23. Hellena

23

HELLENA

" H ellena, wait?—"

"No! I'm sick of this."

"God, you're impossible!"

"Says the textbook definition of the word!"

"Hellena, stop!"

"No. I'm done for today. Give me some space."

"I'm sorry ."

He's never once truly apologized in the time I've known him. It doesn't land very well now.

"You don't get to treat me this way and then just apologize. Choose the way you want us to be. Do you want to be friends? Do you just want to be my boss? Or do you want to be… something else?"

"This isn't easy for me either, you know?"

"Not that I could tell, the way you've been avoiding me." Like it meant nothing.

It meant everything.

That's what I want him to say. Instead, he glares at me, clenching his fists at his sides.

"Let me save you the trouble and make up your mind for you. I've already agreed to do the show. I want to do the show, but you and me? That's as far as it goes. We can get hot and heavy on that stage. You can touch me, we can get passionate in the song, we can let ourselves go as far as that takes us. But that's it. That's all I'll give you because I can't risk giving you any more." My heart's hammering in my throat. I don't want to lay down this ultimatum. I don't want to say these things.

I do want to scream in his face, with its perfect shadow of stubble. It makes me nuts how much I want him. And how much more it hurts for him to ignore it.

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you," he skirts, always so fucking diplomatic.

"But it's clearly on your to-do list, isn't it?" There's no humor in my laughter, and I see his lips curl at my mocking tone.

He stalks in, glaring down into my eyes, not backing down an inch. "You think you know hurt ?" I see the pain in his eyes, but I don't want to acknowledge it.

"You don't get to tell me what I know. You don't know what I've been through, Evan."

"Don't I? I know where you came from, Hellena. I know your real last name."

"Oh, yeah?" How dare he. "Then you know what my life was like before! It was a living hell."

"I know. I can relate."

"So you say! But how would I know what you've been through, if you can understand? You never told me anything about yourself. You'd never let me in. I don't even know where you live. If it's here at the office or in some empty apartment. Sometimes, I feel like you just plug yourself in to charge at night like a fucking robot!" The insult rings hollow in the air between us.

"What do you want me to say?

"Nothing. Anything! Why can't we just talk about it?"

"Talk about what ?"

"Talk about what happened the other night." I can't help poking his chest, my finger stabbing too hard.

"What's there to talk about? It happened. It's over, move on."

"No. I can't move on."

"Why can't you just let this go?" He's ready to run. Another week of avoiding me. Piles of paperwork.

"Because I want you to admit how much you liked it. I want you to open up to me and tell me something real . Be honest about how you feel about me, not about how things should be or need to be. How things are ."

"You want me to tell you how much I loved every second of watching you dance?"

"I already know that. Tell me how much you loved it when I came for you."

I can practically hear Evan's teeth grinding.

"Why can't you just admit it?"

"Because I can't have you!" he flat out yells in my face.

There. The real Evan shows a hint of his fangs.

"Why not? I'm right here . You can have me right now." We're inches apart, my chest almost pressed against his.

And just like that, I see him snap.

He closes the distance, our lips colliding. Firm, scalding, damn near painful .

A smoldering growl escapes his lips as he burrows into mine, his tongue lashing into my mouth. I take it in, suck on it, and thrust mine right back.

Instantly, we're wrapped up in each other, hands gripping clothes, his arms pulling me close. I'm crushed against his chest, tearing at his tank top. With one hand, he whips it off over his head. It's tossed carelessly aside as he kicks open the door to one of the practice rooms, shoving everything on the table onto the floor.

His hands hook under my ass as he lifts me roughly onto the desk, holding my legs as he presses into me, already stretching his gym pants to the limit. The grind sends quakes through me.

I feel myself growling, unleashing every bit of my pent-up anguish from the past few weeks.

Evan has pushed me past my limits.

Gavin's brush with death and almost having Evan, then Tell. It's too damn much.

"More. I need more. All of it!" I moan, clutching at him.

His response is a sensual, vicious bite to my neck, scraping his teeth up to my ear to say, "I've been craving this ever since the first time we met."

Every thought or reply is blasted from my mind as he kisses me again, deeper, savoring my lips with every stroke of his tongue. It's aggressive, fervent.

" Yes ," I breathe into his ear. He tugs up my shirt, throwing it away, then my bra, tossing it haphazardly across the room.

His hands are everywhere, along my sides, cupping my breast, the aching flesh spilling over his fingers while he drags his teeth across the tip of my nipple, then a bite, just hard enough to make me wince with surprise. When he does it again, sucking and biting harder, I scream out a yelp of absolute delight and desire. " There you are… Evan ."

"You're so fucking beautiful, Hellena."

"Show me how beautiful you think I am."

His eyes flare. Challenge accepted.

Fingers massage the soft arc of my hips, exploring every curve.

Then his teeth are at my neck, my clavicle, shooting flashes of arousal up my back, deep into my abdomen.

My hands loop around his back, into the band of his pants, gripping at his stone etched hips and pulling him into me. "Not enough. I need you inside me!" The need suffuses my every move, my hips bucking toward him.

Evan has different plans. "Not yet. Not until I've tasted you."

He's working his way down, nipping at my stomach, licking and biting my sides, his fingers scraping gently along my ass and thighs. Right into the band of my yoga pants and thong, and lower, yanking them down in a single jerk.

A pause, a held breath between us.

He lets his eyes wander, hunger raging in the depths of those silver-gray orbs.

Then, in one motion, he grips my ankles, forcing me back, knees bending, spreading my legs wide to worship me. He never looks away from my exposed center as he lowers himself, slowly. Until right before he buries his face between my legs, our eyes meet.

"Evan!" I scream, my eyes rolling back in my head as his tongue spears into me.

He's molten lava, spiraling into my depths, his lips joining mine in the sweetest, deepest kiss. I bite my lower lip, my mouth longing for that same kiss but never wanting him to stop.

I wish he could kiss me while he devours my pleasure. He laps up every ounce of what I give him, what he makes me give him.

Heat envelops us, the two of us still worked up from dancing, even more so now. A low chuckle slips out of my lips as the air conditioning kicks on.

Every inch of exposed skin pebbles as cool air touches my soaked core.

It makes my nipples harden, tight, shivering through me in sweet contrast to the roiling fire between my legs, Evan's tongue.

I feel the slick against his chin as he takes a breath. "You taste…"

"Like what?"

"Heaven." His growl vibrates into my clit as he lashes it in tight circles, sweeping in unbearable wheels around the tip, pressing a finger to my opening. He slides one in, testing me, sending my hips into a twirl rotation on the table top.

"More!" I beg.

Another finger joins the first, then a third, easing in to let me adjust. Gentle pressure pulls me upward as he massages that sweetest spot, off and on, a rhythm, setting my back and ass rolling in a wave.

It's enough to make me scream. But it's just the start .

It can't end here. It can't end with just this. Not this time.

I fist a handful of his silky black hair, tugging up roughly for him to look at me. For him to stand. He resists, lunging in to lick me again, but I shove him back, standing up and grabbing him. "No. Not enough . Give me everything!"

"Hellena…"

"Don't you dare back down." I rise up on my toes, licking his bottom lip, tasting a hint of my lust on him.

"I wasn't planning on it."

His pause wasn't hesitation. It was a warning.

His hands lock around my waist suddenly, flipping me around, pressing down into my back and bending me over the table as I spread wide for him.

My hands stretch out across the surface, the cool surface easing the burning skin of my breasts. I thrust my ass out, inviting him, practically pleading for him to fill me up.

A tortured, miserable sound slips out of him as I feel the tip of him press against my entrance. I look back, waiting, throbbing inside. "What are you waiting for?" I gasp, writhing on the table in tortured agony. If he doesn't take me now, I'll fucking lose my mind.

He's looking down at me, down the length of that sculpted nose, imperious.

Just like the day we met. Only this time, it riles something different in me.

"Say it," he commands. I can feel him holding back, the swollen, drenched tip barely spreading me open. "Say. It."

" Fuck me, Evan ."

I let my head tilt back slowly, my back arching. It's a moment that stands perfectly still in time as he threads his fingers through my hair, presses his other palm onto the small of my back.

He breathes me in, taking a long, slow inhale…

Before thrusting himself as deep as he can, filling me to the brim, stretching me to my limit, that perfect edge of pleasure and pain. His name reverberates against the walls when I scream.

He's enormous. He's the only thing I can feel against every bit of me inside.

More than that, I feel him , his presence filling the room, my chest, my heart pounding a rhythm only for him. He lets me lie there for a moment, allowing me to adjust to him while I gasp for air, for life, for blood.

And he's all of them. He's water, and I'm dying of thirst.

My arms reach out, preparing, gripping the edge of the desk. The first thrust nearly knocks the wind out of me. The second brings me back to life, igniting every cell in my body with light.

He drives in once more, leaning over me, tugging back my hair to lick the rim of my ear.

" Let. Go ." And I know he doesn't mean my grip on the table.

" Make me ," I grit out through my teeth, and I feel him laugh, sending shudders through me.

He drags himself out to the tip before driving back in, all the way to the hilt, his hips slapping against my ass.

Again, and again, and then he's pounding me, holding me firmly in place, pinning me to the desk. If he let me go now, I might fly away, come unbound from the earth.

I know I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. His name, only his name. "Evan. Evan! Faster, harder!"

I'm begging him, wailing.

People outside the building might hear my cries, but I don't give a fuck.

Every thrust forces a scream until I'm hoarse, and still, I don't let up. The beat of our bodies meeting over and over again is the only thing that matters.

The sheer force of him rattles the bars of my cage, reaching in to set something inside me free. The beast inside him is free, and howling for me to join him.

I let out a wordless wail, a cry. I can't even say his name anymore.

Quivering tremors start in my knees as they give out, the first waves of my orgasm barreling along my sides, deep into my thighs. "I'm going to?—"

"YES!" he snarls.

My toes curl, my heels rising up off the ground.

Little pops of light fire off behind my closed eyes, the rush of adrenaline and overwhelming desire sending me into orbit.

The eruption starts behind my belly button, deep in my core, coiling up into my chest, down and around my spine, rocketing through my legs, and back up into my center. My inner walls clench, tightening around Evan like a vise and I hear him cry out something that might be my name.

It's primal. And it drags a second wave of pleasure out of me, crashing over me like a tsunami.

I feel him pulsating, hot, liquid love overflowing, spilling down my thighs.

It's the most exquisite thing I've ever felt.

And it's the most exquisite sight as I open my eyes, watching his reflection in the practice room window ahead of me. His eyes are rolled back in his head, sweat pouring down his face. His mouth is hanging open in a silent roar.

This is Evan. This is the real man behind the ivory mask. The man I want more of.

My need resurges, coiling again, making me grind back into him.

He moans painfully, almost a whimper of protest. Like I'm asking too much.

But he grinds back, his eyes flaring wide, his lips pulling back in a wicked smile.

I start slow.

He's still rock hard inside me.

It's torturous for both of us, lingering in the aftershocks of the first cataclysm. The sweet, ticklish sensation sends my abdomen fluttering, the insides of my thighs quivering.

I can barely stand up.

So, I spin, snatching his cock in one hand and squeezing him ruthlessly. "Stay hard for me."

A shout escapes his lips as I do it, and he glares straight into my eyes, pushing me back up onto the desk and slamming himself deep inside. The slippery, divine mess of our ecstasy is all over both of us.

"I'm always rock hard for you."

This time is slower, closer. He doesn't pull out. He just grinds, right up into my G-spot.

My knees lock up into his chest, held fast by hands tucked around my lower back.

The rocking motion creates friction between us, my clit pressing into his pelvis, pinning me in the most devilish position, stimulating every aspect of my sex. In seconds, I'm at the edge again, about to tumble over. I know he might not come with me this time, but I don't give a fuck.

I lie back, stretching out on the desk as I cry out. "A–again… I'm coming again!"

This time, there's no tension, my entire body shivering and shaking as shimmering heat swells through me. It lasts for an eternity. Twenty seconds, thirty seconds, a minute. An hour.

I can't tell. I've lost all sense of time, let go of everything.

All I can feel is him inside me, filling me completely, making me come again. And again. And a third time. I think I might pass out.

All I hear is his laughter, wicked and free, pure masculine pride at what he's doing to me.

"One more. One more for me, Hellena…" It's a whisper, but it's still demanding.

He's gaining speed again. He's lost in me, focused only on where we're joined, his eyes closed, his eyebrows scrunched together.

Evan leans in over me, baring his neck, his head thrown back. As I feel him start to come again, he buries his face in my neck, whispering my name. The entire length of his muscular frame is taut, clenching as he erupts inside me again.

And I can't stop myself from the mind-numbing shudders that take me with him.

Again.

It's a slow, long, drawn-out orgasm, every nerve in my body lighting up, tingling and awakening before cresting, breaking, and falling away to delicious, drained slumber.

I can't even open my eyes.

We just lie there, on the table, heaving, his body keeping me impossibly warm. His fingers find their way into my hair, gently rubbing, caressing me with a tenderness I've never seen from him.

It's perfect quiescence. Silence.

Both of us understand that when we stop, when we pull away, the moment will be over. We'll have to pretend like we're ourselves again.

But nothing will ever be the same.