12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

Then

T he sun was shining bright as I looked down from the window in my chambers, seeing all of the carriages pulling forward with people streaming out of them—members of royalty with their many entourages.

I didn’t want this. I knew that I was going to have to marry someone soon as my father needed to secure an alliance with a larger kingdom that had more resources than we did. While we were thriving on our own, we were small, and my father feared that the magic born would retaliate and there would be a war.

I didn’t realize that I was fiddling with my hands until my mother came over and placed her hand atop mine.

“Darling, let’s make haste.”

She was in the most elaborate dress that I had ever seen her wear, adorned with an outrageous amount of jewels. I suppose they already had someone in mind for me to marry if they were insisting on wearing such outlandish attire.

The dress I wore had so many layers of petticoats that I wasn’t sure how I was going to sit in it. They even brought out my tiara and placed it upon my head, securing my hair around it in complex braids.

“Mother…” I didn’t know how to tell her that I didn’t want to go. This entire night had me on edge. I had been working with Circe for years to control my magic, but I had already lost control multiple times with Circe whenever I thought about this night. I couldn’t do it. “Just tell them I am ill and choose a suitor for me. We all know that it doesn’t matter if I approve of the man or not.”

Her brows knit together as she responded, “Where is all this coming from? I thought you would be excited to be around girls your age and dance the night away. You love to dance.”

I squeezed my hands together behind my back, not wanting her to see just how much this was affecting me. Never wanting to disappoint her, always wanting to be the perfect daughter, but I was far from it. If they knew who I truly was they would hang me.

That thought wasn’t helping my nerves.

Just then, someone interrupted our conversation and said, “Your highness, you look stunning. I apologize for my tardiness on such an important occasion.”

My mother turned around to find Circe curtseying. Mother sighed.

“Talk some sense into the girl. We need to leave now before the guests start speculating on our absence.”

“Of course, your majesty.”

The moment Mother walked out of the room, I grasped Circe’s hands and begged, trying to hold back the tears. “I can’t do this Circe. Too many things could go wrong. I don’t want to marry. I don’t want to be queen. I don’t want any of it!”

She placed her hands on my shoulders.

“You will get through this. You do not have a choice in the matter, but I will be with you always Callie. Remember what I taught you? Deep breath in. One. Two. Three. Deep breath out. One. Two. Three.”

I followed her instructions, her voice soothing me, helping me to count and when I opened my eyes again I felt a calm wash over me. I was always shocked at how well that worked.

“I can do this,” I said, a little more confident, but not by much.

“You can do this,” she said sternly but lovingly.

We left to meet Mother and Annabelle in front of the ballroom doors. Mother held up her hand to the guards to give us a moment.

She turned to me and asked, “Are you ready?”

I took a breath and looked toward Circe, who gave me a curt nod. I looked back at my mother.

“I will make you proud.”

She cupped my cheek and then spoke to a guard, “Open the doors.”

They made their entrance, and then it was my turn. I took one last breath before stepping into the expansive ballroom. There were columns spread throughout the sides and in between the columns were windows. In the daylight, you could easily see for miles in every direction, a view we were quite proud of.

Rows of tables were set on one side of the room adorned with our finest tableware fit for any king to use. Only the best for my soon-to-be husband. Whomever he may be.

I stood at the top of the staircase, with my spine straight and my chin lifted. I would play my part and play it well…for my kingdom. I slowly descended, crossing my fingers that I wouldn’t fall on my face in front of everyone. The thought almost sent me into a full-blown panic. No sooner had panic begun to set in, Father was at my side, offering his arm for support.

He leaned over to whisper, “My daughter… You…”

Words seemed to escape him. He just smiled and kissed my forehead gently as we reached the table.

I exchanged pleasantries with everyone that my father introduced me to, and all of the names were immediately forgotten the moment they left my lips. All of these people supported my father’s war on magic, and I was disgusted that they could be filled with so much hate. If only they knew who it was they were really speaking to, I was sure their smiling faces would be replaced with a different kind of emotion.

I almost smiled at the thought.

I focused back when we made our way to our seats at the head of the table, and everyone sat down to listen to a lengthy speech by my father, thanking everyone for being there. Once the formalities were complete, the servants began to bring out the feast. The smell had me salivating: smoked chicken, geese, mutton, pork and beef. Sturgeon and whale, the most expensive seafood, were placed on several tables. And even more exotic were the peacocks that were served last, along with goblets of ale, apple wine, and water. No expense was spared.

There was nothing on the table that didn’t smell divine, but I needed to remember my manners. I made idle conversation with Belle when I had the weird feeling that someone was looking at me, but when I looked around I couldn’t see anyone who was. I tried my best to eat and not look around, but it was hard not to.

Dinner finished, and the dance began. Mother was right, dancing was one of my favorite parts of my grueling school schedule. It didn’t matter, as long as I was on the dance floor. My dance card was full of the eligible princes, and I could see them all staring at me, as though I was a prize to be won. That if they put on their brightest smiles and had dashing good looks, then I would choose them. As if I had any say in whom I would marry. I knew how this game was played, though I thought I would be spared from this fate. That I could find someone that I cared for and who loved me in return. The kind of love that my parents had, even if it started out as an arranged marriage.

I looked over at Annabelle, who was with her entourage of girls hoping to get into her good graces. I worried that soon it would be her turn. Did she want to be married off like I was about to be?

She should have been the eldest sister; she was kind to all, proper, never raised her voice… Everything I wasn’t. She was so intelligent, and I would often find her in the library reading rather than getting enough sleep. I would stay up with her just to keep her company, but oftentimes she would read things that made absolutely no sense to me.

I looked over to my right and found a group of men looking me over, their eyes undressing me as they scanned my body up and down. Not even hiding the fact that if I allowed them, they would take me right then and there.

I wasn’t naive enough to not recognize that I was a rare beauty: smooth, russet skin, and dark brown wavy hair that flowed down to just above the middle of my back. Large, dark, brown doe eyes that knew nothing of the truths of the world. Innocent. Allowed others to control her. Even though I would be the next queen, I still would hold no real power. My husband would.

I didn’t want this life for her. I didn’t wish this life on anyone.

I walked out of their line of vision and spotted Circe speaking in low tones to a few servants that I had never seen before.

I quickened my pace to her when I overheard someone say, “King Jean just executed a teenage witch who, rumor has it, was performing her witchcraft deep in the woods. Then not long after, the baker's daughter fell ill and died!”

“Good. Let her perish. She got exactly what she deserved. I wish I could have been there to see her burn.”

My skin heated with their words. They were laughing over the tragedy. Didn’t see the girl as a human but a monster. I knew who they were talking about; Circe had told me that the girl would go into the woods to get away from her abusive family every night and was caught dancing around a fire.

She wasn’t even magic born. Someone had accused her, and she was burned the next day. I almost cursed them for saying such inconsiderate and hateful words. But, I looked over at my parents who were laughing with more of their supporters, and at that moment, I hated them. Hated what they stood for. Hated them for unknowingly hating me. The one thing they did right was hiring Circe to care for me. She was the only one who knew the real me and didn’t fear it.

I straightened and was about to join in on their conversation until my father walked out of the ballroom with Lord Padden. I remembered where I was and the shame it would bring upon my family. Not only that, but it would lead to unnecessary questions.

I remembered what Circe asked of me a month ago about trying to spy on my father and his private conversations. I loathed it, but we needed to know which group of people would be targeted next.

I had successfully infiltrated a few meetings using the old tunnels that I discovered while playing as a child and that hadn’t been used in years. I kept them a secret until I told Circe, thinking that she could use them to sneak out of the castle. And I was right.

This knowledge allowed us to save over twenty magic borns over the last few weeks. Circe had decided that once I was old enough, I would be the one to sneak through the inner walls of the castle and spy on my father because I wouldn’t be punished if I were caught. At least, not as harshly as someone else. I had already been lying to my family ever since I found out about my powers, and if this lie aided in saving lives, then it was worth the risk.

I had turned my back on the group upon my father’s arrival, grabbed a glass from a passing servant, and followed them out of the ballroom. Based on their direction, I knew exactly where they were heading. I hurried through the tunnels and got into position just as my father and his council of advisers situated themselves in one of the secret rooms in the castle.

“I heard from my spy that they are planning a rebellion. And soon,” Lord Padden said.

A rebellion? Circe had told me no such thing. The lord had to be spewing lies or else I would have known. Circe would have told me.

“Have you heard back from King Ewan? How does he feel about your proposal?”

“He has agreed to marry his son to Calathea.”

Father nodded in response. “The alliance with Ewan is crucial. With his help, we will have the numbers and the resources to eradicate the covens from existence once and for all.” Eradicate? My breathing had become labored, and the walls suddenly felt too close to me, but I needed to focus.

“They say his son is,” Lord Padden’s voice lingered. “A bit wild.”

“A challenge for Calathea, perhaps, but she will adapt,” Father added. “She’s come of age, and if we can make her marriage beneficial and strengthen her reign, she will understand.”

I pushed past the pain building in my chest as I heard Lord Padden ask, “It is not a secret that your daughter has spoken against you for the executions. Will she fall into line?”

I gritted my teeth at their blatant disrespect toward me and expected him to be put in his place, but Father simply said, “Rumors. My house is in order, and my daughter will do her duty.”I couldn’t hear anymore and rushed as silently as I could out of the walls, hurrying to the wooden door of their room to wait impatiently for them to finish deciding my future.

The moment they opened the door, I demanded, “Father, I must speak with you.”

Father’s spine had straightened, and he excused his council with a shallow nod, escorting me into the room.

“Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me you’re not actually considering marrying me off for politics and warfare?”

Father looked at me as if I had grown two heads; this was not what he expected me to say. “How did you—”

“Tell me it isn’t true! Please tell me you wouldn’t do that to me, knowing how I feel about your witch hunt!”

“Enough!” He roared, voice so loud that I recoiled away from him for the first time in my life. “You will marry him, bed him, and give him children—as is your duty as a princess. You will secure your role in his kingdom to save ours.”

“There is nothing to save if you would stop killing innocent people!”

One moment, I was standing in front of him, and the next I was on the floor, my face stinging from where his hand had struck me. I saw the look of regret on my father's face, but he simply straightened his back and said in a slightly calmer tone, “You will understand when you get older. I am only doing my job as king of this country and as your father. This war isn’t going to end, it’s only going to get worse. Can’t you see that, child? If you are weak, if you are,” he paused, and swallowed, desperation clinging to his voice, “too soft, you will destroy everything.”

I said not another word to him as I took a moment to collect myself and strode from the room. It was well past sundown when I stormed into the stables and found Alexei putting away the reins of one of the horses. I had often sought him out when I needed small reprieves from everyone, even Circe, when my heightened emotions became too much.

All we did was kiss. I knew that I could never sleep with him, never risk someone finding out I had soiled myself. The price of my virginity, a silly little thing that made me soft, as my father said, would be my crown. He wanted me pure? I wouldn’t give him that. I wouldn’t marry a prince who wished to kill more of the people that I had vowed to help Circe save.

My people.

He turned around, too stunned to speak as I pushed him hard against the wooden wall, hard enough to make the walls rattle. He made a small noise at the movement, and something ignited within me: a feeling of heat pooling near a part of myself that I had denied. A feeling that had me laying in bed wide awake because there was an ache within me that wouldn’t go away.

I wasn’t ignorant about sex, but I had been raised to believe that you only had such relations when you were married and only to have children. It was not something to be enjoyed.

I didn’t know what I was doing but allowed my body to take over. I ran my hands through his hair and watched as his mouth fell open.

“Your majesty—” I brought my lips to his as I always had, and I hesitantly rifled with the shirt tucked into his trousers, pulling at it haphazardly.

He smiled against my mouth and aided me in freeing his tucked shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the ground, never taking his eyes off mine.

I looked around him and found a back room that housed the hay. I pushed on his chest until we were inside and kicked the door closed. His chest was heaving as he realized exactly what I wanted from him when I started to pull at the strings of my corset, attempting to get out of the contraption that is women’s fashion. It always felt like a walking prison. I despised it.

I saw him coming over to help me, but I needed him and I couldn’t wait another moment. I walked to the table with different shaped tools laid upon it, and used one to cut the laces of my gown, nearly cutting my skin in an attempt to pry the abominable attire off.

I stood completely nude in front of him and had never felt more free; the way Alexei stared at me with his lips parted, eyes hungry, made me want to convulse right there.

“Take them off,” I commanded.

He nodded and nearly tripped over his feet, ripping his trousers off of him. When his appendage sprang free, I knew exactly what would help that ache inside of me.

But I felt a wave of anxiety. I was never taught how to be intimate with a male, and while I knew what body parts went where I was completely out of my element, and I hated it.

He could tell that something was a little off and hesitantly ran his hands up my body.

“You are so beautiful, your majesty.” Sweet words that I was sure would make anyone swoon, but I didn’t need him to be sweet. I didn’t want him to shower me with kisses.

I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted him to make me scream and make me feel something other than pity and self-loathing. I wanted him to ruin me and see the look on my father’s face when he learned of my indiscretions. I wanted to hurt him just as badly as he had hurt me.

“Stop talking.” I swallowed as I grabbed him and copied what I had just seen him do to himself which seemed to make his once smaller cock grow at least a few inches. And judging by his shudder, he seemed to enjoy me touching him like this.

Then it all happened so quickly. He lifted me onto a table and rammed into me without warning. The pain was blinding and my head felt dizzy. Tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t know it was supposed to be painful—why didn’t they warn girls about that part?

Instinctively, when the pain became overwhelming, I bit into his shoulder, which seemed to get a reaction out of him because he pounded even harder into me. The pain subsided and was soon replaced with an intense feeling that had my inner walls gripping him, begging his cock to stay inside of me. Our moans filled the room. He tried to stare into my eyes, but I didn’t want that so I pressed his head down, forcing him to suck on a nipple. That seemed to be my undoing because I screamed at an intense rush running through me—legs shaking as I felt something wet escape me.

My cheeks reddened as I thought about what that could have been, when I felt him jerk and then something filling me inside. He stilled, our breathing intermixed.

He kissed my shoulder before he pulled his head back. “You are incredible.”

I scrunched my nose, not knowing how to respond. Shocked that I had actually gone through with something that I had wanted for a change. I knew I had ruined myself and I couldn’t have been happier. And I wanted to do it again.

I pushed him off of me, grabbed his dark cloak from the floor, and wrapped it around my shoulders in an attempt to be inconspicuous.

As I walked out of the room, I said, “Same time tomorrow.”

I smiled to myself as I walked back to the castle.