30. Larkin

With the bedroom door closed,I could just faintly hear Knox talking to Emily and Jackson as he gave them a tour of Ford’s house. Ford may have been the leading quarterback in the league, but the real star of the day was Knox.

As I undressed and walked to the massive bathroom with a soaker tub and floor-to-ceiling glass shower doors, the day replayed in my mind. Knox had been so kind to my children, so patient with everyone and their dog referring to him as “Steve” throughout the day.

And that kiss.

I turned on the rain shower, half tempted to step into it while the water was still cold just to take the edge off all the steamy thoughts running through my mind. And the way he’d looked over my body? I shuddered, my eyes closing of their own accord. I wanted him to follow through on every lustrous thought I knew had been going through his mind. Because the same thoughts were plaguing mine.

Steam rolled off the downpouring water, and I stepped in, letting it pelt my sensitive body. I longed for Knox in a way I hadn’t longed for a man in my entire life. Sure, I’d been horny before, especially with those pregnancy hormones raging through my body, but the desire I felt for him surpassed even that. I wanted to know him, in every sense of the word. Because everything new I discovered about him didn’t make me want to turn away—it made me want him more.

With anticipation rolling through me, I took my time in the shower—time I usually didn’t get while raising two kids on my own. I shaved, refreshed my scalp and hair, and when I stepped out onto the plush rug, I took time drying myself and applying the expensive, designer-brand lotion resting on the vanity.

My hair was still wet when I stepped out of the bathroom, and I didn’t bother drying it, instead letting it air dry in its natural wavy form. I slipped into a pair of cotton shorts—maybe just to tease Knox more—and put on a loose T-shirt without a bra. Then I added some mascara and lip gloss, finalizing my effortless look that in reality took... about an hour to do.

I wondered how Knox and my kids were doing. This house was big, but surely the tour couldn’t last an hour. I cast a glance at the sun setting over the grounds and sending orange hues throughout the room before going to find them. This place really was beautiful.

I could hear them all talking, playing out in the living room. I had just barely rounded the corner, seeing Knox sitting in front of the couch, Jackson standing between his legs while Knox held his hands to give him support. Emily was on her knees beside Knox, making funny faces at Jackson.

They were so happy, laughing, playing.

They couldn’t see me, so I leaned up against the wall, taking it in, my heart feeling so full it could burst.

And then I heard Jackson say, “Dada.”

My heart stopped. I couldn’t have heard him right.

Knox and Emily gave each other a surprised look. Then Knox said, “What did you say, Jax?”

“Dada.”

Clear as a bell. From my baby’s mouth.

Liquid emotion burned my eyes as I watched Knox’s softening expression. He looked at my baby with nothing but love in his eyes. “Oh, buddy, I’m not your dada. Can you say mama?”

“Dada,” Jackson said again.

Emily leaned her cheek against Knox’s shoulder. “I wish you could be our dad.”

I pressed my hand against my chest, fighting a sob.

“Oh, honey.” He pressed his cheek against the top of her head, his expression full of emotion. “I can’t be your dad; no one will take his place. But I’m here for you no matter what, okay?”

Jackson toddled forward, putting his forehead on Knox’s chest.

“You want in on this too, huh?” Knox asked, hugging him and then pulling Emily into the hug as well. His eyes slid closed as he squeezed them tight.

It felt wrong to watch the moment, and I could barely stand still with the pain of my past telling me to run. After taking a deep breath and gathering myself, I walked into the living room. “Hey, I’m out of the shower.”

They all glanced up at me, an unreadable expression on Knox’s face. Emily jumped up, barreling toward me like a train without breaks. “Jackson said his first word!”

I gave a faltering smile, rubbing her back, and looked at Knox as I said, “I heard.”

Silent communication passed between us, expressing all the things we couldn’t say out loud. My heart was in knots, but I put on a brave face like I’d been doing for so long now and said, “Can you all give me a tour of the house?”

* * *

About an hour later,Ford came home with takeout, and we all ate around his table, talking and enjoying the food. Emily had a million questions for him about the game, and Ford finally said, “You’re either going to be a coach or a reporter one day. I’m calling it.”

We all chuckled, and it was nice to hear the warm sound that passed Knox’s lips. He sat across the table from me, holding Jackson in his lap, and didn’t seem to mind when Jackson grabbed food off his plate. Jackson had refused to be held by anyone but Knox, and I had to admit, I was panicking inside, a torrent of worry under the smooth surface I tried to portray.

I knew Knox promised to be there for him. And I had to trust he’d follow through on this word or stop this from going any further.

With a yawn, Ford got up from the table, saying, “I’m gonna hit the hay, but mi casa es su casa. If you need anything, Knox knows where to find it. And don’t worry about the dishes. Housekeeping will be by in the morning.”

Knox got up, giving Ford a one-armed hug while holding Jackson in the other arm. “Thanks for having us, brother.”

“Any time.” Ford looked at me. “I mean that. Little Miss Emily can keep me sharp for interviews.”

I smiled at my daughter, who didn’t have a shy bone in her body. “Thank you, truly. It’s been one of the best days ever.”

Emily nodded quickly. “Thank you!”

Jackson said, “Dada!” He’d been saying it all night, proud to use his own voice.

Ford smiled at us all. “Night.”

When Ford walked out of the room, I said, “We should all get to bed too.” Emily started arguing, but I shook my head at her. “It’s been a long day. Let’s go get in our jammies, and I can tell you a bedtime story.”

She perked up. “Can Knox tell me one?”

I glanced over to Knox.

“I’d love to,” he said. “If it’s okay with your mama.”

I wrapped my arms around my chest like I could hold my aching pieces together. “That’s fine with me.”

“And then you can sing me that song,” Emily said. “It was pretty.”

The expression on Knox’s face told me it meant a lot more to him than that. I squeezed his hand, and we went to put the kids in bed.

We ended up, all in pajamas, curled in a cushy king bed while Knox told a story about a little prince and princess who saved the world from danger and lived happily ever after. And then he sang “Red River Valley,” the sweet, heartfelt way he sang it bringing unshed tears to my eyes.

As my children’s eyes slid closed, I silently wished that life could be as simple as the story Knox told. That what I had thought would be my happily ever after with Seth was only the turmoil leading me to the true happiness we all wanted. But if life had taught me anything, it was that men left. And it hurt even more worrying that Knox would be one of them.