37. August 13th

37

August 13th

I t's nearing midnight by the time we finally make it into town.

Right on cue, Grayson's phone rings. He answers it, and I can just make out Axel's voice but not the words he's saying.

"Yes, I know. We'll be home soon." Grayson casts a glance my way. "It might just be okay."

I don't pay any more attention to him because a car I recognize passes us and turns left ahead. It's the car from the space center and it's going in the direction of Julia's house.

"I need to use the bathroom," I blurt out, cutting off whatever Grayson was saying into the phone.

"We're almost home," Grayson declares firmly, not slowing down.

I point to a gas station. "Now." I start wiggling in my seat.

This might be my only chance to get answers for myself. A plan forms.

We pull up to the side of the gas station. I go to get out of the car, but Grayson follows me.

I watch him carefully as he pockets his keys. Before I can second guess myself, I launch myself at him. Wrapping my arms and legs around him. He catches me with a startled grunt.

"What—"

I cut him off with my lips. I try to put as much passion and emotion as I possibly can into the kiss. I want him to know that this isn't goodbye, that I care about him.

That I love him.

The thought startles me, but I don't stop.

I realize in this moment that I love all of the O'Brien brothers. I am in love with them all. This time, I accept the guilt that floods me, and for some reason, it doesn't affect me as much as it usually does.

Grayson carries me to the hood of his car and my ass rests on it as we explore each other. One of my hands goes to the back of his head, the other traces lines up and down his chest and abdomen before slowly moving further south.

I gently grip his bulge through his jeans and he grunts, pulling his lips from mine. He moves until they find the column of my neck and he peppers kisses up and down there.

"You-" kiss "–are–" kiss "–beautiful." Kiss.

His hands are everywhere. They light me on fire. For a moment I forget what I am doing, but a throat clearing reminds me.

I make an overdramatic screech to mask the noise of his keys going into my pocket.

"Go home!" an older woman barks at us as she gets into her car and drives away.

Grayson offers a sheepish look. "Go on then."

He helps me off the car and pushes me towards the bathroom. It is a one stall, and I can hear as he takes up post outside of it.

I don't hesitate. There is a window in this cramped space, it will be a tight fit, but as quietly as possible, I open it. Years of going out through windows onto the roof offers me support now as I lift up and through it.

Auggie's hoodie catches and I make the regretful decision to leave it behind to not attract attention. I land gracefully on the other side, but my white shirt shines like a beacon in the darkness.

I creep around the corner, my heart pounding in my chest.

I can see Grayson leaning against the door, tapping anxiously on his jeans. When he turns around to the bathroom to knock, I leap out of my hiding space. Unlocking the car and jumping inside.

"Sunday, no!"

I'm sorry Grayson.

My heart is pounding in my chest. I have to hold back tears. He doesn't deserve me twisting his emotions. Using him like I did. But I need to get these answers, I need to see for myself what's going on. What else are they hiding from me?

Because even though what they have told me feels like it is a lot, I instinctually know there is more.

I don't stop as I reverse out of the lot and speed off to Julia's. It's time to get some answers.

I need to see Julia, she is my friend. I can trust her.

And even more so? There is something intrinsically tugging me towards her. As if these actions aren't my own but a compulsion I cannot deny.

I can see Grayson sprinting after me, but then he comes to a sudden stop.

I will never get the look of his face out of my mind.

The betrayal, anger, confusion.

But most of all, the terror.

I blink back tears as I race down the road in Grayson's stolen car.