31. Knox

I could tellLarkin was tense since Jackson said his first word.

She tried to put on a brave face, but I could see it in the slight hunch of her shoulders, like she was attempting to make herself small enough to avoid being hurt. I could see it in the pinch around her eyes, the small crease in her forehead. I could hear it through the emotionless facade of her voice, like if she pretended not to hurt, those conflicting feelings might just go away.

But if I knew one thing, it was that pain didn’t just evaporate over time. It needed an outlet. A release.

Once the children’s slow breathing filled the room, I looked over at her and whispered, “Follow me.”

She nodded, slowly creeping out of bed as I had and then rested Jackson in the crib Ford kept for family visitors. Once he was settled in, I linked my fingers with Larkin’s, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

I wasn’t running away from the messy parts of a relationship. When I was younger, running away had only ever gotten me in trouble. In my job, running away could get me killed. And with Larkin, running away could cost me everything I’ve been wanting for longer than I wanted to admit.

We tiptoed through the house, and I opened the grand sliding door leading to the backyard with the glittering blue pool. She set the baby monitor on one of the pool chairs and then joined me standing beside the water. The night air was warm against my skin as I slid out of my shirt and then began taking off my pants.

“What are you doing?” she asked, gazing around the empty yard, back through the big sliding doors to the dimly lit living room.

I quirked an eyebrow at her. “Swimming with you. Naked if you want.” I winked.

“What if someone sees you?” she asked.

“Your monitor has a motion detector, so it’ll warn us if the kids stir, and Ford knows not to come out here.”

“How?” she asked, but my smile told her all she needed to know. She smiled, but then her expression sobered. “But I... I...” She glanced at the pool with worry filling her eyes, illuminated in streaks of blue light.

I didn’t want her to be upset. “You know how to swim, right?” I asked. We hadn’t covered that yet—maybe it had been wrong of me to assume.

“It’s not that,” she said. “I—” She looked down, fiddled with her fingers.

“What is it?” I asked, stepping closer in nothing but my boxer shorts. I ran my hands over her arms, seeing goosebumps there. “He keeps the pool heated. It won’t be cold.”

She let out a sigh. “I’m not twenty anymore.”

My eyebrows drew together. “That’s one of the things I like about you.”

She let out a humorless chuckle and then looked away. “I’ve had two children, and Seth... He said one of the reasons he cheated was because he didn’t like the way my body changed.”

Red hot rage flared through me, and I sucked in a breath. He had not said that to her. To this beautiful, strong, compassionate woman in front of me. The woman who selflessly carried his children and then cared for them all on her own. How could he be so far off base?

“Look at me,” I said.

Her eyes met mine, worried, vulnerable.

I reached for her shirt, slowly sliding it up her skin.

Her breath hitched as I pulled it up.

“You can tell me to stop,” I said, not an ounce of humor or play in my voice. If she wanted me to, I’d step back, wait until she was ready.

She stayed silent.

The thin cotton followed the path of my hands, revealing her stomach, soft with scores of stretchmarks catching the poolside lights. Then her breasts. Full, hanging heavy with the same marks lining her stomach, thinner this time, like silver pieces of thread.

And then I pulled the shirt over her head, wavy brown hair falling through the opening and then settling around her bare shoulders.

I took her in, making sure she saw me looking at her, not shying away. Not for a second.

Then I reached for her cotton shorts, hooking my thumbs through the waistband and tugging them down over her full hips. The dimples and spider veins on her legs caught the shadow and light, contrasting her pale skin.

Her breath faltered as the fabric reached the ground, and she stepped out, leaving her clothes in a pile. I stood facing her, and she tried to wrap her arms around herself again, but this time I took her hands in mine.

I held them both in one hand and cupped the side of her face with the other, angling her chin so she was looking in my eyes, seeing me with each word I spoke.

“Larkin.” My voice was clear, firm. “Can I tell you what I see when I look at you?”

Her eyes were glassy with unshed emotion as she nodded.

I bit my lip and nodded in return, then moved my lips to her forehead, kissing her softly. “I see a smart woman who knows what needs to be done and acts on that knowing.”

I moved my lips to hers, kissing her just because I wanted to.

Then I lowered my mouth to her shoulder, bare skin heating under my mouth. “I see shoulders that carry more than they should ever have to.” I moved my lips to her chest, the spot right over her heart. “I see so much more love than I knew a person could hold.”

Her hand caressed the back of my head.

My lips traveled to her breast, and I teased her hard nipple into my mouth. A soft gasp escaped her lips.

Then I moved to her stomach, kissing the lines I could tell she worried so much about. “I see proof that you brought two of my favorite people into the world.”

I heard her breath shudder, and when I looked up to her, the emotion spilled from her eyes. I rose to wipe her tears, not wanting her to cry. “Larkin, I—”

She covered my mouth with her hand. “Thank you. For letting me see myself through your eyes.” She removed her hands and pressed to her tiptoes, kissing me.

But this time, there wasn’t a jumbo screen with thousands of people watching. There wasn’t a fresh fight with her ex looming over our heads. No children nearby to make me hold back. Hardly any clothes separating the softness of her skin from the heat of mine.

I tilted my head, deepening this kiss, and swept my arms around her to pull her even closer. She whimpered against my mouth, sending a bolt of heat straight to my cock. I wanted her, all of her.

I broke my lips apart from hers to kiss her jaw, to scrape my teeth across her neck.

“Knox,” she gasped.

Fuck me. I wanted to hear her say my name like that until she was breathless and begging. My cock was hard, pressing into her side with all the desperation I felt coursing through me.

“What if someone comes outside?” she asked, tangling her fingers through my hair like even she didn’t want to hear her question.

The odds were slim, I knew, but I didn’t want her worried for our first time. I scooped her in my arms, relishing the way my muscles worked against her full figure.

“Knox!” she yelped.

“I’ve got you,” I said to her, making the shock turn to heat in her eyes. Forget working out for defined abs or to be prepared for duty—it felt like I’d been training every day of my life for this moment. To make her feel weightless, safe in my arms.

She held on to my neck as I took her to the pool steps and carried her into the heated water, where she became truly weightless in my embrace. The water and lights swirled around us, casting shadows on the natural stone pool floor rough underfoot. The smell of salt water and Larkin’s perfume hit my senses, and I thought I’d never smelled anything better. Anything hotter.

She swam out from my arms and dipped her head under the surface. As she came up, water spilled over her features, down to her bare chest, her nipples just cresting the surface. Fuck, I wanted to taste the salt water on every inch of her.

She blinked her beautiful eyes open, a ghost of a smile on her lips.

She was letting go. My girl was letting go. For me.

I guided her to the wall of the pool, the edge reaching her shoulders. “Enough privacy?” I asked her salaciously.

She nodded, biting her bottom lip.

I dipped my head to her breast, sucking one nipple while teasing the other between my thumb and finger. She moaned softly, nails dragging across my wet shoulders in a way that only made me want to please her more.

I found her sensitive nub and swirled two fingers across it.

“Fffuck,” she moaned.

“Mmm,” I hummed against her tits, making her cry out more. I loved how easily she reacted to me, like she was waiting for this moment long before we reached the pool.

I hurried the circles, building the pressure, and her head fell back, resting on the pool’s edge, wet hair falling over her back, her shoulders, as her chest arched for me.

“That’s my girl,” I said, coming up from her tits, and then I took a breath and brought myself underwater.

Her body stilled for a moment before my tongue found her clit. I held on to her thighs and darted my tongue against her sensitive spot, tasting the best combination of salt and her. My cock was hard, straining against my boxers I’d neglected to take off. The ache drove me on, sliding fingers inside her in time to feel her walls tightening.

My lungs ached for air but not as much as I ached for her.

Her fingers gripped my hair and pulled me up above the water. I opened my eyes to see her frenzied look before she drew me to her lips, kissing me with a passion I’d never felt before. This wasn’t simple desire—it was a need—as much for her as it was for me.

She broke apart from my lips and said the sexiest line I’d ever heard: “If I’m coming, it’s going to be on your cock.”