Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

I nside, the noise and warmth of the ballroom enveloped them again, but the comfort it once offered now felt suffocating to Judith. She turned to Aaron, her expression resolute.

"Aaron, I wish to leave," she said, her voice steady but tinged with desperation.

The incident had shaken her to the core, but not just that—she now doubted her judgment. She should not have gone outside with a man she had just met. Why had her curiosity about Aaron's connection to Lady Lundgren been so strong that it had pushed aside all common sense?

Aaron looked at her, concern etched on his features. "But, Judith, you still have other dances promised. Are you sure? Leaving now might cause more rumors, and the people you agreed to dance with will think you are flighty."

Judith shook her head. Her frustration only grew because the reason she was in this situation was because of him. He should understand how she felt.

"I don't care about the other dances. After what happened… that man tried to ruin me in front of the entire ton. And why?"

Aaron gulped, hesitating.

Judith's eyes bored into him, demanding the truth. "It's because of you—we both know it."

Aaron sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. "Yes, Judith. It's true. That man, Thomas Cornell… his sister is Lady Lundgren."

Judith scoffed. "The woman you were betrothed to. I am aware. He told me."

Aaron nodded, a shadow crossing his face. "You do? Pray, what did he say?"

Judith chewed on her bottom lip, her mind racing.

But before she could respond, the door opened, and Thomas appeared again, glaring at them. Tension filled the air, and Aaron's hands balled into fists again as he took a step in front of her, shielding her from view.

Judith's face grew hot, and she looked around to see a great number of people looking their way. Or was that her imagination?She couldn't be certain.

Nobody had actually seen what transpired outside, she'd made sure of that when they entered. Nonetheless, one could never be too careful.

To her relief, Lady Lundgren appeared beside her brother. They whispered urgently to each other before disappearing back into the crowd. Judith saw Aaron exhale, the tension in his body visibly easing, as did her own.

"I should explain," he said curtly as he took her hand.

But the sudden connection—one she had never felt before—sent tingles up her arm. It occurred to her that she'd never held anyone's hand before. Even when she was engaged, she and her ex-fiancé had been cordial at best. She'd walk with her hand on his arm, but they never held hands, not in any intimate fashion. That was reserved for after marriage, he'd told her.

"Judith?" Aaron prompted, startled by her reaction, and quickly let go.

"Yes, yes, let us go," she said hastily.

Judith followed him through the crowded ballroom, feeling the weight of the evening's events pressing down on her. They found a quiet alcove near a large, ornate window, the sounds of the party muffled by heavy drapes. She realized it was the same alcove where they'd exchanged travel stories just a little while ago. But oh, how different it felt to be standing there now.

Aaron turned to her, his expression earnest."I'm so sorry, Judith," he began. "Years ago, Lady Amelia—Lady Lundgren and I were engaged. It went badly, and this is the first time I've seen her since. She resents me to this day, and it seems her brother—whom I cared for in the past—has inherited that from her."

Judith looked down, feeling the sting of embarrassment and uncertainty.

"What happened? How did you come to be outside with him?" Aaron asked gently. "I saw you leave and followed just in case, but I am quite confused as to what happened exactly."

Judith hesitated. She didn't want to reveal how quickly she had followed Thomas outside and listened to his stories.

"We spoke in the banquet room," she said slowly. "He asked me to step outside with him for some fresh air. I agreed. Then he told me he wanted to warn me about you. When I wasn't interested, he said something about me deserving what happened to his sister and tried to ruin me by kissing me. Marianne rushed inside to seek help."

Aaron's face darkened with fury. He huffed and puffed, his anger palpable. "Yes, I saw her just as I came out. Pray, what did he say to you?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"He said you were a terrible man and that I shouldn't associate with you," Judith replied, her voice shaking slightly. "He pretended to care about me, but when I would not do as he said, he tried to kiss me."

Aaron clenched his fists, his rage barely contained. "I can't believe he would do such a thing," he bit out.

"What did you do to Lady Lundgren that made her hate you so much?" Judith asked, regretting her choice of words the moment they'd come out of her mouth. "I mean… What… It is unusual for a woman to…"

Aaron raised a hand to indicate that he understood. "I did do something to her, though I thought it was all behind me now. It seems it is not. But do not fret, I will not let it affect you in any way, that I promise."

He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. "I agreed to an arranged marriage with her even though I didn't love her," he admitted. "I should not have agreed to the arrangement in the first place. When I realized I couldn't marry her, I ended it. She felt humiliated and betrayed, and I can't blame her for that. Although I will say that she did not love me either. She certainly loved the…" He waved a hand as if he had second thoughts about saying what was on his mind.

Judith wanted to know what he'd wished to say but didn't press him.

She looked at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. "But that doesn't justify what her brother did," she stated firmly.

Aaron nodded, his anger giving way to a deep sadness. "I know," he said softly. "Oliver told me she got married, but it seems the marriage is not a happy one. She says my breaking our engagement left her with little options. I… I do feel bad. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be free to make my own choices."

Judith saw in his eyes that he meant it, and it struck her that he was far more empathic than she'd assumed. She considered his reputation as a rake. She'd assumed the end of his engagement had something to do with his love for debauchery, but it seemed this wasn't the case.

She narrowed her eyes. Something about Lady Lundgren's story did not make sense. Even with a broken engagement, she would have been able to secure a good match. She was beautiful, and while a broken engagement could reflect badly, one could still succeed. Judith could have done so herself if she'd wished, but she'd chosen to wait.

There had been offers— good offers—but she'd turned them down in favor of love… with her father's support. So why had Lady Lundgren ended up in a bad marriage?

And Aaron? What were his options? Should he have gone through with the wedding, even though he didn't want it, just because he made a promise?

This gave Judith pause. She had always longed for freedom and the ability to make her own choices. How could she blame Aaron for wanting the same? Still, the thought of Lady Lundgren's misery and her brother's anger troubled her deeply.

"Why did Lady Lundgren find herself in an unfortunate position?" she asked.

Aaron shrugged."Amelia always dreamed of being a duchess. Many young women do. There are not many dukes in Britain, as you know. I suspect another could not be found and she had to settle with someone else. But it couldn't be helped. We would have been unhappy and utterly bored, as we had nothing in common."

He paused and observed her closely. "That's one of the reasons I wanted to help you, Judith. I don't want you to end up in a terrible marriage like my parents did."

Judith's curiosity got the better of her. "Were your parents very unhappy?" she asked.

Aaron nodded, his expression grim. "Not because they hated each other. They were cordial enough. Alas, they had a boring marriage. They had nothing in common and led separate lives under one roof. They were strangers sharing a house, not partners sharing a life. It was suffocating for them, and it would have been suffocating for Amelia and me."

Judith looked at him, her mind filled with questions. "Isn't that what most marriages end up being? Routine?"

At least she had always thought so. Even the best love matches ended up this way, didn't they?

Aaron shook his head. "It shouldn't be. A marriage should be a partnership, about sharing lives, dreams, and goals. My parents' marriage was a cage for both. That's why I chose not to get married. I'd rather embrace life for what it is than be trapped in a marriage of convenience or convention."

Judith dropped her shoulders. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had entertained a fleeting thought—a fantasy, really. But no! She stopped herself.

It doesn't matter what he wants. It matters what I want, and we are here to make sure I do not end up the miserable one.

She pulled her shoulders back, determination setting in. "Very well. I do thank you for telling me."

From within, the sounds of the cotillion rose, and she gasped.

"I am to dance this dance!"

"Well, you better find your partner," he urged with a smile. "I take it you've changed your mind about staying?"

Startled, she paused and then recalled she'd demanded to leave. "I suppose I have. You've made me understand how important all of this is. I will continue the night as planned."

Aaron nodded. "Good. Do not let a man like Thomas Cornell stop you. And do not fret, he will not go near you again. I am here, and I will protect you as you do what needs to be done for you to find happiness. Don't settle for less than you deserve."

Judith looked at him, her heart full of gratitude. "Thank you, Aaron."

With that, she rushed out to meet her dance partner, who had already been on the lookout. They stepped onto the dance floor, and Judith did her very best to be charming and personable, but as the night wore on, she found herself scrutinizing each man more closely, considering not just their titles and fortunes but their personalities and interests.

Some were charming, others less so, but none sparked the connection she now realized she craved. Yet, she was determined not to give up. Aaron's story—and that of Lady Lundgren—had made her understand how important it was to make the right decision not just for now, but for her future.

When the night came to an end and her feet ached from dancing, she and Aaron parted ways, each heading to their respective carriages with a promise to meet one another again in two days, so he could help her practice polite conversation during a dinner setting—something else she'd not done in a long while.

It had been a long night, but Judith had to admit that despite her inner turmoil, being out and about with Aaron had been a change of pace—and one she could get used to. At least for the time being.