33. July 19th

33

July 19th

" H ave you opened your gift from your brother yet?" Darius's question catches me off guard.

"No." I expel the word as I step inside the house. I shut the door quickly behind us. A creepy feeling has taken hold since we left the restaurant. I can't shake that something bad is going to happen.

It makes no sense. Grayson woke up. Everything is right in the world. The three brothers are all back under one roof. It wasn't only Grayson I hadn't seen for two weeks, it was Axel too. He kept his word, never leaving his brother's side.

"I think you should." Darius leads us to my room, he doesn't stop once inside and makes his way to the box that is in a corner of the room, the letter is inside. He leans down and hands it to me.

I look down at the envelope and up at Darius. I blink a few times.

Once I open this, there will be nothing left. It was hard enough with Tripp, to know that reading his letter was the last time I would ever have anything new from him. His life ended at the last word written out on that paper.

How will it feel without Auggie? We spent eighteen years together. He was the best brother I could ever have asked for. He didn't deserve any of this to happen. He was just trying to fix a broken world. He was just a kid.

A teardrop falls onto the envelope. I use the back of my arm to wipe my face. I look up to see Darius now sitting on my bed, his arms open for me.

I don't think. I dive into the comfort he offers. He cradles me, sweeping lines in comforting strokes up and down my back.

"I'm sorry, I thought you would be ready," he murmurs the words into my hair as he peppers kisses there. He moves his lips until he places a chaste kiss onto my cheek.

"That's the thing, I think I am. How am I already ready? He's been gone less than two months. Why does it feel like it's been years?"

Darius stills underneath me. Something I said has caught him off guard, but then he continues the path of kisses.

"I'm sweaty and gross and I should really not be on your lap."

"You're fine, I smell nothing." He buries his nose into my ear and inhales. It tickles and I attempt to wriggle away.

"Oh, hold still." He wraps his arms around me keeping me in place.

One hand still holds the envelope, but I free the other to trace a corded muscular arm. "You don't have any tattoos?"

"I have two," Darius advises.

I twist until I can look him in the eyes. "Where? I haven't seen any."

Uncertainty washes across his face before he lets out an exasperated sigh. "I know you won't let it go."

He separates us enough so that he can lift up his shirt a bit. Before I am too distracted by his toned abdomen, my attention is stolen by his tattoos.

Over his heart is an array of blue wildflowers. Above it is the month and day of Tripp and Axel's birthday.

My fingers go up to trace it.

A noise escapes his lips as if he were going to moan but bit it back at the last moment.

I haven't seen a lot of tattoos, besides the O'Briens', but I can tell it's fresh.

"When did you get this?" I whisper.

"The morning of the memorial."

Confusion sweeps through me. Wildflowers. Is it because of the tattoo he calls me that? He certainly didn't know me the day of the memorial. It was the first time I had a real conversation with any of the brothers, minus Tripp.

He reaches out, grabbing my hand, pulling it from his skin, before yanking his shirt back down. "You ready?"

The envelope is slightly crushed now and I frown at the sight. But I find that I am ready.

I am calm.

I open it.