Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

A aron sat quietly on a chair at the edge of the dance floor, a flute of sparkling wine in hand.

"Looks like I'm going to have to pay up," a familiar voice said.

He looked up to see Henry standing there.

His friend plopped down into the seat beside him and waved a lazy index finger in the direction of the dancers. "I should have had a rule that you cannot fix her up with one of your friends. That seems awfully unfair, but since I did not bring it up before, I suppose I shouldn't bring it up now," he said.

Aaron grunted, having already forgotten about the wager.

He saw Judith gliding across the dance floor on the arm of Graham and felt nothing but bitterness clawing up his throat. Yes, he would win his wager. If the way Graham looked at her now was anything to go by, there would most certainly be an official courtship, and they might even be married by the end of the season.

He had watched Graham carefully as he danced with her. Not because he had worried that his friend would be anything but an upstanding gentleman to her, but because he had hoped against hope that he would not care for her. He had hoped that Judith would make a mistake, bungle his name, present herself awkwardly, or perhaps even step on his toes. But he had taught her well.

She was charm and grace personified. Indeed, she was a diamond of the first water. None of the other women at the dance floor compared to her in any way. This was his doing—he knew this.

She had turned from the awkward young woman who was trapped in a state of limbo of her own making into what could be described as a swan. Other gentlemen watched her also, and not with the curious smirk they had looked at her with at the park.

They looked at her in a pleased kind of way—the way a man looked at a woman he admired.

When Judith had switched partners, Graham had continued to look at her. He carried a silly smile on his lips, which only made it clearer that Aaron had been right. Graham was smitten with Judith, and soon she would be smitten with him.

"What's wrong with you?" Henry scoffed, ripping him out of his contemplation. "You do not look happy at the prospect of winning your wager. What happened? Are you over her? Have you fallen for your charge?"

The mocking tone in his friend's voice told him that Henry did not really believe this. No wonder, everybody knew that Aaron had little to no desire to get married.

"Nothing is wrong, I am simply tired, that is all."

"Ah well, if that is all, I will leave you to it. I must find Lady Annabella—she has promised me the quadrille, and I cannot pass that up. She is truly one of the fairest ladies in the land. And not difficult to charm either, I hear."

Henry winked at Aaron and then departed, leaving him alone, though only for a minute, for the dance ended.

Graham and Judith spoke briefly, their smiles letting everyone know that they cared for one another. Or perhaps just Aaron, for nobody else appeared interested in them.

He got up and straightened his waistcoat, then ran a hand through his hair. As he approached her, he glanced into the mirror and adjusted his cravat. He wanted to look handsome—for her. Although that should not matter right now.

"Aaron," she said as she caught up to him, her eyes bright and a soft smile on her lips. "Graham is a true gentleman," she gushed. "He asked to dance with me again. Should I? People might think there is something between us."

Aaron's heart sank, the bitterness from earlier now twisting painfully in his throat.

He forced a smile, trying to mask the storm inside him. "You need to do what is right for you, Judith," he replied, his voice strained.

Judith tilted her head, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, Aaron?"

Aaron felt a storm of emotions brewing within him, each one tearing at his resolve. He wanted to see Judith happy, but the thought of her with Graham was unbearable.

He struggled to find the right words, his hands clenching into fists as he fought the urge to confess his love. His mind raced, weighing the consequences of his feelings and the possible repercussions for her.

"Judith, come to the library with me," he finally said.

He had been to the Lord Chancellor's house before and knew where the library was, although what he was going to say once they got there was anyone's guess. Aaron certainly did not know. It was as if his mind had gone to sleep and his heart and secret desires had taken over.

"Aaron?" Judith pressed, her tone giving away her confusion. "What is wrong?"

They walked down the hall, past an array of other guests, though none paid them any mind. The library, which was located at the far end of the hall, was a secluded place where they could talk privately without fear of being overheard or interrupted.

They walked inside, and Aaron blinked, for he forgot how grand the library was. Mahogany shelves stretched up to the ceiling, and stools were placed at the front of each row. A fire was crackling in the grate, and the sweet scent of cedar filled the air, while the smell of old books added to the pleasant atmosphere.

Despite the setting, Aaron was tormented.

"Aaron, why are you acting so strange?" Judith asked, her voice soft yet insistent.

He avoided her eyes, his heart pounding. Every instinct screamed at him to hold back, to maintain the carefully constructed fa?ade he had built around his feelings. But the storm within him was relentless, and he could no longer keep it contained.

He took a step closer to her, his breath hitching in his throat.

"You want to know what the problem is?" he whispered as he cupped her face in his hands. "This is the problem."

Before he could second-guess himself, he closed the distance between them and kissed her.

The moment their lips met, everything else faded away. The world outside ceased to exist. The chatter that had drifted into the room disappeared. There was only Judith, and the overwhelming rush of emotions flooding through him.

The kiss was gentle at first, tentative, as if he feared she might pull away. But when she didn't, when she responded with equal passion, something within him broke free. He poured all his unspoken feelings into the kiss, his thumbs caressing her cheeks, his fingers trembling against her skin.

Despite having kissed many ladies before, this was different. This was unlike anything he had ever felt. It was as if every other kiss had been a mere shadow, a pale imitation of this intense, thrilling connection. His heart soared, every nerve ending alive with sensation. He felt as though he were falling yet held safely in the warmth of Judith's embrace.

When the kiss finally ended, Aaron drew back, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. His heart hammered in his chest, his mind reeling from the intensity of what had just happened. He stared at Judith, her eyes wide, her lips slightly parted.

The realization of what he had done crashed over him, and guilt twisted in his gut. Suddenly, images of Amelia flashed before his eyes, and he thought back to the box of trinkets under his bed.

Why had he kissed Judith? He was bad for her, bad for any lady. Aaron had sworn to protect her, but here he was, about to ruin what could be the night that changed her life.

"I'm sorry," he stammered, his words raw with emotion. "I shouldn't have done that."

Judith blinked, confusion and hurt flickering across her face. "Why, Aaron? Why shouldn't you have kissed me?"

He looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "Because I can't give you what you want. I can't marry you."

Her confusion deepened, turning into frustration. "Then why did you kiss me?"

Aaron struggled to find the right words, his thoughts a tangled mess. "Because I couldn't stop myself. But marriage… it's something I can't offer. I've never wanted it, and I don't think I ever will. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and I'm not that man."

"Then why… I… Aaron. I… I do not understand you," she stuttered, her tone betraying her frustration.

"I do not understand myself," he replied quietly.

"We must?—"

She stopped before he could figure out what she wanted to say, for they heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Aaron's head snapped up, panic flaring in his chest.

"Someone's coming," he whispered urgently.

Judith's eyes flashed with equal anger and sorrow, but she nodded. Without another word, she turned and hurried out of the library, leaving him standing alone in the flickering firelight.

As the door closed behind her, Aaron knew had crossed a line, and there was no going back. His heart ached with a longing he had never known, and the bitter taste of regret lingered on his lips.