her or, better yet, hold her in his arms while she sucked on a pacifier and snuggled against him. She appreciated that he seemed to be so careful with her and didn't crowd her space, but she also kind of wished he would.

Silly, right?

Gabby dreaded the day she would have to leave his house and move into whatever crappy apartment she could afford. And based on the rent prices in Seattle, it would be an apartment in the slummiest area of the city. She felt jealousy spike through her at the thought of another Little coming to stay with him after she was gone. Heck, she didn't even like it when she had thoughts about the Littles who he'd taken care of in the past. She'd wondered how many Littles he'd had live at his house before her.

She pushed those thoughts away as much as she could because each time she started thinking about leaving Sean, she began to panic. Her anxiety levels had been low since moving in with him, and she chalked that up to feeling safe. The last thing she wanted was to go back to near-daily panic attacks. They were only happening once every few days now, and so far, she had been able to hide them from Sean. It helped that he mostly left her alone except during meals and storytime.

"Hey, Gabby girl, do you want to watch a movie tonight? I have a whole selection of DVDs you can choose from."

Looking up from where she sat on the floor of the nursery, Gabby's breath caught in her throat. Partly an automatic reaction of fear whenever he appeared in the doorway and partly because he was so handsome and the t-shirt that he was wearing was tight enough to show off his sculpted arms.

You will never be good enough for a man like him. Look at him and look at you. He feels bad for you, and he's a nice guy. He's just being nice.

"Okay. That sounds good."

He smiled, "Awesome. How about we order pizza and have a pizza night and eat popcorn during the movie?"

She grinned and nodded, "Okay!"

A look of satisfaction on his face made her feel giddy inside. He was always so expressive with her, and it helped her read him and feel safer.

"I'll go order. Any particular kind you want?"

Gabby shrugged and looked up at him, suddenly feeling unsure. She had never been able to choose what kind of pizza she wanted, so she didn't know what she would ask for.

"Anything is fine," she said quietly.

Sean studied her for a moment before nodding and disappearing from the doorway. Turning back to the stuffed animals and dolls lined up in front of her, Gabby continued to play.

As soon as she heard the doorbell, she cleaned up the toys she had out and placed them back where they belonged. Just as she had put the last stuffed animal on the perfectly made bed, Sean appeared in the doorway.

"Sweet girl, you know you don't have to keep the room as clean as you do. I want you to use and enjoy all the toys and everything in here. There's nothing wrong with a little mess."

Turning to look at him, Gabby tried to figure out if he was making fun of her for keeping it so clean or if he thought she was weird, but all she saw was concern and kindness.

"Okay," she said quietly.

He smiled softly making her feel a flutter low in her tummy in response.

"Come on, let's go eat and find something to watch."

The evening was perfect. Sean had ordered two medium pizzas and got half and half on each one, so there were four different kinds of pizza for her to choose from. It was like he was a mind reader sometimes. That or he was just thoughtful. She had tried a small slice of each kind and decided she liked plain cheese the best.

He let her pick the movie they watched, and it took her a long time to decide. He had a ton of DVDs to choose from, and it didn't help that she hadn't seen even a quarter of the animated movies that he had. She hadn't had the chance to watch very many movies as a kid. She finally settled on The Secret Life of Pets. She had never seen it, but it had a bunch of dogs on the cover, and she loved dogs. The movie was cute, and she giggled several times at the crazy antics of the animals, which she noticed made Sean smile.

Gabby wondered if he had actually enjoyed himself or was just watching the movie for her benefit. Either way, she appreciated it, and several times throughout the movie, she wished she'd had the guts to move over to the couch he was sitting on and climb into his lap.

She knew a good-looking man when she saw one, but no man had ever affected her the way Sean did. Gabby couldn't remember the last time she felt as though she wanted someone's affection so much, or the last time she thought about wanting to kiss a man. Heck, she was pretty sure that he was the first man that she ever even thought about wanting to kiss. She doubted that he felt the same about her. Sean seemed like the type of man who was genuinely kind and wanted to help people. It wasn't like she was special enough to get a man like him.

He was definitely wealthy if his home and car were anything to go by. He was tall, with green eyes, chestnut brown hair that he kept trimmed nicely, a short, manicured beard, and one of the sexiest smiles she'd ever seen. He also seemed to be one of the kindest people she'd ever met. She still hadn't convinced herself that he wasn't a monster hiding behind a halo, but for some reason she felt safer with him than she had felt with anyone in her entire life… though she knew she was a complete idiot for even thinking about feeling safe with a man. Men couldn't be trusted. Not in her world anyway.

The following day, Gabby didn't have to work, so she stayed in the nursery and played as much as she could except for when Sean came and got her for meals. She liked that he didn't shout at her from downstairs to come down and eat. A person could only handle so much shouting in one lifetime. He always walked up to the nursery and knocked lightly on the doorframe so he didn't startle her.

She sat at the table, waiting for him to bring her whatever he had made for lunch. When he brought the pink princess plate over to the table and set it in front of her, she grinned. He had made her chicken nuggets, carrots with ranch dressing on the side, and applesauce. Three of her favorite foods. He set a sippy cup in front of her filled with a chocolate nutritional shake that he told her he would give her every day at lunchtime. He said it would give her extra vitamins.

"After lunch, I need to run to my office to grab some paperwork. Do you need anything while I'm out or need to go anywhere?" he asked.

He had made himself a sandwich for his lunch and sat down next to her to eat.

"No, I'm good."

After lunch wrapped up, Sean left the house and told her he would be back within an hour and to make herself at home. He was always telling her that. It was such an odd yet comforting feeling, the thought of making herself at home in Sean's house.

Gabby went back to the nursery and decided to cuddle up with Patches and read some picture books. She found several books that looked entertaining and pulled her stuffed friend to her chest as she began flipping through the pages.

For some reason, while she read, thoughts of having to leave Sean's house crept into her mind, and the thought made her feel as though she couldn't breathe.

Trying to pay attention to her books but failing miserably, Gabby sat up in the twin-sized bed and tried to swallow, but it felt as though her throat had sand in it. Getting up from the bed, she walked downstairs slowly, holding the railing with each step. She needed something cold to drink, and then she would probably feel better. At least, she hoped.

Finding her sippy cup in the dishwasher, Gabby rinsed it out and filled it with cold water, quickly securing the lid and drinking down the liquid. It felt like heaven on her throat. Looking around the kitchen, she decided she could clean up a little for Sean. Not that it was messy, but she knew how to make things shine and hoped it would please him and, if anything, would make her feel like she was paying him back just a little for letting her stay at his house.

Grabbing a towel from one of the drawers, Gabby looked under the sink for cleaners and found a clear spray bottle that was hand-labeled as countertop cleaner. She grabbed the cleaner, began spraying down the counters, and then immediately started using the cloth to wipe the spray away. She made sure to rub in circular motions to help eliminate any streaks off the shiny granite.

When she finished the countertops, she stood back, smiling at how clean and shiny they looked. Taking the towel to the sink, she began to rinse the cloth with water, noticing that the dark blue color was fading and becoming a light color. Her eyes widened as she held the towel up to her nose and smelled bleach.

Oh shit. He's going to be so mad at me for ruining his nice kitchen towel. Shit, Gabby. You are so stupid.

Her hands began to tremble, and she dropped the cloth into the sink. She ruined something of his, and he was going to be so mad! What would he do? Scream at her? Hit her? Gabby's breathing became shallow, and she started seeing spots in her vision, and she knew a panic attack was coming.

She knew the first thing she needed to do was sit down somewhere safe so she could avoid collapsing. Sinking onto the cold tile floor in the kitchen with her back resting against the cabinet, Gabby brought her knees to her chest and tried to take deep breaths. She knew it would get worse before it got better, so she just needed to get through it, but she wished she had Patches to hold in her arms. It seemed like her panic attacks weren't nearly as bad when she held him.

It didn't take long before her breath was sawing in and out of her lungs, and she had tears streaming down her face. Her heart was racing against her chest, and her skin felt clammy. For some reason, she would always sweat profusely during an attack.

It's going to be okay, Gabby. You are safe and alive. Just breathe. No one is going to hurt you anymore.

She repeated the words in her head as she always did when she was trying to get through her panic. Resting her face against her knees, Gabby closed her eyes and counted, trying anything she could to center herself.

"Gabby? Gabby! Honey, are you okay?"

She let out a cry as his words cut through the air, startling her. She heard him moving closer causing her to stiffen up instinctively.

"No, don't hurt me!"

The movement in the room stopped immediately.

"Baby girl, I would never hurt you. It's Sean. You're safe. Are you having a panic attack, baby?"

She nodded without looking up, letting out a soft cry.

She heard him moving again, but slower this time. Even though her eyes were closed, she sensed that he knelt in front of her.

"Can I touch you, baby girl? I'll hold you."

Gabby shook her head and put her hands out in front of her to keep him away.

"Okay, baby. I'm not going to touch you. I'm not leaving you, though. I'm just going to sit right here next to you."

Keeping her head on her knees, Gabby opened her eyes and watched him move out of the corner of her eye as he sat down on the floor next to her and stretched his long legs out in front of him. She felt her breathing slow down just slightly, knowing he was there next to her, yet he was respecting her boundaries of not wanting to be touched at that moment. Maybe he wasn't a monster. Perhaps he was just a sweet Daddy.