71. His Resolve

ALEJANDRO

I downed the liquid, relishing the way it burned my throat before I tossed the glass onto the ground, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces before gripping the balcony rail as I glared out into the darkness. Why couldn"t I fucking control myself? I was fucking losing my shit and she stood there unbothered. Fuck, I was relying on her running away from me. Not coming to my fucking engagement looking like a fucking goddess. The way she stood there... poised, in control and that goddess damned aura of hers. The urge to mark and mate with her right now was taking over. I needed her gone… How do I get her to leave?

"Alejandro." Rafael"s voice came.

Well fuck, can no one leave me the fuck alone? Clearly not. He came over and rested on the rail next to me. I clenched my jaw, glaring out ahead.

"You ok? You seem… restless." He said, his fucking concern clear in his voice.

I scoffed.

"I"m not a fucking kid Raf, and more than that, don't try to act like you fucking care."

"I do care. It doesn"t matter that you're thirty-four, you're still my kid brother. I"m proud of you, that you're ready to settle down… But I don't know, you don't seem to be happy…" His tone was as gentle as ever.

I hated it, hated that shitty concern. It reminded me of our fucking childhood when he told me it's all going to be fucking ok… He was the only fucking one who's seen me at my fucking weakest and most vulnerable…

"I"m fucking fine."

"I want to see you happy brother, but with someone you want to. Don't force yourself if you don't want to." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"A little fucking late for that. My decision"s made."

"You can back out if you want…"

"Just stay the fuck out of my business." I said, now moving away from the wall as I lit another cigarette.

"Thank you for having Raihana and Rayhan… Raihana doesn"t even want to go home."

"Well, she's fucking delusional then, I almost killed Rayhan a few times. You might want to keep them the fuck away from me."

"Only Rayhan?" Rafael said, clearly fucking unphased.

"What the fuck does that mean?" I said coldly.

"You had three young girls in this house. Only Rayhan got injured, not bad at all. Considering he's an Alpha who can defend himself. Don't paint yourself worse than you are, Al."

"You're fucking stupid too."

"Come for a visit Alejandro, you and Jasmin. I think it would be nice." He said.

His irritating tone grating at my fucking nerves.

"You should ask your mate first before inviting a monster home." I said, shoving past him.

"Al…"

"Excuse me, my King, it's time for the ceremony." Kennan, one of the council members said.

"Sure, let's get this shit over and done with." I replied coldly, despite the fucking pain that was squeezing at my chest.

We walked back inside and I saw Jasmin was already standing on the dais talking to one of the council members. Allen, he was one of the three top advisors alongside Kennan and then of course we had that dickhead Elijah. The youngest one of the fucking trio. I did put the fuckers in that position, but that doesn't mean I like them.

"Alpha." Jasmin said, flashing me a smile.

She looked ok I guess in her gold dress, but she was completely unappealing to me. This was what I was settling for. I"m meant to be the fucking King and I couldn"t even have what I wanted. Thanks to my own fucking insecurities and fear that I'll hurt her…

As the room went silent and Allen began on his complimentary shit, my mind was fucking fogging up. I could still back out… But would I hurt Kiara? I mean, I can't even think I'd hurt her. No. I could. Just how I lost it with Dad and killed my Mom, who got caught up in the crossfire… What if I did the same to Kiara? Would she even want me? Probably not, apart from being good at fucking her, I don't think there's anything else she'd find fucking appealing and I don't really blame her… I mean, I"m a fucking mess who has fucking issues.

"… truly an honour. Today our King will take his chosen mate, a Queen, to reign over us. For the future of his legacy and one of our kind. Since the Lycan King, Alejandro Rossi, took his place, abuse against packs by Alphas has become almost non-existent. The monsters that attack our packs and pups are being taken care of. Our King has ruled and formed a union of understanding within the entire kingdom. My King, Alpha Alejandro, are you ready to make Jasmin Bloom, daughter of Alpha Bill of The Quick Fang Pack, your Queen and Luna?"

I clenched my jaw, as Jasmin gave me a smile. My heart raced as I looked out at the crowds. My eyes were searching for just one… She stood out, and even if she wasn't in black, I would have found her. She stood there like a fucking Queen, her confidence and aura spread around her and the urge to go to her and fucking ask her to forgive me threatened to overcome me. Her eyes were cast down, but I wished I could look into those orbs of hers.

This wouldn't break her, would it? I mean, I hurt her enough already. She was strong, right? Well, if she was, then why couldn"t I keep her? Look up Amore Mio, tell me you don't care… Show me you"re ok. I looked at her but she was composed. The only thing that showed her emotions was the way her breasts rose and fell.

I felt fucking weak, out of control and fucking lost, she seemed to be the only light…

What do I do? After Kiara, there was no woman I wanted physically and even marking someone else… the thought made my fucking stomach churn. Fuck. My heart was hammering in my chest, ringing loudly in my ear, and I suddenly felt this place was too fucking tight.

"Alpha." Jasmin said, now placing her hand on my arm. "Mark me."

Everyone clapped.

‘Please don't.' Darien's voice came through the link. ‘You need her.'

I shut him out as I turned towards Jasmin. Mark her and get over it. I took a deep breath and bent down slightly. My eyes flickered red, the beast within me rising in anger.

Kiara.

Fuck, stop coming into my mind! I looked at the neck before me, it wasn't Kiara… I didn't want this… Fuck I couldn"t… I just couldn"t.

"I can't." I said hoarsely, stepping back.

A ripple of gasps flitted through them as some began to whisper and others exchanged looks.

I couldn"t, I just couldn"t… My heart was racing and for a moment I felt like I was caught in the headlights. For the first time, I didn't like the fact that all eyes were on me.

"Why, my King?" Allen asked, alarmed. Jasmin covered her mouth, her eyes filled with tears.

"I… She's not my mate." I muttered.

A louder gasp and a buzz of murmurs enveloped me as I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair.

What the fuck have I just done.