8. Cody

cody

. . .

Jesus Murphy. I kicked myself all sorts of ways when Noelle disappeared behind the double doors of Mak's bed den.

Mak was right. I’d messed this up. Messed it up bad.

Noelle had run out of the nest I made for her, but I could still feel her pain as if it were my own through our bond bite.

My bear was going crazy inside me. Thrashing with the need to go to her, comfort her, drag her back to the nest, and do whatever it took to fix her pain.

I didn’t realize I was about to Lumberjack-axe my way through the door she’d put between us until Ash caught me by the shoulder. “Don’t. She’s already upset enough. If you break Mak’s doors to get to her, you’re going to scare her even worse. Also…”

He gripped the wrought-iron handle of the right arched wooden double door and pulled it open, reminding me with the simple action that my bear didn’t need to tear down any doors to get to the mate who hadn’t yet surrendered to staying with us forever.

Mak’s room was the biggest of the three bed dens in the cave home he built from scratch after we agreed to be a maul three years ago. Pure mountain man—rough-hewn stone walls, stalactites hanging from the ceiling like clawed hands, and two shimmering pools to satisfy his water-loving polar bear: one a steaming hot spring and the other fed by an icy waterfall that echoed softly through the space.

He must have left the lights on before he went out last night to make sure everyone had what they needed for denning season. The warm glow of lanterns flickered in the corners, casting shadows that danced like flames across the rugged surfaces.

We found Noelle curled up in a ball on top of the bed, which sat on a raised stone platform with a carved bear-shaped headboard—an intricate piece Mak’s Ayaska maul father had gifted him as a cave-warming present.

She wasn’t crying. But somehow, that was even worse.

Her bond bite hummed with her fear, sharp and unrelenting. And her thoughts were racing so fast, even I couldn’t read them.

My bear clawed at me to fix this, but how could I fix something I didn’t fully understand? She was hurting, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered without looking up from her ball as Ash and I came to stand on either side of the bed. Her voice came out sad and broken. “I can’t trust myself. Can’t trust all these feelings bubbling up inside me. This is why you’re dodging a bullet not taking me on as a mate. I’m so messed up. Not to mention super insecure for, like, legitimate reasons.”

She laughed bitterly, a sound that made my chest ache. “I mean, look at me. I couldn’t even keep my ex from looking for love in other places. I wasn’t enough for him. I wasn’t enough to make him happy or faithful or even… decent. What makes you think I’ll be enough for you?”

Her words landed like blows, not just on me but on our bears. How could she think that? How could she not know how perfect she was for us?

Ash and I climbed into the bed on either side of her. No consultation needed.

I was by far the most touchy-feely one in our maul, but to my surprise, Ash drew her to him first, uncurling her from her pitiful ball and pulling her into his chest.

It was a dangerous move for both of them. He was next, and her incoming wave of estrus would be arriving any moment now, whether she was emotionally ready for it or not.

“I can’t do this,” she murmured into his chest. “I obviously don’t have the emotional stamina to see this through.”

It didn’t matter what she wanted. Soon her bear wouldn’t give her any choice, and I could feel Ash’s bear roaring at him over my wrist mark, urging him to drag her back to the nest before that happened, same as mine.

Still, Ash acted as if we had all the time in the world. He held her close and pressed soft kisses into her temple until I could feel her heartbeat calming through our mate bond.

He was able to do that without even having bitten her yet. My stomach cramped with visions of how secure he’d make her feel after she allowed him to bite her other shoulder. If she’d just let him.

“We know so much about you—” he started to say, a setup I already knew was leading to validating her feelings.

“ Too much ,” she said, interrupting before he could finish.

“Too much,” he agreed, a soft smile in his voice. “Would it help if I told you something about Mak that he’d rather other people didn’t know?”

“No,” she answered immediately. Then, after a beat, “Maybe.”

“Noelle, look at me.”

Ash’s gentle tone turned more insistent as he took her chin, tipping her head up to meet his steady gaze. “Mak left because he likes you too much. His father is a polar bear who lost control of himself and bond bit his mother while she was in estrus. So Mak knows on a wounded genetic level that he wouldn’t be able to control his polar bear in this situation. He left because he was jealous that we’re able to be with you—even for a few days. But he also left because he refused to lose control and hurt you. He couldn’t risk that.”

Noelle stiffened at the reminder that Mak—and all of us—could hurt her so easily if we lost control.

“No, Noelle, I would never.” Ash’s voice softened as he answered the spike of fear he felt me feel radiating from her bond bite. “Cody even asked me privately to stop him if he tried to bite you again, no matter how good you smell.”

He pulled her closer, pressing her nose-first into his chest and inhaling deeply, audibly savoring her scent. “You’re like a star that fell to earth just for us. And I promise none of us will hurt you like he did. Ever. We won’t lie to you. We won’t insult you, cheat on you, or gaslight you into thinking anything is your fault.”

Ash pulled back again, his eyes locking onto hers as he gave her our unwavering truth. “Mak left this den to make sure you stayed safe. And I swear to you, little star, I’d muzzle myself before I ever bit you without your consent. We’ll earn your bond, or we’ll let you walk away. Just let me make you feel good.”

Her human was stunned into silence. Her bond bite let me know that no one—especially someone she’d just met—had ever spoken to her like this before.

But her bear…

Her bear instantly believed every word.

And she let us know with a sudden release of estrus.

Noelle cried out as her scent filled Mak’s room, stronger and headier than before.

Too late. I knew then that we wouldn’t be making it back to the nest.

Her bear clamored through the bite bond to be filled again—desperate, primal, and undeniable.

Ash’s beast surged to the surface, roaring to mount her, to claim her the way I had earlier.

But Ash was better than me. Rolling onto his back, he kept his muscles tense but restrained, his hands resting calmly at his sides. His dark eyes burned as they searched hers, waiting patiently for her to make the next move.

Noelle’s human side hesitated, uncertain, even as her bear practically screamed with need. Her bond bite throbbed with conflicted emotions—desire, fear, and the fragile hope that had started to grow since she’d met us.

Meanwhile, Ash’s and my bear hearts quivered. Every fiber of our beings was attuned to the very real possibility that our mate might reject him.